Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Angela Wright said:Because this is such an incredibly brutal season—not just for the patients, but for their families and everyone close to them—and because our society fails so miserably to provide decent psychological support, I decided to start this forum. I’ve been right there in the trenches myself, so I wanted to create a space where those of us who have lived through this can offer actual advice and real support to one another.

Post here. At the very least, I will always be here to reply, offer some perspective, or just sit with you while things are falling apart—because sometimes being a bystander to the struggle is even harder than fighting the disease itself.

I’ve personally walked through hell, and honestly, I’m still walking through it. No one should ever have to face this alone.

Big hugs to everyone.

I stumbled onto this thread by accident. My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer last year. It was pure hell.
I just wanted to mention that if you need psychological help, you can reach out to a hospice center—specifically the ones in major cities like Chicago or New York. That doesn't mean you or your loved ones are "done," but they do have psychologists on staff. They helped us immensely—so much so that I’m actually thinking about volunteering with them. It blows my mind that patients and their families are often left to fend for themselves against cancer; thank God for the internet. Sending good vibes to you all!

Megan Lewis said:I stumbled onto this thread by accident. My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer last year, and let me tell you—we went through absolute hell.
I wanted to mention that if you're looking for psychological support, you might want to reach out to a hospice center—specifically the ones located in major cities like Chicago or New York. I don't mean to imply that you or your loved ones are beyond help, but they actually have professionals on staff who specialize in this. They were a massive help to us, and honestly, I’ve been thinking about signing up to volunteer there myself. It blows my mind that patients facing these kinds of battles and their families are often just left to fend for themselves against cancer. Thank goodness for the internet, though. Sending strength to everyone out there!

Thanks for the heads-up!
I’m familiar with how they operate. I actually reached out to them personally to ask for help, and while they did respond, it wasn't quite the level of support I was hoping for. But honestly, you can't blame them—they’re working entirely on a volunteer basis. From what I understand, they aren't receiving any federal grants or government subsidies yet because they're stuck navigating some ridiculous bureaucratic red tape. The way they run things is through a triage system; they prioritize their resources to assist low-income families and the elderly or disabled who have been left without anyone to look after them. Because of that, my situation falls into a lower priority tier. What I get is basically just professional medical advice and some volunteer assistance three times a week for an hour starting around 1:00 PM. Technically speaking, it doesn't move the needle much for me. All the heavy lifting and major interventions happen during the morning hours when I'm on my own, and by the afternoon, I already have my dad helping me out.
For the most part, I’ve got nothing but praise for them.👍

Check out this site regarding hospice care services here in the States:

This is my first time posting here. My family is currently fighting a battle with cancer ourselves. It all started about two years ago, right around this time of year, when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. We were absolutely blindsided. After two surgeries and rounds of chemo, things seemed to be heading in the right direction, but he had a follow-up appointment yesterday and found out it’s back. As a family, we’ve really pulled together to face everything life throws at us, and I’m holding onto the hope that we can get through this too.
I’m fully behind your ideas for starting an association for families dealing with these kinds of illnesses. I know there’s going to be a massive uphill battle ahead, but I’m staying optimistic that everything will turn out okay.

Anonymous said:This is my first time posting here. My family is currently fighting cancer, too. It all started about two years ago, right around this time of year, when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. It hit us like a ton of bricks. After two surgeries and rounds of chemo, things seemed to be heading in the right direction, but he had a follow-up yesterday and it’s back. We’ve been sticking together as a family through everything so far, so I’m really hoping we can pull through this one together, too.
I am fully behind your ideas for setting up an association for families dealing with these kinds of illnesses. I know there's a massive uphill battle ahead of us, but I'm holding onto the hope that everything will turn out okay.

Welcome to the group!
I hope you've had a chance to look over the posts from lepine. He went through the exact same thing with colon cancer and a recurrence, just like your dad, and he managed to beat it his own way!

