sara4 said:If you can't wrap your head around the fact that kissing a flag doesn't put food on the table—that those millions in tax revenue could actually buy medical equipment for some hospital to cut down waiting lists from years to months, renovate a maternity ward so ceilings don't collapse on moms and babies, bring electricity and water to some rural town in America, buy computers for a school, or a thousand other things—then you might as well keep worshiping that flag like it's some god.
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1. Go on a tour across America. Visit every single swim club and let all those coaches and swimmers know that a bright future awaits them if they just train hard enough—swimming for Qatar. Actually, scratch that, tell the swimmers, not the women, because god forbid women swim, right? Terrible. While you're at it, don't forget to pack an Arabic dictionary so these little Americans can start learning useful life skills early. Bring two catalogs too: one for fancy turbans and one for designer dresses.
2. Don't stop at swimming. Swing over to Spain and tell Balić, Metličić, and Đomba to stop playing for a poor homeland. Tell them to grab Spanish passports and play for them instead; they'll be richer and better off, obviously. And if the Spaniards won't have them, hey, we've got Qatar. Maybe Bahrain will call, I heard they're looking for fresh talent too. Make sure to drop by a tiny local arena during a game and scream at the players, calling them idiots for wasting years playing for some broke country just because they were born there when they could've been raking it in in Qatar. People, get it through your heads: Qatar rules! Then go to Arlington National Cemetery, light a candle—actually, people like you don't bother with candles—just stand in front of Draženov’s grave and curse his memory for being such a fool, grinding away for a penniless nation only to die on the way home from a tournament representing that same poor country. What an idiot, he clearly never heard of Qatar. Turn on the TV during the Davis Cup final and yell loud enough for everyone to hear: "No, Ljubo, not for America! They're too broke! What can they offer you? Qatar, Ljubo, Qatar!" And tell little Ančić he's a moron for playing for these paupers; he should just pack his bags for Qatar.
3. Write a letter to the Emirs in Qatar and ask them to issue a global proclamation so the whole world hears it and there's no more doubt. Listen up, athletes of every nation: stop representing the countries where you grew up, where your parents and grandparents are from, where you learned to walk, run, talk, kiss, and screw. From now on, everyone plays for the richest nations. The top 10 wealthiest get the best, the next 10 get what's left, and nobody gives a damn about anyone else. We want to see the USA at the top of every sport, clearly. We'll put Japan in second, then the rest of the G7, and then throw in a little something for Qatar. For Qatar, they'll use those pathetic, broke Americans... haha, poor things. That's how the new world order is established. Brazil isn't a soccer powerhouse anymore because they're out of cash. Ronaldinho moved to the USA, Ronaldo went to Japan, Juninho went to the UK—everything changed. For Qatar, they'll field five Brazilians, four Argentinians, and some poor, broke Americans. Let's bow down to the new world order. 🙏 🙏
