I split my head open—and no, it wasn't because I'm clumsy

amberheron62 said:Look, I play some pretty high-risk sports, so getting banged up is just part of the deal—but my absolute favorites? The ones that make me want to crawl under a rock because they’re too embarrassing to admit. Like, slamming my entire butt into the bathtub (I honestly thought I was the only one... 😍), catching the trunk lid right on the bridge of my nose, getting smacked on the head by a falling window on an old subway car, tripping over my own dog, or basically face-planting down the stairs... My future daughter is going to be constantly competing with me to see who can rack up more bruises and scratches. 😍

Personally, I once slammed a car door shut directly on my thumb—yeah, I actually closed it all the way 😲 . Luckily, it was just a nasty bruise, but I lost a nail. Fast forward to now: we have this fancy car with those sliding rear doors, and since I’m the type who always has to peek in the back to see if anything’s left behind, I told him I’m probably gonna end up getting guillotined by them one day. 🤣

(That whole thing with the subway window doesn't count as being clumsy, though—that's just straight-up bad luck. 😘 )

jadesailor14 said:she somehow pulls off everything that other people totally 😁
but man, she looked like she’d gone ten rounds with a heavyweight—if I hadn't been there with her, I wouldn't have even believed she was actually older

Did the older one get tongue-lashed or something? My little sister had her worst run-ins with injuries when she was hanging out with me😲

p.s. you changed the title 😘

Sandra Wood45 said:Did the older one get served tongue soup?

Nope! And honestly, I don't blame her—thank goodness they were eating together, so she just sent it back once she got home. 🤣
If she had actually pushed the plate away at the table, that would have been a whole different story! 🙂

I’m pretty sure I hit my absolute peak when I decided to headfirst dive into a shallow pool.
The bottom was solid concrete 🤣
Look, it wasn't exactly clumsiness—it was more of a "hey, what if I do this?" moment. 😁

Sure, I was only 13 at the time, but honestly... that doesn't really change much. 😬

My recent streak of stupidity peaked when I slammed my bike straight into a massive curb. No clue what I was thinking. Okay, fine, it was way too late to swerve, but part of me was just hoping for some kind of miracle. 😁 😬
Pretty sure this elbow scar is sticking around for a while. 😁

amberheron62 said:I deal with enough high-risk hobbies to rack up my fair share of bruises—but honestly? My favorite injuries are always the ones I’m too embarrassed to admit how I actually got.

Too true. I haven't picked up a single injury during MMA training that wasn't somehow worse than the stuff I do just tripping over things in my own living room.🤣

So, get this... 🤣 🙏
I went full speed into some glass doors. Luckily, they were made of that reinforced stuff, 🤣
so much so that everything actually shook for a few seconds.
I don't mean I walk fast—I mean I basically sprint everywhere I go. Like, seriously. You can imagine how hard I hit those things.
The lady from my apartment complex came running over immediately, acting all concerned, but I could see it in her eyes—she was dying to laugh at me.

The best part? I slammed into them because I was convinced there was NO glass there.
Even better—it wasn't even my first time walking through (well, hitting) those exact same doors. 😂
Thank God for bangs, though. They totally hid the bump.

Sandra Wood45 said:(that whole thing with your subway window doesn't count as being clumsy, it's just plain bad luck. 😘 )

Lol, okay, maybe it *would* have been just bad luck if I hadn't literally tried to shut that exact same window one minute before! Clearly, I just failed miserably at it. 😬

And get this—my friend had an experience that I honestly thought only happened in those crappy slapstick comedies. We were walking through some of those super cute, old-school cobblestone streets in Savannah when she hit a patch of... well, let's just say dog poop. She slipped big time, went flying through the air (like, actually airborne!), and landed right on top of the pile, cracking her tailbone in the process.
If I hadn't seen it happen with my own two eyes, I would've thought you were making it up! 😲

amberheron62 said:Closing the trunk on my nose...

Well, they didn't catch me on the nose—it was the top of my head! I was seeing stars, and honestly, little cartoon birds circling my vision too. It was bloody, and I ended up clutching a bag of frozen veggies against it just to keep the swelling down...

So, back when I was still rocking glasses, I was playing soccer with some friends at this birthday party. One of them decides to "break sides," and I’m like, "Hey, header it!" So he headers it, and I go to head the ball back—but for some totally inexplicable reason* I completely misjudge the trajectory, and the ball just slams straight into my face. My glasses. My nose. Everything...

I end up collapsing onto the grass from the impact (nothing actually broke, but my glasses got shoved DEEP into my nose 🙄 ) and all I can hear behind me is the whole group shouting, "Go check on her!" and people responding, "I can't, this is too freaking funny." Meanwhile, I'm just rolling around on the ground, half-screaming in pain and half-dying laughing...

