Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

quietpilot87 said:Today just completely broke me. 😢
I knew this was coming sooner or later. And well—here we are. It finally happened today.
My mom's roommate finally cleared out of her room, so I ended up hanging out at her place a little longer than planned. And honestly? I just totally lost it. I broke down—just full-on sobbing—because everything I’ve been bottling up started racing through my head all at once. I couldn't play the "cool and collected" role anymore, which is what I've been pulling off for the last two months. She gave me a huge hug, and that was it—I just crumbled even harder.
She’s just so small—honestly, she looks like a child—and yet she’s still so incredibly nurturing. It’s like those medications have just sucked all the fear and anxiety right out of her, leaving nothing behind but who she truly is: this beautiful, caring soul who doesn't even realize how sick she actually is. All she does is worry about everyone else—about her brother, about me... it's heartbreaking. And I don't cry in front of her, because I can't let her see me like that. I just hold her and weep, while she tells me what an amazing kid I am and how lucky she feels to have me. I've just completely broken—God, everything just feels like too much. I feel like I could have been such a better daughter a thousand times over. I should have seen the real HER, really understood her essence, instead of bickering with her so much. I should have hugged her more often and just told her the truth—that I love her more than anything and that she is absolutely wonderful.

And she doesn't have any complaints—honestly, she doesn't remember a single thing—she just wants me to be okay.
God, life just sucks sometimes.
My dearest, my absolute favorite... 😢

It’s going to get better. It really will. 🙂😘

quietpilot87 said:Today just completely wrecked me 😢
...
My dearest, my everything... 😢

🙂

quietpilot87 said:Today, I finally broke. 😢
I knew this moment was coming eventually. Well, today was the day.
My mom's roommate moved out, so I stayed over at her place a little longer than planned. And then, it just happened—I snapped. I started sobbing. A million thoughts came rushing through my head at once; I couldn't maintain that cold, detached shell I've been clinging to for the last two months. She hugged me, and I just crumbled even harder.
She’s so small now, almost like a child, yet she’s still so incredibly nurturing. It’s like those medications have sucked away all her anxiety and fear, leaving behind nothing but her true self: this beautiful, caring soul who isn't even fully aware of her own condition. Instead, she just worries about everyone else—about her brother, about me... I try to hide my tears so she won't see, hugging her while I weep, and she just tells me what an amazing daughter I am and how lucky she feels to have me. I just lost it, damn it all. I feel like I could have been a better daughter a thousand times over. I should have seen the real HER sooner, seen her essence, fought with her less, hugged her more, and told her the truth—how much I LOVE her and how incredible I think she is.

And she doesn't hold anything against me. She doesn't remember the friction; she just wants me to be okay.
Life is brutal.
My darling, my dearest... 😢

Tinchi, listen to me: you are exactly who you need to be. You are the most wonderful creature to your mother, and regardless of whether she thinks you did things perfectly or made mistakes, her love for you remains unchanged. Don't beat yourself up for breaking down in front of her... even if you hadn't, a mother knows her child. She feels everything you're going through. That's the bond between a mother and daughter.
You've been doing the absolute best you can. She's still here. Tell her you love her and tell her how wonderful she is. One day, hopefully much later, it might be too late to say these vital things.
Give her a huge hug—the kind of hug I would give her so desperately right now, a hug I haven't been able to give for a year.

Yeah, I hugged her. I held her tight, told her she was my everything and the absolute best—and I’ll say it a million more times if I have to. It feels stupid even typing this out, though... it sounds so damn cliché.

Thanks, guys. 🙂

More than anything, I just want her to know she was incredible—that she did a hell of a job in this life. Anyone who crossed paths with her felt blessed. She was the kind of soul who gave everything to everyone else without asking for a single thing in return, while the rest of us—well, we were just selfish assholes because we actually had the luxury to be. But she didn't see it that way. Even now, she's probably stuck in those thoughts, thinking she wasn't enough or didn't do enough. I just need her to know she was the best, and everything she did was perfect...

They say people turn ugly during times like this—get mean, get bitter. But her? She's still just my sweet girl. 🙂

quietpilot87 said:Yeah, I did. I hugged her, tight, and told her she’s my absolute favorite, the best ever—and honestly, I’ll say it a million more times if I have to. It feels kind of stupid even typing this out, though, because it sounds so cliché and cheesy...

