Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

Well, here I am again! 🙂 Does anyone happen to know where in Washington, D.C. I can get full blood panels and tumor markers done using a specialist referral? We tried going to Mercy Hospital, but they turned us away. They said we could get the specific markers tested there, but for the standard blood work, we’d have to go back to our primary care clinic. For some very specific reasons, getting this done at our local clinic just isn't an option right now, so I'm trying to figure out which hospital would actually accept a specialist referral for everything at once. I already checked with the facility over at Šalat, but they don't even perform routine blood work there unless it's for highly specialized conditions.

Worst-case scenario, I'll just pay out of pocket and do it privately. But since we already had to pay for the CT scan ourselves (honestly, the wait times they were offering were absolutely ridiculous given the diagnosis), I’d really love to avoid throwing more money down the drain if I don't have to.

Angela Wright said:Well, one thing's for sure—it'll probably take a week or ten—but since the holidays are right around the corner, don't be surprised if things don't move until after N. G.

Hey there, I’m looking for some help here. A buddy of mine—around 60 years old—has just completely lost his strength lately. About ten days ago, we were grabbing coffee and he mentioned he wasn't feeling great, but today? Today he can't even get out of bed. He’s just feeling totally wiped out.
If you have any advice or suggestions on which doctor we should see, please let me know. We’re over in Rijeka, but honestly, we don't mind driving up to Washington, D.C. if that's what it takes.

Best,

George Sullivan31 said:Dear all, I’m reaching out because I really need some guidance. A close friend of mine, who is about 60 years old, has been feeling incredibly weak lately. About ten days ago, we were just grabbing coffee when he mentioned he wasn't feeling quite right. Since then, things have taken a turn for the worse—today, he can barely even get out of bed and is struggling with this overwhelming sense of exhaustion.
If anyone has any advice or could suggest a specific specialist we should see, I would be so grateful. We are currently in Rijeka, but we aren't opposed to making the trip over to Washington, D.C. if that's what it takes.

Sincerely,

If he doesn't have an official diagnosis yet, you really need to get him to his primary care physician immediately to get the ball rolling on some diagnostic tests. It could be anything, honestly, but you don't want to take chances.

On a side note, we actually have ourselves scheduled for blood work at Mercy Hospital soon. If anyone else here has dealt with similar issues, please let us know. 🙂

George Sullivan31 said:Hello, I am looking for some guidance. A friend of mine, about 60 years old, has been feeling incredibly weak lately. About ten days ago, we were grabbing coffee and he mentioned he wasn't feeling great; now, he can't even get out of bed due to this total exhaustion.
If you have any advice or suggestions on which specialist we should see, please let me know. We are currently in Rijeka, but we don't mind driving to Washington, D.C. if necessary.

Best regards,

If he’s reached the point where he’s actually collapsing, stop overthinking it and just take him straight to the ER. Otherwise, you need to follow the standard protocol: start with his primary care physician to run the basics—blood work, urinalysis, blood pressure—and then follow whatever referrals they provide for specialists. There is absolutely no point in making the trip to Washington, D.C. right now.

To everyone here—I’ve been following this thread periodically, always thinking how lucky one is when they don't have a close loved one battling a severe illness. Reality is much more bitter and cruel. My father—to whom I am incredibly attached—finally went in for a chest and abdominal CT a few days ago. They found a "stellate mass." He underwent a bronchoscopy, and today I was told it’s bronchial adenocarcinoma. Does anyone here have similar or identical experiences? He’s suffering from horrific headaches, though his brain MRI came back clear for now; I searched on Google and apparently, those headaches are a side effect of this type of tumor. We are at a loss for how to help him. He has to return to Mercy Hospital on May 1st, but first, he needs further cardiology workups. Supposedly, the cancer is operable. What terrifies me—because I went through this with an uncle who was dear to me and represents my happiest childhood memories—is the fact that he died of suffocation. I am already dreading what lies ahead... I'm distraught, prone to tears, but for the last few days, I kept clinging to the hope that the doctors might have made a mistake—until today, when I heard the diagnosis. On the other hand, Dad refuses to accept he’s sick. He insists he’ll seek second opinions, claiming it's just a benign growth he's had for 15 years and that the doctors have no clue. Perhaps it’s better for him to think that way—it makes him braver—though dealing with him is exhausting right now because he refuses to stay in the hospital and complains about the conditions. We tried to arrange a private suite for him by taking on extra debt, but unfortunately, Mercy Hospital doesn't offer that. There are so many specialists there, and the conditions aren't just bad—they are abysmal. Both the staff and the patients, who are lying there in such agony, are treated so poorly 😢

