Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Ryan Taylor2 said:My mom passed away in my arms on November 25th from cancer. I just can't wrap my head around how fast it happened—it wasn't even a month from diagnosis to her being gone... I keep imagining she just went somewhere else, that she'll be back soon...

I totally get you... my mom was battling cancer in Rhode Island, and at the same time, my son was over at the Claiborne oncology ward...

Melissa Rivera said:I totally get where you're coming from... my mom was fighting cancer in her ribs, and at the same time, my son was stuck in oncology over at Claiborne...

Mine literally passed away right in my arms... Honestly, unless you've lived through it or are currently in the thick of it, you just don't know what it's like... I'm truly rooting for your son—hope he kicks that beast's ass...

Ryan Taylor2 said:She literally died in my arms... Only those who've lived through it actually get how much it hurts... Honestly, I'm just praying your son beats this beast...

It wasn't the mom, it was the kid..

The mom fought it for five and a half years, the son for four... I know that pain all too well, unfortunately...

Melissa Rivera said:It’s not the mom who passed—it’s the child..

The mother fought for five and a half years, and the son for four... I know exactly what that feels like, unfortunately.

Pure hell on earth—for them, and for us just having to watch it happen...
I'm so incredibly sorry about your son. 🙏

Anyone out there? I’m feeling pretty terrible right now... totally in the dark about everything. I can't even bring myself to step foot in the hospital with him. The nurses and doctors are just being straight-up rude, and the illness is just getting worse by the day....

Morgan Wilson8 said:Is anyone out there? I feel absolutely terrible and completely left in the dark. I can't stand being in the hospital with him—the nurses and doctors are incredibly rude—and the illness just keeps getting worse...

Hang in there.
You have this cancer forum where people actually stay active.
That lack of information is the absolute worst part, I know. You have to be annoying about it—just like a broken record—and constantly nag them for answers. If you don't push, nobody else will.
Stomach cancer is like any other cancer; the prognosis really hinges on whether there's metastasis and the specific grade of the malignancy. Usually, they surgically remove everything diseased first, then move on to oncology treatments like radiation or chemo depending on the stage.
You have to switch yourself onto autopilot. I know that sounds easier said than done, but it's the only way to keep your head straight so you can actually be useful to him. He needs you focused! Live one day at a time and tackle things as they come. Don't go looking at a future further than tomorrow!
Let's go—stay brave, grit your teeth, and face it without fear. Fear just drains the very energy you need to survive!

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I’m currently living outside the US, actually residing in an EU nation.
It's testicular cancer. There's a 0.7mm lesion in the capsule.
I'm scheduled to undergo surgery to remove my left testicle. Uhhh.
Does anyone have personal experience using THC oil for this? Also, does anyone know where one might reasonably source it?

Adam Fox3 said:I live outside the US. In an EU country, too.

Testicular cancer. A 0.7mm lesion in the capsule.

I'm heading in for surgery to remove my left testicle. Uhhh.

Does anyone have experience using THC oil, and where can I actually get a hold of it?

It’s going to be fine. As long as they haven't hit the lymph nodes, you're catching this right on schedule. Just stay brave.

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They’ll probably suggest adjuvant chemotherapy, but honestly, this is one of those cancers that’s actually among the most manageable ones out there—it carries a really solid prognosis. And please, don't bother with that THC oil nonsense; that's just stuff people believe when they're being naive.

Hi everyone,

I've read through both threads here, but I feel like I have to chime in too... unfortunately.

My dad (63) was rushed to an ENT specialist after struggling to swallow, having trouble speaking, and losing weight. After the exam, he was given this diagnosis: Tm oropharyngis sin T2N0Mx.

Status: Left hypoglossal nerve palsy, coated tongue, limited mobility.
ILS and fiberoscopy show exophytic mass at the base of the tongue extending to the left tonsillar fossa, infiltrating the epiglottis. The aditus is narrowed but still sufficient; poor view of the glottis.
Neck palpation shows no resistance.

Can anyone offer some insight from experience or advice... just how serious is this diagnosis? What does treatment look like?
Anything you can say would mean everything right now... I'm in total shock.😢

From what I can gather, the tumor is in stage two, which means it’s about two centimeters big. It hasn't spread to the lymph nodes and there aren't any distant metastases either. You can find all the details on diagnostic stages and grading here, though I've known them for a while now. Honestly? I'd say the prognosis looks relatively good. The only real downside is the location—the base of the tongue. That's never ideal because it starts making you question your swallowing reflex. But look, the surgeons will be able to walk you through the specific procedures much more accurately than I can; at the end of the day, I'm just a patient.

Eric Newman75, thanks for checking in.

I’ve been looking through the stages... just wondering if you might know how reliable that initial diagnosis from the ENT specialist actually is: ...N0Mx

Can a specialist really be that certain without a CT scan or more testing?

Honestly, I started clinging to a tiny bit of hope when I saw that ...N0Mx
...