Thanks, guys 🙂

More than anything, I just need her to realize how incredible she is and that she absolutely crushed it in this life. Anyone who crossed paths with her ended up better off, period. She was the type of soul who poured everything into everyone else without asking for a single thing in return, while the rest of us—well, let's be real, we were selfish assholes because we actually had the luxury to be. But she never saw it that way. Even now, she's stuck in those loops in her head, thinking she wasn't enough or didn't do enough. I just want her to know she was the best, and she did everything perfectly...

People say they get bitter during times like this, that they can turn really nasty... But her? She’s still just a sweetheart 🙂

Your mom is the luckiest woman alive because she raised such an amazing daughter. She knows. She knows how much you love her. God bless you.

To my brave warriors out there,
Tinchi,
If I could have had a kid, I’d want them just like you... but don't sell yourself short, you're doing everything right. You two share a bond that some people
might never experience in their entire lives—she has the real YOU, and you have the real HER, and that connection stays ALIVE forever.🙂

Nancy Thomas18,
I am so happy you checked in and that you're fighting so hard without backing down! 🙂
We're all waiting for those test results and the new game plan!

Aranza (Lela)
Welcome to the group. I'm also an ovarian cancer survivor, and I'd love to hear your story, whether it's on the Zanovidan forum or right here... either way.

Sending love to everyone else, I'm reading ALL of you. I'm right here with you, hang in there!

quietpilot87 said:Yes, I held her close—just hugged her tight—and told her she was my everything, the absolute best. And honestly? I’ll say it a million more times if I have to. It feels almost silly to write it all out like this, though—it sounds so terribly cliché. ...

Thanks, everyone 🙂

More than anything, I just want her to know how incredible she was—that she did such a damn good job in this life. Everyone she touched felt truly blessed. She was the kind of soul who gave everything to others without asking for a single thing in return—while the rest of us—well, we could be pretty selfish, let's face it—but she never saw it that way. Even now, she still worries—still thinks she wasn't enough or didn't do enough. I just want her to know she was the best, and that everything she did was perfect...

People say they can get bitter during times like this—that they can be unkind... But her? She’s still just my little girl 🙂

Oh, please—there is nothing cliché about what you're saying
.
I used to tell my dearest one, back when she was still with us, that she was the most beautiful and wonderful person ever—simply because... well, she was 😍😍
And how incredibly proud and grateful I am that she chose me to be her mom 😍.

My little duckling—exhausted and breathing through an oxygen mask—would just look at me and say, "Mom, can't you be quiet for even five minutes?!" My sweet little duckling 😍. 😍

Emotions are such a beautiful thing—really—and you should be happy you're able to express them 😘.

You did everything you could, so don't go second-guessing yourself. It was good that you let your feelings out. Just give her a hug and kiss for me... I lost my dad way too early. He suffered for a long time before he passed, and it was hard. Even though he’s been gone for a while now, for me, time just stands still—it feels like it was only yesterday that he closed his eyes. I often wonder if he could sense my own illness coming. His last words to my mom were, "Please help my Sneky..." This damn disease... it takes our loved ones away, but they stay with us forever. Tinchi, stay strong. You're wonderful, and your mom is so proud of you. Hang in there. Sending love to all the fighters out there.

Reading through your posts makes things a little easier to handle—honestly, it’s all 🙂
Thanks, truly, 🙂

She should be getting discharged from the hospital soon, at least that's the vibe we're getting. We already scouted out an alternative place for her to stay—she’s going to love it there, and it'll actually make it possible for us to get some decent quality time in with her...

quietpilot87 said:Today just completely broke me. 😢
I knew this moment would come eventually. Well, today was that day.
My mom’s roommate from her room left, so I stayed with her a little longer than planned. And I just snapped. I started crying, and everything just came rushing back at once. I couldn't maintain that numb, detached shell I've been clinging to for the last two months. She hugged me, and I just sobbed even harder.
She looks so small now, almost like a child, yet she's still so incredibly caring. It’s like those medications have stripped away all her fear and anxiety, leaving behind nothing but her true self—this beautiful, nurturing soul who doesn't even fully grasp what's happening to her. Instead, she just worries about everyone else, about her brother, about me... I try to hide my tears so she won't see, hugging her while I cry, and she just tells me what a wonderful daughter I am and how lucky she feels to have me. I just lost it. Honestly. I feel like I could have been such a better daughter. I should have seen the real HER sooner, focused more on her essence, argued less, and hugged her more often. I should have told her the truth more clearly—just how much I love her and how incredible I think she is.

