Gerald Ward61 said:Sometimes the timing is just trash, Arthur, or life just doesn't give you the opening... and if you don't, calling it selfishness is basically just what you're doing right now. 😉
Hmm, I'm not sure I'm totally following you there... I mean, miscommunication feels like a bigger sin to me—everyone’s basically running their own little movie in their head, but there's really only one truth to it. When you actually own up to a mistake, that’s the real apology. It doesn't exactly drive up your "market value," but it makes you a better person, I suppose. There are plenty of examples of that out there. Time eventually sorts itself out. Giving in a little, being flexible... that's kind of the secret to love, anyway. That's how you end up getting the slow hand.
cosmictinker21 said:soul says: ".. I guess people in relationships actually know where the line is drawn..." Unfortunately, most don't even realize they crossed it ages ago. The second you start feeling insecure, uneasy, or living in constant fear of being unwanted or abandoned—or if you feel like your concerns are just dismissed as baseless complaints—that’s the sign that the relationship is fundamentally broken.
So, some idiot asks you about someone you were seeing a year ago. If you don't want to give them a play-by-play (because, honestly, it's none of their business), they decide to go on a private investigation mission to separate fact from fiction. Then, they feed into their own delusions and end up accusing you of lying because you didn't volunteer details about who you slept with... then, in a fit of righteous indignation because you're a "liar," they decide to punish you by giving you the silent treatment for a week. What is there to even say to someone like that? They're just a total loser, and you're done. Permanently.
A lot of people would probably try to de-escalate, explain themselves, or justify this ridiculous behavior as just "jealousy" or "fear of losing you." They’d spend all their energy trying to prove their innocence through logic, waiting around until the offended party finally decides to be merciful and sends a text. It’s such a pathetic cycle. You see right through it; they only love themselves and their own ego. And maybe a few other vultures are just sitting there, waiting for His Majesty to deign to grace them with his presence. And when he finally does, they act like they've won the lottery. God, we really are suckers sometimes... 🤣
How many days would you refuse to talk to him? He sounds exactly like my ex. Here’s a little something for you...
Emericzy said:Maherica, you know I love you, right? If only you were a little bit smarter...
Gerald Ward61 said:Man, soul, just now saw your reply... or post, whatever. Better late than never, right? Keeping this brief so I don't end up bugging you with some endless back-and-forth over the next ten pages... 😉
Speaking of being suspended... one thing is for sure: it's easiest to manipulate someone who trusts you and is hungry for your affection. And you know how that goes with being sidelined... the less they give you, the more you crave it. It's a spiral. Usually, the people they end up with are folks who don't know how to give love at all, so it's just a never-ending loop.
Is there anything wrong with sulking? Depends on the person. For me, sulking gets on my nerves if it's actually about being hurt. I'm not apologizing for sulking, though, because that's just rude behavior and I'm not about that life.
Why apologize? It's always good to apologize when you feel the need to lighten your soul. 😉
I don't know, I feel like you should actually apologize so the other person knows you get it—like, that’s what makes an apology worth anything. Doing it just to make yourself feel better seems kind of selfish, doesn't it... 🙂 Saying "I'm sorry" is probably the hardest part sometimes.
Drew Morgan said:Horrible, what even is this?!? I saw that movie ages ago, but I don't remember any rabbit. She killed their rabbit?!? Disgusting... It’s a tired trope—when you want to inflict the ultimate cruelty, you kill someone's pet 😢
Nee, she shows him herself 😍 ...that's just how love works, I guess. This whole "Fatal Attraction" thing isn't even about her; that poor little rabbit was just an unavoidable warning sign. Blonde women with blue eyes are just dangerous like that.
