Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

I've finally wrapped my head around things. Honestly, I think the first thing that really hit me was the sheer shock; we all live with this theoretical idea that these things happen to "other people"—never to us, or to those closest to us. I had to pull myself together and decide to stay positive. No matter how much I feel like venting, I need to remain composed and steady for her. When I called her, I made sure to act normal, just like any other regular phone call, nothing different from how we spoke before she told me the news. I told her firmly that I’d be stopping by today; she seemed a bit surprised, which made me realize she probably expected a more dramatic reaction, maybe some crying or something similar. She didn't turn me away, though. I'm going to try to learn more about her condition today—to see if there is actually a way I can help—but mostly, I just want to listen to her. I won't let her give up or just surrender to this... thank you all for the support...

Hey everyone, I’m reaching out to the community here because I could really use some guidance.
So, my dad just went through surgery for Stage 3 colon cancer. They had to remove a section of his bowel, and according to the blood work and everything else, there aren't any visible metastases. However, the doctors explained that he needs to go on chemotherapy as a preventative measure, and they actually started him on an oral chemo regimen last week. (Since we don't live in the same city, I unfortunately don't have the specific name of the medication on hand.)
I wanted to throw a few questions out there:
1. He was given certain pills that he’s supposed to take before his actual chemo tablets, and then others to take afterward (if I understood the instructions correctly). He’s also supposed to eat something before taking the chemo meds, but we’re totally lost—what would be the best thing for him to eat? I’d love any advice on diet while he's going through this treatment.
2. For the last two months, he’s been drinking Taheebo tea, taking black seed oil (which he absolutely hates!), and using aloe vera. Should he stop all of that now that he's starting his chemo cycles?

I’m really hoping for some answers here because the doctors haven't given us much direction, and he starts the next round in just two days... thanks!

redwolf4 said:Hi everyone, I’m reaching out here because I really need some guidance.
My dad just had surgery for Stage 3 colon cancer. They removed a section of his bowel, and according to both the scans and his bloodwork, there aren't any visible metastases. However, as a preventative measure, the doctors have prescribed him chemotherapy in pill form, which starts next week. (Since we don't live in the same city, I unfortunately don't know the specific name of the medication.)
I have a couple of questions:
1. He was given certain pills that he needs to take before his chemo tablets, and others for after (if I understood correctly). He also needs to eat something before taking the chemo pills, but we aren't sure what would be best. Does anyone have advice on what kind of diet he should follow while on this medication?
2. For the last two months, he’s been taking Taheebo tea, black seed oil (which he absolutely hates!), and aloe vera. Should he stop taking all of these while he's undergoing his chemo cycles?

I'd really appreciate some answers. The doctors haven't given us much direction, and he starts his treatment in just two days... thanks!

Did they actually tell you he needs to eat something beforehand, or are you just assuming? My mom had to take her treatment on an empty stomach when she was on Termodal.
Generally speaking, while undergoing treatment, you want to stick to light, easy-to-digest foods: think grains, vegetables, white meat, or fish.

Regarding the tea, oil, and aloe—some doctors argue that you should avoid antioxidants during chemo because they can interfere with how well the drugs work. Personally, I don't think what he’s taking will cause a massive issue, but it might be wise to space it out so he takes those supplements about six hours after his actual medication.

Moving forward, if you want answers, ask the doctor directly. Don't expect them to volunteer dietary advice unless you specifically prompt them. Doctors usually assume that if you aren't asking questions, everything is perfectly clear, so they won't waste time explaining things you haven't asked about.

redwolf4 said:Hi everyone, I’m reaching out to this group because we really need some guidance.
My dad just had surgery for colon cancer (Stage 3). They removed a section of his bowel, and according to both the scans and his bloodwork, there aren't any visible metastases. However, the doctors explained that as a preventative measure, he needs to undergo chemotherapy. He actually started his first round of oral chemo tablets last week. (Since we don't live in the same city, I unfortunately don't know the specific name of the medication.)
I have a couple of questions:
1. He was given certain pills that he has to take before his actual chemo tablets, and then other pills to take afterward (if I understood that correctly). He's also supposed to eat something before taking those tablets, but we have no idea what would be best. Does anyone have advice on the right diet to maintain while on this regimen?
2. For the last two months, he’s been taking Taheebo tea, black seed oil (which he absolutely hates!), and aloe vera. Should he stop all of that now that he's starting his chemotherapy cycles?

I’d really appreciate some answers here. The doctors haven't given us much direction, and he starts the next phase in just two days... thanks!

