Hey there, sorry to bother you all with this request.
I didn't really pay much attention to my English grammar when I first signed up. If it’s even possible, I’d love it if someone could help me out with one thing. I'm looking to change my nickname to Mark Nelson.
Regarding that whole issue Mark Nelson brought up (love that nickname, by the way 🙂 ), I’ve been thinking about how much weight we put on certain phrases. Is there really a difference between saying, "I am responsible for my mental torment" versus "My condition/illness is causing this mental torment"? With the first one, it feels like the blame is pinned squarely on us. But honestly, what are we supposed to do with things we don't even understand? How can we know why they happen, how they work, or even what they're called until someone finally drops a formal diagnosis on us? I mean, how are you supposed to install central heating in a house if you don't even know where you're allowed to drill holes? The second sentence kind of gives you some breathing room 😉 Like, okay, my condition is the problem, but I'm still ME—an individual who can build up some energy and awareness to actually work on fixing this, obviously with help...
@ Mark Nelson... I'm pretty sure that everything you mentioned (the procrastination, the indecision, the constant dissatisfaction) is just part of a much bigger picture, something that was completely out of your control... so I guess that's my answer to your initial question
But you *do* have control over what you do next. Specifically, how you choose to label it. You can admit that this "something" is outside your control and that it isn't working for you, then go find support... or you can just keep living in this "mental torment" where you already know something is broken and you aren't functioning right
Man, I don't know the full story since I'm new to this forum, but there it is... just take whatever parts make sense to you 😉
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I know. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and I'm on medication. So, from that angle, I've definitely sought out support. 😁 And I've got my family behind me, too. That "bigger picture" stuff is really just a pileup of negative events, both external and internal. For the external stuff, I used to think I had some sort of built-in defense mechanism, so nothing from the outside really touched me. What really eats at me is the fact that I couldn't reach self-actualization in certain areas of my life the way I wanted to. And the worst part is knowing I didn't do anything about it, even though I felt like I actually could.
I guess it all comes down to the individual, but even if someone with mental health struggles bears some responsibility for where they ended up, I don't think you can pin the whole thing on them. It’s usually just a messy web of circumstances that pulls you under.
As for me, personally? I’m pretty much to blame for the absolute psychological wreckage I’ve dealt with. I can't really go around pointing fingers at other people for my own mess. I spent so much time procrastinating, constantly hating my own skin, while telling myself I could just fix everything whenever I felt like it. The truth is, I probably could have changed a lot, but laziness and indecision always seemed to trip me up. I didn't put in the work, and that lack of effort—combined with all that self-loathing—really cost me.
How much weight gain are we actually talking about with antipsychotics? I'm specifically asking about Lennon. I’ve been on it for maybe 8 or 9 days now, and honestly, I don't think I've put on any weight—at least not noticeably. But then again, I don't really weigh myself regularly, so I have no clue what my starting weight even was. If I stop taking it (which I assume will happen since my doctor will probably switch me to something else), is there any chance that the previous time spent on Lennon could still trigger weight gain? Like, does the effect of the drug on your weight linger even after you quit? I guess I'm wondering about Lennon specifically, but also just in general.
