Posts by redharbor9

Huh.. why on earth would I give anyone advice?

If someone hits me up with marriage issues, we look at the facts. What’s the actual problem? Where does it stem from? What’s the root cause? How do we fix it, how do we save it, or if it’s over, how do we end it? What does the person actually want? How are they feeling? All that stuff.

Honestly, assuming I have some personal opinion (which I don't) that somehow overrides my work just makes zero sense..

Let's look at a real case.. someone came to me with the exact situation you're describing... at first, everything was heading toward a breakup. That was their main goal, so we went through every single option and method possible.. they worked through it themselves.. we weighed the idea of a second chance—how much sense it made, whether it was even viable, looking at past experiences... all of it and
everything else...

Now, they’re happier than ever. 😍

I'm not going to dictate anyone's options, even if they ask me point-blank.. people make those calls themselves. I just help them put the scattered pieces together or point out the pieces they missed, or the broken ones they need to patch up...

Look, I don't care if they knew or not, it doesn't change a thing for me. 😍 I was just curious and wanted to see what everyone else thought... people have already been hitting me up with this question anyway.

The only answer I give is that it'll probably help me pull more women. 😂

Carl Ruiz4 said:Unless you're actually looking for a boyfriend instead of a therapist,
I fail to see why that would matter or why anyone would feel the need to highlight it to you.... 🤷
I suppose it’s much easier to just ask him out for a drink than to play the role of a patient just to get close to him.

Well, yes,
he'd be far more at risk of having his sexuality exposed if there were homophobes among his supervisors
than any of his actual patients would be.

So, we're correcting our own behavior now? Fine. Let whatever happens, happen. 😍

The reason I even started this thread is because the whole thing happened in reverse 😍

One of my clients recommended me to someone looking for a therapist... and she went out of her way to make sure everyone knew I was gay... then she had the nerve to ask me if it was okay that she said that.😁

I'm guessing the flag is just there to show they're gay-friendly, like they have zero issues with it so the LGBTQ+ crowd feels welcome... that’s probably why those flags (and stickers) were being handed out at that psychology seminar in 🙂

Carl Ruiz4 said:How would you even find out what their orientation is in the first place?

No,
honestly, I don't think it would even matter to me. As long as they're a solid therapist who actually knows how to help, that’s all that counts, right?

But there is something else on my mind—do you think someone could run into issues because of their orientation? Like, being told they aren't "fit" for the profession or some other nonsense?
For me, it would be an issue in my own line of work if people knew I was bi, mostly because I deal with enough judgmental types as it is.
I have to watch everything I do. I actually stopped writing my blog altogether; I'm constantly filtering what I say and how I act, just to stay under the radar.

Hmm... looking back at this now, I realize I sound pretty ridiculous... 🙄

I don't know, man. In my experience, you just tell them someone recommended him as the absolute best person for the job. Tell them he's the go-to expert for this specific issue... and mention that he's gay, too.

Quincy:

I’m wondering about something else—do you think he’d run into issues where people claim he isn't "fit" for the job just because of his orientation?

I don't get this at all.

Quincy:

I'd have a massive problem if people knew I was bi. I’ve got way too many weirdos constantly judging my every move. I also have to watch my step now. I stopped blogging altogether. I’m being careful about what I say and everything. Man... reading this back, I sound like an idiot. 🙄

Yeah... you sound like it. 😍

How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

Michael Doyle62 said:Why such a negative view of psychiatrists?
You think your problems are just going to vanish on their own? 🤷

And what’s a psychiatrist actually gonna do? Just give you a diagnosis and some pills...

Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't seek help if you need it—that's always an option...

Roger Morgan4 said:I am being completely serious when I say you should go find a priest and lay everything out for him. I was reading this book recently called 'How to Recognize the Traps of the Devil' by Don Milivoj Bolobanic—you can probably find a copy at a Barnes & Noble near a major cathedral. Essentially, only about 2% of people who are possessed actually require an exorcism, specifically those rituals mentioned in the previous post. I’ll try to dig up the specific passage where he describes how the devil torments his victims, matching exactly what you described, especially regarding how they are driven toward suicide. It mentioned something about a person losing their mind from the strain; I didn't quite grasp the weight of that before, but after reading your post, it makes perfect sense. Honestly, I think making a general life confession would be a wise move. And please, try to attend Mass on Sunday. This might sound a bit radical, but I truly believe you don't have any other choice. As for seeing psychics, getting "curses" lifted, or any of that nonsense—don't even entertain the thought. You might feel a momentary sense of relief, but in the long run, you'll end up feeling ten times worse. All those fake healers, those folks into the "alternative" scene, the magicians, the mediums... they are all just leading you deeper into the devil's influence. Get to a priest as soon as possible and definitely pick up that book. I should also warn you (as the book points out) that there are plenty of priests who won't take these issues seriously because they aren't well-versed in the subject. Don't give up until you find a priest who actually understands how to help you. Here are some instructions on how to approach a general life confession. But first, find a priest you can trust enough to tell him everything, and he will guide you through the process of a formal confession. I wish you the best. Try to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—that the devil is simply testing you and wants nothing more than to feed your fear. Best regards!
p.s. If you happen to be in the NYC area and are struggling to find a priest, send me a private message.