And she holds no grudges. She doesn't remember the bad moments; she just wants me to be okay.
Life is just so hard sometimes.
My dearest, sweetest girl... 😢

It’s really hard for me to read this. When my dad told me he had cancer, my first reaction was just to cry. I think that’s a totally natural response. We cry when we're happy, we cry when we're scared, and we cry because we love someone... Sometimes, without saying a single word, those tears say everything that's bottled up inside us. It's been five months since his diagnosis, and I honestly feel like this illness has brought us closer than anything ever has. We've shown each other a level of love we never tapped into before. Your mom is so happy to have you, and she's so proud of the person you've become. Sending you a huge hug!

Thomas Alvarez19 said:I wanted to check in here myself after about six months have passed.
My dad finished four cycles of chemotherapy and underwent both a bronchoscopy and a CT scan.
The results showed that while the primary tumor shrunk just a tiny bit, two metastases appeared in his bones and in his left lung.
Today, my dad tried starting a second line of chemotherapy, but he reacted so poorly to it—it was almost like he slipped into a coma—that the doctor actually stopped the treatment entirely and told us they wouldn't be putting him through any more chemo.
His mental and physical state has been hit incredibly hard, which was made even worse by the news that Mom was also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
I am desperately looking for some advice or wondering who we can turn to... because according to the doctor, he’s basically been written off.

Has anyone here ever heard of the Isorel injections? I know there are three different types—Isorel A, M, and P—depending on the specific type of cancer and the stage.
I saw a post on the For a New Day foundation website from a woman dealing with microcellular lung cancer who has been using them for seven years now.
My dad is fighting Ewing sarcoma, and his private physician, Dr. Soltyšik, suggested Isorel A. as one of his immunological supplements.
We ended up ordering all the preparations through him, and they are being shipped from Austria toward the border.
Dad's blood counts are actually holding up quite well (definitely better than when he was on beta 1, 3 D-glucan, native propolis, and the other vitamins and supplements we were giving him), and he's been able to stay on schedule with his chemo, even though it's quite aggressive.

So, a few days ago our family hit a massive wall with a serious health crisis. My mom was just diagnosed with a liver tumor that’s already spread to her lymph nodes... and the doctor down in Miami basically told us there's nothing modern medicine can actually do for her.

Since we're stuck staring at a dead end with standard treatments, we're looking into alternative options, just like so many others have done before us... because honestly, what else is there to expect from that side of things? She’s still full of life, upbeat, and stays on the move, which is just how she's always been. So, I'm wondering, what have you guys experienced? Does anyone know who we could actually talk to for some kind of hope?

ruggedraven29 said:A few days ago, our family hit a wall—we’re dealing with a really heavy diagnosis. My mom was just diagnosed with a liver tumor that has already spread to her lymph nodes. The doctor down in Miami basically told us modern medicine has reached its limit with her.

Like so many others before us, we want to look into alternative treatments because there isn't much left to expect from the standard stuff. She’s still full of life, cheerful, and stays active—that's just who she's always been. What have your experiences been like? Who can we actually reach out to when we're looking for some kind of hope?

Hey everyone, to those fighting this and their families too!

Hang in there and don't back down!

quietpilot87, you honestly had me tearing up too...🙂...I think you're being incredibly brave...and you're clearly an amazing daughter to your mom...

ruggedraven29, I won't repeat myself too much, but here’s the short version: my mom was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma seven months ago. After three surgeries to clear out the metastases, she’s currently undergoing immunotherapy—which isn't really an option here in the States, so we went over to Germany (www.IMMUNTHERAPIE.org). She also completely overhauled her diet...

I highly recommend Dr. Soltyšik—he’s a favorite for a lot of people in this group!

