Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

So, they basically handed my dad over to the doctors at the hospital—some guy from the company that owns the facility sat Mom down and explained how everything works, and that was pretty much it. I just know Dad was using it like crazy, though; he’d be up working with it all through the night and day.

Walter Newman6 said:When my dad was in the hospital, some guy representing the company came by to explain the whole process to my mom, and that was basically it. I know for a fact Dad relied on it heavily; he’d be working at it day and night.

The real issue lies with people who haven't received an official lung cancer diagnosis yet. They can't get access to it, regardless of what their pulmonologist or oncologist recommends, and regardless of the fact that they have lung metastases that are literally suffocating them.

Hey everyone....

My dad just got hit with a diagnosis of non-special type breast cancer. He’s already gone through surgery, and we just got the IHC results back today. Since I'm actually in my sixth year of med school, I feel like I should know this stuff, but honestly, I'm spinning—does anyone here have experience interpreting these specific markers? I'd love if someone could break down what this report is actually telling us....



Hang in there, everyone! 🙂

Lawrence Miller4 said:Hey everyone....

My father was diagnosed with non-specific breast cancer. He’s already had surgery, and his IHC results just came back today. Since I'm currently in my sixth year of medical school, I was wondering if anyone here could break down what these specific findings actually imply....



Hey all, hang in there! 🙂

Go ahead to www.zanovidan.com and log into the forum. Start a new thread specifically about male breast cancer and ask your question there. We have an oncologist, Jasna Radić, who frequents the forum and can give you some real insight.
What I can tell you right now is that those results basically describe the underlying structure of the tumor tissue.
Male breast cancer is incredibly rare, so I don't have much deep knowledge on how it deviates from the female version or how different its progression might be.

More info on the disease

Hello everyone.

My mother has just completed six rounds of chemotherapy, and she is scheduled to begin radiation therapy in about ten days. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the affected breast has already been surgically removed.

I find myself grappling with a specific question: what has your experience been regarding the flu? Specifically, is it advisable to get the seasonal flu shot under these circumstances? Naturally, we will be consulting with her doctor on this matter, but I am deeply interested in hearing your personal perspectives and lived experiences concerning individuals who have undergone such intensive treatment.

It should be noted that she has always been quite susceptible to the flu; there is rarely a year that passes where she doesn't fall ill.

Thank you, and my best regards to you all.

Lawrence Miller4 said:Hey everyone! Just wanted to pop in and say hi to the whole group... hope you're all doing okay today!

So, I just got my diagnosis for an unspecified type of breast cancer. I’ve already gone through surgery, and today the IHC results finally came in... Since I’m actually in my sixth year of med school, I was hoping maybe someone here could help me break down exactly what these findings are saying? I guess I'm just trying to wrap my head around all the specifics.



Hey everyone, hang in there! 🙂

So, I think I’m finally starting to wrap my head around all of this... basically, the results show that the tumor is "feeding" off hormones, which I guess means I'll most likely be starting anti-hormonal therapy pretty soon, you know? It's supposed to block—or like, just really dial down—the production of estrogen and progesterone through either injections or pills, I think.

I actually went through that exact same treatment myself—it lasted about five months for me—mostly because my tumor was hormone-positive too, I guess.

So, I was just thinking about my living situation—I actually live in this house that’s basically split into four different apartments, so there are four separate families all under one roof—and there's this one older gentleman who lives here too, and he'll be turning 80 next January, which is pretty wild, and he actually went through breast cancer himself about eight years ago.

So, I guess I've been going through all of this for almost seven years now, if you can even believe that.

I guess you could say we’re both just feeling totally whole and incredibly happy right now, maybe? It’s such a good vibe, honestly! 🙂

stormymaker24 said:Hey there!

My mom just finished up six rounds of chemo, and she’s actually starting radiation in about ten days or so. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, and they ended up removing the breast where the cancer was located.

So, I guess my question is: does anyone here have any experience dealing with the flu? Like, should she get the seasonal flu shot or skip it? Of course, she’s going to talk it over with her doctor, but I’m really curious to hear what you all have gone through when it comes to people who have been through treatments like this.

She’s always been super susceptible to the flu, too—it feels like there isn't a single year that goes by where she doesn't catch it.

Thanks so much and sending good vibes!

