Larry Lewis said:Yes, that’s exactly what I meant when I used the word "healing"—though, looking back, maybe that was an optimistic choice of words. I decided to cut my dosage in half just to see what would happen—purely out of curiosity, I suppose—and by the fourth or fifth day, things had already gone south. It wasn't even about whether I was actually taking the pills or not; it was more about the temperament... I didn't find myself cursing at the walls or losing my cool like I usually do during those few days, but let me tell you, it certainly wasn't "better."🙂 So, there you have it—the brain is broken, and that’s just the cold, hard reality of the situation. It’s all very simple, really, if you can stomach the simplicity of it—though I suspect most people find the whole thing far too complex to actually face. One's mind malfunctions, the gears grind to a halt, and suddenly you're left staring at the wreckage of your own cognitive processes. It’s a grim business, isn't it? Just... that's it. End of story.😢
I’m sticking to the milligram dosage exactly as my doctor prescribed. Right now, I’ve actually tapered down to about one-fifth of what I was taking when I first started this treatment. Why the drastic change? Well, it turns out you need a massive initial dose just to get the body to actually "accept" the medication—anyone who has navigated this territory knows exactly what I'm talking about. Over the course of two years, I’ve managed to scale down this antipsychotic from 6mg all the way down to 1mg. For the moment, things are holding steady, but if the stability slips, we'll probably have to bump the dosage back up.
How am I supposed to play the nice guy here? Lithium is an incredibly heavy-duty medication. We're talking about serious, intense chemistry. Larry Lewis and I were essentially trying to point out that there’s virtually no chance someone who has experienced psychosis and been prescribed antipsychotics will just magically walk away from them for good and live a perfectly normal life. That would be what you call a total cure. I’m not sure if that makes sense to you now. I think that’s exactly what Larry Lewis meant when he used the term "cured."
fadedlynx96 said:I’ve cycled through several diagnoses over the years, mostly varying forms of psychosis and schizophrenia, specifically hebephrenic and paranoid types. I'm not entirely sure if they even use the term "schizophrenic psychosis" much these days, but that was my last official label. The medication I was on, Lexapro, is essentially the same whether the diagnosis is psychosis or schizophrenia. My primary psychiatrist told me it didn't really matter what the specific label was; the priority was staying on the meds and attending follow-ups to prevent a total relapse. Things gradually improved, and we started tapering my Lexapro dose. However, about a year after being discharged, my blood work came back abnormal, forcing me to stop taking Lexapro entirely. There wasn't an alternative that worked; I tried everything the hospital systems could throw at me, and nothing helped. I kept seeing psychiatrists and going to my appointments, and eventually, things stabilized enough that I didn't need any medication at all. Nowadays, most psychiatrists argue it wasn't actually schizophrenia, though back then the consensus was split between those certain it was schizophrenia and those who viewed it strictly as psychosis. My current diagnosis is bipolar disorder, and I only take lithium. I also have an antipsychotic on hand that I don't actually take, which is intended for emergencies if I feel a lapse coming on, though the logic always escaped me because when you're in a psychotic state, you usually feel perfectly fine and wouldn't realize you need something to bring you back to reality. The bottom line is that no one can accurately pin down what my diagnoses used to be, as I appear completely normal to the outside world. And unfortunately, my sister took her own life; she was the most level-headed person in our family and never had a single diagnosis.
So, what you're saying is you cured your schizophrenia just by switching over to bipolar?
I think it’s about time we finally established once and for all on this thread that schizophrenia is a legitimate physical brain disease. Essentially, the neurotransmitters in the brain aren't functioning the way they should, which then manifests through behavior; however, unlike other medical conditions where you might see visible physical symptoms on the body that anyone can spot with the naked eye, people don't see the internal disruptions in the brain. With schizophrenia, there is no way to actually witness the brain malfunctioning, yet that is precisely what is happening under the surface. Instead of acknowledging that reality, everything gets wrapped up in vague labels like "psychosomatic issues," when in truth, the problems are purely physical in nature.
