Diaspora Moderator - Ironing Man

I honestly don't think users focus on the moderators anywhere else on this site quite as much as they do in the diaspora section. In all the four years I've been following this, I haven't seen a single good one. It’s always the same cycle: either too few people are stepping up, or there are way too many. Either the vibe is too far left or too far right. They either delete way too much or not nearly enough. Or they claim someone isn't "this type" or "that type." And look, it's not like the entire site is falling apart just because of the mods. It also strikes me as pretty strange how people who moderate other sections perfectly fine suddenly turn into total bullies the moment they step into the diaspora sub-forum.
For instance, I only took on a moderation role because I wanted to help out when nobody else would, but then I got attacked—along with a few other "housewives"—as if I were some sort of conspiracy theorist. Honestly, I wouldn't even be qualified to step into Hillary Clinton's shoes. It’s also interesting how on certain topics in the diaspora section, people don't even notice the mods exist, yet on others, it's just a constant loop of the same people calling them out.

ambermason16 said:First, thanks to my colleagues for the support. Now, let’s lay this out clearly:

- It's bad when I'm not around.
- It's bad when I am around.
- It's bad when trolls harass you (just look back at how much everyone cried about getting Papa Smurf removed).
- It's bad when trolls, trolling, or spamming actually get sanctioned.
- It's bad when someone tries to join the discussion—because apparently, what could a random American woman living in Los Angeles possibly have to say to you? Just some mindless nobody, right?
- It's bad when people DON'T participate—because clearly, it's my sacred duty to force high-quality conversation (an argument you pull out like you're trying to squeeze free moonshine out of a dry stone), while completely ignoring the fact that YOU are the ones supposed to be providing 99% of the intelligence here.
- Every single moderator in the history of the diaspora is worthless. Every one of them! They're just monsters put there specifically to abuse you poor souls. And you won't even lift a finger to call any of them, or me, out when it's deserved.
- It's bad if there's no moderation, because then the trolls kill you.
- It's bad when people are punished, because... what trolls? You're just swatting mosquitoes.
- It's bad when people ask you questions (and I'm talking about the users)... because why should they bother pestering you a hundred times about the same thing? (I'll cite Vilk and Nicole Morales3 as clear exceptions here... if I missed anyone, my apologies... the diaspora does have quality users. But then there's that annoying disability where a handful of people make it their life's mission to destroy this thread and then blame the moderators for it.)
- It's bad when people don't ask you, because what do they know about life in the diaspora? Who are they to lecture you anyway?
- It's always bad.
- Everything is bad.

Moving on:

I still don't see a single damn example of poor moderation on my part. Something was deleted? Fine. Name it. We'll find it.

All I see are two or three of you who needed at least three warnings and a red card just to stop spitting on me from dawn till dusk and posting your grievances exactly where they belong. Like I said, I still don't see a single actual instance of wrongdoing. Just pure spite.

Discuss with you? You had your knives drawn before I could even get a word in. You act arrogant, you act condescending, and there is zero talk of cooperation between moderators and users... so what am I supposed to discuss with you? I don't want to. I'm not interested in that kind of communication. Dozens of high-quality users I could actually relate to are perpetually drowned out by a few of you who have decided you're the local sheriffs. I have nothing to talk to you about. Besides, that isn't even my primary job. My job is to keep order in this thread... which is practically impossible (see my "It's bad when..." section above). As you all love to point out—I don't engage with you. So, am I the one trolling? Am I the one spamming? Am i the one being abusive? Or are you all just responsible for your own mess?

There is an entire dimension of mental wrecks who clone themselves faster than rabbits, making sure every single morning a new "world class whore" PM is waiting in my inbox (we're talking dozens of PMs, not just trolls... and even they are plenty) I won't even mention it.

So? Where is the error? Why can't the super-moderator see it? Why can't the admins see it? Why is it always the same group of people pointing fingers? Is it because I refuse to be their little friend? Boo-hoo. Rewind the tape and think about how you treated your friends versus how you treat people trying to enter your sub-forum... and there's your reason why I won't socialize with you. Doing so doesn't break any rules.

And why am I handing out cards and deleting posts? Look, it's simple: Because you're breaking the forum rules. Rules I committed to protecting. And I intend to keep doing exactly that.

Disclaimer: I am glad this petty bickering is finally being put in its place. I have made myself clear. That is all you are getting from me. Don't expect a twenty-five-page debate. If the admins decide I acted wrongly, they will sanction me just as I sanction you. And get it through your heads: I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to ruin your thread or systematically target someone personally. You aren't that important.