I’m sitting here staring out at the clouds, trying my absolute hardest to hold back the tears so I don't just completely sink under the weight of everything, because I really need to be the strong, steady rock for my mom right now.
The doctors actually told my dad that it's nothing short of a miracle that she's even still with us... it feels like some kind of dark omen...
I’m doing my best to push those words out of my head, even though deep down I know things have taken such a sharp, scary turn for the worse over these last few days...

I am praying every single day for the strength to keep myself from breaking down, so that I can focus on showering my mother with all the love, courage, and peace she needs...
Oh, my sweet girl, my precious little one, I love you with every single fiber of my being.

Michelle Hernandez43 said:I find myself staring up at the clouds, trying my best not to let the tears fall too heavily—I don't want to sink under the weight of it all. My mother needs me to be her rock, steady and calm.
The doctors told my dad it’s nothing short of a miracle that she’s even still with us... It feels like some kind of dark omen...
I try my hardest to push those words out of my mind, even though I know deep down that things have taken a sharp, painful turn for the worse over these last few days...

I just pray I can find the strength to hold it together, so that I can offer my mother nothing but love, fortitude, and peace..
My darling girl, my sweet, fragile little girl, I love you with everything I am.

Sending you all the strength in the world to get through this. You have to stay strong, and please know I'm sending a huge hug and my full support.

Hey everyone!
Shout out to Angela Wright and the rest of the community.
Look, I haven’t battled cancer myself, so I can't give you any "personal experience" advice on how to fight this beast. But, I do have some good news for you—and I'm not talking about false hope.
You’ve probably heard people on this forum mention Dr. Johanna Budwig. About 55 years ago, she identified the root cause of cancer and went on to help patients with a 90% success rate.
She’s one of those rare individuals who actually dug deep into the core of the issue. She used science to prove what was happening and found answers to a disease that didn't even exist 200 years ago...
The cause is toxicity, obviously, but most people don't realize which kind. The answer? Bad fats, refined sugar, and a few other things we now know trigger the disease.
According to Dr. Budwig, the biggest culprit is the hydrogenation of vegetable oils. When you eat those kinds of oils, they basically suffocate your cells. They stop breathing. The cell goes anaerobic and stops using oxygen for fuel, switching over to sugar instead. To make matters worse, for the last 30 years, we've been told our diet should be up to 70% carbohydrates—mostly just refined flour, processed sugar, and junk.
I won't ramble on, but I'll soon be printing her book, CANCER - THE PROBLEM AND THE SOLUTION, where everything is laid out clearly. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging...
Here is the basic stuff you need to start doing right now:
1. Flip your diet completely: raw fruits and veggies, fresh juices, oats, buckwheat, brown rice, then nuts and seeds like pumpkin or sunflower seeds...
2. Get some sun (just try not to burn during the summer)
3. Get away from stressful environments (stress is a major driver of cancer)
4. And most importantly to start: take one tablespoon of unrefined, cold-pressed flaxseed oil mixed with two tablespoons of fresh organic cream cheese (get it from a local farmer's market). Mix it into a thick paste so the essential fatty acids from the oil bind with the essential amino acids from the cheese to create lipoproteins. You can eat this combo up to three times a day.
If you want more info, just Google Johanna Budwig or check out this site: http://www.johanna-budwig.de
Hang in there and don't lose hope. DV

slyseal28 said:I’m sending you all my strength to help you get through this—you have to stay strong—and I'm sending a huge hug and a helping hand right along with it.

Thank you so much, truly.
I'll admit, I feel like I'm losing my footing just a little bit right now, even though I know I really need to keep my head on straight.
Sending big hugs to you and everyone else; I hope you all find the strength and the love you need to keep fighting.

slymoose4 said:Hey everyone!
The absolute first thing you need to start doing is:

3. Get the hell away from stressful environments (stress is a known trigger for cancer)
DV

Honestly, trying to live a life completely free of stress nowadays? In my opinion, that's about as realistic as winning the Powerball jackpot.😁

Michelle Hernandez43 said:Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I feel like I’m losing my footing a bit, even though I know I need to stay composed.
Sending hugs to you and everyone else—may you all find the strength and love needed to keep fighting.

