Help! Some random person is harassing me in my DMs

Yesterday, I received a rather nonsensical direct message from an individual who possesses a grand total of one single post, yet somehow felt compelled to initiate contact. They had the audacity to inquire about my general activities and what I do for a living, or something to that effect.
My response was quite curt; I essentially informed them that I tend to delete private messages sent by obvious clones.
Today, this same person reached out again with a much longer message, which I promptly reported because I have absolutely no desire for anyone attempting to latch onto me. It seems to be someone who is either lurking or obsessively following the "Summer Heatwave" thread, as they made a specific reference to my first post there yesterday.
Is there any way to resolve this sort of thing permanently?
I simply have no use for such trivialities. I don't participate in any discussions that would reasonably invite unwanted attention, and I live with my husband—a fact clearly understood by anyone who engages in the same topical forums as I do—so I truly fail to see why I would be of any interest to a stranger.
Perhaps I am being overly cautious, given that I deal with enough personal matters as it is, but one can never be too careful.

Just toss him on your ignore list and I’m pretty sure you won't have to deal with his messages anymore 🤷

If you really want people to stop bothering you, just turn off your direct messages. Honestly, there’s no other way to block random strangers from sliding into your inbox.

If someone is giving you a hard time, either report their message so the admins can handle it, or just hit the ignore button. Also, if some stranger reaches out and you aren't feeling the vibe, it’s way better to just leave them on read. 😉

Richard Nelson84 said:If you honestly want to stop people from pestering you, the simplest solution is just to disable your private messages entirely. Otherwise, there really isn't any other way to prevent getting unsolicited messages from total strangers.

If someone is actually harassing you, you should either report the message so the site admins can handle it, or simply put that individual on your ignore list. Furthermore, if some stranger reaches out and you have zero interest in engaging with them, it’s probably best to just leave the message unread and refrain from responding altogether. 😉

Fine, I suppose you have a point there; staying silent is likely the most prudent course of action.
I did file a report. So, just to clarify—if I add someone to my ignore list, does that mean they are physically unable to send me messages at all?

amberfox4 said:Alright, thanks! You're right, maybe it's better just to stay quiet.
I did report them, though. So, if they're on my ignore list, does that mean they can't message me anymore?

No problem at all.

If they're on your ignore list, they can still try to send you messages, but nothing will show up in your inbox. That way, the person spamming you won't even realize you've blocked them out. 😁

Honestly, I couldn't care less; if they want to know, let them find out, at least then they might finally leave me alone.
Tnx

amberfox4 said:So, if I put them on ignore, they can't even send me messages?

Richard Nelson84 said:If you have someone on ignore, they can still technically send you messages, but they won't land in your inbox. This means the person spamming you won't even realize you've ignored them. 😁

Unless something went haywire with your privacy settings in the meantime, those messages will still come through. You'll see their posts on threads just like any other ignored user—if you click on them, they'll still open up.

If you really want to shut down access to your inbox entirely, you should go into your contact list settings and toggle the option so that only people on your approved list can message you. Alternatively, you can just disable incoming messages altogether. I know for a fact the second option works; as for the first one, I don't remember the exact steps off the top of my head, but usually, when someone tries to message you after blocking them, they get a notification saying they can't deliver the message to that user. Likewise, if you've blocked all incoming PMs via email, you'll get an alert that someone tried to reach out (provided you actually have your message notifications turned on).

Sandra Adams66 said:Unless there's some glitch with the settings, they should still be coming through. You'll see them just like posts from ignored users in a thread > if you click on them, you can actually open them up.

Alright, I just ran a test using an account I put on my ignore list. I got the message on the clone, but nothing showed up here. This isn't like when I can't see a post because someone is ignored and I can't even click to view the message.

🤷

Sandra Adams66 said:Unless there was some glitch with the settings in the meantime, they should still be coming through. They show up just like posts from ignored users in a thread > if you click on them, they can be opened.

If someone actually wants to restrict their inbox access, they could edit their contact list and adjust the settings so that messages can only be received from those specific selected contacts. Alternatively, one could disable the message receiving option entirely. I am certain about the second option; as for the first, I don't quite recall, but whoever tries to send a message would get an error saying they can't email that user, and conversely, the person who blocked their inbox via email would receive a notification that someone attempted to send a PM (provided that message notifications are enabled at the same time).

My messages are locked.

If they aren't on the list, I suppose I have no way of knowing what he receives, though I personally don't get any email notifications when someone attempts to message me and fails because they aren't on my contact list.

The only time I ever receive an email notification is when my inbox is full and someone tries to send a message but fails. Otherwise, I haven't turned on email notifications for messages.

There, perhaps that helps someone.

Swap out the current avatar for this one:

Don't even bother replying to his message—not even to tell him you're ignoring him. 😁
This strategy has worked perfectly for me since I first joined this forum. Every once in a while, a random message pops up in my inbox, but I’ve never actually received two from the same person—let alone had anyone actually harass me—simply because I never even notice those messages exist in the first place.