Larry Lewis said:Honestly? I think you’ve made the smartest, bravest move possible. Just keep moving forward!
I appreciate the support. 🙂
Larry Lewis said:I know plenty of people living with schizophrenia, and honestly—if I’m being completely blunt—not one single person I’ve met has ever truly been cured.
William Evans10 said:Hang in there, honey...😢 I’m reading this and I honestly cannot believe it.😲 What a complete jerk... what a piece of work. Just take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Please don't let him ruin your peace of mind. I know you've been doing so well staying in remission lately, and it would be such a tragedy to let him trigger a setback. I get it, though—it is incredibly hard to keep your cool when someone treats you like this—but honestly? If he ever tries to crawl back, let him go find someone else to bother. He doesn't deserve you, period. Men like that don't deserve forgiveness. I am just so incredibly sorry...😢
Yeah, yeah, now that’s a done deal. 👍 Don't sweat it; I'm holding my own just fine.
Larry Lewis said:And what exactly are you planning to do about it?
He’s been gone for eight days now, so I figured I’d just take it slow... a little bit at a time... it’s not like I’m going to resort to physical force or anything.🤷😉 I must have messed something up... he hasn't been around since January 14th, 2013.👍
He’s been MIA for three days now 🙄🙄🙄, so I finally went ahead and printed out the summons—though why I didn't do that sooner is anyone's guess—and apparently, he’s been cheating on me for three years straight (which he finally admitted) 🙂I'm just trying to hold it together while dealing with a guy who acts like some two-bit abusive thug Honestly, I’m genuinely curious what the people reading this think—you know, the ones who are out there doing the exact same thing, whether it's being unfaithful or just being an absolute jerk... or maybe both 🙂🙂☕
So, I didn't end up getting pummeled over the Christmas break... which means things are actually peaceful. Christmas itself passed by with about five different kinds of cookies—I just couldn't muster the energy to bake more—some French wine, two pine trees, everything looking sharp both inside and out. A post for Christmas Eve. A mountain of food for Christmas Day. I had guests over for five days straight, and they stuck around even after that. We rang in New Year's Day at home with two loyal friends. Since January 1st, I've been diving headfirst back into work like a hungry mule, and naturally, I’ve already hit the clearance sales for clothes and other bits and pieces. I'm thinking about doing some "normal" things now, most likely heading out for a ski trip, and so life carries on. All in all, it was a lovely Christmas because, for the first time in six years, no relatives decided to crash on our couch for several days. Some friends have been complimenting me, saying I'm doing great, and everyone seems to understand that I've taken my husband back and given him another shot. For the first time in a while, reality feels manageable; I don't have much trouble dealing with other people's standards—or rather, I handle them using my own metrics, though that's been the case for a while now so it's mostly just become accepted. I went in for a checkup, and my doctor told me that since the therapy has been adjusted so effectively, the heavy lifting is largely done, and I could theoretically avoid ever being hospitalized again if I put in the effort. It's funny how I can clearly handle actual, tangible problems, yet struggle so much with the ones I've conjured up myself. Anyway, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2013 to us crazies and the rest of the neurotic, mentally healthy population. I use that word "crazy" often because that's how people talk—like saying "he's nuts." I doubt anyone uses terms like "psychotic" in casual conversation; you'd hear "schizophrenic," sure, but not that. I see I've become obsessed with my own subject matter again. 😉
So, my husband is back home. Honestly, I just can't simply walk away from six years of history like it was nothing. Deep down, I really want us to make this work. I’ve seen people suggesting I just ask him about his side of things, but I know there are plenty of you who probably felt differently but didn't say it. At the end of the day, violence is never justifiable, and he claims to realize that now. Currently, I’m focusing on my own recovery, but eventually, we could look into marriage counseling—provided he’s willing to go through it too. He says he wouldn't mind, though he’d prefer using our insurance rather than paying out of pocket. For the time being, we need to figure out how much we can resolve together; actually, everything ultimately comes down to the two of us working through it, alongside his own individual progress. In the legal decision, it wasn't just because I have health struggles—thank Bob for having someone in my corner—but because I told him to come home, thinking I owed him a fair shot. Since he arrived one day ago, things have been surprisingly smooth. He’s trying so hard to talk to me because I’ve had issues with our communication, but I’m making an effort too, though it isn't exactly spontaneous; it takes a conscious, deliberate amount of willpower on my part. Of course, he tells me he loves me and keeps reaching out with hugs and kisses. I know most guys pull that move right after they mess up, so I’m not quite sure why he thinks he’s being uniquely special about it. Statistically speaking, there’s a high probability he might slip up again, and if that happens, I’ll be devastated if I end up having to file for divorce. I married him for love and poured everything I had into making this marriage thrive. When we first met, he was wonderful—gentle, attentive, and someone you would never suspect could ever act like this. Then again, I’m far from perfect myself. So, I decided to give him this chance, but I’m just dreading the moment he snaps again; when it comes to violence, I’m just not interested in a divorce. ☕ Okay, he's settled in 1 day aside from the hope that things will improve, we really need to get into some marriage counseling... and so on ...