Anyway, I definitely think she should ask her doctor if it's a smart move to get vaccinated right now (since she's still technically in treatment), because her immune system is probably still pretty wiped out.🙂

As for me, my doctor makes sure I get my shot every single year since he puts me in that "high risk" category along with kids and retirees.😉

We lost the fight.... Wishing nothing but the very best to everyone out there fighting with everything they have.

Laura Scott48 said:we lost the fight....sending nothing but the best to everyone still out there fighting with everything they've got

Laura Scott48, I am so incredibly sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences.

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Laura Scott48, please accept my deepest, most sincere condolences. Just hang in there and stay strong for as long as you can!

Laura Scott48
Take my condolences, I guess it had to be this way. Stay strong and don't let yourself sink.

Amanda Martinez28
I’m almost afraid to ask, but I have to—how is everyone doing? How is your dad holding up?

quietraven0 said:Amanda Martinez28
I’m scared to even ask, but here I go—how is everyone doing? Is your dad okay?

My father passed away on October 5th, and we held the funeral on October 6th—right on my birthday.
What can I even say? It was horrible. Just absolutely terrifying. And I had to witness it all because he kept calling for me, and he was conscious almost until the very end. Watching your closest person struggle to breathe right in front of you while you're sick yourself—and him practically begging you for help—my dears, it was just too much. I’ll never be able to erase the image from my mind of the ER nurse rushing past him, all dressed up, kneeling by his bed desperately trying to find a vein. Even the guy from the day before started crying while looking for a vein and had to call a colleague over just to help him. But the hardest part? My dad passed away in my mother's arms at 3:15 PM on October 4th. Then, around 6:00 PM, he was back in my brother's arms. And then, around 9:00 PM, near the doctor, somehow, amidst all our screaming and wailing, he seemed to come back to us. It's impossible to describe. After the second time, I went to church, lit a candle, and just prayed to Jesus to take him home soon. Now, I just have to hold onto the hope that my father isn't angry, and that he knows everything I did, I did for his own good.

To everyone out there fighting this evil: I truly, from the bottom of my heart, want you to win. Every single victory of yours is a joy to me, and I’ll always be right here standing with you.

Best,

Amanda Martinez28
I am so incredibly sorry; please accept my deepest, most heartfelt condolences.

You truly gave everything you had, and I know for a fact he recognized that—he was so grateful for you. You were his rock and his biggest support system, which is why he always leaned on you.
I truly believe your father is so proud of the brave, determined woman you've become, and I feel like he’s still watching over you with so much love.
Hang in there and stay strong.

I am reaching out to anyone who has navigated what I am currently walking through with my mother. I need some perspective because I am genuinely struggling to know if I am making the right calls. To be blunt, Mom is fading. Every single day she seems weaker, less mobile, and her appetite has all but vanished. Most of the time, she’s just sleeping—which, honestly, probably feels like the easiest way for her to cope. But when she does wake up, she’s often disoriented, occasionally drifting into nonsensical sentences. When I ask her simple questions about what she wants, her default answer is almost always, "I don't know." The hardest part, the thing that truly guts me, is when she asks me to take her somewhere—to a hospital, to another specialist, anywhere—begging for help because she’s convinced that without it, she’s going to die. I can't bring myself to crush that final shred of hope by telling her the truth: that in a hospital setting, patients in her condition are often sidelined or ignored. Yet, it is equally agonizing to look her in the eye and lie to her, promising a recovery that neither of us truly believes is coming. I feel utterly helpless and heavy with sadness. It isn't that the work I do for her is hard; it's the crushing realization of how little I can actually do.
She has an appointment scheduled for Saturday, October 24th—her first follow-up since the surgery—with her oncologist. In my gut, I feel like this appointment is futile. I have no idea how an oncologist would even react to seeing her in this state. Still, I wonder if taking her might offer her some psychological relief, giving her the illusion that something is still being done for her.
Please, if you have been here before, share your experience.
- How do I respond to her pleas without wounding her or sinking her further into despair?
- Is there any actual point in putting her through the exhaustion of a car ride to the oncologist, or is it just prolonging the inevitable?

