We’re also wrestling with working memory issues, restlessness, speech struggles, and focus... My little guy still isn't really interested in cooperating, so everything is an uphill battle. Motivating him is basically impossible right now. You gave me some great ideas regarding < and > and addition/subtraction—he actually gets those concepts, but I think we could see way better results if we framed them through play. He’s fine with synthesis and analysis, but opposites? Not so much.
Abstract stuff is a total disaster, and retelling stories is just as bad.
What grade is she in? And how is she holding up in school???
John James5, can you give me the lowdown? How exactly did you guys prep for the baby that year? I’m talking about everything—speech therapists, specialists, any specific supplements?
I don't see how social services even come into this. What does that have to do with a school deferral?
In our case, we just got the deferral approved. The school called us in to pick up the paperwork, we dropped it off at the preschool, and that was the end of it.
Michelle Nelson4 said:Honestly, things in our preschools aren't quite where they should be. My take? It’s nothing out of the ordinary, because even when we face much bigger issues, the solution isn't to create more groups or hire extra teachers. Instead, we just cram the existing ones until they hit maximum capacity. And this is supposed to be the crown jewel of our entire education system! So, if anyone thinks delaying enrollment is a great fix, they really ought to think twice about how we're just trying to squeeze the same old results out of the same overstuffed classrooms. Personally, I don't mind having preschoolers around, but if someone decided next year to just completely wreck a group's dynamic by stuffing it full of "repeaters" who supposedly just needed "one more year of play," I wouldn't be able to sit idly by and watch that happen.
Regarding these mixed-age groups where 50% are preschoolers—that sounds like a very specific situation that I haven't encountered anywhere else. Usually, you either see mixed groups ranging from ages 3 to 7 where there's maybe a 20% split per age bracket (like in those specialized Montessori, sports, or language immersion programs), or they simply organize kids by their birth year.
Forgive me, but what exactly are you even doing on this "school delay" thread?
Everything you say feels incredibly condescending. I don't know where you live or what makes you think you're some kind of expert throwing around percentages like that, but let me tell you: that's just not how things work around here.
Michelle Nelson4 said:As far as I know, the pre-K classes are just completely packed, and our local daycare has about 28 kids in one group already. ☕ It’s not like they’re going to cram all the pre-K students into one massive room just because they're technically the same age—we aren't seeing groups of 30+ children like that. Usually, the school doesn't just tear up existing classes to fix things; they just slot the new enrollments or the kids who didn't get into their preferred group into whichever classroom still has an open spot left...
Well, that’s news to me. From what I’ve heard, when kids stay on, the administration tries to place them in either a dedicated preschool class or a mixed-age group. There’s definitely professional staff involved whose job is to make sure a kid doesn't end up stuck in a room full of much younger toddlers.
The school already reached out to me, and we're scheduled to sit down and talk about it in early September.
Michelle Nelson4 said:I honestly cannot wrap my head around this whole idea that someone born in February 2011 is somehow at a disadvantage or "pitiful" just because there are kids born in April 2010. It makes zero sense to me!
Personally, I was born in April, and even though I started school just under the age of six and a half, I never once felt behind or had any issues whatsoever. My own child was born in January and also started at 6.5—she’s consistently getting top marks, she’s one of the most athletic kids in her PE class, and her best friends are actually nearly a year older than she is. She fits in perfectly. So, in my experience, a child starting at 6.5 instead of 7.5 isn't an inherent problem at all.
Actually, I saw a bit of a scene the other morning at daycare. I was dropping off my youngest right when a mom was there with her son, who didn't start kindergarten last year. Most of the group has just turned five, so they're basically celebrating their seventh birthdays by the time they hit the big leagues. Anyway, it was such a dramatic moment—the poor little guy was crying his eyes out because he didn't want to go to daycare, and his mom was just desperately trying to convince him that he only had to hang in there for a little while longer. And really, they still have another year of playing mostly with five-year-olds before the real transition happens...
😲 Wait, why is he even in a class with five-year-olds? Why isn't he with the actual preschoolers?
Douglas Booth22 said:The school called me yesterday to let me know they held a meeting and that I need to come in to sign off on the deferment. It’s finally official—I honestly had no idea how the whole process was supposed to work.
Don't be clueless—read a couple of pages first and then everything will make sense. 😁
I don't get why you're beating yourself up over thinking about it now when it's all settled and the little one is enrolled. If it makes you feel any better, I’d love for my kid to be as "ready" as yours and head off to kindergarten at 6.5! 🕺
Look, northerncobra27, I’ve just got one question for you: do you actually know what the legal requirements are if you want to delay a kid starting school for another year of preschool?
The whole "letting them play for one more year" thing is really only an option for parents whose kids aren't legally required to enroll yet—like if they were born in, say, April. In that case, you can send them to school or keep them home, and it's totally up to you. But let’s be clear: this isn't something a dad just decides on a whim!
🤦 Maybe try reading the post again? Honestly, everyone is so rushed to jump in with their opinions that nobody actually takes a second to process the facts.
