Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Dear fellow members, I am reaching out to Angela Wright and anyone else who might be able to offer some guidance.
My spouse was recently diagnosed with lung cancer here at the Mayo Clinic—they confirmed it via cytological puncture.
The current plan is to move straight into radiation and chemotherapy, which feels incredibly rushed since they haven't even pinpointed the specific type of tumor yet. To make matters worse, the equipment they intend to use for radiation looks like it belongs in a museum from the 1950s. On top of all this, the medical staff isn't offering even a shred of hope regarding a cure, and
here in San Francisco, there aren't any support groups or organizations available to help patients and their families navigate this nightmare.
So, I have a few questions—do you think it would be wiser to transfer him to Washington, D.C.? Does anyone know if lung cancer treatment tends to be more successful abroad? Furthermore, does anyone have experience with alternative therapies—specifically the Numbers method—and can such treatments be used alongside pain medication? He is currently suffering from excruciating pain.
Please, if you could respond quickly, I would appreciate it; we are at a crossroads and need to decide our next move immediately.
Best regards, and thank you in advance.
electricgardener14

electricgardener14 said:Hey everyone, I'm looking for some advice from Angela Wright and anyone else who might be able to help.
My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer at the Mayo Clinic via cytological puncture.
They want to start him on radiation and chemo without even confirming the specific tumor type first. To make matters worse, the equipment they plan to use for radiation looks like it's straight out of the 1950s. On top of all that, they aren't offering any hope for a cure, and
here in San Francisco, there aren't any support groups available for patients or their families.
So, here are my questions: do you think it would be better to move him to Washington, D.C.? Do you know if lung cancer treatment is more successful abroad? Also, does anyone have experience with alternative therapies, like the Numbers method, and can that be done alongside pain medication, since he's in terrible pain?
Please get back to me quickly; we need to decide our next move immediately.
Thanks in advance for everything.
electricgardener14

Look, based purely on my own criminal track record with Johns Hopkins Hospital—which spans my entire life and includes every single family member I've ever had treated there—I’d suggest moving him to Washington, D.C., specifically to Jordan.
If they're giving such a bleak prognosis, I'm assuming it might be small cell carcinoma, though I don't see how they can base that on anything unless the cells pulled during the puncture weren't clear enough to identify the specific type. You can find an open thread on this topic right here, including a post I wrote about a woman from St. Louis.

I know things are absolutely dire right now, but try to frame it as though you don't actually know anything yet; all you know is that *something* is happening. Try not to panic—and for heaven's sake, don't panic in front of your husband—and just focus on getting him to Washington, D.C., as fast as possible.

Thanks for getting back to me, Jane. Honestly, I’m just sitting here feeling pretty anxious about how things might progress once the Temozolide kicks in—it feels like once that starts, everything is going to move at lightning speed...

Angela Wright said:Hey dear, any updates?
I hope everything is still under control.🙂

Thanks for asking, Jane. I'm happy to share an update: Thank God, things are under control and looking good. The brain MSCT scan with contrast performed last Friday showed absolutely no sign of recurrence or remaining tumor tissue.
Our next follow-up—a brain MRI—is scheduled for three months from now.
Right now, a massive weight of uncertainty has been lifted from our shoulders, and we are feeling incredibly relieved.
That said, we aren't delusional; we know we've essentially just delayed what might inevitably arrive at some point down the road. It could be tomorrow, in a few days, months, years, or maybe it never happens. We might not have the power to change the diagnosis itself, but we can lean into our faith in God, who gives us the strength to endure this and the courage to believe that a victory is actually possible.
Thank you all for the help, the support, and for standing by us.
I wish everyone here strength, courage in the fight, and hope for recovery. There are always people out there beating even the most aggressive diseases. Why shouldn't it be us or those we love most?

Best regards to everyone,

Anonymous said:Does "30 radiation sessions" mean five treatments spread out over six months, or does it mean getting hit with radiation every single day for a month?

A full month of radiation—we’re talking 30 days straight, excluding weekends.

I need some serious advice here. Does anyone actually know what I should be drinking and at what intervals during a 42-day fast? Like, specifically, what kind of teas am I looking at, how many times a day should I be having them, etc.? This is urgent, thanks...

