Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Hello everyone, and my deepest condolences to those who have lost their loved ones. I’ve been lurking in this thread for quite a while now because I was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly three years ago. I went through chemo and radiation, and so far, my scans look clean. But it seems like cancer just won't leave my family alone—the reason I’m posting today is because of my sister-in-law. We just found out she’s battling Stage IIIc ovarian cancer. She’s already had surgery to remove her uterus and ovaries, and apparently, they managed to clear everything out pretty well. Now, she’s facing oncological treatment. The oncology options here in our local town are pretty limited (I know from firsthand experience), so she’s decided to seek treatment in Washington, D.C. Which hospital would you recommend there? Any standout oncologists? Also, does anyone know anything about newer therapies for ovarian cancer? I heard something about intraperitoneal chemotherapy.

Brenda Johnson13 said:Hello everyone, and my heart goes out to those who have lost their loved ones. I've been following this thread for quite a while now because I was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly three years ago. I went through chemotherapy and radiation, and so far, my results look good. However, it seems cancer just won't leave my family alone—the reason I’m reaching out here is because of my sister-in-law. We just found out she has ovarian cancer, stage IIIc. She’s already had surgery to remove her uterus and ovaries, and apparently, everything was cleared out well. Now, she’s facing oncological treatment. Oncology services in our local area are fairly limited (I know this from personal experience), so she has decided to seek treatment in Washington, D.C. Which hospital would you recommend? Any specific oncologists worth seeing? Also, does anyone know anything about newer therapies for ovarian cancer? I think I heard something about intraperitoneal chemotherapy.

I’d suggest the Mayo Clinic; my mother was treated there for the exact same illness and at the same stage. I can't recall the oncologist's name since it's been quite a few years, but overall, everything was handled very professionally.
I don't know much about the latest therapies, though. Back when my mom was being treated, some of the "new" chemos didn't work for her at all; instead, they treated her with Taxol, which she actually responded well to.

It’s been exactly two years today since he’s been gone. I guess not a single day goes by where I don't think of him. 😢

Lisa Ward52 said:It’s been exactly two years today since he passed. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about him.😢

It’s been 9 years since my dad passed, and 6 since my mom. Over time, you eventually find yourself left with just the beautiful memories, though I have to admit, as the anniversaries approach, those less pleasant ones tend to resurface for a bit.

It’s the exact same feeling as it was a year ago. I miss my dad so much...

We’re finally seeing a bit of progress here; my father-in-law has actually started developing an appetite. Food has started smelling good to him again, and he won't stop talking about what he wants for lunch or dinner—even if he claims he isn't quite hungry yet. He polished off some broccoli soup and then insisted he could eat it every single day.😁.
Besides that, he saw his therapist twice, and he spent two straight days just weeping. I suppose he needed to purge all that misery from his system, because he seems much more vibrant now; he’s even cracking jokes and walking the hallways with a lot more energy. He might need one more round of dialysis if things continue to improve like this, but honestly, he looks significantly better. The therapist spoke with his doctor, who confirmed that his condition wasn't exactly a minor matter, which was likely the turning point he needed to break through.
Hopefully, the day will finally arrive soon where he can head home.

Fiz, glad to hear your father-in-law is finally doing better. Let's just hope it stays that way so you guys can actually catch a break.

Hey everyone. I’m selling two hairpiece sets—one Sophia 12 R Vicky and one Josie 32—from the Camaflex and Quince brands. They come in chestnut brown and light brown. The hair length is about 4 inches. Both pieces are in great shape, and I’m throwing in a full maintenance kit (shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray) at no extra cost. Please reach out to me at osa.igor@gmail.com since I don't check this forum very often.

Paul Mitchell61 said:Hi everyone. I'm letting go of two hair pieces (a Sophia 12 R Vicky and a Josie 32) from the Camaflex and Quince brands. They come in chestnut brown and light brown. Each piece is about 4 inches long. Both are in great shape, and I'll include a full maintenance kit—shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray—with them. Please reach out to me at osa.igor@gmail.com since I don't check this forum very often.

I forgot to mention, but I assume it's obvious these are women's pieces... Also, I’d really prefer if they went to a woman who is currently undergoing or waiting for chemotherapy.