"you're acting arrogant, you're being condescending, there's zero cooperation between moderators and users" — honestly, you built this bed yourself. You set this tone from day one.
I mean, by your twisted logic, we welcomed Skate the exact same way, right? But apparently, we didn't...

"Because you're breaking the rules. Rules I've committed to protecting. And I intend to keep doing just that." — please. As a moderator, you committed to a dozen other duties too, none of which you actually bother to do. So, I'll say it again: if you hate the diaspora so much, then just leave... I certainly wouldn't stick around for a job I despise.

I'm not even going to dignify those other "you're worthless" litanies with a response. I refuse to sink to your level, which is clearly something you've mastered with those threatening posts you aimed at us "kids" in the chat.
I get the feeling you'd love nothing more than to keep beating us over the head whenever you feel like it, but those impulses are yours alone. The rest of us are just left guessing what's going on in that head of yours.

My suggestion? Get off the throne. Either quit the diaspora entirely or try joining us on a normal, human level...

Steven Ruiz said:@ Nicole Morales3, you claim that being nitpicked over every little detail really gets under your skin, yet somehow you have this incredibly selective memory regarding how things actually went down... It makes it look like Milos was the only one posting trash while Dead Cold was the only one who got penalized. Honestly, I couldn't care less about whether someone is a Mexican or an American. Both sides were talking nonsense, and both sides ended up getting hit with a seven-day ban.
End of.

It’s not just about Milos being the only one talking crap; it's about the fact that these kinds of blowups are never worth it. They aren't fun for the people involved, and they sure as hell aren't fun for anyone reading them. For the record, I also don't care about someone's background until they start using it to provoke people. Am I really the only one who thinks this is an issue? It irritates me just as much when Mexicans or Americans act like they have zero self-respect, and then expect everyone else to show it too.

Yeah, honestly—it would be great if everyone just buried the hatchet, hit the reset button, and actually tried to level up the quality of this sub-forum together.

Maybe we should look into doing the following:

1. Start cracking down on trolling and provocation—specifically focusing less on the trolls and more on the people actively stirring the pot.
2. Maybe the mods shouldn't jump down our necks every single time someone goes slightly off-topic.
3. Some of us who get annoyed by certain things probably shouldn't even bother reacting. We should just let the mods decide if there’s an actual issue or not. Honestly, ignoring them might be the best way to handle any kind of provocation, because if you don't feed the beast, it dies out. :-)
4. We should probably allow threads that aren't strictly about emigration issues to exist, giving the diaspora some space to talk about stuff from their own perspective.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. I've been hanging around this forum since late 2002, mostly sticking to these circles (the diaspora), and I've met several truly great people here—well, known them by name, at least, even if we haven't met in person yet. Because of that, it would suck if the diaspora section ended up looking like Honduras.

coppernomad28 said:"you're acting arrogant, you're being condescending, there's zero cooperation between moderators and users" — honestly, you built this bed yourself. You set this tone from day one.
I mean, by your twisted logic, we welcomed Skate the exact same way, right? But apparently, we didn't...

"Because you're breaking the rules. Rules I've committed to protecting. And I intend to keep doing just that." — please. As a moderator, you committed to a dozen other duties too, none of which you actually bother to do. So, I'll say it again: if you hate the diaspora so much, then just leave... I certainly wouldn't stick around for a job I despise.

I'm not even going to dignify those other "you're worthless" litanies with a response. I refuse to sink to your level, which is clearly something you've mastered with those threatening posts you aimed at us "kids" in the chat.
I get the feeling you'd love nothing more than to keep beating us over the head whenever you feel like it, but those impulses are yours alone. The rest of us are just left guessing what's going on in that head of yours.

My suggestion? Get off the throne. Either quit the diaspora entirely or try joining us on a normal, human level...

Your little proposal was rejected. Both parts of it.

My actual suggestion to my colleagues is this: just shut this whole thing down because... honestly, I mean it. 😁

ambermason16 said:Your little proposal was rejected. Both parts of it.