Carol Price6 said:Hey everyone, I’ve been following this thread off and on, always thinking how lucky I am that I don't have anyone close to me dealing with a serious illness. Reality is hitting hard and fast right now. My father—who I am incredibly close to—finally went in for a CT scan of his chest and abdomen a few days ago. They found a "star-shaped mass." He also had a bronchoscopy, and today they told me it's bronchial adenocarcinoma. Does anyone here have similar experiences? He’s suffering from these horrific headaches, though his brain MRI came back clear so far; I looked it up on Google and apparently, those headaches can be a side effect of the tumor itself. We're just lost on how to help him. He has to head back to Mercy Hospital on May 1st, but he needs to get through some cardiology workups before then. Apparently, the cancer is operable. What really haunts me—because I went through this with an uncle who meant the world to me and was my favorite part of childhood—is the fact that he ended up suffocating. I'm already terrified of what's coming for us... I'm a mess, just crying constantly, though for the last few days I kept telling myself maybe the doctors were wrong, until today when I heard the diagnosis. On the other hand, Dad is in total denial. He insists he isn't sick, claims he’s going to seek out second opinions, and argues that he just has a benign growth he's had for 15 years and that the doctors don't know what they're talking about. Maybe it's better for him to think that way; it keeps him brave, even if it makes things difficult because he refuses to stay in the hospital and complains about the conditions. We tried to book him a nice private room by taking on extra debt, but unfortunately, Mercy Hospital doesn't offer that kind of thing. There are so many experts there, and the facilities aren't just bad—they're downright abysmal. It’s heartbreaking for both the staff and the patients lying there in such agony. 😢

It’s a blessing that it’s operable, and I’m praying there hasn't been any metastasis. Unfortunately, a PhD-level tissue analysis from a bronchoscopy biopsy is rarely wrong, especially with a tumor type this common; there isn't much margin for error there. It's possible your dad had something benign previously that eventually turned malignant.
In any case, you have to latch onto the fact that it can be operated on and put all your hope there.
I had a relative with operable adenocarcinoma over 30 years ago. They removed one lung, and the person lived for another 30 years after that. They eventually passed away due to heart issues—he didn't take great care of himself and struggled with weight.

Yes, he claims there was a benign growth right there discovered about 15 years ago. 😢 Whether that’s actually true or not—it’s hard to say. He hadn't seen a doctor since then, aside from two emergency room visits where things were looking pretty dire. He’s dealing with these savage headaches, but the MRom didn't find any metastases. This PET/CT scan—what exactly does it show? Would it be worth taking him to a private clinic for that imaging? I’m completely lost... I don't know if I should push harder at Mercy Hospital to get him into the hands of a specialized thoracic surgeon, or just let nature take its course... Does anyone know how long the hospital stay is after surgeries like this? His tumor is located deep at the base of his right lung.

Carol Price6 said:Yeah, he’s claiming there was a benign growth in that exact spot discovered about 15 years ago.😢 Whether that's actually true or not is hard to say. He hadn't seen a doctor at all until those two emergency room visits when things finally hit the fan. He’s dealing with these brutal headaches, but the MRom didn't show any metastases. What exactly does this PET/CT machine show? Should I be looking into taking him to a private clinic for that scan? I am completely lost here... I don't know if I should push harder at Mercy Hospital to get him into the hands of a careful thoracic surgeon, or just let nature take its course and see who we get... Does anyone know how long someone stays in the hospital after surgeries like this? His tumor is located deep at the base of his right lung.