Donna Chase said:I know exactly where one finds strength. In faith. If you are a believer, go to church, or even just set aside five minutes in the silence of your own room each day for prayer. Prayer is simply a conversation with God. That is precisely why Jesus went to the cross—to give our suffering a sense of purpose. He is our greatest friend. Tell Him from the depths of your heart: "Jesus, this burden is too heavy for me; help me carry it." Šimun Cirenac helped carry his cross, too. With Him, I can do anything; without Him, I am nothing.
If you aren't religious, find an honest friend, a brother, a sister, a relative, or someone who has walked a similar path. Just talking or even a firm handshake can provide immense relief.
Humans are social creatures; we aren't meant to face this alone.
When my father passed away, having people I cared about by my side made the weight much easier to bear. There were times, though, when it was better to just be alone and cry it out. Time is the ultimate healer.
For now, focus on being there for your mother. Making her comfort your absolute priority right now will actually serve to strengthen you. Find some small joy in being able to help her. Accept what you cannot change. I wish you nothing but the best.

Please forgive me for not having the strength or the time to respond to such beautiful words of comfort until now—words that I truly needed then, and still need today. Based on everything I’ve read here on the forum, I believe my mother is currently in what they call the terminal phase, and any hope for a cure has vanished. We are doing our best to make her final moments easier, even if we often fall short. As for strength, I truly find it through prayer and God.
Thanks again, and may the good Lord watch over you all!

Emily Fox15 said:I am asking if anyone who has gone through what I am currently dealing with regarding my mother can help me with their own experience. I am not sure if I am making the right decisions. To be honest, my mom is visibly getting weaker every single day—less mobile, eating less, and sleeping most of the time. I think that’s when she feels easiest. However, when she wakes up, she is often disoriented, sometimes speaking nonsensical sentences. When I ask her if she wants this or that, her most frequent answer is "I don't know." The hardest part of all is that several times now, she has begged me to take her somewhere—to a hospital, another doctor, etc.—so she can get help because, as she puts it, she will otherwise die. I don't have the heart to kill her last shred of hope by telling her that no one in a hospital wants patients like her. On the other hand, it is hard to look her in the eye and lie that she will recover when I know full well she is somewhat aware of the reality too. I feel utterly helpless and sad because I don't know how to make things easier for her or help her. It isn't hard for me to do anything for her, but it is terrifying how little I can actually do!
There is an appointment scheduled for Saturday, October 24th (the first one after surgery) with the oncologist. I know this checkup might be pointless, and I don't even know how the oncologist would react to seeing her in this state, but perhaps it would be easier for Mom because she would feel like something is actually being done about her.
Please help me with your experience.
- How should I react without hurting her or making her more upset?
- Does it make sense to put her through the strain of driving to the oncologist, or not?

I looked through your previous posts, and if I understand correctly, your mother has colon cancer with metastases in the liver and lungs?

First off, someone in the hospital made the decision to operate on her, which clearly means there is still some hope. I assume they primarily operated on the primary site of the colon cancer? I had a very bad experience with cancer in my own family, but regardless of the loss of my own mother, I remain an optimist regarding these types of illnesses. I have had the chance to meet many oncology patients with metastases and inoperable cancers who manage to live for a long time.

If she is weak due to the surgery, her doctor could prescribe Prosure and Megostat (I'm not entirely sure if I spelled those names correctly) to help. My mother received them when she started feeling poorly and was completely exhausted, lacking any strength at all (her oncologist recommended them, though her primary care physician wrote the prescriptions). They are meant to help patients regain their strength. If you can at all, take her to the oncologist, or at least go to the appointment yourself. If you do take your mother, ensure someone goes in with her to ask the oncologist all the questions you need answered. Also, try to encourage her to get out of bed a little bit every day and attempt to walk. Additionally, give her as many natural juices and vitamins as possible; she needs them to boost her immunity as much as possible. I don't want to push you deeper into depression, but if she is disoriented, it might be due to spreading to the brain. Please take that sentence with a grain of salt; I don't wish anything bad upon you by saying it. Furthermore, disorientation can also be caused by the immense stress she has endured lately. Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to speak with a psychologist?

Definitely take her. When we brought our patient in, he was rolling his eyes at us behind our backs because of where we were taking him, but honestly, who cares? My experience tells me this—take her. Don't kill off any hope until the very last second. Your mother isn't stupid; she knows what's happening, but you can never, ever strip away that sense of hope. OK? So yes, take her. Keep her encouraged with alternative options, nutrition, or whatever else works... just give her hope. OK?

As for what the doctor might do? I honestly don't know. He might turn her away, but he’ll likely be smart about it—claiming she needs to build up her strength before starting therapy and things like that. He won't just tell her to go home and say there's nothing left to do. You should prepare her for that possibility now, because it's going to be a rough ride when he eventually sends her home.

I don't check my PMs very often, so if you need anything, just reach out here, okay?