Man, if I could actually help you... I’d probably be helping myself in the process. All I can tell you is that this is just LIFE. It is what it is, and there isn't much we can do besides accept it and try to find a way to make peace with the reality. I personally try to frame things by looking at what benefits I've managed to squeeze out of this entire situation. You wouldn't believe it, but I've gained more insight from this than I did in my entire life leading up to
my mom's illness.
1. I broke out of my shell and finally realized that true security doesn't exist in this world. There is only the struggle to maintain the illusion of safety.

2. I made peace with that reality and accepted it.

3. I recognized God's pragmatism through His will and His divine providence. Honestly, witnessing God's providence has been one of the greatest realizations of my life. Throughout this endless struggle—through those moments where everything felt unbearable—the very things I was desperately praying for appeared out of thin air through the most bizarre circumstances, lightening my "cross" to bear.

4. I've learned how to somewhat accept God's will. That is incredibly difficult, and it's arguably the single biggest lesson a believer ever faces. Once someone learns to accept God's will with a sense of peace, there isn't an obstacle in this life they won't be able to overcome.

5. I realized how little you actually need to live. Things that used to be massive priorities for me have been completely ignored lately because I've realized I don't actually need them; they were nothing more than dead weight causing unnecessary stress.

6. I found out who my real friends are. Turns out, there are very, very few of them. I'm actually grateful for that filter.

7. I discovered just how adaptable a human being can be. I thank God for that gift.

8. I've started finding joy and excitement in the tiny details I used to overlook—details that reveal a whole beautiful, undiscovered world.

9. I've learned that positive energy has to circulate; when something good happens to me, I have to pass it on to others... keep the momentum going!

10. I have decided to keep fighting this disease, regardless of how my mom's illness ends. Every person battling this has a demon inside them, and I intend to spend my entire life breathing down that demon's neck!

Through her sickness, my mother has paved the way for a better, healthier future for me. I am truly going to live every single day to the fullest, as if it were my last!
Thank you, Mom.😘

Angela Wright, thank you so much! You explained everything so beautifully, and honestly, I am just so happy for you that you’ve reached this kind of clarity—it’s wonderful to see how you let the pain refine you instead of letting it break your spirit. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, hope you keep moving forward exactly like this, and that even in your toughest moments, you always find that deep well of love inside you to give you all the strength you need.

Thank you.

I have to admit, there’s a huge sense of relief in knowing I’m not walking this path alone. When I first found out about my dad's diagnosis, my entire world just collapsed—I couldn't stop crying. But eventually, we pulled ourselves together, and as a family, we've started moving forward together. We’ve basically had to accept our new reality and just take things one day at a time, living for today and letting tomorrow be what it will be. We still aren't even sure when his chemotherapy will officially start; everything feels so up in the air right now, but I’m still holding onto the hope that things will turn out okay. I think I’m being pretty grounded about it because I know how serious his condition is, but I can't help but believe things will improve. Mostly, I just want to say thank you to everyone here for sharing your advice and your own life stories. You guys are truly giving me hope for a better tomorrow.

Anonymous said:I have to admit, it feels so much lighter knowing I'm not walking through this alone. When I first found out about my dad's illness, my whole world just came crashing down—I couldn't stop crying for days. But eventually, we all pulled ourselves together, and as a family, we've just started moving forward together. We’ve simply accepted that this is our reality now, and we're focusing on getting through today while leaving tomorrow to whatever comes our way. We still aren't quite sure when he'll actually start chemotherapy, so everything feels so uncertain right now, but I keep holding onto the hope that things will work out okay. I think I'm being pretty realistic because I know his condition is incredibly tough, but I can't help but believe things will get better. Honestly, I just want to thank everyone here for sharing your advice and your own life stories. You guys are truly giving me hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Just keep staying positive, because that's going to be such a huge help to your dad. You really have to hold onto hope, because that's the kind of strength your father is going to feel from you, and it'll give him the power to keep fighting.
It doesn't matter how "impossible" the situation looks right now; recovery is always a possibility because life is essentially one big fight. And since your dad has such great people in his corner helping him through this battle, he has every chance to come out on top.
Hang in there!