You really have to listen to your gut. You know everything already, you just need someone to say it out loud—though maybe not when it's super obvious (which is why people watching from the sidelines get so confused, usually). Then again, there are definitely psychological issues triggered by childhood trauma. Sometimes they spiral into full-on manic episodes, but I guess that's more for the "experts" to weigh in on. 🙄
cosmictinker21 said:Ha. Honestly? I'd take losing a pet over having some psycho lurking around my kids, trying to get to me through them.🤷
Yeah, it’s a nice feeling to wake up and realize, "Okay, that was great, but I'm done." It’s a bit more awkward when you wake up and realize you just wasted a chunk of your life and several good evenings on something useless. Of course, there's always a chance to claw your way out of your own stupidity—or someone else's sadism—if enough time passes and you finally see things clearly enough to bail. But if you just keep choosing to suffer... well, there's no helping you at that point.
All those grand declarations about love that people think only exist in their own special little bubble... 🤣they don't really hide the sheer misery of someone being thoroughly crushed by their own delusions and someone else's lack of empathy.
Blindness is basically just a glitch between the limbic system and the frontotemporal cortex. You get so caught up in the emotional rush that you fail to see the relationship is broken. People still struggle to distinguish actual love from just being infatuated. And looking at some of the posts here, the word "love" gets used in such a hazy, dreamlike, overly romanticized way. Fine, let them have it... I just feel bad for them.😢
I've got a feeling you're being a bit too optimistic with all that "expertise" of yours. The bold text there basically screams... well, it sounds like someone talking about things they've read in a book rather than things they've actually lived through. Besides, infatuation *is* love—it's wild how even "professionals" seem to trip over that distinction.
I'm sure you think you know how to navigate these seas of emotion without letting your feelings cloud your judgment... but hey, I can't help but wonder what happens when fractal memory kicks in. Maybe if you got more sleep, you'd start having dreams too 😉 and eventually, everyone gets what's coming to them. 🙂 Time tells all, I guess..
Kenneth Peterson5 said:Look, you can't go mixing up being "in love" with actual love—that’s a huge mistake. Being in love? That's just a massive hormonal glitch in your brain. Real love is more like this steady, balanced state where we somehow choose to see way less than what's right in front of us, even though our eyes are wide open. That’s why everyone says love is blind.
🤣 thanks, little petrel (you know, that bird that skims right above the water)
Love is a "balanced state"... can we get some actual substance here?
And a hormonal glitch? I mean, are the vocal cords really to blame when a war breaks out?
But seriously, where did you end up landing with this one? Infatuation is just another flavor of love—there isn't some magical divide between them.
Plus, you've got it backward again—love is blind to those watching from the outside, but on the inside, it's beautiful. The real question is just who's actually worthy of love.
Sean Cruz said:Of course, provided the person is actually worth it. 🙂
No, that has nothing to do with love. Perhaps I wasn't being clear enough (as usual). You don't dare love everyone, but any form of violence is out of the question. Love is purely about letting go.
I agree.
In medias res ... regarding what love actually is... what was stated above isn't it, which is why I'm writing this, rather than discussing substitutes. I essentially said the same thing you did, just in two lines.
🤣 Well, you should have said so.
There is enough closeness 🙂
I just dislike that phrase and everything people try to cram under its definition. 😉
See, this was always the whole point... 😍
No hard feelings—I'll get my payoff eventually
I don't really like interrupting women—not even when they're being quiet... especially not when they're actually talking. I guess that's just what love is about.
Rebecca Scott3 said:I think love can still exist even if living together is impossible... or even when it's perfectly possible, but one person just doesn't want to go there.....
Yeah, I guess that's pretty much what unconditional love feels like... kind of beautiful, honestly.
Drew Morgan said:No. This is a much more complex mechanism. First off, have you even been following that thread? If not, you have no idea what’s actually going on there. It isn't about love—believe me—it's pure, unadulterated temporary insanity. Go read the thread and see for yourself.
Those women didn't just "dare to love"—they stepped far beyond the boundaries of love, reason, and anything remotely recognizable in a sane universe.
So, the topic is love, right? Or whatever.
I'm not trying to lay down any broad rules here—no generalizations intended—but it really just comes down to those specific moments where you can tell someone is just settling for a cheap substitute for actual love.
Look, you pretty much have to love me back... because, I mean, I definitely love you. either/or Selfishness... honestly, I love it—mostly because it just feels good.