If you want more details on the immunotherapy side of things, go back and read my old posts—and specifically check out what Dandelion wrote, she was pretty spot-on about all of this.

Sending so much love to you and your mom; keep fighting, and I really hope you win this battle for her health!

ruggedraven29 said:A few days ago, our family hit a wall when we were faced with a heavy diagnosis. My mom was diagnosed with a liver tumor that has already spread to her lymph nodes. The doctor down in Miami basically told us that modern medicine has reached its limit with her case.

Just like so many others before us, we want to look into alternative treatment paths because there isn't much left to expect from standard protocols. She’s still full of life, cheerful, and active—she's always been that way. What have your experiences been like? Who can we reach out to for some actual hope?

Use Google to hunt down specialized clinics that focus specifically on these kinds of cases. Once you track them down, send over copies of all the medical records and ask for their expert opinion. It might not be free, but it usually isn't so expensive that it's out of reach. You can handle the whole process via email.
From what I've seen secondhand, there is almost always an exit strategy offered to people who have been "written off." Unfortunately, in this country, doctors often throw up their hands the moment they don't see a path toward a permanent cure, which is a fundamentally flawed way to approach medicine. The goal here is to buy time, because plenty of brilliant drugs are just sitting in the wings waiting for the green light for clinical application.

Angela Wright said:Just hit up Google and search for specialized clinics that actually deal with these kinds of issues. Once you track them down, send over copies of all the test results and ask for a second opinion. It’s rarely free, but it shouldn't be so expensive that it breaks the bank. You can handle the whole thing via email.
From what I've seen through indirect experience, there's almost always a way out for people who have been deemed "hopeless." Unfortunately, here in the States, doctors often give up on patients if they don't see an immediate path to a permanent cure, which is a fundamentally flawed approach. The goal should be to buy time, especially since so many promising drugs are just sitting there waiting for the green light for clinical application.

For instance: The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston has a portal specifically for getting a second opinion. It costs about $500, and they provide you with several different treatment options.
The link is right here.

Hey everyone... just got my test results back, all neatly packaged and everything, but they’re pretty lousy news... inflammation in the intestines, swollen lymph nodes in the abdomen, and some nasty stuff on the colon scan... I'm really wondering what's going to come of all this...

Hey everyone,

I’m skipping the long medical explanations and the "can he be cured" debates. I just really need some help finding urgent placement and professional care for my dad...

The facts:
- He's 67.
- Smoked from age 15 to 65.
- Vascular atrophy.
- Oct 1st: mild stroke (coincidentally the first day of my mom's retirement). They also found a shadow on his lungs during this stay. Discharged Nov 14th to the pulmonary ward at Jordanovac.
- Oct 30th: Confirmed advanced adenocarcinoma in both lungs with metastasis—he's had chemo.
- Nov 2nd: Second stroke (which happened to be my birthday). This one was much worse; visible on the CT scan. Severe ischemia in the frontal lobe, onset of dementia. He doesn't recognize me or my mom, has no idea where or when he is, and currently has to be physically restrained to the bed.
- Nov 8th: Friday, 4:00 PM. The hospital says he’s being discharged this Monday, Nov 11th.

Given how difficult it would be to care for him at home in this state (catheters, IVs, restraints), I urgently need recommendations for a facility or nursing home that can take someone in his condition and provide dignified care. Fortunately, money isn't an issue for us right now.

From what we've gathered so far, it looks like most specialized facilities are completely full—especially with such a short turnaround before Monday.

Looking for info on:
- Which facilities are actually good and professional (even when we aren't there visiting)?
- What are the typical costs?
- Where is there availability right now?
- Any other good ideas?

Thanks in advance.
Best,

Nancy Thomas18 said:Hey everyone... my results finally arrived all neatly packaged, but they're absolute garbage. Intestinal inflammation, swollen lymph nodes in the abdomen, and some other crap on the ascending colon... I'm honestly just sitting here wondering what the hell is going to come of all this.

Come on, look—it might look grim right now, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the road. Just brace yourself, take the hits, and whatever happens, you're going to keep fighting. It’s going to get better, it has to! Hang in there and remember that you are one hell of a woman!😉

briskscout583 said:Hi everyone,

I’m going to skip the long-winded medical debates about cures or diagnoses and get straight to the point. I need some help finding urgent residential placement and professional nursing care for my dad...