The situation is quite straightforward: 1. No one has the right to lay a hand on anyone else. 2. If he felt he couldn't stay married to you for any reason—even if that reason was your illness, because people do divorce due to health issues, much to some people's shock—he should have simply left and filed for divorce rather than becoming a frustrated abuser.
And what about you? Does your condition worsen if you stop taking your medication?🤷
It really only takes me saying one little thing to him before he snaps; otherwise, honestly, ever since I’ve been in a solid, stable remission—which is exactly what my lab results show, and even my doctor expressed surprise about—that’s exactly when this behavior started. It happened right when I started feeling better; in fact, once I began shaving more and started a heavier dose of medication, he actually stayed calm because I’m usually just asleep during those times.🤷 I am incredibly disciplined about following my treatment plan every single day, down to the exact milligram prescribed by my doctor. And of course, people can certainly get divorced because of an illness; why wouldn't they? In many ways, that would probably be the best outcome.
Good evening... So, I realized I haven’t actually mentioned this before, but my current husband is actually my second husband. I went through one divorce previously. I’ve been married to him for six years now. If you looked at my posts here—or even just observed me in person—it was probably pretty obvious that I was acting completely unhinged, though I suppose I don't know what the standard expression for being totally out of it is in your neck of the woods. About two years ago, my dear husband started getting physical with me. My doctor advised me to keep my dirty laundry inside the house, so I didn't say anything to my closest friends, and by some miracle, I didn't bring it up to you all either. The police were called for the first time five months ago, but there weren't any immediate marks; the bruising only showed up the next morning. Well, they were back a week ago, and this time he ended up in jail for domestic violence because I was left with a black eye. The situation is this: I am the one with the mental health diagnosis—schizoaffective disorder—while my husband, who is physically and mentally sound, is the one abusing me. He’s gone for about five days now, and honestly, I have no idea when he’ll be coming home, or if I even want to let him back in. My friends, both close and distant, have told me they wouldn't have had the patience to deal with me nearly as long as he did. Their logic is basically: "Since you're unstable, we couldn't handle you for an hour, yet he managed six years." But... once they heard the full extent of what he’s done... well, let's just say they aren't exactly lining up to take his place. What everyone missed in their judgment was that I am just as tolerant of him as he is of me. I hadn't planned on going through a second divorce, but it looks like I won't have much of a choice. I’m curious to hear what you all think. (And frankly, I’m not even sure if I love him anymore.)