They’re talking about those "complex" mechanisms you mentioned—you know, the ones that sound like they belong in some high-tech Silicon Valley lab rather than just everyday life... I guess.
I was just replying to that thread... Honestly, I feel like most people just love being right—you know, that whole ego trip where we convince ourselves our perspective is the only one that actually matters? It’s kind of toxic, really. When you stop talking and just start assuming you've got it all figured out, even the best relationships can just fall apart. But if you actually try to understand someone—and I mean *really* listen, not just wait for your turn to speak—that’s how you actually build something real. Just a thought, I guess. If you actually love someone—like, truly love them—what happens when that feeling just... leaves? I mean, what's left once the spark is gone and the whole thing just kind of evaporates? It's a weird thought, I guess. Maybe it's just emptiness, or maybe there's some leftover residue of who you were when you were with them. I don't know. It’s one of those things that stays with you, even after the dust settles.
So, what do you actually do when you’re in love—like, really, deeply in love? I mean, is there this internal line you hit where you eventually just... stop? Where you decide that loving someone else has reached its limit and it's time to start choosing yourself again? Maybe. I guess it’s one of those things you don't really realize you're doing until you're already standing on the other side of it.
So, I guess you could say there's this line—like a boundary where your brain finally just hits a wall and says, "Nope, I'm done." But then, right at that exact second, you kind of loop back around and start using that same logic again—you know, telling yourself it doesn't actually matter, that you can handle it, and you just push right through it. You feel me? It’s kind of funny you think those people aren't actually aware of what's going on... I mean, maybe they just don't want to admit the connection between their actions and the consequences—that's a thought. You could probably pull a lot of insights from behaviorism there, but it goes way deeper than just physical reactions. We're talking about the mental side of things too, which leads us straight into the ID—and it isn't just about raw instinct. It's more like... I guess you could say the ultimate drive is actually the hunger for knowledge. It really just comes down to what you’re actually driving—you know, what kind of headspace you're operating from.
@ Rebecca Scott3
It’s kind of beautiful, I guess... the way birds just fade away while they're still singing. 🙂
Vess Vess—it’s not like there’s some temporary madness going on with people who love... I mean, that’s just stuff you tell kids, really. They actually let it happen. .. there are these substitutes for love, I guess. You hear all sorts of stories, and honestly, if anyone actually had the guts to lay everything out on the table, things probably would've ended up differently. I think some of those stories might actually catch you off guard—you just have to be brave enough to love.
silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too... Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬 I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.
To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers. Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish... Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided. It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.
I mean, love is about trust—it isn't blind. It’s more about how much you’re actually willing to risk by letting someone in, I guess. And common sense is definitely in the mix; it’s kind of what keeps you from totally breaking down. Love needs two people, right? You can't have a monologue, whether you're talking or just thinking. ..time.. sometimes all it takes is just one moment, nothing more. And pride... good grief, you should be proud of things that matter, but maybe not when it comes to love.
Laura Evans3 said:By the way, you're starting with a capital letter after a question mark... so:
"How are you a moderator..."
😁
Honey, I don't quite get how someone becomes a moderator—it's kind of weird, honestly—since they just ignore typos and stuff. You definitely deserve a promotion or something... anyway, here I am again, teaching you things. A simple "thanks" wouldn't hurt, I guess. And maybe I'll have to teach Nextdoor a thing or two about the law, since that's kind of my area.
And there you go again, popping up even though nobody actually asked you anything...
What’s your actual problem with using standard American English?
I mean, as a moderator, how can you back something that isn't even legal? To me, that just looks like you're breaking the rules—hope you realize that...
The thing is, you didn't really catch that you're jumping into a thread that wasn't even directed at you, so maybe you could just explain your position here instead..
