Harold Reed4
MemberOP
21 messages
joined Aug 2019
I’m back. A bit late to the party, I suppose. I just wrapped up an appointment with my immunologist, Dubravka Bosnić, and her recommendation was to run more tests to rule out sarcoidosis and Sjogren. Well, the blood work and chest X-ray came back negative for sarcoidosis, and the blood tests (SS-A, SS-B) along with the Schirmer test confirmed it isn't Sjogren either. Her grand conclusion? A classic "we'll wait and see." In plain English, that translates to: "I have absolutely no clue what is happening to you," though she did mention that my symptoms point toward subcutaneous nerve damage. Unfortunately, here in the US, there isn't even a dedicated Small fiber Neuropathy search in our standard medical protocols. I simply nodded, played the part of the compliant patient, and walked out. I’ve cycled through at least 30 different doctors by now, and yet I haven't received a single shred of information that I didn't already know myself. Since I posted here last, things have taken a turn for the worse—and they aren't stopping. These flare-ups feel like a potential autoimmune reaction, yet I still lack a definitive diagnosis that would actually allow for any meaningful treatment. On my bad days, my eyes become bloodshot and angry, my muscles tighten like guitar strings pulled to the snapping point—twitching so violently I lose control of my movements—and the paresthesia and dysesthesia reach such agonizing levels that even the sensation of wearing clothes is unbearable. Honestly, some days it feels easier to just call in sick than to endure the torture of being dressed at the office all day. As for painkillers, I’m taking nothing. I’ve tried everything under the sun, and frankly, none of it touches this. The only thing keeping me somewhat sane and focused is Normabel, but even that occasionally fails to stop the intrusive thoughts of slathering lidocaine on my wrists just to make the urge to cut my veins go away.
I truly, sincerely hope that you wonderful people, and everyone you hold dear, never have to face anything even remotely like this.
The symptoms started about a year ago. In that short span, I’ve gone from being a fit, happy, and deeply in love kid—I'm only 23, after all—to someone whom my own loved ones have pushed away, a person who spends his nights scratching at the walls and weeping because this pain is quite literally indescribable.
I wish you all the best. If you need advice, I’m here. If you have any advice for me, I’m listening.
Peace.