Has anyone here heard of the Legal Regulation product? Does anyone actually have any real information on it? It’s being distributed by Nature Life here in the States, and word on the street is that it boosts the immune system and works wonders for everything—even cancer.

Hey everyone, I could really use some help!

Does anyone here know of a great psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in working with patients facing serious illnesses (like malignant diseases) in the San Francisco area?
Ideally, it would be amazing if they could even do home visits—I’m not entirely sure if that’s a common thing people do nowadays—but getting my mom out of the house is just such a massive struggle because she’s almost completely immobile. If home visits aren't an option, though, we'll find a way to make it work and get her there...
Over the last five years of her illness, she has truly been through absolutely everything imaginable (and honestly, I don't even want to go into all the details, because I know you guys understand how heavy this can be), but these last six months have been particularly brutal. It's reached a point where, on top of everything else, she's having these intense panic attacks. An ER doctor actually diagnosed them recently and prescribed her Normabel, along with a patch for relief...
I'm feeling a bit lost myself on what the best next step is... even if it's just for her to have one single conversation with someone, because these attacks just won't stop. Plus, she keeps telling me herself that she’d really love to talk to a psychiatrist, even though she spent her entire life being totally against the whole idea...
If you know of anyone or have heard any recommendations, please feel free to send them my way via private message.

Thank you all so much!

Sending you all huge hugs filled with love!

Michelle Hernandez43 said:Hey everyone, I really need some help here.

Does anyone know a good psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in working with patients facing terminal illness (malignant disease) in the San Francisco area?
Ideally, if someone could even do home visits—I’m not sure if that’s even a thing anymore—because getting my mom out of the house is nearly impossible since she’s almost completely immobile. If that’s not an option, we’ll figure something out...
Over the last five years of her illness, she’s been through absolutely everything imaginable (I don't even want to go into detail, you all know how it goes), but these last six months have been especially brutal. It’s reached a point where, on top of everything else, she’s having severe panic attacks. An ER doctor diagnosed them and prescribed Normabel (plus a patch)...
I’m honestly at a loss for what to do... even just one session with a professional might help, because these attacks just won't stop. She keeps saying herself that she wants to talk to a psychiatrist, even though she spent her whole life being totally against the idea...
If you know anyone or have heard of someone, please send me a private message.

Thank you!

Sending you all big hugs and lots of love!

My mom’s panic attacks actually stopped once I brought a priest to her room to give her the Anointing of the Sick and hear her confession. They talked in her room for two hours. Since then, she hasn't been afraid of anything.
I don't know exactly what he said to her, but she often mentions later how our local priest is a saint.
If she’s a believer, I truly think a kind, compassionate priest having a real conversation with her would do more good than a psychologist or psychiatrist who mostly just "processes" you through an appointment. It would also be just as helpful if she could connect with people who are going through the exact same situation she is.
My mom was always quite emotional and prone to crying, which is something I mentioned once before in her profile.

Hey everyone, I’ve been away for a while—not by choice, really, but because things were finally looking up for Mom, though just four days ago everything took a turn for the worse again. After her brain surgery, we brought her home to focus on the Temozolide and physical therapy, and just when I thought we were hitting our stride and ready to ramp up the exercises, she started choking... it was terrifying, she was crying out so loudly... now she’s on a constant dose of Trodon, at least according to her doctor... I honestly don't know what's happening, maybe it's metastases now, or maybe something else entirely, I just can't tell anymore... it's all so heavy, and I find myself spiraling, wondering what the point of any of this is, losing someone so young at thirteen, and now, just when Mom was finally supposed to start making memories with her grandkids, this happens, it feels like one thing after another. It isn't that I'm questioning whether good and evil exist, it's just that I can't wrap my head around why the hardest hits always seem to land on the best people.
The way these doses of Trodon have hit her... it’s left her in this state of total disorientation, if you can even call it that, where it’s almost impossible to establish any kind of connection with her, just... it's devastating.