You absolutely have to intervene! With the holidays hitting and everyone heading off for ski trips and vacations, you need to rush this through wherever you can. You cannot afford to waste a single second.
A PET/CT is basically a hybrid of two technologies: PET (Positron Emission Tomography) and CT. While the PET tracks metabolic activity within the tissue, combining it with a CT provides a much more comprehensive picture of what's happening inside the entire body.

A PET/CT is definitely a more precise diagnostic tool than a standard CT alone. That said, it really depends on the specific goal of the imaging; sometimes a regular CT is plenty for monitoring or diagnosis. The doctor managing the patient is the best person to make that call.

He’ll likely need surgery first, and then they’ll probably send him for the PET/CT anyway to check for any other hotspots elsewhere in the body.
Also, if his brain MRI was done without contrast—and I truly hope they weren't that incompetent—it's entirely possible they missed a metastasis. If he hasn't had a brain MRI with contrast yet, go get one immediately!

Here’s the latest news. I stepped in and we ended up in the hands of Dr. Janevski—they say he’s top-tier. I don't see any reason to doubt him; unfortunately, I don't know anyone at Jordanovcu, and I firmly believe that professionals actually know what they’re doing. The surgeon stated that without the PET-CT results, he can't decide if the tumor is operable. Dad is scheduled for admission on January 5th, and I suggested today that we just go private to get the PET-CT done immediately. He shot that down—said it's out of the question, that once he's hospitalized again, they'll run it at Rebro and there's no need to waste money. They did an MRI with contrast, as well as a CT, and unfortunately, his reaction was terrible—he broke out in a horrific rash all over his body. 😢 I feel like time is slipping away from him, just as it is for us... and mentally, I am completely broken. I'm usually a pessimist—the kind of radical, nasty pessimist—and this is going to be the end of me... even though I know the most important thing is to show support and stay positive for the patient. For me, personally, nothing is worse than someone hiding things from me. I need to know everything, every single detail, and then it's my problem to figure out how to deal with it.
Everyone keeps advising me not to tell Dad anything, just to tell him he's having surgery and he'll be back out on his boat... The worst part is I can't even tell him they confirmed it's cancer because he is in total denial about the whole thing...

Carol Price6 said:So, here’s the latest update. I stepped in and we managed to get under the care of Dr. Janevski. Apparently, he’s top-tier. I don't have much reason to doubt the word, especially since I don't know anyone at Mercy Hospital, and I tend to trust that professionals actually know what they're doing. The surgeon mentioned that without the PET-CT results, he can't make a call on whether the tumor is operable. Dad is scheduled for admission on January 5th, and I suggested today that we just go private to get the PET-CT done now, but he shot that down immediately. He insists that once he's hospitalized again, they'll run it at the hospital and there's no need to throw money away. They did an MRI with contrast, as well as a CT, and unfortunately, he had a horrific reaction—a terrible rash all over his body 😢 I feel like time is slipping through our fingers, and frankly, I'm mentally exhausted. Normally, I'm a pessimist—the kind of radically, aggressively pessimistic type... this might just bury me. I know the most important thing is to provide support and stay positive for those who are ill, but for me, the absolute worst thing in life is someone withholding information. I need to know everything, even if figuring out how to process it becomes my own personal burden.
Everyone is advising me not to tell Dad anything, just to reassure him that the surgery will happen and he'll be back out by the ocean... the hardest part is that I can't even tell him they've confirmed it's cancer, because he's in total denial about the whole thing...

Dr. Janevski operated on my father-in-law (esophageal cancer) and did a truly stellar job—so much so that radiation or chemo wasn't even necessary, despite it being Stage IIIC (it had spread to the lymph nodes, which were removed).
Just be very careful about how they care for your dad after the surgery; my father-in-law was somewhat neglected, which ended up costing him two months in the hospital 😢. You can look back at my previous posts to see what I mean
. Fight alongside him and don't let him give up.
I lost my mother to ovarian cancer, and when we first found out my father-in-law was sick, my stomach tied itself in knots. I thought I couldn't go through this all over again, but once that initial shock passes, you just have to keep moving forward.

Angela Wright said:Well, one thing is certain: it’ll take anywhere from a week to ten days. But since the holidays are right around the corner, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see anything until after New Year's.