Go ahead and start a thread over in the Health section asking for recommendations on the best dermatology clinic in the States. If that doesn't scare them off, I don't know what will. ☕

graniteridge6 said:Don't even bother replying to them, not even to tell them you're ignoring them. 😁
Personally, I’ve found that strategy works perfectly fine since I first joined this forum. Every once in a while, some random message pops up, but I have yet to receive more than one from the same individual—let alone be harassed by anyone—simply because I don't give those messages any mental space at all.

Well, you're absolutely right; I really should have just let it slide.
I honestly cannot fathom how people come up with such strange ideas in the first place, nor can I begin to guess what criteria they use when deciding on a course of action.
At least I don't go out of my way to attract any kind of attention. 🤷

Eric Newman75 said:Just start a thread in the Health section and ask for the top-rated dermatology clinic in the States. If that doesn't discourage him, nothing will. ☕

🤣

amberfox4 said:I don't care if they know. At least then they'll leave me alone.
Thanks.

Alright, so what does this person actually want? Did they insult you?
Were they cursing at you?
What's their angle?
Are they hitting on you or being creepy?

It seems easy enough to handle. Honestly, I think you're just being overly sensitive. You're married, so maybe you're just worried your husband will find out you're messaging strangers. Am I right?

When it happened to me, someone was being abusive, so I reported the message and moved on. Problem solved. If someone just reaches out out of nowhere, I give them a polite reply. I'm not some fragile person who's terrified of typing five words to a stranger.

Come on...

Grace Kim80 said:I have my messages locked down.

If they aren't on that specific list, I have no idea what he's seeing on his end, but personally, I never get any email notifications when someone tries to message me and fails because they aren't in my contacts.

The only time an email actually hits my inbox regarding failed delivery is when my storage is full and someone can't get through. Otherwise, I haven't even bothered turning on email notifications for direct messages.

Anyway, just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone.

Well, you certainly have something to brag about—a moderator who’s essentially closed their door to incoming mail.

By that logic, why don't you just lock all the threads too?

I've lost count of how many times I've had to clear up misunderstandings with moderators via private message, but apparently, it's much easier for you to just hand out bans. A stellar example of leadership, truly.

This entire thread is absolute garbage. 😍

amberfox4 said:Honestly, you're right—I really should have just let it slide.
I honestly can't wrap my head around how people come up with these notions—or what kind of bizarre logic they use to pick targets in the first place.
At least I don't go around looking for attention myself...🤷

In my experience, there isn't some grand set of criteria; it’s more like you just happened to pop up on someone's radar at the exact (right or wrong 😁) moment.
Personally, I wouldn't waste my energy overthinking it or trying to deconstruct it. 😁

rowdypanther said:I mean, I think that's an easy fix, but if you ask me, you're just being sensitive—you're married, and you're worried your husband might find out you're messaging someone, am I right?

🙏 🙏 🤣

amberfox4 said:To be perfectly honest, I don't attract any attention whatsoever. 🤷

That’s a rather striking choice for an avatar you've made there. 😁

rowdypanther said:Alright, let’s look at the facts—what was his actual intention when he reached out? Was he being insulting?
Was there profanity involved?
What exactly is he looking for from you?
Is he hitting on you, being pushy, or just generally being a nuisance?

In my estimation, this seems quite straightforward to resolve, though I suspect perhaps you might be acting a bit overly sensitive here; you are a married woman, after all, and I imagine there is a lingering fear that your husband might discover you engaging in correspondence with strangers—am I correct in that assumption?

I recall a similar situation once where I dealt with someone being outright abusive, and I handled it quite efficiently by simply reporting the message and moving on. As for these people who reach out out of the blue, I tend to respond politely enough; I am certainly not so timid that I find myself trembling at the prospect of typing five words to a complete stranger.

Honestly...

Oh, heavens no, goodness gracious, I actually showed the messages to my husband, haha; it isn't as if I'm hiding some secret lover or anything scandalous. He just took one look and remarked, in his usual fashion, "What an idiot."

It wasn't even anything significant, really; the guy was just incredibly illiterate, incredibly pushy, and frankly, quite bizarre... because, honestly, what is the point? If I had been awake at that hour, maybe he would have asked me something, or perhaps he's just one of those intensely curious types who struggles with basic social cues... something along those lines.
Basically, it was just some random guy with a single post, someone I've never even heard of, acting like a total jerk. 😵

Linda Price5 said:Honestly, this entire thread is absolute garbage. 😍

As if I were actually 😁

Ryan Wilson2 said:Nice avatar you've got there 😁

Though, to be perfectly clear, I don't exactly have some bare midriff exposed while pulling at my thong with a stylus...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...e1a79948a7.jpg