Look, since we don't have the exact specifics here, my best advice is to go back and read that medical history and discharge summary—read it twenty times if you have to. Sometimes the most critical information is hidden in those tiny, overlooked details.
Also, as > pointed out, the smartest move is to talk directly to his primary care physician. We're talking about cytostatics prescribed by oncologists, and honestly, it's usually not a good idea for other specialists to butt in too much—though there are exceptions, of course.
As for question number 2? Personally, I wouldn't be doing any of that.

vividsailor7 said:As for point number two, I wouldn't recommend applying that approach.

Could you please elaborate on why you feel that way?

Linda Baker51 said:Could you please explain what you mean by that?

Like I said before, it essentially dampens the effectiveness of the chemo. It ends up binding to those nasty free radicals produced by the drugs—the very things meant to go out and kill off the malignant cells. On top of that, there's a huge unknown factor regarding potential contraindications or dangerous chemical reactions that might occur when those components collide with the chemotherapy agents. Honestly, looking at the three specific items you mentioned, they seem like they wouldn't be a massive deal since we're talking about basic food products, if I'm being perfectly blunt.

Angela Wright said:As I mentioned before, it can actually dampen the effectiveness of chemotherapy because it binds to those harmful free radicals produced by the drugs—the very things meant to target and destroy malignant cells. Plus, there’s always that uncertainty regarding potential contraindications or dangerous interactions when those elements collide with the chemo. To be honest, based on my own experience, I don't think the three items you listed should pose too much of an issue since they are just dietary supplements.

Thanks for getting back to me. I follow your logic regarding how these products impact chemotherapy. Just to clarify, I wasn't the author of the previous post; I was simply curious about the professional medical consensus on these types of supplements.

I started posting in this thread because my mother has been diagnosed with cancer three times since 2004. I've been living in this reality for a long time now, which means I spend a great deal of time researching and reflecting. You hit the nail on the head regarding doctors; they rarely offer nutritional advice unless specifically asked. It feels as though the entire system is laser-focused on chemotherapy, cytotoxic drugs, and radiation. While I certainly don't dispute that those are the heavy hitters, I truly believe we should be looking at the body as a whole system and paying much closer attention to the immune system. I understand if you say that isn't strictly an oncologist's job, but that's exactly what's missing: genuine collaboration. I'm not talking about a formal medical board, but rather a better dialogue between primary care physicians and specialists.

In all these years, no one ever suggested to my mother, "Let's check your bloodwork to see where you stand with vitamins and minerals." Not during treatment, not after surgery, not even following radiation. There was never a suggestion to help detoxify the system or even to address her weight management. I have immense respect for our doctors, but I can't help feeling that a holistic approach to the patient is sorely lacking. You really notice the difference when you encounter a physician who spent part of their career practicing abroad. You can sense that different philosophy—that genuine focus on the person as a whole. They always seem to have the time to talk through everything, including nutrition.

Linda Baker51 said:H

In all these years, nobody ever suggested to my mom, "Hey, let’s run some blood work and see where you stand with your vitamins and minerals." Not during her treatments, not after surgery, not even once following her rounds of chemo and radiation. Not a single word about flushing toxins out of her system or even helping her manage her weight. I have nothing against our doctors—they do their jobs—but I honestly feel there's a massive gap when it comes to providing a truly holistic approach to a patient. You can really tell the difference when you deal with a doctor who spent part of their career working overseas. You can sense that different level of approachability and genuine care for the person. They actually make time to talk through everything, even things as simple as nutrition.

And honestly, that was actually a flaw with her primary care physician, even though I know plenty of wonderful and caring family doctors out there. It makes me wonder—if doctors were compensated and treated by the system (and let's be real, by certain patients) the same way those professionals "overseas" are, maybe they'd be more motivated. That shift would almost certainly trickle down to the quality of care we receive.

Angela Wright said:And honestly, that’s really the flaw with her primary care physician, even though she actually has some truly wonderful and caring family doctors. I can't help but wonder if physicians were compensated and treated more fairly by the system (and, let's be honest, by certain patients) the way they might be "out there," maybe they’d be better motivated. That would naturally trickle down to the quality of care provided.

I couldn't agree more. It’s all just one vicious cycle built on shaky foundations. Much like other poorly managed sectors—be it education or the economy—it’s frustrating, except in this instance, we're talking about human health, which gives the whole issue a much heavier weight. Regardless, thank you once again for responding to our questions with such patience and warmth.