Ryan Fisher64 said:Hey everyone, I’ve been offline for a while—not by choice, but because things were actually starting to look up for my mom. Then, just four days ago, everything took a turn for the worse. After her stroke, we brought her home to continue with the medication and physical therapy, and just when I thought we were finally gaining momentum with her exercises, she started choking... dangerously so. She was screaming in pain. Now she’s constantly on a dose of Trodon, per her doctor's orders. I honestly don't know what's happening; I suspect it might be metastases, but at this point, I'm lost. It’s devastating. I keep asking myself what the point of any of this is. I lost my old man when I was only 13, and now, just when Mom was supposed to finally start enjoying her grandkids, this happens. How much more can we take? It’s not that I’m questioning the existence of good and evil, it’s just that I can't wrap my head around why bad things seem to hit the best people so relentlessly.
These doses of Trodon have left my mom in a state of complete disorientation; it's like trying to reach someone who isn't even there anymore. To put it bluntly: it's a nightmare.

Look, I hate to be the one to say it, but life doesn't play favorites. These tragedies strike the good and the bad with the exact same indifference. That's just the way the world works.😳
I am truly sorry things have taken such a dark turn, but there could be a dozen different reasons for her current condition. Don't just sit back—stay aggressive. Demand that they run every single test possible to find a concrete cause. Don't let despair win; fight for her, and fight for your kids, so they at least get that time together.

Angela Wright said:Honey, unfortunately, these kinds of things happen to everyone—good people and bad alike... life just doesn't pick favorites, you know?😳
I’m so sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse, but honestly, there could be so many different factors contributing to her condition... Just stay persistent and push for them to redo any tests that might actually point toward something meaningful. Don't lose hope; just keep fighting for her and for your kids, so they can all be there for one another.

It’s just that I have no idea how I’m supposed to get those tests done when she’s in constant pain and barely able to move... I just can't keep pushing her like this every single day,

Ryan Fisher64 said:I just don't know how I'm supposed to get these tests done when she's in constant pain and completely immobile; I can't just drag her around every single day.

You’re going to have to pull some strings—whether it's a connection, a formal arrangement, or just a heavy-duty favor—to get her admitted to the hospital for a single day. You need to arrange for medical transport to pick her up based on a referral from her primary care doctor, and then get all those tests knocked out at once.
My mom is also completely immobile—full tetraplegia—and we handled it by working directly through her oncologist. She would coordinate with her colleagues to pick a specific day for my mom to come in, they'd tuck her into an available bed, and then they'd shuttle her around to all the various tests. In the end, we had medical transport bring her back home.

You have to face the reality that we live in a system where nobody is going to lift a finger for you unless you take matters into your own hands.

There’s also the "shortcut," which is calling 911 over the weekend when things take a turn for the worse. Given her medical history, they’ll likely admit her, keep her overnight, and run the necessary tests while she's there.

Here is yet another miserable, broken soul struggling against this cruel disease within my own family. My father has been battling cancer for a year and a half now—chemotherapy, radiation, you name it—yet our brilliant doctors still can't even pinpoint where the primary tumor is located. Everything seemed fine until they suddenly discovered four metastases in his brain. How does one even cope with this? How am I supposed to accept the loss of the person who means everything to me? Help.

Elizabeth Collins60 said:Here is another broken, grieving soul fighting this cruel disease within the family. My father has been battling cancer for a year and a half now—chemo, radiation, you name it—yet our brilliant doctors still can't even pinpoint where the primary tumor started. Everything seemed fine until they suddenly discovered four metastases in his brain. How do you deal with this? How do you accept the loss of the person who means everything to you? Help.

It’s incredibly hard, absolutely, but it is possible to survive this.😳 You have to hold onto that belief. We talk about this constantly on this board. Just scroll through the pages. There are moments when I feel completely crushed, and I find myself starting from page one, reading through this entire forum just to breathe again. Sometimes, it's actually surreal how my own old posts can end up lifting me up and giving me the strength to keep going.
Unfortunately, you are part of a massive group of people enduring the absolute worst life can throw at you, but you shouldn't—and really, you shouldn't have to—face this alone. Know that you aren't isolated; somewhere out there, someone is lying awake at night trembling under the weight of the exact same dark thoughts you're having right now.
Don't give up!😘