It was brutal 🙄

* — I mean, there is a reason. I have terrible nearsightedness, so things get pretty blurry once the sun starts going down. But to actually miss the path of a soccer ball entirely? I didn't see that coming 😵

jadesailor14 said:Nah, I don't think she's to blame either—it’s just bad luck they were together and she ended up getting sent back home 🤣
if she'd actually pushed her, well, that would be a whole different level of trouble 🙂

But honestly? I always felt like it was on me—like I just didn't watch her closely enough. My grandparents weren't the type to go off on me, but they definitely gave me that look... you know, that "how on earth could she trip right next to you?" kind of stare. 😢

Just out of pure curiosity, does anyone else struggle with their peripheral vision, or just their eyesight in general?

After a bit of an accident involving a family member, they went in for a routine checkup and found out they have a significantly narrowed field of vision. Apparently, that’s why they aren't registering things sitting below knee level or anything like that.

It leads to those clumsy little moments—bumping shoulders against a doorframe or catching your knees on the edge of the coffee table. It's frustrating, really.

lonebear3 said:Just out of curiosity, does anyone else deal with issues with their peripheral vision, or just vision in general?

So, after a bunch of random accidents, a family member of mine went for a routine checkup and found out they actually have a narrowed field of vision. Basically, they can't register stuff down below knee level and things like that.

I'm talking constant mishaps—banging shoulders on doorframes, smashing knees into the coffee table, you name it.

Honestly, I don't have any vision problems at all! If anything, I’d say I’m a total natural because I’m super coordinated in all the sports I play, whether I'm out on the field or back when I used to work in the lab... I guess I just get too relaxed when there aren't strict parameters to follow and end up just flailing my limbs everywhere!!😬

amberheron62 said:I suppose I’ve become far too undisciplined lately. Without any set parameters or a concrete plan to follow, I find myself just flailing about aimlessly—moving my limbs in every direction without any real sense of purpose or direction. 😬

It all comes down to territoriality, really. It’s that primal, stubborn instinct to claim ground, and honestly, anyone—or anything—that happens to be standing in the way of someone driven by that impulse is just going to get trampled. It's a cold reality of how people operate when they feel their space is being encroached upon. 😁

lonebear3 said:Just out of pure curiosity, are any of you struggling with peripheral vision, or perhaps your eyesight in general?

Following a series of unfortunate accidents, a member of my own family went in for a routine checkup and discovered they have significantly constricted visual fields. Apparently, that is why they fail to register objects positioned below knee level or similar low-profile items.

It explains things like constantly slamming shoulders into doorframes or bruising knees against the coffee table.

I wear contact lenses, though I highly doubt that is the reason behind my constant clumsiness...
I recall reading somewhere that some individuals are simply cosmically destined to be accident-prone throughout their lives...

Honestly, I am a walking disaster zone; I am constantly breaking my sister's unique ceramic vases or heirloom trays, snapping hair clips, or—heaven forbid—stepping on my niece's toys (she has four of them, and she is quite protective!)...

lonebear3 said:It’s all about territory, plain and simple. It’s that "this is my turf" mentality, and honestly? Anyone who happens to be standing in the way of someone on a mission is just asking for trouble! 😁

Seriously though, what is up with that damn table? Like, why on earth has it been sitting in that exact same spot for twenty years straight? It’s driving me crazy!😁

quietpilot87 said:Oh, goodness, just the other day... 🤣 🙏
I had a bit of a clumsy moment earlier—I actually walked straight into a set of glass doors! Thank goodness they were made of tempered safety glass, otherwise, I might have ended up in the emergency room instead of just nursing a bruised ego. 🤣

It happens to me every once in a while—usually when I’m walking into one of those high-end, upscale banks where everything is just too pristine. You know the type? They have those massive glass partitions that are polished so thoroughly they practically disappear. Honestly, there are moments when I find myself staring at what looks like an open walkway, only to realize I'm actually facing a pane of glass! It’s quite disorienting when the cleaning crew does such a flawless job that the barrier between me and the interior becomes completely invisible.
I once had the absolute misfortune of walking straight into a street sign—just a total, clumsy collision with metal. Honestly, I felt like such a fool! Everyone on the sidewalk just burst out laughing right then and there. It was one of those moments where you just want the ground to swallow you whole.

To be perfectly honest, I find myself gripped by this deep, nagging anxiety about what the future holds—specifically, what will happen when I finally have children of my own. It’s a heavy thought that stays with me.

My specialty is definitely those little glass 🙂

Honestly, I could probably fund an entire industry just on my own.

I’ve stopped trying to count the hairpins, the frayed carpet edges, or the grit stuck in the entryway shoes. It's a lost cause at this point.

😳

I’ve been scrolling through this thread and I am honestly just laughing my head off...

Thank goodness the moderator renamed this topic... because let's be real, I haven't received a single shred of actual, useful medical advice for my pounding headaches here anyway....

Kate Cox2 said:I’ve been scrolling through this thread and I can’t stop laughing...

Honestly, thank goodness the moderator renamed this thing. It was becoming useless anyway; I haven't received a single shred of actual medical advice for my migraines from any of you lot. Just endless noise.

Besides, what could possibly be better than good old-fashioned chicken?😕

lonebear3 said:And honestly, what could possibly top chicken?😕

Perhaps just a brand new haircut tomorrow.🥳