The lung results finally came in, though my mother-in-law can't quite make sense of them, so things are a bit fuzzy on my end. It mentions massive adhesive changes—which I did a quick Google search on and it seems they're just scarring... I really hope so. It also mentions translucency of the left lung parenchyma (which I have absolutely no clue what that means, and couldn't find much help with online), but overall, I wouldn't say it looks significantly worse than the last report. I'll have a clearer picture once I actually get my hands on the paperwork.

We're still waiting on the CT scan results and keeping our fingers crossed for the best. They'll be drawing the markers over at Jordanovanc.
The follow-up appointment is scheduled for the beginning of next month; I'm holding out hope that everything turns out okay.

Carol Price6 said:So, here’s the latest update. I stepped in and intervened, and we finally got through to Dr. Janevski. They say he’s top-tier. Honestly, I have no reason to doubt him because, unfortunately, I don't know anyone over at Mercy Hospital, and I firmly believe that when you find true professionals, you trust them to do their jobs. The surgeon made it clear that without the PET-CT results, he can't make a call on whether the tumor is operable. Dad is scheduled for admission on January 5th, and I suggested today that we just go private and get the PET-CT done now, but he shot that down immediately. He said it's out of the question—once he's back in the hospital, they’ll run it at the facility and there's no point in throwing money away. They did an MRI with contrast, as well as a CT, and unfortunately, his reaction was terrible—he broke out in this horrific rash all over his body. 😢 I feel like time is slipping through our fingers, both for him and for us, and my head is just spinning. I’m usually a pessimist by nature—the kind of brutally, radically pessimistic type—and I’m worried this will be the thing that finally breaks me. But I know the most important thing right now is to show patients support and stay positive. For me, personally, nothing is worse than someone keeping me in the dark. I need to know everything, every single detail, and then it’s up to me to figure out how to deal with it.
Everyone keeps advising me not to tell Dad anything, to just tell him the surgery is happening and that he'll be back out on the water soon... what kills me is that I can't even tell him they’ve confirmed it’s cancer, because he completely denies it's even happening...

Now, let me dive a little deeper into the philosophy of this, but I truly believe the answer to the question "Why me? Why him? Why her?" is hidden right there in the bolded part... God, nature, the universe—whatever you believe in—is pragmatic. It puts you in these exact situations to teach you how to cope, to shape you, and to make you a better person...

...look, you have to sit with yourself and have a real conversation with your own conscience first. Specifically, this isn't happening to you; this is happening to your father. You don't have the right to act in a way that makes it seem like you're suffering more than he is. He’s the one facing the worst of it, and honestly, his hesitation to face the diagnosis is likely because he knows—or fears—how you are going to handle the news. There are no shortcuts here, and there is no charging ahead blindly. This process has its own rhythm, and you have to navigate it as it unfolds. You absolutely cannot turn this into a drama, either for him or for yourself, because if you do, everything will spiral out of control. I know exactly the movie you're starring in because I'm the director of that same genre, believe me, but this situation will refine you in ways you won't believe.
The only way forward is to take it one day at a time and deal with things as they happen. Don't plan, and don't think about anything beyond tomorrow! That is your golden rule, and you should hold onto it like the Holy Bible. That is the only healthy way to move through this.

Right now, you're all in a state of shock, but once the real fight begins, it will actually be much easier for everyone. This initial shock is psychologically the hardest part of any diagnosis, at least for me, because it hits so suddenly and violently... everything else, you prepare for and manage as the situation develops.
Save your energy and don't waste it on trivialities. You’re going to see people's true colors start to show. No matter how messy things get, you’ll pull something good from it; a lot of things will eventually filter out. So, don't fall into one-dimensional thinking. Believe in yourself, believe in your strength, and believe in your dad. That is paramount, and having that foundation is a massive prerequisite for successful treatment.
We are here for you, so come here and vent whenever it gets too heavy. Hang in there. 🙂

Amanda Miller69 said:The lung results came back, but my mother-in-law can't quite make sense of them, so things are a bit fuzzy. Mostly, they mention massive adhesive changes (which I Googled, and apparently means scarring... fingers crossed) and translucency of the left lung parenchyma (not sure what that is, couldn't find a clear answer). Overall, though, I wouldn't say it looks much worse than the last scan (I'll know for sure once I actually have the paperwork in hand).