What a load of crap... A magic ritual isn't any different from a prayer... they're both just tools for manipulating energy, calling out to "higher" entities and asking for help. Everyone picks what works for them...

If you want an alternative way to handle this, check out the book "Psychological self-defense" by Divine fortune... it covers a huge range of occult attacks and how to deal with them... (and yeah, as absurd as it sounds to Christians, God plays a massive role in that approach too)...

And another thing... Before you jump to any occult diagnoses or start blaming the devil, you ALWAYS have to rule out everything else first. That's where you should start...

Dark shadows... You admitted you were terrified of the banging on the first night, and I bet you were scared walking in to check it out, right? When we're spooked like that, our expectations skyrocket and our focus narrows onto whatever we're looking for, so we start seeing things that aren't there... the context of the situation messes with your perception...

For instance, in one massive study of paranormal experiences over in the UK, 836 out of 843 cases were exactly like this... Cognitive schemas—basically the filters our brains use to process info—play a part too. We notice only the details we expect to see, which means we miss the big picture... Expectation alone can make you hallucinate, and experiments show this happens even when people AREN'T alone... back then, there were way fewer "sightings" because having someone else there stopped people from "imagining" things...

What was the weather like? Fluctuations in electromagnetic fields, air ionization, radiation, atmospheric shifts... all that stuff can mess with your perception, cause hallucinations, weird smells... it can trigger physiological or emotional shifts, strange feelings, "cold spots," or sensing a presence... etc.

I won't lecture you all day here... there are plenty of simple explanations that have nothing to do with anything supernatural or dangerous..

That constant fear you're feeling can easily warp your perception and just spiral out of control..

It’s like getting stung by a bee and then becoming terrified of them. Over time, the fear just grows... and in situations like yours, the fear is what's driving your perception...

Then again, maybe it WAS a break-in. I had a break-in once (between 11 AM and 2 PM) where they scattered dirt from my front door all the way to my bedroom... and of course, the doors were locked tight and there wasn't a trace left... the cops just shrugged it off in the end... anything can happen. 🙂

Anyone know where I can snag this?

Probably works 🙂

Aaron Castillo9 said:Bulimia definitely isn't the issue here; she could never bring herself to overeat because the very idea repulses her.
The same goes for vomiting. If she has a standard meal, she’ll just skip eating for a longer stretch afterward to ensure she isn't constantly eating "normally"—which, in this case, means eating full meals.
So, while she might eat a satisfying meal occasionally, she prefers to fast for a bit afterward. She’s fine with salads or fruit, but she avoids bread, pasta, or anything too heavy. She absolutely detests sweets and won't touch them. She also tends to lie to others, claiming she's already eaten.
Because she looks healthy and eats moderately at times, she convinces herself everything is fine. But this is deeply psychological; it's about her relationship with food. It’s made worse when people around her make jokes about her eating or say things like, "Come on, just take a bite like everyone else," or "You're eating too slow, you can't even swallow water." I get why that kills her appetite, but others don't realize they're poking at a serious problem.
I can't label it as anorexia or bulimia, just like I said before.
(Plus, she’s too embarrassed to see a psychologist...)

I'd focus on this part right here. She actually wants help. That's the main thing. Now you just gotta figure out how to make it happen. Go with her. Find someone who's been through it so she sees that seeing a shrink isn't some big taboo or anything weird. Just get her there.

From what I can tell, there’s absolutely nothing explicitly stated anywhere 😉

I’m talking about this specific person, not making some broad generalization that it could be a sign of bulimia🙂

I could even drop 12k on it, but you wouldn't even notice the weight if they're dealing with non-purging bulimia—they usually just burn it all off with insane workouts instead...

