Tango & Cash

Completely. Forgot. About. The. Movie.

🙂

Honestly, this is just getting a bit tedious.

Driving through the badlands of a private estate 😁
(Cash is behind the wheel of a heavy-duty Jeep)

Cash: "I've got some bad news and some good news."
Tango: "Lay the bad news on me first."
Cash: "We're running on fumes here."
Tango: "So what's the good part?"
Cash: "The good part is we're ALMOST out of gas..."

😂

LOL, what a bunch of idiots...

And this guy Perret? He couldn't stop them even if he had an army of 500 guys backing him up.

🤣

And let's talk about the complete lack of logic here... they just wiped out 200 people and nobody even blinked.😂

😳

...I've already made my stance pretty clear 🙂

Oh my goodness, that music at the end is... everything!!! Awww... why do I have such a massive soft spot for those 80s hair metal bands? 😍

Edward Nguyen said:Oh my god, that music at the end is... everything!!! Seriously... why do I have such a massive soft spot for those 80s hair metal bands? 😍

you get the best of what I've got!

😂

total gayness 😂

but his sister is hot. 🙂

...meh.

This was my absolute favorite movie growing up. Look, give me a break—I was ten. Actually... you don't even have to get it. I don't even get it myself. 😬

I honestly feel like this movie deserves 11 Oscars, especially if you count the ones for Best Director and Best Original Screenplay. 😬

[IMPORTANT UPDATE] I’ve had a massive realization
[/VAZNA INFORMACIJA]

Tango is GAY.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Here is why: 😁

1. Right at the start, Tango is talking to his sister like she’s some girlfriend he's trying to impress—asking if they're meeting up, if she'll be good, when they can hang out, blah blah blah...

2. Then there's that scene where his sister is sitting on Cash, massaging him and getting all touchy, and Tango walks into the room, rolls his eyes, shuts them in disbelief, and looks like he's about to burst into tears. 😁

3. Even in the prison shower scene, Cash is busy making fun of Tango for having a tiny weener, and instead of hitting back, Tango just goes "MINNIE MOUSE"... lol.

4.[turning point alert] The most important scene

They’re driving around in that "this-jeep-can-handle-anything" vehicle when suddenly-----------THEY STOP.
😕

Like total idiots, they have to "scout the situation." 😂

So they're squinting through binoculars, and out of nowhere, you hear Tango...

Tango: "Cash, you know....if I die here, I want you to know.....(want him to know what??! THAT YOU LOVE HIM?!?!?! 😁 )....that you're the best cop I've ever worked with" (he actually sheds a tear).

Cash: "And Tango....If you DO die here...I want you to know....

...I'll still date your sister"...

HAAAAHA faca! 👍

But seriously, Tango is gay. No doubts about it.

Not a chance, my friend. Tango & Cash are easily the two most straight men I have ever seen on a television screen. Any other claim feels like a personal insult.

TANGO IS A H*E*T*E*R*O*S*E*X*U*A*L

CASH IS A H*E*T*E*R*O*S*E*X*U*A*L

Edward Nguyen said:this is booooooooooring.

That’s likely because you have a feminine sensibility; this simply isn't your kind of cinema. It is meant to be a gripping epic centered on male camaraderie—think along the lines of Saving Private Ryan, just layered with heavy metal and subpar one-liners.

This movie is a total legend. They just don't make stuff like this anymore. 🙂
I'm pretty sure the guy who played Gul Dukat on Deep Space Nine was in this too.

casualotter21 said:It’s basically an epic saga about brotherhood.

I mean, yeah...

That stuff hits home for us guys every single time.

...honestly... movies centered on male loyalty and friendship NEVER go out of style. 😬

😁 😁 😁

Seriously, what is happening to the world? The 80s and early 90s were loaded with such incredibly hilarious, cult-classic action flicks, but now we’re stuck with garbage like Charlie's Angels... My god, what happened to us?😢

Tango & Cash is just too brilliantly stupid not to be a total cult classic. And don't even get me started on Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Edward Nguyen said:Oh my god, that music at the end is... everything!!! awww... why do I love 80s hair metal bands so much?😍

Because they’re impossible to resist.

I suspect it has more to do with the tight leather pants and the constant camera shots of crotches.

casualotter21 said:That's because you're a woman. This isn't your kind of movie. It's an epic saga about male friendship. Basically like "Saving Private Ryan" but with heavy metal and cheesy one-liners.

Just so we're clear... this one actually stung...

nimblemarlin17 said:What is actually happening to this miserable world? The 80s and early 90s handed us such incredible, hilarious cult action classics, yet now we’re stuck with garbage like Charlie's Angels... My god, what has the world come to?😢

Tango & Cash is just too brilliantly ridiculous not to be a cult classic. And don't even get me started on Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme.

You're absolutely right. They're heavyweights. I'd throw Luc Lambert into that mix too—then we'd have ourselves a true holy trinity of actors.

casualotter21 said:That’s just because you're a woman—this isn't really your kind of movie. It's an epic saga about brotherhood—think along the lines of Saving Private Ryan, but fueled by hard rock and terrible one-liners.

Oh, and you're clearly one of those closeted types too.

rapidstag74 said:It's because nobody can resist them.

I suspect it has everything to do with tight leather pants and keeping the crotch center stage in every shot.

Well, that is classic male logic right there—and predictably, it's completely off base. It actually stems from the fact that every woman thinks she’s the special one who can take some wild, reckless rockstar and turn him into a total sweetheart—someone who will love nothing but her, stay devoted forever, and even carry her shopping bags (even though he acts like a complete tough guy to everyone else... you know the vibe: "I need a man, I need a real man, someone solid as a rock to protect me and fight my battles...")

Joseph Thomas4 said:You're spot on. Those guys are heavyweights. I’d throw Luc Lambert into that mix too, and then you've got a massive trio of talent right there.

It’s more than just Luc Lambert... don't even go there. You could fill an entire NFL roster with names like that. Arnie, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris... 🙄

Legends living large in my heart (and yours, hopefully).

quote:

Stallone: Rambo is a total wimp! *BANG*

😁 😁 😁 😁