We’re still waiting on the CT scan and hoping for the best. They'll be running the tumor markers over at Mercy Hospital.
The follow-up is scheduled for early next month; I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything turns out okay.

So, I went down a Google rabbit hole and found this:http://oftankonyv.reak.bme.hu/tiki-i...hest+Radiology
It says:

9.1.4.1. Hyperlucencies (increased transparency)
Bilateral: emphysema (see chronic obstructive lung diseases)
Well-defined: bullous emphysema, lung cysts

Partial or total Hyperinflation occurs if the air content of the lung partially or totally increases (diffuse or bullous emphysema), if there is accumulation of air within the pleural cavity (pneumothorax), or if air-containing cavities in the lung parenchyma also “light up” from the lung view.

Then I kept digging and stumbled upon this:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...s/faq-20058169

A recent chest X-ray showed that I have hyperinflated lungs. What could cause this?

Answers from Edward C. Rosenow III, M.D.
Hyperinflation can also occur When The Air sacs in Your lungs become less elastic, which interferes with the expulsion of air from your lungs. This can happen because air gets trapped within the lung, causing it to overinflate due to obstructions in the passages delivering air to the tissue.

One of The most Common causes of hyperinflated lungs is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)—a condition that includes emphysema. Other issues like asthma or cystic fibrosis can also trigger it.

Sometimes, lungs might look hyperinflated on an X-ray for reasons that don't actually impact lung function. If there's no shortness of breath, there might not be anything to worry about. However, if the cause isn't obvious, a doctor will likely suggest more tests.

With

Edward C. Rosenow III, M.D.

So, it doesn't necessarily mean something new has appeared or that we're looking at something catastrophic like metastasis.
Either way, once the CT results are in, we'll have a much clearer picture of what's actually going on.

Thanks for the advice and support, ladies...
Angela Wright, truly, thank you. The hardest part is coming home from work and checking on Dad—he’s home for a few days over the holidays, and he still looks okay, mostly. Except for those headaches—they're brutal, enough that he's walking around the house constantly wearing a cap just to deal with them... so that's where we are. Just taking it day by day... that's how I've been trying to process it. My little girl is suffering right along with me because I'm completely checked out—my mind is always stuck on a thousand different "what if" scenarios about what comes next.
I can only ask: what should I do regarding his diet? He loves to eat, and I was thinking maybe I should just let him have whatever he wants—he isn't exactly the type to handle strict restrictions well. Yesterday, I walked in to find he had stocked up at the grocery store like he was preparing for a war... he specifically wanted baklava, but that stuff is loaded with sugar, and everything I read says sugar feeds tumor cells. 😢
Does anyone know of any other natural remedies to give his immune system a quick boost before the hospital visit? We're heading out soon, and I'd love for him to have something beneficial to drink during these last seven days... I've been reading about Noni. Does anyone know which brand is actually the best?

Carol Price6 said:God, thanks ladies for all the advice and support...
Angela Wright, thank you so much. The hardest part is coming home from work and seeing Dad—he’s home for a few days over the holidays—and he still looks okay, except for these crushing headaches that leave him constantly wearing a cap around the house... that's just it... one day at a time... that's how I've been trying to process it in my head. My little girl is suffering right along with me because I am completely checked out, constantly spinning a thousand different scenarios about what happens when the time comes.

Don't walk down that road, honey; shut those thoughts down immediately. I wandered down that path myself and ended up on the edge of anorexia and dealing with massive anxiety—basically everything my mother didn't need from me at that moment. Life can throw a million different variables at you; it is impossible to plan for it or prepare for it. It’s exhausting, and in the end, with my mom, nothing went the way I fought and struggled to make it happen... absolutely nothing.

