Posts by Joshua Clark

velvetwolf92 said:Joshua Clark, I can go sample perfumes all day, but I can't exactly go sampling cookies. So, I was really just looking for some suggestions, you know? Just trying to see what most people tend to gravitate toward—even though, obviously, I can't get a truly representative sample of everyone's taste here on this forum. Basically, I’m thinking of something light, something where I won't be making a massive mistake. And yeah, I totally get that we’re all different and everyone has their own specific thing, but still, I just wanted to get a sense of how you guys live your lives...

Exactly—that's the whole point. Just like I can't tell you "this knife is good because it's sharp," I can't just say "this cake is the best because it tastes good."

Well, if that’s how it works... then count me in. But just so we're clear—I am NEVER doing things by the book. If I were getting married, my cake would be pure chocolate, and honestly? Every single table would have its own unique flavor profile.

Seriously though... that's like asking, "Hey girls, I want to buy some perfume, what do you recommend?"

Hey, I just updated my post... I’m going to get some work done now, so I'll be typing away—honestly, I don't know when I'll stop! 😍

Arthur Ramirez4 said:Hey Joshua Clark, I actually have a little question for you too.

So, check out this cake I'm making. They’re asking me for $267 per $33 pound. Does that sound like a lot to you, or am I overthinking it? It’s going to be a rich buttercream frosting with a frozen mint cream filling inside.



The thing is, they told me a cake this size couldn't possibly weigh less than 7 or 8 pounds—though honestly, I don't even need that much since I've only got 43 guests coming, but I really wanted this specific style. Do you think they're just trying to rip me off, or is that actually how much these things weigh??😕

They could be lying to you, but I won't. Honestly, I think you'd pay that much for a cake like that anywhere. If we're being totally real—it doesn't actually cost *that* much—but I doubt anyone will make it for you cheaper. Anyone even attempting something like this has to factor in ingredients and labor. And when you calculate things like having to bake two separate cakes—especially a Black Forest which needs those specific sponge layers—well, a few dozen dollars is just covering the labor at any bakery... that's just my take.
So, realistically it isn't that pricey, but I highly doubt you'll find it cheaper.

Also, it cracks me up how some people estimate these cakes... I mean, sometimes they quote by the pound, other times by the person... who knows? I'm a realist, so I just look at the materials and the decor. A parfait cake could serve over 100 people while being 10 pounds lighter than something else—like a dense flourless chocolate cake, for example.

The math just doesn't make sense to me, but whatever.

Look, Black Forest is a budget-friendly cake. Not because it's bad, but economically speaking. For two tiers of a cake like that, you're looking at maybe $33 because the ingredients are super simple—you know that. So, say the ingredients are $100 max (that's if you're making it at home; professionals get everything wholesale, so it's way cheaper), plus maybe another $100 or $200 for decorations, bringing the total to $133 once it's made and styled. Then you pay for the work—if it's $800 and the stuff costs $400, then $133 is the labor. But in this case, I think the labor is probably $167 since the supplies aren't that expensive—actually, maybe I exaggerated.

What else is there to say besides...

Still waters run deep. 😘

Nicholas Moore61 said:All good... I'll come up with something, plus I can always just trim off a few quarters of an inch... 🙂

Look, ExxonMobil carries them, though they might be available elsewhere too. They're those little sticks you can toss right into a dessert—kind of like putting cookies in a trifle.

Sam Kim12 said:Oh, man... I owe my entire worldview to that line in your signature.😎

Because I just found out I'm pregnant—which basically makes your statement totally baseless, since you can't possibly know someone else's cycle. But anyway, we're getting off topic now😘

Nicholas Moore61 said:wow... Joshua Clark 🙏 🙏 ... those chocolate ones (the ones with the filling) are legendary... I might try making something similar at home for my girls... maybe just melt some chocolate, spread it on foil, roll it up, and then wrap it in some wafers or something? Or what else?

You can find molds for those—just like the ones for any other chocolate "treats"—but honestly, I haven't come across them here in the States yet.