Look, when it comes to those "mixed" states, they usually don't last forever because people dealing with bulimia often try to transition into anorexia. It’s like anorexia has a higher status—it's seen as this more advanced stage of the disorder...

And besides, purging isn't even a requirement for a bulimia diagnosis...

A college student? Then she should hit up the campus counseling center. Most big universities have specialists on staff who deal with this exact stuff all the time...

Look, the winning move here is finding that one specific "hook" in her own logic—that tiny part of her that knows deep down things aren't right. Use that to nudge her toward getting help. But remember, you’re the one who actually knows her best... so whatever you do, don't just call her skinny. You gotta be direct about the issue without being preachy. Let her reach the conclusion herself. That's how it sticks.

In her head, everything works differently. It doesn't matter how much everyone around her tries to lay out the facts; she’s going to process and hear it through a completely different lens. Trying to argue with her reality is just a fast track to making things worse...

Bottom line: find an angle that gives you leverage to get her into professional help. Don't get hung up on labeling it "anorexia" or obsessing over weight or body shape. Just follow her lead on what *she* thinks is wrong. Maybe it's her weight, maybe it's self-esteem, or whatever else she's fixated on...

Amanda Stewart7 said:See, there it is. She thinks everything's normal... he can tag along if he wants, but it won't do much good if she isn't willing to cooperate. Honestly, just have him—or you—tell her straight up that being terrified of food isn't exactly "normal." If she could just start there, it wouldn't be such a mess.

That’s another huge mistake right there. Saying "It's not normal to be afraid of food" basically translates to: "Just eat, you're already fat anyway; It's not like you'll lose weight; Being overweight is fine; You're ugly regardless, so who cares if you're heavy..." That's exactly how someone in that headspace hears it.

Aaron Castillo9 said:I agree—it all comes down to her mindset. From an outsider's perspective, she doesn't look ill, even though people constantly tell her she needs to gain weight. She doesn't seem bothered by those comments at all.
She insists she has her weight under control, but living that way seems incredibly taxing. I worry that things could spiral out of control quite suddenly; it’s really just a matter of when.
I was thinking that maybe her boyfriend could eventually convince her to sit down with a professional...

NO!! That is hands down the dumbest move you can make here. In her head, that just sounds like "you're overweight," and it only fuels a warped body image.

What you described is how the downward spiral starts. You need to deal with this right now. Find a way to motivate her to actually seek help. Telling her she's too thin or looks bad basically translates to "you're fat and need to lose weight" to someone in that state. Try... I don't know... maybe suggest it could be parasites, or anemia, or whatever else—it varies from person to person—but NEVER use "you're too thin" as an argument.

How old is she and what does she do? She might be able to skip the GP and go straight to a psychologist if she has the means... obviously, you have to find someone who actually knows what they're doing.

First thing is to tell everyone to shut up about her being skinny. Her perception is totally busted and those comments just make it worse. If she's a minor, you might even have to look into involuntary treatment... showing her what a nasogastric tube looks like sometimes snaps them back to reality so they'll finally talk to a professional. Once that happens, things get easier.

Arthur Martinez7 said:It stands to reason that psychology functions as its own kind of pre-selection process. Initially, you see those individuals who enter the field solely because they harbor certain preconceived notions—thinking it’s all about providing a shoulder to cry on or sitting behind a therapist's couch. 😁

In actual practice, however, the majority of graduates find themselves working within marketing departments at major corporations, market research firms (specializing in consumer psychology), or Human Resources (focusing on organizational psychology and recruitment). Others move into public sector roles such as schools or daycare centers (child and educational psychology), hospitals (clinical psychology and diagnostics), and a specific segment enters the military (for personnel selection and military psychology). A portion remains dedicated to academia—universities and research institutes—while another group finds lucrative opportunities in the private sector at established American companies.

Ultimately, there are plenty of paths to take. By the end of one's studies, internships often open doors to employment, depending entirely on which niche of psychology resonates most with you. But please, do try to forget those Hollywood movies; in reality, only a tiny fraction of practitioners work in that capacity. It isn't exactly a gold mine, and frankly, it requires a significant amount of additional certification and a very strong stomach. 🙏

They don't weed them out 😁
Then, after getting totally burned by reality, they spend years grinding through a "Clinical psychology" course, praying it’ll be even half of what they dreamed about... only to realize it's still nothing. lol..

But hey, that's why there's always p < 0.01

Psychology ISN'T psychotherapy. Like, 90% of people walk into that major totally disappointed.