Posts by Ethan Reyes2

Robert Grant84 said:The parents have reached an agreement to stop the fight, deciding against any more chemo or radiation since there’s really no chance for a cure now—maybe they’ll hold on for a few weeks or perhaps a month, though even that feels uncertain... 🙂
There wasn't any advice offered regarding some kind of Hail Mary attempt that might actually work as a miracle.

It's such a heavy decision.
I'm truly sorry.

Kate Morgan66 said:thank you...
I actually intended to post something here sooner, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, honestly; I haven't been able to wrap my head around the reality of watching my mom slip away 😢 ...

Oh, dear Kate..
I find myself stuck in this same impossible headspace, unable to accept that there's nothing more we can do for my mother, and that all the two of us can really do is sit here and wait for the end to come.
It makes me wonder what kind of advanced society we've actually built, when a person is left to suffer through such intense pain, essentially being left to languish indefinitely without relief? It’s just so difficult to process.

But... I really don't want to dwell on it here.

shadowwolf99 said:I’m over here trying to give away Prosure for free, and yet, total silence... you’d think with so many people battling serious illnesses, someone would reach out...
as if I were actually trying to charge for it or something... 😢

It's likely that the person who actually needs the Prosure just hasn't stumbled upon your post yet🙂
but someone will eventually turn up..

zlatice and Kate Morgan66, please accept my condolences😢

I actually sat down and wrote this massive, mile-long post, but I just can't bring myself to hit send on it here yet.
I'll probably be 😢

Anyway, hang in there, everyone.🙂

It just crossed my mind that back when my mom was first being admitted to the hospital—right when everyone was talking about her upcoming surgery—one of my cousins just started breaking down, sobbing right there in front of her about how cruel life is and how everything can just end so abruptly when you least expect it 😲 😠 🙂
I honestly have no idea what she was thinking at the time.

Hey Susan Hayes25 🙂

Today is just the complete polar opposite 🙂 I feel like a totally different person altogether...

And honestly, I get where you're coming from regarding those vague, nonsensical conversations and all those questions that seem to mostly stem from family members 🙄 It’s happened to me so many times that I’ve felt like I was about to lose my mind 😠 Just thinking back on some of the mindless outbursts and comments from certain relatives—it actually makes my stomach turn with pure frustration and irritation.
From almost being pressured into following some "guru" who wanted us to hand over $20,000 for some supposed miracle water, to getting told it would be better if I just stayed home with Mom instead of going to work 😕 (just as a quick reminder, I’m currently the only one bringing any money into this house)

I was actually only home with her for a very short window after she got out of the hospital. I was already back at my job after just a couple of weeks.

She’s nearly independent now. She eats well, takes walks around the neighborhood a few times a day, and while she can't carry anything heavy, she goes down to the local corner store to grab bread in the morning, cooks for herself, and even went to see the hair stylist 🙂..... her friends and neighbors drop by quite often. She watches TV, reads, tends to her plants....
I’ve been pushing her to stay active, and I’m really starting to notice that she’s become stronger and more full of life compared to how things looked both before and immediately after the surgery.
She lost a significant amount of weight, but I can tell by the way she moves and carries herself that she’s found her spark again 😍
I won't let her just sit around and relax 😬 I make sure she stays on top of her illness—making sure she has all her referrals, prescriptions, and lab orders organized, and keeping track of her therapy appointments. It's basically like, "Just tell me what you need and I'll go get it, but you need to make sure everything is handled on time."... In the same vein, she’s completely overhauled her diet. Actually, she doesn't even have the spare time to dwell on negative thoughts 🙂
And so on..

Your situation is entirely different, so it makes sense why you can't apply that same approach to your own mom.
But, you're also aware that, say, you're being a bit hard on your dad... maybe you could try not making his life so complicated with that whole career thing..😉

brisksurfer said:This might sound a bit harsh to some, but I find myself crying because my dad has fallen ill... when I think back to all the suffering at the end, I knew deep down that I just had to let him go...

It all sounds perfectly reasonable to me, honestly. Sometimes, just white-knuckling your way through sheer agony doesn't make any sense at all, does it? I imagine that a person might find themselves caught in this strange, simultaneous headspace—feeling an immense weight of sadness, yet experiencing a quiet sense of relief all at once.
As a patient, you eventually reach that point where you just feel it deep down—that moment when you realize you can't push through anymore and all you really want is some peace.