Ugh, I actually have to head out now

I think this one is pretty great too

cake

Hey, Ivy, just a few quick ones before I head out

one

Ivy, I’ve gotta run to work in a bit—but when I'm back, please remind me.
brightotter25 👍
Zachary Gray35, which one specifically? Honestly, I can whip up pretty much any flavor you can imagine—so why don't you just tell me what you're craving or what you usually love? Then I can give you some solid suggestions based on those vibes.

Come on, let's see some more cakes—there's enough for everyone

hell yeah

Ashley Adams4 said:😘 😁 You're something else... personally, I’m actually digging that math more—I'm even thinking about having them make mine a bit more... well, streamlined. You know, maybe add some vertical lines running down the whole thing to accentuate the curves. 😬 Either way, she'll end up covered in flowers and ribbons anyway...
Great, then go for chocolate... yeah 😍 😍 yum yum😛

Hey, want an idea?

You could go with a "textured" chocolate vibe on the sides if you're into kitsch like I am 😍

Anyone else around? 😬

Ashley Adams4 said:Regarding the fondant thing—I'm wondering if I can get a smooth look using chocolate ganache instead? I really want a brown exterior, and a chocolate coating sounds perfect, but will that chocolate be firm or🤔 help... also, I haven't booked anything yet because everyone keeps telling me I can find a better deal than what M&M's is offering me ($933 for 300 vs. 280 people), so please, I need advice. My one non-negotiable is having a portion of ice cream cake... please, please help, I have to book by the end of the week—time is running out🤣 🤣
Joshua Clark, Zachary Gray... anybody help me out...😬

Chocolate is actually a very forgiving glaze—honestly, it’s probably the easiest option to work with.
The top of the cake will definitely be perfectly smooth; there's no doubt about that.
BUT
I can't guarantee the sides will be flawlessly smooth since chocolate tends to drip, plus it's incredibly hard to level out any natural bumps or imperfections on the side of the cake itself. You also have to be careful about which frosting you use inside so the chocolate doesn't melt into it. Generally speaking, though—my advice would be to avoid those thin, runny chocolate glazes. If you go that route, you'll be constantly reheating it just to cut a slice, only to have the glaze crack and fall apart on you.

If you want chocolate, I’d suggest a slightly thicker glaze. To be honest, it won't be AS shiny, but it'll be delicious, the surface will be smooth, it'll slice beautifully, and even if there are some minor unevenness on the sides, you won't even notice because the matte finish hides everything.

brightotter25 said:Joshua Clark Of course the cake needs to be in the fridge. My kitchen has a refrigerator, and my hometown has local bakeries everywhere. So, you’re actually telling me that you can just smooth out whipped cream perfectly enough to look wedding-ready? And you think it'll hold up just because there's a fridge nearby?
Also, what about this idea that sponge cake isn't great and just crumbles apart when you try to slice it?
And I'm wondering if there are any other options—second or third choices, maybe.
Thanks, ladies. You guys are helping a lot.

I was actually just talking about this yesterday with a friend who asked me to bake a cake. Look—fondant is less work, sure, it doesn't need to be perfectly level, BUT YOU CAN SMOOTH WHIPPED CREAM JUST FINE. If I can do it, then professional pastry chefs with all their fancy gear can definitely pull it off.
My cakes come out looking like mirrors😬 regardless of what filling I use—but most bakeries don't have the time or the patience to mess around with it, so they end up with something bumpy. They just do two quick swipes with a long knife and call it a day. Well, 🙂 if you're chasing perfection...

Everything you're asking depends on the type of fondant you're using—not to repeat myself there.

As for your last question—yeah, there are alternatives. I often use a meringue mixture that hardens just like those little white meringue cookies you see. Basically, I treat the meringue like whipped cream, add a little "secret ingredient," and the cake ends up looking like porcelain. White, super glossy, and firm—unlike creamy whipped cream, since the meringue sets. But hey, that's my little trick, given to you for free (:sillyme🙂

Alright, since I'm already being an idiot, I'll let you in on another secret.
Lemon glaze. White, delicate... absolutely delicious when paired with a walnut or hazelnut cake.

There, now I've told you everything, including the fact that I'm a total amateur😲 and I've spilled all my secrets. :sad: