Dealing with drug addiction

I feel like some people here have an incredibly negative and discouraging outlook, which honestly saddens me because that approach doesn't help anyone. It sends this message along the lines of:
"This person is a lost cause, there's no point in helping an addict, let's just focus on preventing others from starting so they don't end up in the same boat..." To me, that mindset is deeply pessimistic and fundamentally wrong.
In my view, someone struggling with addiction deserves every bit of support and optimism we can offer; that's really the only way to achieve lasting recovery.
Sure, relapse happens—whether it's drugs, alcohol, or something else—but I don't believe that gives anyone the right to write them off or essentially leave them to die. It’s even worse when people stigmatize them as if they are completely broken beyond repair.👎
I truly hope that in a few years, I'll be able to look at the people in my own life and proudly share their stories as examples of those who successfully made it through for good.👍

I don't know, Big Mama, you're acting like some kind of holiday saint or something, just tossing out chances to people whenever you're feeling generous... 🤣

So, come on, define what "giving someone a shot" actually means to you?

I was wondering if anyone here has heard anything about Elvira’s sister and her commune over in Italy?
If you have, how does everything actually work there?
Btw,
I’m also curious—once you eventually leave a community like that, do those old cravings to go back start creeping up on you? And if they do, how do you deal with them?

Big Mama said:Look, I’m not exactly known for being generous, and I’m not hiding that... addiction is addiction... damn it.
People I know personally don't even deserve to live for one reason alone... they completely wreck the families they come from. Every junkie in the world knew the second they started drinking or snorting that it was the end of the line for them. There’s no excuse like, "Oh, poor me, life is just so hard... let me just get a little faded..."
I know my take doesn't really help this debate or whatever..
The bottom line is: Addict --- rehab center --- start over somewhere far away from home.

we might as well just ship all addicts off to Alcatraz.
man, the stuff about family... I'm speechless.

most addicts were basically created by those same families anyway. I don't feel sorry for parents who didn't actually step up, show love, or provide a safe place to land like a normal, happy American household does.
snorting stuff isn't even the end of the road. You can see that for yourself if you want. Just go look at some death statistics, or maybe surf some CNN for a bit.

BigMama said:The bottom line is: Junkie --- rehab center --- start over far away from home.

I mean, my take is... maybe being an addict is just the right kind of therapy? Since prayer and pills aren't really everyone's cup of tea. And honestly, starting over in the exact same spot you lived before... I guess there's no real reason to pack up and move halfway across the country.

Hannah Davis18 said:We might as well just ship all addicts off to Alcatraz.
I honestly don't even know what to say about the family aspect of this.

At least with drug users, a huge chunk of them were shaped by those very same families. I don't feel any sympathy for parents who neglected their kids or failed to provide the love and stability a happy home is supposed to offer.
And snorting isn't even the end of the story; injecting isn't the final chapter either. You can see that for yourself if you just look at the statistics on mortality rates—or even just browse through some CNN reports.

It’s not always the family's fault. In my own experience, the user admitted they just desperately wanted to fit in with the older crowd and be seen as cool, which is how it all started.
They had nothing but unconditional love from their inner circle,
but that still doesn't mean we should throw stones at them. They made a mistake during one of the most vulnerable times of their life—puberty.

Sandra Hernandez13 said:Alright, look—this is my very first thread, so I’m asking everyone right now: please, for the love of everything, do not come in here with the jokes or the sarcasm. This is serious stuff. There is actual educational value here and, honestly, I really want to hear what you all think. That’s exactly why I posted this in the Health section instead of some trash subforum meant for trolling and nonsense...
Look, I personally know—and I mean *really* know—one case where the main guy, this total addict, somehow managed to pull off a miracle. He basically walked through a needle's eye and came out breathing on the other side. But he didn't just get lucky—he was actually playing the long game, trying to hit what they call a "golden shot" or whatever the hell that term is supposed to be...
So, I’ve been thinking—since this guy was clean for three whole years, what are the actual odds he can get back to his old self? I mean, he clearly learned his lesson and is doing everything in his power to steer clear of drugs, even if he’s a bit... let's say "unstable" in the head—but still, he's avoiding them like the plague. Generally speaking, though, I’ve been reading all this stuff about how most addicts end up relapsing, trying to kick the habit three or four times only to fail miserably. How much truth is actually in that? What do you guys think about addiction in general? Is it just a cycle you can't escape? I’m looking for real talk here—personal stories, stuff you've seen with people close to you, whatever. Honestly, I could really use some insight on this...
🙂
Thanks!