Hey, I really need some help here.
My dad was just diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma. He’s being treated at Jordanovacu, but honestly, I am beyond disappointed with the doctors at that hospital. My mom and I messed up by waiting too long to get a second opinion from a specialist over at the Mayo Clinic, who told us straight up—in plain English—that his lungs are basically cemented shut after the radiation he received. Because of that, surgery isn't even an option anymore. If they hadn't done that radiation, the folks at Mayo would have likely removed one lung, and with chemo, he’d definitely have a better shot at living longer. The real kicker? Nobody at Jordanovacu—and I mean absolutely nobody—bothered to tell us that the radiation was irreversible and that it would kill any chance of surgery. Not to mention, they didn't even mention that radiation usually causes high fevers and wound infections, which is exactly what happened to my dad.
I did some digging online and found an article saying surgery might still be possible since there are no metastases (and Dad doesn't have any), making everything reversible. Honestly, I don't even know who to turn to anymore. I am just devastated and incredibly pissed off at this system and these doctors who clearly don't give a damn about people. I actually thought we were lucky to have accessible healthcare, but man, was I wrong.
Does anyone know of any support groups for cancer patients? I doubt there's one specifically for mesothelioma since it's so rare. Also, if anyone has experience seeking cancer treatment abroad, please tell me exactly where to go. thanks

Hey everyone! Last year, my dad was diagnosed with a carotid clot—over 90% blockage. Thankfully, he made it through that okay, but ever since then, it’s just been one thing after another.
He’s dealing with heart issues and atherosclerosis too. Then, about two months ago, he headed down to a hospital in Miami because his knee was killing him, only to find out he had a bunch of clots in the veins of his left leg. To make matters worse, they discovered an abdominal aortic aneurysm, and now the "new" diagnosis is arterial blockage in that same left leg.
The hospital didn't actually DO anything to fix the issue—literally NOTHING—they just sent him home without a solid plan, telling him to come back for a follow-up in two months.
He was actually stuck in that hospital for a month and a half. As soon as he got home (he was only home for a single day), our family decided to get a second opinion at the Mayo Clinic, where the doctors were honestly shocked he hadn't come in sooner. Now, we might be looking at amputation. His foot has been numb for a while and his leg is turning purple. The pain has been constant since the end of April.
I am just so angry and heartbroken over all this! The folks in Miami didn't lift a finger besides sending him home; they didn't even finish his tests. We actually found out about the blocked arteries and the aneurysm from a family friend—a specialist doctor there who suspected it and told my mom—and those suspicions were later confirmed by doctors in Washington, D.C.
It's a total disaster. My dad wasted precious time lying in a hospital bed where they didn't even complete his workup. Tomorrow, they’ll run all the necessary tests in Washington, D.C., and then we'll know what's next and what kind of surgery he needs. I'm terrified of what the results will show, and it breaks my heart seeing him suffer like this for months. He’s taking so many painkillers that today he was completely disoriented.
And I haven't even mentioned that last year they found a cyst on his lung. When he went in for his check-up in April, the cyst looked round and the same size, so they didn't want to biopsy it. But then he suffered a pulmonary embolism and pneumonia, and less than a month after that follow-up scan, they found some irregular mass on his other lung. So, it wasn't there in early April, but after the embolism and pneumonia, it showed up by the end of the month.
They’re going to biopsy it this week at the Mayo Clinic. I’m praying it isn't cancer, especially since that mass appeared in less than a month, even though he hasn't had a cough or a fever or anything like that.
Ugh, I don't even know what to think anymore. On top of everything, I have college finals coming up, and I can't focus on anything except my dad. 😢 😢.

Honestly, nothing has changed at Washington, D.C. hospitals in the last 25 years. My late grandmother had an identical story; she was supposed to undergo bypass surgery, but it failed miserably. Instead of fixing her, they basically butchered her leg—honestly, they’d have more luck sewing up a pig than what they did to her. When she complained about the pain, they just told her to stop being dramatic because they were planning on amputating her legs in a few weeks anyway. So, she pulled some political strings and managed to get into the VIP ward at the old military hospital. She got treated there, and let me tell you, that therapy literally brought her back from the dead.

Angela Wright said:Honestly, nothing has changed at Firulama in the last 25 years—not one thing. My late grandma had this exact same experience... they were supposed to do a bypass for her but it failed, so instead, they basically just patched up her leg in a way that wouldn't even satisfy a pig. When she complained, they actually told her to stop being dramatic because they’d be amputating her legs in a few weeks anyway. So, she pulled some strings, got herself into the VIP ward at the old military hospital, and finally got treatment that literally brought her back from the dead.

It's a total disaster. My dad spent a month and a half stuck in that hospital without them performing a single test—when he finally asked for pain meds, the nurse just handed him some Tylenol. It's embarrassing. And mind you, we actually had a "connection" there, so he was supposedly getting "better" care.
The only silver lining is that he'll at least get the proper tests done in Washington, D.C. so we can figure out a plan, even though he wasted so much precious time.