Hit me up once you move on to the "liter" phase so we can talk about starting a new therapy... though, I mean, you already know—neither approach actually fixes the root cause... neither one does... but at least one feels better initially... personally, I’m leaning toward vodka or Bacardi (honestly, any of those three works fine for me)
In theory, spending money on doctors would probably be a better move than blowing it all on meds... but I think cosmictinker21 might have some actual useful insight.. regarding the medication side of things
Was that Jägermeister a 0.7 or a full liter? I'd say maybe try skipping the xanax—otherwise you might end up dealing with that whole "fear of not waking up" thing...
oh, and yeah—cut back on the Jäger, just two shots and a smile should do it...
quote:
I was on xanax 10 for months and ended up with a nasty dependency. A tolerance built up too, so it started doing more harm than good. I decided to get off it. My doctor put me on Zoloft, and it took me almost a month to taper off the xanax. The withdrawal symptoms were pretty rough, even though I adjusted my doses really slowly to ease out. The withdrawal hit me with body tremors, anxiety, fear, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, dizziness—but I actually made it!!!!!
"Thought is a bird of the open sky—it can stretch its wings within the cage of words, but it can't actually take flight."
Though, I don't know... maybe it’s really about the heart all along. .................................................. .................................................. .................................
.. if you want to clear things up with someone.. you step into a conversation.. and it always feels the same.. by the time you're shaking hands, you've already messed it up.. .. and the result is.. insulting the forum members.. .. so now the forum takes it upon itself to defend Enki on my behalf.. and I suppose that's just.. the social contract.. .. but.. what am I actually gaining from this? .. if I'm hoping to learn something from someone.. then fine, I can take the hit.. .. but if I believe the world is merely an illusion—a facade built on a single lie—then any fear that binds me to that illusion or that lie.. might actually be useful. As long as I accept the bond.. I'll take it at any cost.. because I accept the world at any cost..
.. for me to endure any neighborhood or community.. always and in advance.. there can only be one reason.. a certain kind of fear that I simply cannot bring before myself.. .. a fear that I cannot bring.. before my own judgment..
.. and there isn't a soul who can help me with that.. .. if the world is truly what I think it is.. if I cannot call that world into question.. then I have to embrace my fear..
.. otherwise.. I'm just courting my own death..
someone said a long time ago that when death arrives, you're just gone .. so there's no point being afraid of it; whatever is here is just whoever controls themselves—not others. and yeah, power isn't a god; it fears people, especially when they stand together
@ Scott Wright92 🙂 (you'll get those points from alim, and there are plenty to go around)
I mean, culture—and everything that comes with being a civilized person—really flows from one individual... if they can actually spark something in everyone else. It's like how Peter the Great or Frederick had influence, or even how Alexander had Aristotle guiding him. You get what I'm trying to say?
It’s about disagreement with logic, or just plain missing the point. But since I pretty much view you as a mentor here, my experience tells me there's a real issue with direction—it feels like things are losing control.
Honestly, I don't care about her words or her little habit of calling people "writers"—which she also used to call me a pig-butcher and an idiot. I'm more interested in her mental state... specifically how she tries to push her perceptions as absolute truth, even though she keeps getting caught in lies and ignorance.
Did she actually ask what culture is, or was that just more vague rambling? Because as soon as I gave her an honest answer, you immediately drew your sword... but why? A pen is mightier than a sword, something you probably know better than anyone.
I was addressing her as the one who started the question, not critiquing her commentary. Besides, I wrote my response to everyone in the thread... so where did this idea come from that it was just aimed at her? Yeah, I know. Truth hurts, especially when it involves realizing she didn't have the capacity to grasp the basics. The only way I find her interesting is from a "professional" standpoint. I have zero interest in her personally...
It’s pretty obvious even here... I'm not the only one who noticed "someone" has started acting all high and mighty... though we already knew who was behind it.
I laid out my arguments. It's your right to delete them, sure, but if I'm pointing out that you're wrong—that you're trying to protect someone causing problems under the guise of being altruistic—is that really the solution? It's not my place to ask, really, but I genuinely want her to do well... again, that's your call, but... rights come with responsibilities, and it's just decent to listen to both sides. Time will tell. And for her, time ran out a long time ago, because nobody understands her anymore... she just keeps repeating the same stuff over and over.
