Posts by Joseph Fisher3

Is someone actually getting married? If so, I suppose I should offer my congratulations. ☕

I’m not entirely sure which corner of this forum is appropriate for such inquiries, but I find myself wondering if it’s true that ESPN has somehow surrendered its rights to broadcast Premier League matches during the 4:00 PM slot. For three consecutive weeks now, they’ve been opting to air ATP and WTA tennis at that exact hour, leaving the Premier League relegated to those rather inconveniently timed 1:45 PM and 6:30 PM windows.🤷

Paul Walker might just drag Hitman down to the level of an Uwe Boll production. I’ve never been much of a fan of his acting, and I have a nagging fear that the new Hitman will be miles inferior to the one starring Olyphant.

This movie might have actually been a decent little flick if it had featured an entirely different cast and hadn't been shackled to being a sequel to a truly great film. As it stands, you can clearly see the studio trying to milk a dying franchise; they managed to scrape by, sure, but that desperate grab at former glory really drags the whole experience down. 4/10

It would be absolutely devastating if the movie wrapped up with that zombie boy biting her and devouring her alive 🤣

Judging by the trailer, it seems M. Night Shyamalan basically spoiled the big twist right in the teaser—apparently, the animals and plants have developed their own defense mechanisms... one might say we’ve landed on a planet of The flora & fauna ala Shyamalan.

And honestly, there isn't even a hint of evolution here; forget about Darwin, we just have some hyper-aggressive lions and tigers attacking people on sight—acting exactly as they would if they were being provoked today.

I suspect this is going to be a bit of a rough watch, but I suppose I'll give it a shot, if only because we're getting a few more SFov titles that aren't Transformers...

Predictions for tomorrow's slate

Dynamo Kyiv – Dynamo Chicago 1
The Kyiv side enters this matchup under a new manager, desperate to shake off that recent loss to the Parisians; they are heavy favorites against the Chicago squad who, despite beating the Lakers, still struggled when facing top-tier European talent.
Porto – Paris SG x2
Porto doesn't carry that same aura of dominance they had a couple of seasons ago, whereas the Parisians have finally found their rhythm and look like they are just hitting their stride. They might not go all out given their upcoming fixtures against the Chicago side, but they possess enough quality and momentum to leave Portugal without a loss; an over 2.5 goal count feels plausible since both sides tend to be quite prolific.
Schalke 04 – Montpellier 1
The French champions are managing to scrape by in their domestic league, and while they lacked any luck against Arsenal, it doesn't change the fact that they are underdogs in Gelsenkirchen; Schalke has established themselves as Champions League regulars with a deeper roster and much better current form.
Arsenal – Olympiacos 1
For the third time in four years, Arsenal finds itself facing a Greek representative in the Champions League group stage. Given that the home side has won all four previous encounters, logic dictates the pattern will hold true here.
Zenit – Milan x
Perhaps the most difficult pick on the board. A few weeks ago, I would have taken a straight win here, but Zenit's abysmal form and that crushing defeat against Malaga have introduced a healthy dose of doubt. Milan is having an equally mediocre start to their season, so I expect a cautious, tactical affair where both sides play it safe; an under seems likely, but I’ll settle for the draw.
Anderlecht – Malaga 2
The Belgian champions have been somewhat inconsistent over the last couple of European seasons. Although they started things off well in Milan, they now face a Malaga side that is in fantastic form and looks significantly sharper than they did last year; an away win is a very realistic outcome.
Manchester City – Borussia Dortmund 1
It is fairly obvious that the English champions are favorites at home, though I can see the outlines of a new Dortmund emerging—one that knows how to capitalize on opportunities at home, judging by their performance against Ajax. They do need to prove themselves on the road, which will be a tougher ask considering they lost all three away matches last season.
Ajax – Real Madrid 2
This marks the third time in three seasons these two meet in the Champions League group stage. Real Madrid handled visiting Ajax with routine ease twice before, and I suspect they will do the same this time, regardless of their sluggish start in La Liga.

My analysis for tomorrow's Champions League slate:

Juventus vs. Shakhtar: 1
I’m giving the edge to Juventus simply because they’re playing at home, though I wouldn't call it a walk in the park. Shakhtar is a dangerous side on the road; they actually managed to take down Roma 3-2 during their last trip over here.
FC Nordsjælland vs. Chelsea: 2
This one feels fairly straightforward to me. Chelsea has had a stellar start to the season, whereas Nordsjælland is holding their own early on, but they still haven't secured a real result against a European heavyweight. They’ve struggled against teams like Sporting Lisbon, falling twice to Greek sides like PAOK and Olympiacos.
Valencia vs. Lille: 1
Neither side is exactly tearing it up in their domestic leagues lately, but if I have to pick, Valencia remains the slight favorite.
BATE Borisov vs. Bayern Munich: 2
Despite BATE's recent upset over a French club, Bayern isn't about to let an embarrassment like that happen again. They'll take this seriously enough that I could even see them covering the spread.
Benfica vs. Barcelona: X
Benfica has always been a tough nut to crack—even if they do occasionally drop points at home against the elite—but Barcelona has a habit of settling for draws when they travel to face mid-tier opposition, much like they did against teams like Inter or Rangers. They usually have more pressing matters regarding goal difference and league standings to worry about elsewhere.
Spartak Moscow vs. Celtic Glasgow: 1
Spartak should handle this business without too much trouble given their superior quality, especially since Celtic hasn't shown anything suggesting they belong in the top tier of this competition.
Cluj vs. Manchester United: 2
Cluj has been impressive, winning all their matches in this tournament so far, but Manchester United will be looking to wash away the bitter taste of that loss to Tottenham. They'll play with plenty of intensity; I don't expect a blowout, but a United win seems likely.
Galatasaray vs. Braga: 1
From what I can see, Galatasaray is riding a wave of momentum. Even with a recent slip-up in the domestic league, they'll be highly motivated playing in the Champions League for the first time in six years against an injury-plagued Braga. A handicap win isn't out of the question.

We went from X2 to First Class, then hit that squad movie, and finally the trilogy—though they really managed to butcher the third one.

A thriller that somehow achieved cult status despite being incredibly cliché 🤣

If only he’d repeated that one punchline from the first movie 🤣