Look, no parent makes these kinds of calls in a vacuum. You don't just decide on your own; you rely on professional guidance and ultimately follow the recommendation of a board or a committee.
And why on earth do you think a child being unable to recount their own experience isn't a valid reason? Of course it is. That’s never going to be the sole issue, but it’s part of the bigger picture. Finally, why do you care so much if your kids are already grown and ready for the world? Do we really need to push our unprepared kids into things just so yours can look more "ready" by comparison???
Every parent does what they believe is best for their offspring. It’s not "overprotectiveness"—it’s listening to a child's readiness and working alongside professionals who actually have the degrees and the experience to back up their advice.
Like I said before, I’m lucky enough to have a little genius at home who started school at five, so forgive me if I sound like I know what I'm talking about when I say that age can be perfect.
Tyler Ruiz502 said:Why all the lectures and the judgmental looks just because someone asked for a delay? It’s clearly more convenient for them that way—just a way to spin things. Honestly, what’s the big deal? Is your kid somehow being deprived because of this?
If it were up to me, I’d love it if we weren't forced into these rigid schedules—if we could just take an extra year of vacation whenever it actually suits us... In that scenario, my kid would have been looked after at daycare for one more summer, just a little extra buffer. And they might have gained a year of "independence" by stepping away from the constant grind... There’s nothing to lose here; you can only gain. I mean, why should my personal reasons bother anyone? Seriously.
I still remember you from back when you were pregnant. 😉 Is your girl starting this year?
Love your signature. 😁 Really took me back 25 years.
Robert Rodriguez9 said:Reading and writing aren't really an issue for him. He’s shown interest, and we’ve stepped in to help whenever he asks. I can see him starting to grasp basic math principles now, too. But speech, retelling stories, even general comprehension—that’s where he struggles. Honestly, once he starts school, we're just going to have to push him harder on those specific areas. He's absorbing everything, but it's slow, and he moves at his own pace. Given how much we've dealt with so far, I really wonder if a year of delaying enrollment would actually result in any meaningful progress in those areas.
I know this isn't the main topic, but I'm curious—what are you all doing to tackle this?
Regarding the delay... I'd love to hear from parents whose kids are already in school after being held back a year. Did that extra year actually make a difference?
The teachers at our preschool are being pretty harsh; they're convinced he'll be struggling forever. ☕Fine, I hear you. I’ll work with him and stay on top of his lessons, but I'm really hoping one more year of preschool gives him a chance to catch up on his speech and sharpen his focus a little.
urbantinker8 said:well, I guess... I have people in my inner circle that I've been close with for ages, and I know their kids too, so, since I work in education, I suppose I'm not exactly naive enough to misread the situation.
Alright, fine, I get what you mean. There are definitely liars all around us. 😁
I wouldn't pin this "unjustified" anxiety on parents; I'd pin it on society. Why are we teaching English in first grade now? We all know everyone knows it, but it wasn't even part of the curriculum until a few years later. And why is there this massive, forced obsession with getting straight A's? (Don't try to tell me otherwise, because it's happening.) Every time I ask someone how their kid is doing in school, the answer is always, "Oh, they have straight A's!" 🙄 But if I ask, "Do they actually have friends?" or "Do they even enjoy being there?"—it's usually followed by, "Well, as long as they have those A's." 😁 What happened to the C's? Where did they go? How is it possible for a kid to have homework assigned in the first semester when they're still struggling to learn the alphabet???
And why does my kid need to be shoved into a cookie-cutter mold? It doesn't work for everyone. If my kid is a math whiz but struggles with English or social studies, can they get into a top-tier STEM academy? Of course not.
How can you actually believe people when they claim the delay is just because they want more playtime? I’m an open book about my own struggles, and honestly, the more I talk, the more I realize that maybe the ones who keep everything bottled up have it easier—they just let out these little, harmless outbursts instead. Besides, nobody really cares about my drama anyway. ☕
They’d be shocked at how mature they act, yet they still fail those standardized tests in school. So, what makes you think their moms aren't going to blast them all over Facebook?
And please, there is absolutely zero practical difference between a kid starting at 7.5 months versus 7.8 months! 🤦
I’ve been scrolling through these last two pages and my blood is starting to boil. Honestly, who am I even supposed to argue with here!?
Do you seriously think there’s some idiot out there who would hold their kid back from school just so they could enjoy an extra-long weekend for another year? Give me a break. 😠
It’s easy for people like you to talk—you know, the ones whose kids don't face any actual hurdles—so the idea of delaying school seems totally alien. But some of us are actually out here doing the work, regularly hitting up speech therapists, child psychologists, or specialists. There are real issues at play: emotional immaturity, health concerns, neurodivergence, speech delays... things aren't always black and white.
I started school when I was six, but those were different times. I distinctly remember having a reading list of ten to fifteen books in first grade alone. Back then, nobody expected us to walk in already knowing every single letter of the alphabet or basic math, and heaven knows no one was "prepping" us in preschool the way they try to do everything nowadays. You can't even compare the two eras.