Look, let’s be real here—most addicts end up crawling back to heroin for the exact same damn reason they fell into the trap in the first place. It’s all about instability. They’re emotionally volatile, completely unstable, and honestly? They just can't handle the weight of reality without that crutch. Period.

And then you’ve got this whole community supposedly "helping," right? Give me a break—they aren't doing anything except bringing everyone down with that toxic, negative attitude they have toward anyone who’s ever struggled with addiction. It’s impossible to move forward when people are constantly looking at you like you're still a lost cause.

Look, anyone who’s actually been through the ringer—I mean, really lived that addict life and managed to crawl out of the gutter—knows the biggest hurdle isn't even the physical withdrawal. It’s the socialization part. That's what kills you. When you're deep in it, you don't have "friends." You have associates, shadows, people you hang around with just to survive the day. So when you finally get clean? You realize you’ve got absolutely nobody to grab a coffee with or just hang out with. You're totally isolated. And don't even get me started on trying to reconnect with your old crew from back in the day—forget about it. Even if you grew up together or spent years being inseparable, they aren't your friends anymore. They’re reminders of everything you're trying to leave behind. If you try to hang out with them, you'll be right back on a fix before the night is over. It's a trap, plain and simple.

Look, getting clean is only half the battle—it’s actually the easiest part if you think about it. The real struggle? It’s all mental. You have to build this mindset where you *actually* want to be sober, deep down in your gut. You need to set a goal—any goal, really—something massive that you’re actually aiming for once you're off the junk. It doesn't even matter what it is! Maybe it's starting a business, moving to Chicago, or finally hitting the gym every single day. But you need a target. Without a damn purpose, most people coming off drugs end up spiraling right back to heroin because they just don't know what the hell to do with themselves. They've got nothing to chase, so they go back to the only thing that ever filled the void. You gotta have a reason to stay awake and alive, otherwise, what's the point?

I’ll be honest—my first brush with heroin wasn't some tragic accident or a desperate cry for help—it was pure, unadulterated curiosity. I’d already spent way too much time absolutely wrecking myself with every other drug under the sun, just constantly chasing that next high and shoving whatever I could find into my system. By the time I finally tried heroin, I was already deep in the weeds with all those other substances, but man, it felt like a total revelation. After everything else I’d put through my body, heroin actually felt like a breakthrough.

For crying out loud, I used to just snort everything until one day I hit up my buddy—he goes out to grab some coke and comes back with this stuff that looks exactly like Play-Doh. I was like, "Man, what am I supposed to do with this?" I don't even do the lines—I just snort—and back then, I didn't have a clue about... Dragon catching? Seriously? Give me a break! I don't even know where people get this wild stuff from anymore—it’s like everyone woke up one day decided they wanted to live in some ridiculous fantasy novel instead of dealing with reality. Honestly, if you think you're out there hunting mythical beasts, you might want to check your head. It's pure nonsense—complete and utter nonsense! Just more nonsense to fill the airwaves while the rest of us are actually trying to live our lives. Real life doesn't have dragons, folks. It has taxes, traffic, and endless headaches. Get real! Either you’re out here smoking heroin off aluminum foil, or what—you think I’m just gonna stroll right into a CVS and pick up a handgun so I can go blow my brains out too? Give me a break.

After that whole mess with the gun, I just couldn't bring myself to pull a joint anymore—unless, you know, it was one of those situations where I didn't have my piece on me or I just wasn't in a position to get high.

Then everything went sideways—something happened that actually made me kick the whole drug habit cold turkey. I stayed clean for a while, too, really. But now? Well, I’m back on the horse, though not in the way you might think—no needles, no snorting junk, nothing like that. It’s more like... catching lightning in a bottle. I just grab some movies for the evening, sink deep into my recliner, and let myself get absolutely lost in the ride. That's my version of chasing the dragon now.