Can I just ask what to do about nutrition? He loves to eat, and I thought maybe I should just let him eat whatever he wants since he isn't the type to handle restrictions very well... yesterday I came home and he had stocked up at the grocery store like he was preparing for war... he wanted baklava, but that stuff is loaded with sugar, which I read feeds cancer cells.😢
Do you guys know of any other natural remedies to give his immune system a quick boost before we head to the hospital? We’re leaving soon, so I want him to at least have something beneficial to sip on for these next seven days... I've been reading about Noni... does anyone know which brand is actually good?

He definitely needs to cut back on the sugar, but honestly, just let him be for these few days until the hospital visit; the tumor isn't going to go wild just because of a little sugar right now.
He should focus on eating healthy, home-cooked meals—lots of fruits and vegetables, especially anything red or orange, since those are packed with antioxidants.
I wouldn't recommend Noni. First off, it’s not native to our environment (we are genetically "tuned" to the nutrients in our own region, and what works for someone in the South Pacific might not work for us and vice versa), and secondly, it grows in volcanic soil that often contains heavy metals. Plus, it's incredibly expensive and puts a lot of strain on the liver.
I'd suggest beta-glucan and propolis. Those are the ones I've had the best luck with.

I picked up some beta glucan and propolis.😁 By the way, I’m not sure if you all saw this—I stumbled upon an article from January about how antioxidants might actually accelerate tumor growth, specifically beta-carotene. My English might be terrible, or maybe I’m just misreading it, but that information really caught me off guard...
Has anyone here used Citrofit? I have some at home—back when I was taking it myself in capsules... I read somewhere that you should take propolis up to seven times a day? And beta glucan at 1000mg daily?

Carol Price6 said:I picked up some beta glucan and propolis.😁 By the way, I don't know if you guys saw this, but I stumbled upon an article from January about how antioxidants might actually accelerate the growth of malignant tumors, specifically beta-carotene. Maybe my English is just terrible or I'm misreading it, but that info really shook me...
Has anyone here used Citrofit? I have some at home from when I was taking it in capsules myself... I read somewhere that you can take propolis up to 7 times a day? And beta glucan 1000mg daily?

That’s just nonsense. Antioxidants bind to free radicals, which directly helps prevent those malignant cells from dividing, all while boosting the immune system—which is the primary factor in fighting cancer. We all have them in our bodies every single second, and our immune systems are constantly destroying them.
My mom took propolis, three capsules three times a day; that’s what they recommended to help her recover after chemo.
I'm not sure about beta glucan. Talk to a pharmacist.
I haven't had any experience with Citrofit.

One crucial piece of advice: don't mix more than three different supplements. Once you pick a regimen, stick to it from start to finish. Ideally, you should choose based on what you personally feel will work best for you.

Angela Wright said:So, I decided to dive down a Google rabbit hole, and this is what I stumbled upon:http://oftankonyv.reak.bme.hu/tiki-i...hest+Radiology
Says:
So, I decided to dig a little deeper into the Google rabbit hole, and here is what I managed to unearth:
The Mayo Clinic provides a fairly comprehensive breakdown regarding melanoma, which is helpful if you're trying to make sense of things. It covers everything from how the disease develops to the various ways doctors approach treatment. Essentially, melanoma starts when the pigment-producing cells—melanocytes—undergo some kind of genetic mutation. This causes them to grow uncontrollably, turning into cancer. While it can show up anywhere on the body, it’s most frequently found on the skin, often appearing as a new spot or a change in an existing mole. When it comes to diagnosis, doctors usually start with a physical exam. If they see something suspicious, they’ll perform a biopsy to get a closer look at the cells under a microscope. Once they have a diagnosis, the next step is typically staging. This involves determining how deep the tumor has penetrated and whether it has spread to nearby lymph nodes or other parts of the body. They might use imaging tools like a CT scan to get a clearer picture of what's happening internally. Treatment isn't one-size-fits-all; it depends entirely on the stage and the specific characteristics of the tumor. For early-stage cases, surgical removal is the standard move. However, if the situation is more advanced, things get a bit more complex. You might see options ranging from immunotherapy—using drugs like Opdivo + Yervoy to help your own immune system fight the cancer—to targeted therapies like Zelboraf, which targets specific mutations. In some instances, traditional methods like chemotherapy using agents such as Adriamycin or Xeloda might be part of the plan. It’s a lot to process, but having this kind of roadmap can make the clinical side of things feel slightly less overwhelming.
It doesn't necessarily have to be something they haven't dealt with before, nor does it strictly need to be something major—like, say, a new metastasis.
In any case, once everyone sees the results from the CT scan, they'll all be feeling significantly more enlightened.