I'm not saying it's just my opinion that she's being uncivilized; it's a visible fact. This isn't just alienation for her anymore; it's become part of who she is. That's her right, and I doubt she'll change, which I'm fine with... but since she claims to be a keeper of knowledge—constantly mentioning how much she reads while humbly claiming she just agrees with everything she reads, which says plenty about her cognitive skills—and acts as a sort of moderator, I have to wonder if this is good for her. It might be smarter if she just stepped down. She needs a break, then maybe she can come back stronger. Right now, she's become a Quasimodo spirituality. So, I'm offering an olive branch, not a wave of the hand.
Like Jesenjin so beautifully put it... "a parting without our will promises a reunion, doesn't it?"
Just so we're clear, it's not like I "dislike" you. Thanks for your time... but seriously, read back what you wrote. Someone is still hiding in the woods.
Thanks—you even threw in some arugula... at least you're actually reading, assuming this isn't just some weird case of self-loathing but hey, I really hope they get back to you, because real people should probably own up to what they say. Hopefully, you'll get an answer before the reaper comes knocking.
First off, thanks for the quick reply and for taking the time out of your day, I guess, but after reading it, it feels like you didn't actually intend to say anything useful—just kind of aimed to dismiss my post and take a cheap shot at me.
So, yeah, it would be pretty cool if you could just answer the actual question. Plus, your tone is incredibly sarcastic, which seems to fly right in the face of what the admins recommended, and honestly, it just feels like you're trying to belittle me.
And that suggestion of mine to send her to DMs? Why?
I don't see the point, really. I doubt she’d be interested in talking to me professionally anyway, since pathology and forensics are my field—aside from construction, obviously. Given how your protégé keeps complaining that nobody understands her—from what I can tell by the threads, anyone with half a brain could figure out she already knows what she’s talking about. It's just pure ego, I suppose.
It’s pretty obvious you’re playing the Good Samaritan here, acting all high and mighty, but I should probably remind you:
"Helping the poor just to embarrass them."
A blade has two edges, and I noticed I'm not the only one asking questions that test her comprehension... I wish her the best, truly; hopefully she finds her way, if not wisdom, then at least some luck.
Whether this whole thing is serious or just her being ridiculous by failing to grasp the saying:
here are the facts:
quoting her:
"If they have no bread, let them eat cake"
her response was basically—well, that back then, they were baking cakes at the same price. 🙄
Florence said:It's super obvious you're just being biased, especially with the whole "eat cake" thing. Did you even know that back in the day, bakers in New York were legally required to sell cakes at the price of bread during shortages? Probably not, because if you did, your perspective wouldn't be so narrow.
The fact that people didn't have money isn't the point, right?
And here’s a little more "culture" from Florence:
"Josef Fritzl didn't commit a crime"
Florence said:He's definitely just an unfortunate man built on shaky foundations. Unhappy people can't spread happiness...
Well, Fritzl got sentenced—to life in a mental facility. Do you even realize what that means? Personally, I think that's way worse than the death penalty.
It seems to me we've known each other long enough for you both to jump to conclusions immediately, and it's pretty clear you're both just clashing because of some sort of vendetta and condescension.
Why does that premise matter?
As for your claim that I'm experiencing some kind of fixation or projection... no, that's just not true. What we're seeing is just a lack of understanding and basic knowledge from your starter, combined with inhibitions against rational thought, an inability to handle different viewpoints, and just total dadaism.
There's more:
Look, I’ve always been an animal lover—really, I can't stand seeing them disrespected—and honestly, it seems like people are missing the point about what "culture" actually means. It's something you're supposed to find within yourself, which was kind of the whole idea behind the question.
Sorry, but that's just how it is. It rubbed me the wrong way seeing her make those kinds of comparisons, whether they're accurate or not.
quote omitted due to inappropriate content
I guess I'll just prove my point over at the philosophy department, since it feels pretty out of line to act all condescending and arrogant here.
Nothing personal, really. I wasn't trying to take shots at such a harmonious trio, but maybe it's time we look at who's actually steering the ship in the humanities... I mean, even from a plane, it's pretty obvious when a tree isn't bearing any fruit.
hinc illae lacrimae
Thanks for your time, ma'am—consider this a polite little bow.