Ryan Fisher64 said:Hey everyone, sorry I've been MIA for a while—to be honest, I stayed away because things were actually starting to look up for my mom, but then everything took a turn for the worse about four days ago. After her stroke, we brought her home to continue with her medication and massage therapy, and just when I thought we were finally hitting our stride and could ramp up the exercises, she started choking... it was terrifying, she was crying out so loudly. Now she’s on a constant dose of Trodon, because that's what the doctor decided... I honestly don't know what's happening, maybe it's metastases spreading, or who knows anymore... it's just devastating. I find myself questioning the whole point of it all; I lost my dad when I was only 13, and now, just when Mom was finally supposed to start enjoying her grandkids, this happens. How much more can one person take? It's not that I'm doubting the existence of good and evil, it's just that I truly don't understand why bad things seem to happen to such wonderful people so often.
The Trodon doses have left Mom in this state where, how should I put it, she feels completely lost; it's almost impossible to even make contact with her now, it's just awful!!!

I am so incredibly sorry you're going through this. I know things feel unimaginably heavy right now, but you really have to try and find a way to pull yourself together and push back those negative thoughts. They just end up burying you deeper and making the suffering so much harder to bear.
Try to follow what Angela Wright suggested, whether that's reaching out through a connection or just calling 911...
Then you can just take it from there. One day at a time.
Even if it feels like it's getting harder to reach your mom right now, I truly believe she can still feel your love.

Sending you so much positive energy!
Hang in there!

Elizabeth Collins60 said:Here is just another poor, heartbroken soul fighting this cruel disease within my family. My dad has been battling cancer for a year and a half now, going through all the chemo and radiation, and yet our wonderful doctors still can't even pinpoint where the primary tumor actually is. Everything seemed to be going okay until the day they discovered four metastases in his brain. How do you even deal with something like this? How do you prepare yourself for the loss of the person who means absolutely everything to you? Please, help.

Dearest Elizabeth Collins60, I truly wish there were words in existence that could comfort you and give you the strength you need right now, but sometimes words just feel so small...
I can only share my own experience and what helps me get through my darkest moments, which is trying not to dwell on tomorrow or spiraling into those "what if..." thoughts.
Whenever I feel myself starting to spiral and fall apart, I try my hardest to pull myself back to the here and now, focusing solely on what I can do for my mom in this exact moment...
I think the hardest part is really accepting the suffering and the pain—meaning, just accepting it and carrying it, rather than fighting against it... because when we resist, we just burn through all our precious energy and strength... and we can't simply snatch away the pain and suffering, at least not in the way we desperately want to...

We are all in this together!!
Sending you so much love and many prayers!

Alright, let's hear it!
Someone in my family is dealing with epilepsy. They’ve been using Lecen through some traditional methods over in China. I’m not entirely sure if they actually teach things "two ways" there—balancing those ancient traditions with what we call modern medicine.

So, here's the deal: the stuff being imported from China was supposed to basically wipe the disease out, but instead, it just took the edge off. The seizures are less frequent and less intense now. BUT! The cost!

It’s true that we aren't relying on barbiturates or those other heavy hitters anymore, but still... what do you guys think? Should we go back to the old-school way even though the meds haven't been needed for a long time, potentially putting us back on things like phenobarbital or barbiturates? Or do we just keep moving forward?

Seizures happen regardless; it's just a matter of how bad they are.

Alright, let's hear your thoughts!
Someone in my family deals with epilepsy. Currently, Lecen is over in China trying out some traditional methods. I’m not entirely sure if they really teach things "two ways" over there—you know, balancing traditional practices with modern medicine.

So, here's the deal: the meds we've been getting from China were supposed to basically wipe the disease out, but instead, they've just taken the edge off. The seizures are less frequent and less intense now. BUT! The cost... man, it's brutal.

It's true that we aren't relying on barbiturates or those other old-school drugs anymore, but still... what would you guys suggest? Should we go back to the old way, even if the current meds haven't been needed for a long time, and start up with things like phenobarbital or barbiturates again? Or just keep moving forward?

The seizures happen regardless; they just come in different flavors.