Good evening, everyone! I’m not sure if anyone remembers us, but my sister and I have posted here before about our mother, who was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer last November... We spent so much time typing away, sharing everything and searching for help and answers... Well, we have reached the terminal stage now. We tried absolutely everything—chemotherapy, radiation, smart drugs, more radiation, then oral chemo—but unfortunately, nothing worked. Mom took a fall in the hospital back in June and broke her hip, and ever since then, it’s just been one thing after another. We are in the final stretch now; for the last ten days, she’s only managed about two small bowls of broth a day because she can't swallow food or water anymore. She has a sore throat, and her esophagus feels infected, causing pain in her throat and chest. She’s only sipping about 10 ml of water, and while she’s severely dehydrated and on an IV, they aren't even helping her with that much anymore. A week ago, she experienced pains worse than anything we've seen (we were given some drops to help)... She has no appetite, she’s always cold, her skin looks yellow, and her head has taken on an oval shape. She weighs maybe 30 kg now, whereas just fifteen days ago she was around 45 kg. She sleeps constantly, has a vacant stare, can't concentrate, can't listen, and sometimes can't even speak... occasionally she says things that don't make sense. Everyone keeps telling us this is the end, that we need to prepare... is it truly the end? Could someone please explain this to me based on what I've described? Mom has adenocarcinoma of the lungs with metastases in the brain, lymph nodes, kidneys, adrenal glands, near the heart, in the bones, stomach, and even blood metastases in her arms... she also has sores from being bedridden, as she hasn't been able to get up for three months now. Please, if anyone could explain what this state means and how long a patient can survive without food and water in this condition... Thank you. I wish everyone healing and strength; it looks like we are going to have to say our goodbyes and let go soon.

Abaza, I remember you. Unfortunately, I don't have anything comforting to say. In situations like this, jaundice usually points toward liver failure—especially when you factor in the number and locations of the metastases, the diet, and their overall condition... It’s heartbreaking, but the end is unfortunately very close. I am so sorry 😢

I'm painfully aware of that reality, though deep down, I honestly wish I could just look the other way. Every single morning, I wake up and offer a quiet prayer to the Almighty just to see that she's opened her eyes... then I'll brew a pot of coffee and sit right there beside her, sipping my cup while she stays still, just enjoying the quiet moment together.

hollowridge88 said:Good evening. I don't know if anyone here remembers me—my sister and I have been posting about our mom, who was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer last November... We’ve typed so much here, searching for help and answers... Well, we are at the terminal stage now. We tried everything—chemo, radiation, smart drugs, more radiation, even oral chemo—but unfortunately, nothing worked. Mom fell in the hospital, broke her hip back in June, and ever since, it's just been one thing after another. We are in the final stretch; she’s been eating maybe two tiny spoonfuls of broth a day for the last 10 days (she can't swallow food or water, she has a tracheostomy, her throat and esophagus are infected, and she's in pain in her throat and chest). She drinks maybe 10ml of water (she's severely dehydrated, we finished the IVs but they aren't even helping with those anymore). A week ago, she had pains like she's never felt before (we got some morphine drops). She has no appetite, she's cold, she looks yellow, her head looks sunken, she's maybe 30kg (and 15 days ago she was around 45kg), she sleeps constantly, has this blank stare, can't concentrate, can't listen, and sometimes can't even talk... sometimes she just says nonsense... Everyone tells us it's the end, that we should prepare... is it really the end? Can someone please explain what this means based on my description?! Mom has adenocarcinoma of the lung with metastases in the brain, lymph nodes, spine, kidneys, adrenal glands, near the heart, in the bones, stomach, and even blood metastases in her hands... She has sores from lying down because she's been bedridden for 3 months... Please, can someone tell me what this state means and how long someone can last without food and water in this condition? Thank you. I wish everyone healing and strength; it looks like we just have to say our goodbyes and let go.

Honey, I am with you with all my heart. A few months ago, I was "forced" to watch my dad's painful passing due to pancreatic cancer. I say "watch," because there was literally nothing that could be done. I nearly lost my mind reading, living, researching, trying... Everything moved at an unbelievable speed—just a month and a half from diagnosis to his passing. I didn't get to hold on until the very last minute—I just couldn't believe he was going to die, that there was nothing we could do. I could only witness the daily changes in my dad's body (many of which are the same ones you mentioned). In those last 3 or 4 days, he barely spoke to us (he was in the hospital), he hardly opened his eyes, he was extremely yellow, thin, exhausted, and in pain. At the exact moment he passed, I was right there, and it simply wouldn't sink in that it was my dad. The physical changes in him were truly drastic; the person I was looking at in that bed didn't even look like him.
From my experience, what you're describing sounds like the end is near. I know it's hard, it's painful, it's terrifying. One of the worst feelings you can go through is witnessing the painful death of someone you love. My advice would be to try to think about her life—about all the good she did while she was on this planet—and try to feel grateful for every single moment you spent with her. I'm also trying to change the way I think and the emotions that flood me when I remember the illness and my dad—trying to turn the grief, the misfortune, and the suffering into gratitude for everything he gave me in life. The people we "lost" are so much more than the event of the illness or the death that we become so consumed by. That's how I try to look at it.
I know I can't comfort you, I know it's hard. I want to send you so much strength.