I only really let the tears fall on that very last day, when I saw my dad looking so motionless. I like to think he could hear me, because I saw his eyes welling up too, but I just couldn't hold it back anymore. I kept telling him not to be sad, trying to convince him that everything would eventually turn out exactly the way it’s meant to be, but honestly, if I hadn't let myself cry, I think my heart would have just split right in two. 😢

And dear Ivy. 🙂
Your dad probably broke down because seeing you in tears just hit him too hard. It’s likely he was just caught up in that deep, quiet worry for you, more than anything else. 🙂

Sending my best wishes and some good vibes to your mom. 😘

Sure thing. 🙂
I’ll be the one keeping them on their feet. 😁

@Susan Hayes25/">@@Susan Hayes25
I guess I’ll tell you how things are playing out in my neck of the woods... my mom just has me, so there haven't been many different variables to juggle.
I don't really have a choice—I have to work. We were actually quite lucky that Mom and I managed to coordinate our schedules around her treatment sessions. For now... I'm just hoping things continue to run this smoothly.

Right now, you are essentially the pillar that your mom is leaning on. When you're dealing with an illness where life feels like it's hanging by a thread every single day, it changes a person; it turns them into a frightened child. And yet, you want to believe there's a cure, that you're actually moving toward recovery.
I managed to convince my mom that she can get through this, regardless of how much she might struggle along the way.
When I look at her, I see that for her, there is only one option: getting fully healthy again.

The only way you'll be able to pull your mom out of that intense fear and depression is if you position yourself as her "positive anchor." 😁
So, as much as you work to help her, you always have to prioritize working on yourself first, just so you don't crumble and sink into those depths of resignation, depression, and negativity.

Interestingly enough, a terrible situation at my job actually helped me pivot my thoughts toward something else, rather than just obsessing over how sick Mom is and how we're going to survive it all. At work, I'm surrounded by people who spend the entire day debating—get this—work 😁, furniture, where they went, what they ate... just the usual mundane chatter of normal life, and most of the time, that helps me keep from drowning in misery and despair. I even joined a gym (which is totally contrary to my actual personality 😬), but even that helps me distance myself from reality for a bit.

Of course, there are days when the whole world feels like it won't let you in, and you just can't shake off the psychosis that comes with this illness.
Today is one of those days for me. A day where everything feels profoundly unfair, where I just hate the entire situation and feel like I want to jump right out of my own skin.
A friend of mine is posting about how they're getting married soon, everyone is celebrating, the sun is shining outside, everything is green and fragrant, and meanwhile—I just feel terrible. After work, I go to pick up Mom, who's been in for chemo and radiation. I see all those other people who were also in for treatment, and I feel so 😢 in that hospital basement; they all look like the walking dead.
I feel strange the whole way home, but of course, I don't show Mom how I'm feeling. She's doing okay, she talks about how the appointment went, we get home and everything seems fine. She goes to watch her favorite show, and I head straight to the gym to blow off steam on the weights. And then, the system just completely breaks down. I can't even move my arms. I just sit there like an idiot for a while, feeling this overwhelming weakness, before finally dragging myself home.
Then I read that brisksurfer's father passed away and I break down like a fool.

But not in front of Mom.

What I mean is, having bad days every once in a while is normal. We aren't made of stone, after all, so we're going to feel things, but you really need to find ways to occupy your mind.
Just try not to surrender to the dark thoughts and the depression. Neither you nor your mother will benefit from that.

I suppose I rambled a bit too much, but please understand, it's just one of those days. 🙂

brisksurfer, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.🙂
It really feels like you did absolutely everything within your power, didn't you? You were there for your dad through so much, making things easier for him more times than anyone could probably count.

rustyowl4 said:hmm... I actually built up those muscles back when I first started playing soccer on those turf fields in my cleats.

My issue is that exact same Flexport longus muscle... that specific area is incredibly thin compared to my calf, which isn't.
I suppose I don't really have any other choice—I'll just have to go grab some cleats and start playing soccer again. 😁

Angela Wright said:Anyone who actually takes the time to read the New York Post knows it's out there.😉
There's a banner on the Spark website mentioning psychological support.