And that’s how it went—just an endless cycle of this nonsense until I finally decided to get my act together and drop the weight. Honestly, I really thought this was going to be the final time, too. I had everything lined up perfectly! I was hanging out with my best friend, hitting the gym, running every single day, and I actually had a steady job—plus, things at home were finally smooth sailing, just top-tier stability for once. Everything was coming together! I managed to lose 12 pounds...
I’m at the gym right now—just grinding away—and honestly, my head is spinning. My best friend passes away, and suddenly everything just falls apart. I find myself spiraling right back into those old, bad habits, and now all that weight I worked so damn hard to lose? Gone. All 30 pounds of progress, just evaporated. It’s infuriating. One minute you think you've finally conquered your demons and hit your goals, and the next, life hits you with a sledgehammer and drags you right back to square one. It feels completely unfair.

It took me thirteen whole months to finally pull the trigger and decide to quit smoking weed for good. And look, let’s get one thing straight—this last time wasn't even about "rehab" or whatever because I’m not an addict, okay? I just like getting high when the mood strikes me. It's a vibe. But honestly, making the call to stop this time... I needed a reason. I needed a push. And that push ended up being this one specific person I’ve completely fallen for.

I mean, seriously—why is it that most junkies just can't seem to get that one push they need? You know, that spark, that sudden jolt that actually wakes them up from that endless, artificial stupor they’re living in. It’s like they’re stuck in this permanent fog, and no matter what you throw at them, they just stay checked out. It drives me crazy! You'd think eventually something would click and they'd finally snap out of it, but nope—just more of the same.

I’ve lost a handful of friends—and a few acquaintances too—to heroin. Some of them actually ended their own lives because they just couldn't stomach that lifestyle anymore. Honestly? I haven't gone to a single funeral, and I sure as hell don't want anyone showing up at mine after I die from an overdose.

The absolute saddest part about all of this? You have to hide your whole damn story from "normal" people just so they don't cast you aside. There’s this massive, sweeping assumption out there that anyone who ever touched drugs is basically bottom-of-the-barrel trash. It’s unbelievable how many genuinely good people—I mean, truly decent souls—completely wrecked their lives with heroin. Look, I’m not saying I’m glad I went through this—seven years is a long time, believe me—but I’ll be the first to admit it was a hellish experience that, in some weird ways, actually helps me now even when it bites me in the ass. When you spend 12 or 13 years chasing that high, the way you see the world becomes totally alien to everyone else. You end up clashing with "regular" people constantly because you're essentially living in two completely different realities.

Personally, I’d jump to help anyone trying to get clean, and I’ve really tried to pull people out of the pit, but let's be real: if the person doesn't actually want to quit and kick that habit to the curb themselves, none of my effort means squat. Addiction is built on these fleeting moments of "wanting to change" that are nothing more than self-delusion—they don't last five minutes.

People keep bringing up family issues... honestly, my family life is fine. My only real struggle is admitting that, deep down, I actually loved being high. A total junkie, plain and simple.

You could write a whole damn book about this stuff, and since I’m no novelist, I’ll just leave it here.

Also, a quick word to anyone who has nothing intelligent to contribute: please, spare us the mindless, stupid comments. Thanks.

One of the things you learn after years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug.

Sandra Hernandez13 said:It’s not always on the family. In my case, the addict actually admitted they just wanted to look cool around the older crowd, so they started,
they had nothing but unconditional love from their family,
but that still doesn't mean they should be crucified just because they messed up during the worst phase of life—or maybe just when they were most vulnerable, like puberty.

Of course it isn't always; there's also that whole category of pure junkies, like Stavros says.

But honestly, most of them are screwed because of their family dynamic, so I'm not buying this story about how junkies just ruin things for poor parents.

props to Stavros👍 for being real.
i don't really have anything smart to add

urbanmason11 said:.[/I]

Your post isn't exactly comforting, though you and Herzega are pretty much the only ones who truly understand this situation.
I agree with you, and it breaks my heart how people still stigmatize former addicts. That’s just how society works sometimes, but I want you to know there are still people out there who don't judge—people who are willing to offer a hand or just hang out without bringing up someone's past, even if we are in the minority.
Honestly, I'm feeling pretty down right now because I care about someone who is a recovering addict. They are very close to me, and reading your words doesn't make me feel any better, especially since I've spent so much time convincing myself they are completely fine and fully recovered after everything they went through. 😢
I really hope you don't end up like some of those friends you mentioned. I hope you pull through for the long haul and find happiness (if you haven't already—I wasn't entirely sure if you were still struggling with substances or not).
🙂

