Posts by bluewalker33

I read somewhere that they don't even dream

It’s all twisted and backwards. People say a picture is worth a thousand words, and that’s exactly where they get stuck in these abstract loops... Gestures and imagery can hit hard enough to trigger that kind of thinking. Hearing people might lean into visuals, but those who can't hear are on a whole different level since our eyes have to do all the heavy lifting for what we're missing.

I’ve never actually failed a class before (though hey, anything can happen), but if I ever did, there’s no way I’d let anyone know. Not even my own people. They’d just end up gossiping about it at some family dinner, and honestly, for someone with my pride, that would be a total nightmare... So I’d probably just lie and tell everyone that all the credits are maxed out and there’s no room left in my schedule just to get out of it. 🙂

People here can be so weirdly judgmental, which is why I’d definitely play dumb about failing if it ever came down to it. But since I haven't, I'll just say it straight: I passed, because I always pass. It's not like I have a choice—I'm paying for this myself, and I'm not about to flush that money down the drain. Besides, my university is easily one of the most expensive schools in Canada (in Ontario, tuition is getting out of hand right now).

I talk to them normally, though I'll shout "WHAT?" once in a while and get the usual look... But the real issue is the audio on the TV when some American movie is playing. It sounds nasty and I can't always make out what they're saying.

Tech has come a long way with these digital tones, but even then, it’s never quite sounded natural. Still, technology keeps moving forward, so there's hope. Honestly, sometimes I'll just pull my hair back in a ponytail at school and hope someone notices the hearing aids... or maybe I'll just tell them myself that I can't hear and ask them to speak up a bit...

Yeah, I know exactly how it feels... That’s why we tend to be a bit more on edge than most people; that ringing in your ears isn't exactly a pleasant soundtrack to live with. I don't wear hearing aids at home, I just lip-read my family, and if I miss something, I just let it slide... Nothing's ever that urgent anyway.

As for guys, you really have to sit them down and have a real, deep conversation to explain what it's actually like living with this. Some of them end up loving you even more because of it, while others just run for the hills out of fear 🙂.

I've never been super open about it—not really. You have to be blunt and tell them exactly how it affects you... But maybe next time when I meet someone new. Actually, I met a guy today and we're grabbing coffee tomorrow; he's about eight years younger than me, so I doubt we'll get serious... But who knows what's going to happen. At least I won't be bored during summer break with him around. He's new in town and hasn't met many people yet.

I totally get you... Haven't lived in the States for a long time. Growing up, my neighborhood was great and everyone loved me, but elementary school was a different story. Kids could be real jerks, and I dealt with bullying pretty much constantly.

By high school, I’d grown into a cute girl, so guys started hitting on me. It actually confused some of them, considering how much I went through back in grade school. The funniest part was when I started dating—it wasn't my first boyfriend, obviously—and this one guy from elementary school who used to give me such a hard time actually acted surprised. He kept questioning my relationship, acting all jealous once he realized he'd actually grown into a decent-looking guy himself, even though he still wasn't exactly my type.

Now I'm living in Canada, and there's way less discrimination against people with disabilities. People don't really stare if you aren't dressed to the nines. There isn't nearly as much stigma as you find back home, though it still exists. And even the small amount of stigma here feels like too much sometimes, but after visiting Canada after ten years, I was honestly shocked by how much worse things are over there.

It's tough carrying this handicap most days. Sometimes I just have this intense craving to hear things more clearly. When you only have what's left of your hearing, you know what it's like to actually enjoy a favorite song. But I still wish I had better hearing—to hear natural tones without a hearing aid, or to catch every single word in an American drama... but yeah. Since our disability is invisible, people don't always get it because you can't see it, but it affects us maybe even more than those around us, just because we crave that perfect, natural sound.

Some people around here claim to be "proud" of their disability, but I'll put it this way: I'm proud of who I am and everything I've managed to achieve so far. I can say I'm proud of navigating this obstacle, but if I'm being honest, I'd much rather be proud of having better hearing...