William Evans10 said:Hey... I've been reading your posts... and your husband really ought to be proud of how you handle everything. Seriously, kudos to you! My mother-in-law is also struggling with the same diagnosis... F25... If you wouldn't mind, could you please read my last post? It's a bit more urgent. She has fallen into a deep depression... and I am genuinely scared for her. I want to help her... to pull her out of it somehow, but I just don't know how anymore... Thank you so much, and hang in there.😉
Well, thanks. First things first, though: you need to determine if she’s experiencing hallucinations—maybe she is and is just keeping quiet about it—or if you've already learned how to tell the difference by now. Beyond that, I can't offer much besides suggesting antidepressants. But you have to understand the generational gap here; I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm actually relieved that these newer medications are so much more effective. Your mother-in-law belongs to an older generation. That’s exactly why I wrote that specific part regarding those who are bedridden. You see, the meds leave you with a dry mouth, and the low blood pressure they cause can make you feel lightheaded, but unfortunately, that's just the price of admission. However, since you mentioned she’s still working, it sounds like she hasn't completely lost her footing yet. Look, if the antidepressants don't knock you out, then when you have a moment of free time and aren't feeling totally sedated, you should try to get moving. Why is SHE the one stuck in bed? Maybe she wants to do something, but truly can't 🤷 there are simply too many antidepressant options available 🧐
Sorry if I haven't been posting much lately; my own mental health is a bit better, but it's easy to get sucked into these forums. I need to focus more on real life rather than living on the internet. I hope I was able to help you out. 😉 🎉
edit: given the F25 diagnosis, consider yourself lucky if there aren't hallucinations involved; mood swings are significantly easier to manage, but let's be real—this isn't some common cold you can just shake off... 👋
Just thought I’d chime in... I’ve been scrolling through some older threads about schizophrenia, and it seems like most of those discussions are just people tearing those with the diagnosis apart, whereas here, we actually have people living with it showing up to offer a bit of commentary and solidarity. I have to admit, if I hadn't started this thread, it probably wouldn't be this open or honest. When I first kicked this off, I had no idea how many people would actually stumble upon it; I even tried to write extensively just to catch more eyes and hopefully spark some interest. I’m pretty happy with how the poll turned out. Some of you are actually friends of mine on Facebook 🙂. I spend a lot of time reading what goes on here, and after all this time, it felt only right to finally make an appearance. I thought I could stay on the sidelines, but it feels fair to step in. Even though I’ve been dealing with this illness for a very long time, I’ve stayed with the same doctor and we work together beautifully. Something happened recently that hasn't happened to me before. It’s strange that it took this long. So, I run into my neighbor on the street and try to be friendly, saying, "You look great, is that a new style?" and she just stares straight ahead. We walk all the way to my house without her saying a word—she just kept her eyes fixed forward. I eventually stopped and just watched her; she treated me like I was invisible, as if she had absolutely nothing to say to me. I’m posting this here because it really is bizarre that this didn't happen sooner; it’s only just now occurring to me. I remember being someone who sang the praises of medication to anyone who would listen. That’s still true, but at the end of the day, a pill isn't going to live your life for you; we have to do that ourselves. I say that specifically for those in this group who feel stuck in bed. But hey, everyone has their own struggle. For me, staying active is non-negotiable because I still want to see more of the world. So far, my travels have been limited to Rome—by plane, obviously, don't get any ideas. I was thinking about heading to Egypt, but there’s too much unrest there right now. I'll get there eventually. 😁 I’m rooting for everyone fighting this heavy diagnosis, both for yourselves and for your families and friends. There is truly nothing better than a stable period of remission 🎉😘🙂 ~outoftheblue~
Personally, I found the movie to be excellent, which makes any subsequent sequels feel completely hollow by comparison; what really stands out here is the sheer originality of the concept—it goes far beyond just some recorded footage or random scribbles It’s actually quite compelling watching how Ashton Kutcher tries to set things right, constantly attempting to fix his mistakes until they finally cross paths or miss each other entirely, though if we're being realistic, life usually only teaches you through failure, and even then, you might only manage to correct course after the damage is already done☕
James Smith66 said:Has anyone here living with schizophrenia ever experimented with psychedelics? I've heard rumors that it almost always spirals into a bad trip for people with that diagnosis—is there any truth to that?
I only know one person who fits that description, but honestly, they were just as unstable before they ever touched anything.