The facts:
- He’s 67.
- Heavy smoker from age 15 to 65.
- Vascular system atrophy.
- October 1st: Suffered a mild stroke (which happened to be the first day of my mom's retirement). During that same visit, they found a shadow on his lungs. He was discharged on November 14th to the pulmonary unit at the local hospital.
- October 30th: Confirmed advanced adenocarcinoma in both lungs with metastases—he’s started chemotherapy.
- November 2nd: Second stroke (coincidentally on my birthday). This one was much worse; visible on the CT scan, severe ischemia in the frontal lobe. He’s developed dementia, doesn't recognize me or my mom, has no sense of time or place, and currently requires physical restraints to stay in bed.
- Friday, Nov 8th, 4:00 PM: The hospital informed us he’s being discharged this coming Monday, Nov 11th.

Given how incredibly difficult he is to care for in this state—dealing with catheters, IVs, and restraints—I urgently need recommendations for a facility or specialized care home that can take him and provide dignified nursing care. Fortunately, finances aren't an issue for us right now.

From what we’ve gathered so far, most facilities are completely full, especially with such short notice before Monday.

Please let me know:
- Which institutions are high-quality and professional (even when we aren't there to supervise)?
- What are the typical costs?
- Where is there actual availability?
- Any other good ideas?

Thanks in advance.
Best,

Look, you have a list of facilities on the "for a new day" association forum under the palliative care section. There isn't a magic shortcut here; you just have to sit down and start calling them one by one. Honestly, the situation is pretty much the same everywhere you look.
Your other option is to rent a hospital bed for the house (medical supply companies do this, and it costs roughly $100 bucks) and hire a private caregiver to stay with him at home. In many cases, that actually ends up being cheaper than a facility.
I am truly sorry things escalated so fast. Just keep in mind that it will mean the world to him if he gets to spend his final days surrounded by family, which, looking at the situation, seems likely. It will also matter deeply to you later on; you won't have to live with the crushing "what ifs" regarding whether you could have done more, and having that peace of mind is vital.😢.

briskscout583 said:Hi everyone,

I won't get bogged down in medical diagnoses or debates about potential cures; I’m reaching out because I desperately need some guidance regarding urgent placement and professional nursing care for my dad...

The facts:
- He is 67 years old.
- An active smoker from age 15 to 65.
- Vascular system atrophy.
- October 1st: Suffered a mild stroke (which coincidentally was my mom's first day of retirement)—during this time, they also discovered a shadow on his lungs. He was discharged from the hospital on November 14th to a pulmonary specialist facility near Jordanovac.
- October 30th: Diagnosed with advanced adenocarcinoma in both lungs with metastases—he has already started chemotherapy.
- November 2nd: A second stroke (right on my birthday)—this one was much more severe, clearly visible on the CT scan. It caused heavy ischemia in the frontal lobe, leading to dementia. He doesn't recognize me or my mother, has no sense of time or place, and currently requires physical restraints to stay in bed.
- Friday, Nov 8th, 4:00 PM: The hospital informed us he will be discharged this coming Monday, Nov 11th.

Given how incredibly difficult it would be to provide care for him at home in his current state (managing catheters, IVs, and being bedridden/restrained), I urgently need recommendations for a facility or nursing home that can accept someone in his condition and provide dignified care. (Fortunately, finances aren't an issue for us right now).

From what we've gathered so far, most facilities seem to be completely full, especially those with immediate availability by Monday.

I am looking for information on:
- Which institutions are reputable and professional (even when we aren't there visiting)?
- What are the typical costs?
- Where might there actually be an opening?
- Any other suggestions?

Thanks in advance.
Best,

I placed my mother in a facility near the outskirts of town, and I have to say, they were professional until the very end. For the first three weeks, there is no cost (unfortunately, my mother only survived eight days, as she had advanced cancer). You proceed via a referral from a primary care physician—just ask the hospital staff to write a recommendation. After the initial three weeks, you pay for a month, and then you can go back to having three weeks covered. Visiting hours are every afternoon and on weekends.
Whatever you do, don't even consider that place in New Marof; I've heard nothing but bad things about them from pretty much everyone.

Good luck.