The CT results finally came in, and frankly, I’m not liking what I see. Of course, my father-in-law went through the whole report and insisted it was all disconnected nonsense, but even through his skepticism, I managed to catch the grim details. There are some 24mm masses on the trachea, along with other growths mentioned elsewhere—apparently involving secondary sites in the liver and a few other spots, though my memory is already starting to fail me on the specifics.
A doctor friend of his suggested that if he didn't undergo chemo for the previous situation, then he shouldn't bother with this one either—implying it's perfectly fine to skip. Honestly, it feels like we’re being played again, just like the first time. On top of that, he mentioned there is fluid in the lungs... what exactly causes that to build up?
Right, I completely overlooked the enlarged lymph nodes; what exactly are we looking at there?
I need to get my husband home as soon as possible to pick up those test results. Once he has them, I’ll be forwarding them straight to his oncologist, but I have to admit, I am feeling incredibly anxious about this.

Amanda Miller69 said:The CT results just came back, and honestly, I hate everything I’m reading. My father-in-law went through the report—even if he couldn't make sense of all the medical jargon—but I gathered there are some 24mm masses on the trachea and potentially elsewhere. They mentioned secondary growths on the liver too, but my head is spinning and I've already lost track of the details.
A doctor friend of ours suggested that if he didn't receive chemo for the previous issue, they won't provide it for this one either, and that it's somehow "fine." Personally, I feel like we're being played again, just like last time. He also mentioned fluid in the lungs... where does that even come from?
Oh, and I completely forgot about the enlarged lymph nodes; what's the deal with those?
I need to get my husband home immediately to grab that report so I can forward it to the oncologist, but I am seriously freaking out.

Yeah, look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what you're describing isn't good. 😢

Pleural effusion: http://www.yourdoctor.com/medicine/about-pleural-effusion

It looks like there are clear targets on the lungs, the lymph nodes, and the liver...
...I honestly don't get why they haven't started him on radiation or at least some Xeloda... damn it all. 🤦

Angela Wright said:...look, you really have to sit down with yourself and have an honest conversation with your own conscience first. The truth is, this isn't happening to you; this is happening to your dad. You don't have the right to act in a way that makes it seem like you're suffering more than he is. He’s the one going through the worst of it, and honestly, the reason he’s fixated on certain diagnoses is likely because he's terrified of how you're going to handle all of this. There are no shortcuts here, and there's no way to fast-track this process. It has its own timeline, and you just have to navigate the situation as it unfolds. Whatever you do, don't turn this into a drama—not for him and not for yourself—otherwise, everything is just going to spiral out of control. I know exactly what kind of movie you're starring in because I've directed that same genre myself, believe me. But trust me, this experience will change you in ways you won't believe by the end.
So, you take it one day at a time and deal with things as they come. Don't try to plan too far ahead or obsess over the future beyond tomorrow! That is your golden rule, and you should hold onto it as tightly as the Holy Bible. That's the only way to stay sane and move forward healthily.

I second this completely. When our family went through our crisis (a perforated colon, a life-saving emergency, the sudden realization that a tumor had been there...), I was hit with pure panic. Eventually, I took a deep breath, pushed my own fears to the back burner, and focused entirely on caring for my patient. I didn't hide information from her; I shared everything with her (only verified facts, mind you, not wild speculation), but I made sure to read up on everything possible beforehand so I could present the facts calmly. What I noticed was that she mirrored my energy perfectly. If someone spoke to her with panic, she would panic right along with them. But when I delivered news in a calm, steady manner, she would settle down and try to stay optimistic. It reminded me so much of a child who falls down: they look at their mom first, and based on the expression on her face, they decide whether they're going to burst into tears or just laugh it off.