Sandra Hernandez13 said:Your post isn't exactly cheering me up, but honestly, you're basically the only one who actually knows what's going on besides Herzega.
I totally get where you're coming from, and it really sucks how people judge former addicts—that’s just how society works, I guess. But I wish you knew there are still people out there who don't act like that—you know, people who don't call others out for their past struggles and are actually willing to lend a hand or even just hang out, even if they are a tiny minority.
Now I'm feeling pretty depressed, because I care about someone who used to be an addict, they're close to me, and what you said didn't help at all—especially since I've spent so much time convincing myself that they're completely fine and totally over it now... 😢
I really hope you don't end up like some of those friends of yours and that you manage to pull through (if you haven't already, because I wasn't quite sure if you were still using or not) and find some happiness in the long run.
🙂

Look, I'm telling you, out of maybe 50 or 60 junkies, I only know two or three who actually got clean and stayed that way. As for the rest? Only a couple of them actually have the willpower to quit—everyone else is just stuck in the same old cycle.

Nah, I'm done with the drugs.

If you're curious about anything else, just hit me up in a DM.

thnx 🙂

Hannah Davis18 said:Of course it’s not always like that; there’s also—as Stavros puts it—the whole category of the "junkie."

But let's be real, most of them have completely trashed their family relationships, so I’m not buying that sob story about how junkies just ruin poor parents' lives.

Kudos to Stavros 👍 for being blunt.
I don't really have anything profound to add here,

Look, everyone’s got their own story about how and why they ended up riding the pony.

One reason is that people often stop chasing the chemical high once they actually start working—because you can't go out partying, smash six or seven pills, and then show up for a shift at 6 AM. It doesn't work like that.

But when you're on the pony, you can be at work. You can be anywhere—especially if you aren't totally trashed, because it's hard for someone to clock you if they don't know the ins and outs of the drug scene.

So, quitting becomes an absolute nightmare. How do you get off the horse while you're still working? If you walk into your office, admit you have a problem, and ask for "medical leave" to detox, the only thing you're getting is the boot.

Then there's that line from Axl Rose:

And when you're high you never
Ever want to come down, so down, so down, so down YEAH!

I've posted on threads dealing with this exact issue before—this isn't my first rodeo. I just wasn't using this handle back then; I was using my original one, which is currently banned (shoutout to Willrad 🙂 ).

Anyway, I've been hanging out on this forum since I landed my job, which happened right around the time I started getting clean, and the people here basically became my new social circle.

I actually met a bunch of them through forum meetups, so I have to give them credit—they helped me get sober and were the reason I spent so many hours on this site in the beginning (the second I walked through the door after work, I was straight onto Reddit). 😳

PS: By "anything profound," I'm talking about those assholes who show up just to spit on people in threads like this. I know they've always been around in these types of discussions, but any other kind of post is more than welcome.👍

When I read this whole "everyone deserves a second chance, but just one" thing

Look, I’m gonna try to stay on track here and won't give you the usual earful I give people like you—but seriously, use your head for once and actually think before you start spewing nonsense. If you aren't capable of doing that, then honestly, why even bother posting?

If these people actually had any backbone, they wouldn't be clinging to a horse like they're afraid of falling off.

Maybe I should have sent this to you in a private message, but I figured posting it here might be better.
I was wondering, how can you tell if someone is using horse if there aren't any obvious physical signs while they're working? Is there a way to sense if someone is still secretly doping when nothing visible is happening?
Also, is it actually okay for someone to switch from horse or heroin to just smoking or drinking—even in small amounts, even though we know those aren't healthy either?

Sandra Hernandez13 said:Look, maybe I should have just sent this via DM, but honestly, putting it out here might be better.
Listen, I’m curious—how do you actually tell if someone is on speed? Like, what if you don't notice the obvious physical stuff while they're working? How can you tell if someone is still secretly doping if there aren't any glaring signs?
And is it okay for someone who used to be on speed, meth, or even heroin to switch over to smoking or drinking (even if it's just small amounts, knowing it's still bad for you)?

Man, listen, you know the symptoms... the slowed movements, those tiny pupils—we call them "pinpricks" because that's all that's left of the iris—and that deeper, raspy voice that gets way more obvious when you start losing your cool. Plus, they always feel hot in cold rooms. Chronic users are harder to spot because at lower doses, they look totally normal. But trust me, any addict can spot another user without breaking a sweat. I'll run into someone from my old crowd, and they'll start rambling about how some guy doesn't shave, and I'll just look them dead in the eyes and—boom—game over. I know exactly what's up.