Personally, I’d love nothing more than for my kid to start at six and just be ready to go. But he isn't! And let’s get one thing straight: delaying enrollment isn't some impulsive whim; it's a decision made alongside a team of professionals.
Yeah, pretty much the exact opposite of what we're dealing with here... ☕
Our speech therapist thinks my little guy might eventually sound just like any other kid once he hits 7, 8, or 9 years old. But there’s a catch: he’ll basically just be memorizing how to talk because his grasp on grammar—the actual "feel" for the language—just isn't there. He'll still run into hurdles down the road that'll be pretty obvious, like struggling with reading, schoolwork, or even dyslexia...
She also mentioned he can definitely go to a regular school, but honestly, it’s going to be an uphill battle for all of us. It's hard because having solid speech skills is the whole foundation you need to actually master reading and writing.
Douglas Booth22 said:We visited the school health clinic after finishing some blood work at the local lab and a quick checkup with our dentist. It started with the nurse, who went through the standard routine: weighing him, checking his vision, and having him draw a person and write his name. Then came the pattern recognition task—triangle, circle, plus sign, and so on. After that, we sat down with the pediatrician. It was obvious right away that he wasn't feeling it; he wouldn't talk and just turned his back to her. She asked me if I thought he was ready for this, and honestly, I told her no—that he’s been struggling with speech and hitting milestones a bit later than other kids his age. Looking at his drawing, she noted that his developmental maturity isn't quite there yet. We had a long discussion, and she agreed that pushing a child too hard before they are ready is counterproductive. She handed me referrals for a speech therapist and a psychologist so I can bring the results back to her. His drawing lacked fingers entirely, and he really struggled with those basic patterns, which is frustrating since his preschool teachers work on this constantly and I assign practice at home. We also have an appointment scheduled with the school psychologist, who shared the same sentiment: you can't force readiness where it doesn't exist.
We've actually been seeing a speech therapist regularly for about a year and a half now, and we were just at the psychologist today for testing (there's more coming in three days).
From what I can tell, his fine motor skills are solid, but his speech is really struggling—things like "R" sounds, certain word combinations, grammar... I'm genuinely curious to see what the psychologist concludes once the testing is wrapped up, because I certainly can't judge his maturity or IQ myself.
Oh, and the doctor made a point to say that pushing an unready child is a mistake because once they start elementary school, there's no turning back. In her view, it's better for him to stay home for one more year. She commented that she deals with way more issues from parents who force their kids into school than from parents like us, who seem worried they might not be ready.
Douglas Booth22 said:We finally got the results today without any issues, and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief 🙂 She asked for my take on whether he’s actually ready. Looking at the assignment and the diagram he had to complete—given his birthday is January 31st and they evaluate based on a March 1st cutoff—he technically has two extra months of development on his side, so it shouldn't be an issue. We were given referrals for a psychologist, a pediatric neurologist, and a speech therapist to get a full evaluation done. That way, we can pinpoint exactly where he's struggling and work on those specific gaps to ensure he's properly prepared for next year 🙂 I'm relieved; having this extra year will make a massive difference for him
Come on, give us some more details... why did you guys request the evaluation in the first place? What was the testing process actually like? Did the tests themselves confirm that he wasn't quite ready?
Susan James said:In that case, I wouldn't want to delay a gifted child's schooling either.🤷 Honestly, we shouldn't make things harder for them by making them wait.😢
With gifted kids, you often run into social or emotional immaturity, which can sometimes be a reason to hold off on starting school early. But you really have to look at how they’re doing in preschool and what kind of support system they have at home. Personally, I’d rather see a child get settled into a school environment than leave them stuck in preschool too long. I worry they might end up feeling like, "I'm not going to school because I'm not smart enough," especially when they see other kids who might struggle more academically heading off to class anyway. Kids naturally compare themselves to others, and gifted children are very aware that they're different from their peers. They don't need any extra messages that contradict their expectation of moving forward into school, especially when they're coming from fairly uniform groups.
Do you honestly think that’s how their heads work?
Being gifted doesn't mean you're immune to social or emotional immaturity. Some kids are just struggling, regardless of their IQ. Take my friend, for example. Her little guy was born in April—super bright, advanced, ahead of the curve in every way... but man, he can't seem to shake his mom's side. He deals with these anxieties that my own kid wouldn't even recognize (probably because my kid isn't nearly as much of a prodigy as he is).
Looks like we’re all fighting the same battle. We’ve been told we need to see a specialist or a child psychologist just to get a second opinion. ☕But honestly, I already know what they’ll say—that he’s just being immature, even though his speech issues are staring everyone right in the face... I feel bad if being held back a grade ends up being a bummer for him tomorrow, but I really think this is the lesser of two evils. Whatever hurdles we're facing now, things should hopefully settle down next year. Fingers crossed... 🕺