My actual suggestion to my colleagues is this: just shut this whole thing down because... honestly, I mean it. 😁

There goes the typical ambermason16, playing the victim and demanding we close the thread just because you can't handle the heat. This discussion was only opened here because you insisted on it after you started deleting and splitting empty threads once people began debating things in the chat.

coppernomad28 hit the nail on the head. Look, Skate Mus arrived at the exact same time you did, and she’s been nothing but professional, doing her job perfectly without anyone raising an eyebrow.
You, on the other hand, are a completely different story.

mistyhound2 said:Look, they don't need to be some kind of intergalactic overlord, though honestly, that would be pretty cool 😁 They just need to be normal. That’s really all anyone expects. This whole PDF thing isn't some sacred text, and I certainly don't believe the moderators on this site are the biggest badasses in the universe either. 😁 ambermason16, with that aggressive "savior complex" attitude and irritating behavior, basically poisoned the well with nothing but dislike and distrust from day one on that miserable PDF. Personally, I never sent threatening messages to mods—or anyone else for that matter—I never used burner accounts, and it never even crossed my mind. To be honest, I haven't felt like posting on that PDF for ages, and it wasn't because of the mods; they were all perfectly fine by me. It was because of those windbags who spend nearly 24 hours a day acting like experts, lecturing everyone, and Googling facts that any sane person could find themselves. Sure, there are annoying users, and sure, there are likable people too. Everyone has two choices: keep typing, or just ignore it and boycott the whole thing. Let everyone decide for themselves. ☕

Am I supposed to have been normal? Second? Boss? A little hobbit? etc., etc...
NOBODY was actually doing a good job.
When I was appointed (for the second time) to moderate the diaspora section, I was practically greeted with open arms before I could even manage to perform a single moderation task or take any kind of action...
Everything that ambermason16 wrote above is the absolute truth, I'm afraid...

Jose Anderson8 said:I honestly don't think users focus on the moderators anywhere else on this site quite as much as they do in the diaspora section. In all the four years I've been following this, I haven't seen a single good one. It’s always the same cycle: either too few people are stepping up, or there are way too many. Either the vibe is too far left or too far right. They either delete way too much or not nearly enough. Or they claim someone isn't "this type" or "that type." And look, it's not like the entire site is falling apart just because of the mods. It also strikes me as pretty strange how people who moderate other sections perfectly fine suddenly turn into total bullies the moment they step into the diaspora sub-forum.
For instance, I only took on a moderation role because I wanted to help out when nobody else would, but then I got attacked—along with a few other "housewives"—as if I were some sort of conspiracy theorist. Honestly, I wouldn't even be qualified to step into Hillary Clinton's shoes. It’s also interesting how on certain topics in the diaspora section, people don't even notice the mods exist, yet on others, it's just a constant loop of the same people calling them out.

👍

When I issue a warning over on Photography, nobody even bats an eye, not even for a three-day ban... People there actually know when they've crossed the line, and they also know that I'm not exactly looking for power since I've been moderating forever... so warnings are truly a last resort reserved only for those who really deserve them. That goes for both Photography and the diaspora section...
If someone gets a warning or a ban, you just peel it off and move on; nobody mentions it, nobody starts a revolution, and there's no talk of conspiracies between users versus mods—we just keep going like nothing ever happened...
But then, when a meaningless post gets deleted in the diaspora section and results in a warning... suddenly it's all conspiracies, endless drama, and ten-day revolutions... and the outcry spreads from the diaspora all the way to the PZK and onto external forums and blogs, where they drag the name and reputation of the moderator who actually HAD THE AUDACITY to delete a post or issue a warning.
What a circus... 🙏🙏

@ Nicole Morales3, you hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly why they both ended up getting penalized.
But then later on, she started going, "Why hasn't Milos been permanently banned, and why did you give a ban to Dead Cold?" And honestly, that whole line of questioning wasn't even coming from her specifically, but rather from a bunch of other trolls and agitators who were just dying to jump back into the fray once the warnings and bans were handed out, just so they could drag the conversation back to the moderators again...🤦

Steven Ruiz said:Am I supposed to have been normal? Second? Boss? A little hobbit? etc., etc...
NOBODY was actually doing a good job.
When I was appointed (for the second time) to moderate the diaspora section, I was practically greeted with open arms before I could even manage to perform a single moderation task or take any kind of action...
Everything that ambermason16 wrote above is the absolute truth, I'm afraid...