The doctors over at the Mayo Clinic told me that most tumors are actually caught just through a standard visual and physical exam of the oral cavity and neck area. They’ll definitely send my dad in for more intensive testing—that's non-negotiable if you want any kind of diagnostic precision before surgery—but what’s written here is likely accurate. As long as the cancer is still in situ, the prognosis looks pretty good. Things start getting dicey once it spreads to the neck; that's automatically considered stage three. I'm assuming they can cut it out surgically, though he'll probably need some reconstruction work, and they'll likely prescribe adjuvant radiation therapy too.

Eric Newman75 said:The doctors at the Mayo Clinic told me most tumors are caught just through a standard visual and physical exam of the mouth and neck. They'll definitely send my dad for more tests—it's necessary for an accurate diagnosis and surgery planning—but what’s written is likely correct. Once the carcinoma is in situ, the prognosis looks good. It gets bad once it spreads to the neck; that’s automatically stage three. I assume it can be surgically removed, though he'll need reconstruction and probably adjuvant radiation therapy.

The specialist saw him yesterday and did a thorough exam, checking his neck and everything...

He was told immediately to come in today for hospitalization at the ENT ward.
Recommendations: A CT scan of the head and neck with contrast and prep for Eta.

So, I guess they're starting all that today.

The doctor also mentioned they might insert a tube (?) to help him breathe easier and use a feeding tube since he's lost so much weight. My mom is relaying everything to me.
It's harder because of COVID... Mom was the only one allowed with him at the exam yesterday, and they barely let her in.

A nasogastric tube goes in through the nose—that’s how they fed me, at least during the beginning. By the second day, I was already managing to feed myself. But that tube in the neck? That's unavoidable when your mouth is swollen shut and you can't catch your breath. Honestly, it's a brutal, painful procedure. It might just be the single worst thing an oncology patient has to endure. There are thousands upon thousands of nerve endings in your mouth, and the tongue is such an incredibly sensitive organ. That’s why it hurts so much. And those tubes and probes don't actually make things better; they just irritate the trachea and esophagus constantly. You struggle to breathe, you struggle to swallow, and you end up choking on your own blood and the mucus that keeps sliding down your throat. The nurses have this special suction device they use to clear everything out when they notice you aren't getting enough air, but even then, it's just a temporary fix. This misery is going to last for days, but little by little, it starts to become more bearable. The key is for the patient to mentally prepare for it—to gear up with courage and positive energy. And above all, patience. You have to tell them straight up: it’s hell. But it’s a hell that doesn't last forever, and it's one they can and must get through. They need to keep telling themselves, "Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow will be easier." And it will be, step by step. You have to believe, and you have to fight.

Eric Newman75,

how are you doing now? what was your diagnosis?

I'm worried about how he'll handle this mentally. Just terrified of it all...
Can't be by his side, can't even hear him over the phone because his speech is so weak...

I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. My tongue cancer was Stage III, but thankfully they caught it in time and operated. They had to reconstruct the tissue using a graft from my arm, and they performed a neck dissection too. Honestly? I felt like I’d been carved up.

The aftermath was... a lot. I basically had to relearn how to swallow, eat, and even speak again. My left shoulder ended up sitting lower than the right, and my back is pretty crooked now. You can fix most of that with physical therapy, but man, it takes a massive amount of time. Still, I'm alive, and at the end of the day, that’s the only thing that matters. Oral cancers are terrifying—they spread fast, they hurt like hell, and they're incredibly disfiguring. There's also a high recurrence rate, so you really have to listen to your doctors, eat clean, and totally overhaul your lifestyle. Alcohol and smoking? Absolutely out of the question for me now.

They ran the CT scan today... To my untrained eyes, it looks like things are actually worse than what the specialist concluded during the exam.😢

Look, I’m sorry, but that is absolutely no reason to throw in the towel. Things are going to get a little more complicated than you were probably expecting, sure, but modern medicine is incredible—we successfully treat so many different types of cancer these days, so please, don't lose hope. Honestly, a huge part of this comes down to your mindset; it's all about how you handle things mentally. That matters immensely. Both the patient and everyone supporting them need to be acting as engines of optimism and positivity, rather than just feeding into the fear and doubt. Negative thoughts and stress? They aren't helping anyone here. It might actually be a good idea to sit down with a psychologist, just to help everyone process everything and get a better handle on self-control. Most major hospitals, like the Mayo Clinic, usually offer these services to patients, but families need psychological support too. You can always seek a second opinion, just don't forget that time is such a critical factor. This surgery needs to happen as soon as possible.

Checking in with an update on my dad... unfortunately, there isn't much good news.

The tumor is too large to operate on right now 😔. They haven't decided if they're going with radiation, chemo, or some combination of both yet.

They’ll be putting in a feeding tube and performing a tracheotomy today or tomorrow.

I tried so hard to stay positive all these days, but now I just feel completely crushed...