hollowridge88, I am so sorry, I honestly know exactly what you’re going through. My dad passed away just two months after his diagnosis—there was absolutely nothing we could do. I ran myself ragged trying everything, mentally and physically breaking down, but it didn't matter... I'm with casualhound on everything she said, too. Just stay by your mom's side. Try to keep her hydrated, clean, and comfortable. Even if she's feeling terrible right now, I know she feels your love and that she's proud of you. It's hard to find anything smart to say other than I hope Mom has minimal pain, and I hope you find the strength to get through this. Thinking of you guys.

My dad passed away... 🙂 🙂 🙂
On Friday, August 22nd, at around 3:30 in the morning, he just stopped breathing. It happened after four days without any food or water—after an eight-month battle with stomach cancer that had unfortunately spread to his liver. 😢 He’d been bedridden for three months now.

May he rest in peace.
As a family, we're going to need a lot of time just to wrap our heads around the fact that he's gone—to process all those heavy, difficult days—but we were there, right by his side through it all, and I guess that's the one small comfort I can hold onto. We tried everything, really, but it just wasn't meant to be... 😢 😢 😢

We'll choose to remember the good times—which, thankfully, there were plenty of—and hold onto the memory of him when he was healthy and full of life.

Edward Grant3, I'm so sorry. Sending you my sincere condolences. I know it sucks, but I like to believe our loved ones are in a better place now.

Edward Grant3, please take my condolences. Honestly, I am just so incredibly sorry. It takes a long time—really, a lot of time—for someone to get used to the physical absence of a person, but I truly believe you'll start feeling this other kind of presence... a different kind of love instead

Edward Grant3, please accept my deepest condolences... I hope there's some small comfort in knowing he passed surrounded by his loved ones. As time moves forward, I truly believe that thought will bring you more peace and settle your heart. So, honor him now by finding closure, and move forward with peace and pride in your soul. Dad will always be right there with you. 🙂

Brenda Foster29 said:My dad passed away... 🙂 🙂 🙂
On Friday, August 22nd, at 3:30 in the morning, he just stopped breathing. It happened after four days without any food or water. This followed an eight-month battle with stomach cancer that had unfortunately metastasized to his liver. 😢 He’d been bedridden for three months.

May he rest in peace.
For us, his family, it's going to take quite a while to adjust to the reality that he's gone and to process these incredibly difficult days. But we were there, right by his side through it all, and I suppose that’s the one small comfort we can hold onto. We tried everything, but it simply wasn't meant to be... 😢 😢 😢

We will choose to remember the good days—of which there were plenty—and keep the memory of him healthy and full of life.

Please accept my deepest condolences. May he rest in peace; he has moved on to a better place, free from all pain and suffering.

Looking through the comments, I see many of you have lost someone to this beast, so some individuals here clearly know a lot. I’m facing a situation where I’m not quite sure how to handle things or even identify what the core issue is, so if anyone knows, please explain or offer some advice. My mother received an infusion on Thursday, and before we even left, she was vomiting green fluid; she continued doing so during the trip and after receiving the treatment. Yesterday, she was vomiting all day, and she hasn't stopped all night. She is currently bedridden and has open sores on her spine from being immobile. Whenever I try to move her even slightly, she feels nauseous and vomits, and this happens regardless of any food or liquid she tries to take. She seems terribly nauseous all the time, has severe heartburn, and is experiencing pain in her mouth, throat, and abdomen. I suspect the stomach might be affected by metastases, or perhaps her stomach is just getting used to the lack of nutrition since she's only been able to manage two small bowls of soup and sips of water for two weeks now. I would truly appreciate any advice on how to help her. What is the best way to manage this right now? I'm honestly exhausted from trying to diagnose everything and come up with solutions on my own just to be helpful... it feels like no one wants to react because it really does feel like the end...