Situations like this make me feel ashamed of my future profession.

Chloe Gray5 said:It was an absolute disaster. My father spent a full month stuck in that hospital without them running a single meaningful test. When he finally asked for pain medication, all the nurse brought him was Tylenol. It’s disgraceful. And honestly, we only got any decent treatment because we had a "connection" there.
The only silver lining is that we're heading to Washington, D.C. to actually get things done and figure out a plan, even though he wasted so much precious time already.

When I see situations like this, it makes me feel ashamed of my future profession.

Make sure you ask if a lumbar puncture is an option right now—don't skip that question!

Angela Wright said:Make sure you ask if they mentioned barotherapy—it might be an option right now, definitely check!

Thanks, we'll give that a shout.

My dad started taking shark liver oil on his own, and now he’s developed jaundice. According to the tests, it isn't metastases; it was just his own mistake. They say it should clear up in about ten days. Continuing chemotherapy is out of the question right now.
However, I have another issue. It seems like he's fallen into a deep depression because he refuses to eat anything at all. He barely touches a little soup the entire day. Naturally, the whole chemo process has been thrown off balance—he has no strength, won't eat or drink, and is basically living off IV fluids. Talking, threatening, pleading—nothing works. He’ll starve to death if we don't do something, but we don't have time to get him to a psychiatrist, and we couldn't even get him there if we tried. If I give him antidepressants, he'll just sleep, and he's already lethargic. What do we do next?

Jesse Ward45 said:My dad decided to take shark liver oil on his own—not exactly the brightest move—and ended up getting jaundice. According to the tests, it’s not metastases, just his own mistake. Apparently, it should clear up in about 10 days. Continuing chemo is totally off the table right now.
But I've got another issue on my hands. It feels like he's fallen into a deep depression because he refuses to eat anything at all. Just a tiny bit of soup for the entire day. Naturally, the whole chemo process has been thrown out of whack—he has zero energy, isn't eating or drinking, and is basically living off the IV fluids. Talking to him, threatening him, pleading with him... nothing works. He's going to starve if we don't do something, but we don't have time to get him to a psychiatrist, and honestly, we couldn't even drive him there if we wanted to. If we give him antidepressants, he'll just sleep, and he's already pretty lethargic. What do we do next?

Is he in pain? Maybe that's why he won't eat, or could it be purely the depression?
My dad lost about 45 pounds in just two months because of the pain—he's also refusing to eat. We're just hoping he'll start again once things settle down.
We gave him some Pulmocare last year when he had lung issues and was feeling weak, and that actually helped kickstart his appetite.
Maybe try giving him those high-calorie nutritional shakes while you look for professional help?

Chloe Gray5 said:Is he in pain, or is the lack of appetite coming from depression?
My father has lost 20 kg in just two months because of the pain, and he’s refusing to eat too. We’re hoping his appetite returns once his issues are managed.
We gave him Pulmocare last year when he had lung issues and weakened up; that actually helped stimulate his appetite back then.
Maybe try giving him high-calorie nutritional shakes while you look for professional medical help?

Thanks for the quick reply. There isn't any pain, he's just extremely thin. He was 80 kg before surgery, and now he's under 60 kg. He has Prosure and Ensure shakes, but he constantly insists that food just won't go down. It's true that his digestion isn't normal anymore; he feels discomfort unless he has a major bowel movement, but there aren't physical obstacles preventing him from drinking water. Still, it isn't right that he can only manage about half a liter of water a day. As for food, don't even get me started. We plead with him, we're all crying together, but nothing seems to work...

It has officially been a year since we began our fight against this brutal disease.
Today, the results from the CT scan arrived, and once again, they are positive. The sarcoma has shrunk yet again—though this time we aren't measuring in centimeters, but in millimeters—and we are genuinely relieved to see things moving in the right direction with no signs of metastasis. Our patient doesn't even look like someone battling an illness; he feels incredible, and his lab results consistently come back excellent. He sticks strictly to a healthy diet and stays incredibly active. He remains cheerful, full of life, and absolutely refuses to be broken by this. We have hope for everything, and we are certainly not surrendering. Sending my best to all of you and wishing you strength in this battle.

My dad has been admitted to the hospital. His bilirubin levels have spiked even further, so I’m starting to doubt the shark oil was the cause. He's barely able to keep any fluids down. The doctors are mentioning potential lesions on his liver, and he'll be undergoing an MRI very soon. If that's what it is, I'm terrified we're reaching the end. About a month and a half ago, his MRI showed nothing, and just five days ago, an ultrasound came back clear too. Is it actually possible for things to progress this rapidly in a single week? And is there any help available?