Has anyone here actually tried Immunomax before?

I reached out to their office over in Salem, and they told me that if someone is undergoing chemotherapy or radiation, they should be taking about one box a day. But get this—one single box runs you $57!
That works out to roughly $170 a day for a full month. 😲

If it actually does something, then maybe it’s worth the gamble, but if it’s just expensive placebo... 😕

So, if anyone has any firsthand experience with this stuff, please reach out. 🙏

Angela Wright said:Oh dear—if only I could truly help you... though I suspect helping you might just end up helping myself, too. All I can really say is that this is simply LIFE. It is what it is, and there isn't much we can do except accept it and find a way to make peace with it. Personally, I try to frame things by looking at the silver linings I've managed to pull from this situation. You wouldn't believe it, but I've actually gained more from this than my entire life leading up to
my mom's illness.
1. I finally broke out of my shell and realized that true security doesn't exist in this world—there is only the struggle to maintain the illusion of it.

2. I have come to terms with and accepted the reality mentioned in point one.

3. I have witnessed God's pragmatism through His will, as well as His divine providence. That providence is honestly one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. Throughout this constant struggle—where there were moments that felt truly unbearable—the things I desperately needed appeared through the most unexpected circumstances, lightening my "cross" to bear.

4. I am learning to somewhat accept God's will. It is incredibly difficult—perhaps the greatest lesson a believer can face. Once you learn to accept His will with peace, there is no obstacle in life you cannot overcome.

5. I've realized how little one actually needs to live. Things that used to be so important to me have been completely cast aside, because I see now they weren't necessary—they were just burdens causing unnecessary stress.

6. I've discovered who my real friends are. There are very, very few of them. I'm actually quite grateful for that filter.

7. I've learned just how adaptable a person can be. I thank God for that gift.

8. I have started to enjoy and celebrate the tiny details I used to overlook—they hold an entire beautiful, undiscovered world.

9. I've learned that positive energy needs to circulate; when something good happens to me, I have to pass it on to others... just keep it moving!

10. I have decided to keep fighting this disease, regardless of the outcome of my mother's illness. Every person suffering carries a demon within, and I intend to spend my whole life breathing down its neck!

Through her illness, my mother has secured a better, healthier future for me. I truly intend to live every single day to the fullest, as if it were my last!
Thank you, Mom.😘

you are just overflowing with inspiration😘 🙏

Warm greetings to everyone...

I’ve been skimming through some of the posts—please forgive me, but I just haven't had the strength to read everything yet, as the tears started flowing quite suddenly and rather painfully....

I suppose I feel a bit of regret that I wasn't able to talk things through with anyone (specifically those who were walking a similar path) while everything was actually happening—back when the pain was fresh, and even later when things ended up being even more difficult than expected.
It really is heartening to see that there is support available here—that there's a space where we can all gather, find some virtual comfort, and offer advice to one another...
As for my own story.... perhaps another time. Right now, I truly am not up to it. It hurts quite badly....