I caught one guy at work the second I saw him, while everyone else at the company took months to realize what was happening before they finally fired him.

I even spotted one girl on this forum the very first time I looked at her profile.

If you haven't spent time hanging around junkies, you can't really say for sure with much confidence.

Eventually, most people swap one habit for another because you're always missing "something." The gap is just too extreme—you can't go from slamming stuff for years to suddenly being stone-cold sober overnight. That's when things start getting dicey, and the chance of sliding right back into the old ways becomes huge.

PS As far as I'm concerned, we can talk about this stuff right here; I'll give you a straight answer to anything I can actually make sense of.

This might sound like a bit of a silly question to ask, 😁but I’m just feeling really curious,
and I actually have a pretty good reason to be wondering about this:
Can someone who has been clean from heroin for over four years
experience strange physical tics—nothing extreme right now, but things like an unusual gait, or maybe swinging their arms too much or tilting their head oddly?

Look, I’m really not the guy to be asking for an expert opinion on this one 😬

urbanmason11 The user said:I don't think I'm quite qualified enough to weigh in on this one. 😬

🙂 🙂
😬
Thanks for sharing your insights. I know plenty of people follow this forum and check out the Health section regularly, so I hope this thread ends up being just as helpful and educational for everyone else. 😉
😁

Sandra Hernandez13 said:I feel terrible about how society stigmatizes former addicts, but that's just the reality we live in. I just wish people knew there are still those who don't react that way—people who don't judge others for their addiction and are actually willing to help or even just hang out with them, even if they are a tiny minority.

Stop shifting the blame onto society. They stigmatized themselves. The reason most of them end up relapsing over and over again is simply the universal lack of trust people have toward them; you can call that stigma if you want.
The real issue is that while there are people who genuinely want to help junkies, those helpers have been taken advantage of so many times that it's a miracle anyone still bothers to try.
Personally, I have more sympathy for the families than the addicts. Addicts made their own choices, but their families didn't—yet they're the ones forced to deal with all the fallout.

George Bailey2 said:Don't shift the blame onto society. These individuals have essentially stigmatized themselves. The reason so many end up relapsing is simply the widespread lack of trust toward them, which you could certainly call a form of stigma itself.
The real issue is that there are people out there who genuinely want to help, but they've been burned so many times that it's a miracle anyone still has the heart to try.
Personally, I feel more for their families than the addicts themselves. While those struggling made their own choices, their families didn't sign up for this, yet they're forced to live through every bit of the fallout.

To be honest, I believe there are former users who truly want to turn things around and lead normal lives, but find themselves shut out from doing so.
They know deep down that they aren't victims of circumstance—they brought this on themselves.
However, refusing to give them a second chance or treating them like they're already "gone" or beyond saving feels incredibly unfair and, frankly, quite pathetic.
At the end of the day, none of us are perfect, so who are we to judge? Some of these people are fighting hard to recover, and I believe we should offer them every possible hand up.
I understand why it's so difficult for the community, especially for those who were previously taken advantage of,
but perhaps it ultimately comes down to an individual's own character.
As someone else pointed out, not everyone struggling with addiction is a bad person or "trash."
Many are wonderful people who fell apart due to struggles only they truly understand. I say this from my own experience, even though I'm still quite young.
Regardless, I intend to help anyone who reaches out and actually wants to change.
I see your point on certain aspects, and I agree with you there, but I’m sticking to my decision to support whoever is willing to accept help. In fact, I have some ideas I'm working on that I hope to fully develop and hopefully launch in the next five or six years.
In the end, it all comes down to the person.

Sandra Hernandez13 said:I was wondering if any of you guys have heard anything about Sister Elvira’s community over in Italy?
Like, does anyone know how things actually work over there?
Btw,
I'm also curious—once you leave a place like that, do those old cravings start hitting you again out of nowhere? And if they do, how do you even deal with that?

I haven't swung by here in a minute, and honestly, I'm kind of slammed tonight.
Just to give you the short version: Sister Elvira is a wonderful woman, truly, but there are definitely better options out there...
The zajednica susret group is an American community and, in my opinion, way more suited to what people actually need compared to Cenaccoll!

Anyway, I gotta run right now, but I'll definitely try to write up some more of my thoughts tomorrow or sometime in the next few days...