😁
I caught that section on the Spark site myself, though I was under the impression it was specifically intended for parents dealing with children facing serious illnesses.🤷

My mom got a call today from a friend she met while they were both recovering in the hospital together.
The woman had been battling colon cancer, going through all the rounds of chemo and radiation... and well...
It seems like her older daughter just completely snapped under the pressure of it all. She’s totally withdrawn now, won't talk to anyone, and is actively avoiding both her younger sister and her mother.
Does anyone know if there’s an actual organization or maybe a counseling center out there that offers psychological support specifically for families dealing with someone facing a cancer diagnosis? Aside from this PDF and the forums run by Zane, of course.. 🙂

brisksurfer, I’m honestly just feeling so incredibly relieved about this recent bit of good news 🙂
just try to hang in there and stay steady 🙂

brisksurfer said:I actually called the ER this morning because he hadn't eaten or even had a sip of water all day, but they basically brushed me off and just said I could give him a pain injection and then leave him alone, which was so frustrating, and then they had the nerve to tell me he won't die from dehydration, but rather from the cancer.

How can people just be so heartless?😢😢

Luckily, our primary care physician was absolutely wonderful and arranged for someone from a local clinic to come by and set my dad up with an IV. 😍😍😍 He got some saline and 5% glucose, which seemed to give him a little bit of strength back, and honestly, I feel so much better knowing he isn't suffering from thirst. They’ll be coming by every day for the infusion, so hopefully, that helps him recover a bit; though ideally, he really needs two sessions a day, so we’re going to try to figure out a way to have them leave the catheter in so we can just hook up the next one ourselves.

Then the doctor finally came over to check his lungs... she mentioned there’s quite a bit of congestion in there, but considering how much he was coughing up yesterday, I suppose that's actually a step in the right direction.

You handled that really well.
I truly believe the IV will help your dad get back on his feet.
And you really have to hand it to your doctor.
It’s such a relief when you run into good people; my own family doctor is a fantastic woman and clinician, and my mom's oncologist was an absolute lifesaver too—she really fights for every single patient, going far beyond what her job description even requires.🙏

I've just been lying here by his side all day, praying that he starts to pull himself together a little.

@taylorswift13: thank you for the support... honestly, it's exactly what I need most right now.😘

Don't mention it.🙂 We're all here to lean on one another.😍
No one is ever truly alone in this fight, no matter how isolated it might feel sometimes (I know I certainly feel that way quite often 😬). There are so many people out there fighting for healing.

brisksurfer said:I just want to find some way to ease his suffering... does anyone have any advice at all?

Please... I'm feeling pretty desperate here. 😢((((

Oh, Ivy, honey, 🙂

Have you thought about checking in on Zanovidan? You might actually get some more informed perspectives over there than what we can offer here...

@dustyrider9/">@@dustyrider9
My mom started having these nosebleeds, which seemed fine at first, but then things just started feeling a bit off after a few days passed

you know how it is, Maria Lee54...
it’s perfectly normal to have days where everything just feels off, after all, we aren't robots, right? 🙂

the real trick is remembering that the good days far outnumber these occasional rough patches 😉
besides, they’ve already got the Sun calling for a comeback starting Wednesday 🙂

Angela Wright said:If my mom could have just had a few more years, maybe she would have seen my wedding or met my first grandchild. That was really all she lived for.

I’ve been wanting to add something to this for a while now...

When I first found out Mom was sick, my very first thought—if I were to ever have children—was that they wouldn't get the chance to know her.🙂 🙂

If someone had told me back then that she might hang on for another five years, I wouldn't have hesitated for a second; honestly, even if they promised three, I would have taken it. Anything is better than nothing at all, right?

I remember leaving the hospital just before she went in for surgery, and I found myself praying to God, asking Him to just let her live long enough to see her grandkids...

because, well... she’d actually have to live quite a long time to see those grandchildren grow up, wouldn't she?😁

feralridge3 said:I don't really recall that guy. 😢
I assume he was dealing with a GBM. It always leaves me feeling a bit heavy in the chest when I read about someone losing their fight against a brain tumor, regardless of the specific diagnosis. 😢
I can't help but wonder when my own turn comes, if that makes sense? I know dwelling on it isn't exactly the healthiest way to live, but whenever I see or hear news that most people just don't make it through, I find myself sinking a little deeper into that quiet, heavy sort of melancholy. 😢

🙂

I just saw the news that Tom Vrban passed away..
It’s not that I was deeply immersed in his life or his work, but I find myself constantly shaken by the news of someone passing from cancer, especially when they seemed to be making such genuine progress toward recovery😢