Last year, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer.
I don't even know how I managed to stay as cold as ice so she wouldn't sense what was happening inside me. I just funneled all my strength into her and everyone else around us, but I did it.
She’s on her last (hopefully) round of chemo. In two weeks, she has her follow-up with the oncologist at the Mayo Clinic, and then we'll see.
After the initial shock, I just told myself: #we are all mortal, deal with it#. Somehow I managed to run away from those dark thoughts and just move forward. I told my brothers and sisters plainly that I am taking charge of her care, and they can help me if I ask. Even though there are several of us, she trusts me most, and I have the most influence over her. It turned out to be the best solution because I'm not working right now, so I can be by her side constantly—waiting hours for doctors, picking up referrals, getting medications, etc. The others step in when I call. I feel more secure knowing everything will get done correctly if I handle it myself.
Throughout this whole process, our roles have completely reversed. She’s like my child, and I’m her mother.
There is an endless list of things you have to manage for a patient like this—referrals, insurance paperwork, tracking which doctor needs to see her and when to schedule specific exams.
I had no clue about any of this initially. I just took it one step at a time and learned as I went, but it would have been a hundred times easier if I could have talked to someone with actual experience.
The only reason I registered here is to help anyone else who might need advice.
To start with: you can get a CT scan in Chicago using a referral (IT'S FREE) at DIAGNOSTICS 2000 on Martićev Street much faster than at any hospital.
Oh, and the ostomy patient association didn't even bother to reply to my email.
I was looking for dietary advice. The hospital provides such a meager description of nutrition; half the meals aren't even fully listed, so you have no idea what is allowed. At first, she was on a very rigorous diet, and then she slowly started eating certain things again. But she still can't have onions, peppers, beans, peas, pork, or cabbage...
The worst part is that in the 21st century, you can't find basic information, and everyone assumes that once someone close to them gets sick, they suddenly become experts on the disease. I wrote this out a bit messily, but how am I supposed to know what a lab report means and judge her condition based on that? In the beginning, people kept asking me all sorts of stupid questions and telling me to "go talk to the doctor." I discussed this with my mom, and we agreed that I won't speak to the doctors—except immediately after surgery. After that, I stopped engaging with those comments and stopped trying to study the reports myself. I just take Mom to the hospital, hand her the papers, and let her talk to the doctors while I wait outside. Whatever she wants to tell me, she tells me. I read what they wrote, and that's it.
In situations like this, it seems best to just go step by step, day by day. The worst thing you can do is jump into the future, because then you're basically in a coma. Whatever will be, will be...
I could write forever about this, so if I can be of any help, I'm here.

s
you really do find yourself worse off

Been away for a minute and wow, looks like a bunch of new faces have joined the party. (sad times!)
slyseal28, I think I already gave you all the info I had on Immunomax over in the private messages.

So, I started this project to build a website—it’s live now, just waiting for a crew of people willing to jump in and help me turn it into a massive "guidebook for cancer survival."

In a perfect world, I’d handle the whole thing myself, but my wife Mary is actually starting her chemo sessions this week👎 and the protocol they have planned isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.

I’m putting the call out one more time: if you know your stuff and want to write for the site, please reach out! We’ve got the concept down, but we desperately need a designer and a few more hands on deck to get everything fully operational.

mistyridge5 said:Warm wishes to everyone...

I’ve been reading through some of the posts here—please forgive me, I just didn't have the strength to finish them all because the tears started flowing so fast and hit so hard....

I really wish I had someone to talk to (people who were actually walking the same path) about everything while it was happening, while we were all hurting, and even later when things ended on such a painful note.
It’s good to see there’s support here, though. It’s good to know there's a place where people can gather and offer virtual comfort or advice...
As for my own story.... maybe some other time. Right now, I honestly just can't. It hurts too much....

Just keep writing. It helps to get it out; don't suffer in silence for too long...

slyseal28 said:Has anyone actually tried Nature's Bounty?

I called the company over in Salem, and they told me someone going through chemo or radiation should be taking about a box a day. And one box costs $57!
That's like 30 days x $170.00 a month! 😲

If this stuff actually works, it might be worth the gamble, but if it’s a waste of money... 😕

So, if you've been there, please reach out. 🙏

Respect, Catherine,

Send me your email address so I can shoot over the full documentation regarding Nature's Bounty.