Kimberly Morris said:Thanks restlesstrucker15, I'll keep you posted.
So, while I was off my meds, things got pretty dark. It wasn't just the depression and anxiety; I was having panic attacks so bad I couldn't even get out of bed. I was losing like 2 pounds a day just from the stress. But the worst part? These intrusive thoughts kept popping up—like, what if I actually hurt someone? It was especially terrifying because it focused on kids. I come from a huge family and have a massive circle of friends and godchildren; I adore those kids and they absolutely love me. That thought alone was just soul-crushing. When I brought this up to my doctor, she brushed it off as "just anxiety" and put me on unknown, which honestly did nothing for me. Still, I can't shake the fear that these thoughts might be early signs of schizophrenia or some other kind of psychosis. What do you guys think?
Is Bluzar still around? Or fadedbear92? (I've been lurking and reading every single one of your posts since day one.)
I'm neither unknown nor Ray, but I'm jumping in because I'm on unknown myself. 🙂
Your doctor likely prescribed unknown because it's the only SSRI specifically targeted for anxiety, and it's the only one the FDA cleared for OCD. Those intrusive thoughts you're describing are a classic symptom of OCD, and I've been there myself—though mine were more about whether I'd ever be able to sleep again after going through a bout of insomnia.
For people whose main issue is anxiety, unknown usually takes a while to kick in—we're talking at least two months. So, I totally get why your doctor wanted to give it a shot first.
One thing that bugs me, though, is that she only gave you 50 mg (half a pill). Everywhere you look, it says the minimum therapeutic dose for anxiety and intrusive thoughts is 100 mg or higher.
I take 100 mg right before bed, and I can tell you it basically shut down most of my unwanted thought loops. It just took a long time to work, but as time goes on, I feel like it's doing better and better.
Mind you, I'm also doing CBT, so I'm putting in a lot of work on myself. Looking back at where I was six months ago versus now... it's night and day. I'm happy, I'm calm, and I can actually control my thoughts. If I don't want to dwell on something, I can choose to just switch it off.
A friend of mine had those exact same intrusive thoughts—that terrifying fear of hurting someone—and she didn't really stabilize until her doctor added a morning dose to her 100 mg evening dose of unknown. She's doing much better now.
Don't sweat the pregnancy stuff. The only real risk with SSRIs during pregnancy is a minor chance of lower birth weight; they haven't found any links to fetal malformations. If your doctor decides you need medication, don't let the fear of affecting the baby stop you. It's more important that you stay stable and sane so the baby stays healthy. In fact, based on everything I've read, medications like unknown or other benzos could potentially do more harm than an SSRI when they're actually necessary.
Anyway, trust your doctor. Don't be afraid of meds during pregnancy. Just take care of yourself, pamper the baby, and everything will be fine. 🙂
🙂