It really just comes down to having enough grit to prove people wrong... You’d be surprised how many cowards out there have zero drive or backbone, yet they still think they have a say in what you do. Those internal flaws people carry? They're way bigger roadblocks to success than anything else...

You'll run into discrimination here and there, sure, but if your willpower is solid, you can push past it. It’s weird how some things just click for us while others feel impossible—that's where our intuition and strength come from. It’s even harder to wrap your head around the quiet ones who just grind through obstacles without making a scene. Some of them actually make it in life despite the odds. But honestly, it’s all about heart. If your soul is alive, it hears everything...

Regarding your mom, I get it—people can be pretty toxic—but that’s still not the best way to handle things when it comes to her daughter. My own mom isn't exactly the cheerleader type; the second I hit a minor setback, she starts doubting if I'll even make it through... But now that I'm getting close to the finish line, I'm starting to believe I'll actually pull through my fourth year of college, even if it's been a hell of a struggle.

Yeah, I get it. Everything gets so much more stigmatized back home.

The laws here basically protect anything that could be seen as being minimized, so you have to be careful.

It’s tough enough as it is, especially when people just don't get it—it would be way worse. Like, I went to visit my family over in the Midwest recently and wanted to hit up this shop a bit further out, but my aunt goes, "Why are you going out alone? You'll get carjacked." And I'm like, man... if I said that in Canada, I'd probably be reported for discrimination even though she was just looking out for me. But here, I'm cruising on six-lane highways behind the wheel of a car. They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that I actually drive. It's like they don't even believe I graduated college. Honestly, things can be pretty backward there; it’s a beautiful place, but the prejudice is real. Just gotta stay strong and fight it. America is definitely more modern, so it's easier to push back against that stuff. This whole thing happened while I was visiting the Midwest.

not sure how things work back home, but over here they can't just turn you away from a PhD program... discrimination is strictly against the law

Andrew Garcia2, in America, even someone who can't hear a thing can walk away with a Master's, maybe even a PhD, provided you actually have the brains and the damn WILL to do it...

I’m hard of hearing myself, bordering on deaf, though I don't need an implant yet since hearing aids still do the trick. I just finished my third year of college with one more to go, and honestly, my grades are solid—this last semester was just a grind, so I'm low-key worried about failing a class. Results won't be out until June 4th.

I mentioned that girl earlier—the one who went completely deaf. She’s become this incredible manipulator, which is wild. But it’s mostly just her dealing with the frustration because she could hear fine until suddenly losing it all after surgery. It was a massive shock to the system. She didn't grow up with it. Still, she’s pulling great grades and already landed a job with the Canadian government because she started hunting early... she'll head straight into work after school.

It honestly surprises me that you went with such a basic handle... I was actually shocked nobody snatched it up before me since it's just so plain and unoriginal 🙂

I can't even wrap my head around this question because I hear way too much. I’d have to be completely deaf to understand how they process all of this or how they keep it all straight in their heads. No matter how you look at it, they see images instead of letters—it's about grasping the core concept. They don't need voices to interpret every single symbol

People who are deaf rely on visuals, so they can pick up anything. Honestly, I think they learn way more than blind people do because sight is such a bigger loss; at least those who are deaf can still see letters, so you can make up for the communication gap...

There’s this girl in my college class who lost her hearing after surgery, and it even left her face pretty disfigured. She avoids everyone because she knows how people act, and she's ashamed of everything that happened. But man, she manipulates people mentally even though she’s deaf. If you knew the kind of games she plays using her handicap, you'd be shocked. Me? I haven't been able to hear much since I was a kid, but I'm not so far gone that I can't communicate with hearing people normally.

So, there was this friend in my class who can hear perfectly, and we always study and do everything together. This other girl, who is totally deaf, just couldn't handle the jealousy, so she started playing mind games. She refused to grab coffee with me or anything—not that I cared about her physical changes or being deaf, I never rejected her. But she was the one who isolated herself, constantly acting like the victim so she could tell the professor that *I* was the one avoiding *her*. She’s obsessed with being the top of the class and outperforming me, just searching for some kind of comfort because of everything she went through.

Look, I get it. She used to be beautiful, she could hear, and she already had a degree in Psychology that’s basically useless to her now, so she’s back in school studying Public Administration... I understand that such a massive life shift is a total shock, but she really needs to see a therapist. You don't just "get used" to losing your hearing and having facial scarring overnight; it's too hard to accept. Even though her grades are good, she's clearly mentally broken if she feels the need to compete with us over every single point. The worst part was when my group of six was working on a project; she insisted on working alone, so the professor gave her some random assignment that barely even related to the subject. Then, once my group finally finished our heavy lifting and one of us presented, she went and wrote that it wasn't actually that good. Is that normal, people? She has no clue how much work we put into that group project. Seriously, I'm speechless. She needs professional help. I've seen her sitting at her desk with her head down, looking completely crushed. Her family was there for her during the surgery, but after she lost her hearing and her face changed, they mostly drifted away. They aren't that strong of a support system anymore, which makes it worse. But man, therapists exist for a reason. Even though she studied this stuff back when she was healthy, she can't fix herself. She thinks killing herself for better grades and tearing down our work is the right move, instead of just being a friend or supporting me since I hang out with both hearing and deaf people. It's just pathetic...

they’re basically synonyms, since when a Man... was thinking about it in that context, he already meant
...

Look, you've got those narcissistic young women who think they’re the center of the universe and act all tough, but I'm talking about people attacking out of nowhere without any actual logic or advice... Then again, some callouts are earned, even if you really shouldn't engage at all. Just stay away from anyone who seems shady, unproven, or just a narcissist who thinks you're attacking them out of jealousy. I've seen it happen myself...

Jerry Martinez5, this place works because the mods actually keep things tight and scrub the petty arguments. Sometimes they even let things slide without docking points if someone just owns up to their mistake—unlike those chaotic little corner forums where anything goes. That’s exactly why those places are such a mess. This site stays civilized because there's actual oversight, and honestly, that’s how it should be. Someone decided to take my pretty mild headline and turn it into something aggressive for some reason... 🙂

I've been watching this weird pattern pop up on various message boards over the years, especially those smaller communities where people act like they actually know each other in real life... It’s this specific phenomenon where older women get incredibly jealous of younger ones. They start hurling insults like "clueless" or "airheads" just because the younger girls are more naive—which doesn't mean they aren't smart, most are just college students. You rarely see this in the real world because people don't have the guts to say that stuff to someone's face unless there's an actual argument involved.

The absolute worst version of this is when women who haven't posted in ages suddenly resurface just to lash out at a younger woman for no reason at all. Then they act totally shocked when someone reacts, and if the target is sensitive, it just turns into a massive flame war. Usually, these are women who think they're "intellectuals," but honestly, acting like this just proves how petty and insecure they really are.

Have you guys run into this on forums? And what should younger girls do when they're targeted, especially since this is all happening in some virtual space that shouldn't even matter compared to real-life problems? Does this specific trend even have a name? We should probably name this recurring Democratic Party trend, since it's basically non-existent in reality, but thrives among online cowards...

So, is it better to just walk away and ignore it when someone starts calling you names? Is being indifferent the best move, even when a whole pack of older women decides to gang up on one person?

I just hope that as I get older, I never sink to that level of attacking young students online. I truly hope so, because I’d hate to be called an old hag, though I guess I’d be asking for it if I were the one doing the attacking. It's just the natural order of things—new generations come along, and it's not their fault if the older crowd is dealing with failed marriages, failed ambitions, or just a generally failed life...

Reading some quotes online from those statements, it feels like Hegel is more about being complex than actually being sincere... Sometimes those things just don't align. I honestly can't wrap my head around his philosophy. Either I’m just not enlightened enough to get him, or there isn't much actual substance worth grasping in the first place. I’ll admit I've never even picked up one of his books or studied him in an American ethics class, so take that with a grain of salt. Whether I'm onto something or just totally off base is up to you Hegel experts to decide...