Well, I already said clearly that all the mods were fine by me. You, Second, Boss (ugh, man, who even remembers Boss anymore?), Hobbit—aka Adex—Gatto... I can't even remember all of them. 😁 Honestly, I never had an issue with the mods on the diaspora board, or anywhere else for that matter. Yeah, I did once, way back in 2002, over on Winona, but everyone was constantly breathing down her neck. 😁 And she wasn't even part of the diaspora group. Look, whoever wants to claim whatever, fine, just try being a normal person for once. Like you guys. 🙂

ambermason16, why are we even shutting this down now? 😕 You basically caused this whole massacre just so you could open it HERE. 😕 Besides, you barely even use it anyway. ☕

Steven Ruiz said:@ Nicole Morales3, you hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly why they both ended up getting penalized.
But then later on, she started going, "Why hasn't Milos been permanently banned, and why did you give a ban to Dead Cold?" And honestly, that whole line of questioning wasn't even coming from her specifically, but rather from a bunch of other trolls and agitators who were just dying to jump back into the fray once the warnings and bans were handed out, just so they could drag the conversation back to the moderators again...🤦

Personally, I don't see the big deal with clones. Why not just slap a permanent ban on that IP address and call it a day? 😕 And why waste any energy on these clones who have nothing better to do than stir the pot? Just ignore them and move on...☕

Nicole Morales3 said:Yeah, honestly—it would be great if everyone just buried the hatchet, hit the reset button, and actually tried to level up the quality of this sub-forum together.

Maybe we should look into doing the following:

1. Start cracking down on trolling and provocation—specifically focusing less on the trolls and more on the people actively stirring the pot.
2. Maybe the mods shouldn't jump down our necks every single time someone goes slightly off-topic.
3. Some of us who get annoyed by certain things probably shouldn't even bother reacting. We should just let the mods decide if there’s an actual issue or not. Honestly, ignoring them might be the best way to handle any kind of provocation, because if you don't feed the beast, it dies out. :-)
4. We should probably allow threads that aren't strictly about emigration issues to exist, giving the diaspora some space to talk about stuff from their own perspective.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. I've been hanging around this forum since late 2002, mostly sticking to these circles (the diaspora), and I've met several truly great people here—well, known them by name, at least, even if we haven't met in person yet. Because of that, it would suck if the diaspora section ended up looking like Honduras.

Now, this is getting somewhere concrete, and it feels like a real step toward improvement!
The community should sit down with the current moderators and have a CIVILIZED discussion about what needs to change, and then everyone should actually STICK to what was decided...
Over at the Photography forum, we have a thread called "Dear Moderator..." where members can reach out directly regarding moderator actions, offer suggestions, and so on...
To be totally honest, I had considered starting a similar thread here in the Diaspora section, but considering the sheer amount of trolls, the hostility toward the mods, and the fact that such a thread would probably just spiral out of control immediately, I never actually got around to it...
The point is, a thread like that shouldn't be used to mock the moderators or ask ridiculous questions, but rather to address real, specific concerns... if you're interested, you should go take a look...
On the Photography side, people actually follow the rules, and the thread works beautifully...
And honestly, you rarely hear anyone whining about bans or deleted posts over there...
The cooperation between the moderators and the users is just FANTASTIC...
If the Diaspora section could even reach HALF the level of what we have over there, it would be a massive leap forward, making the whole forum much more pleasant and engaging...

But for that to happen, you really need to have some trust in the mods, stop constantly being at their throats, and find a way to build a path toward real cooperation...

mistyhound2 said:Well, I already said clearly that all the mods were fine by me. You, Second, Boss (ugh, man, who even remembers Boss anymore?), Hobbit—aka Adex—Gatto... I can't even remember all of them. 😁 Honestly, I never had an issue with the mods on the diaspora board, or anywhere else for that matter. Yeah, I did once, way back in 2002, over on Winona, but everyone was constantly breathing down her neck. 😁 And she wasn't even part of the diaspora group. Look, whoever wants to claim whatever, fine, just try being a normal person for once. Like you guys. 🙂

ambermason16, why are we even shutting this down now? 😕 You basically caused this whole massacre just so you could open it HERE. 😕 Besides, you barely even use it anyway. ☕

Personally, I don't see the big deal with clones. Why not just slap a permanent ban on that IP address and call it a day? 😕 And why waste any energy on these clones who have nothing better to do than stir the pot? Just ignore them and move on...☕

The clone problem here is absolutely massive, and it’s hitting the diaspora hardest of all. Honestly, in my entire history as a moderator, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered this many clones anywhere else... It’s just overwhelming! I would love to implement permanent IP bans to fix this once and for all, but unfortunately, the higher-ups won't allow it, which is such a shame...

And that’s really all I have to say about that... 🤦

🤦

Lupus in fabula. 🤦

Steven Ruiz, I honestly thought people like that only got banned on those specific PDFs where they just frantically clone themselves over and over.

Personally, I’ve never had an issue with any of the mods on this forum, regardless of their individual styles. 🤷
My problem is with the uneducated spinsters and the people who just love to beat around the bush. That goes for all of Forum.hr, but let's just say this specific sub holds a special place in my heart when it comes to that particular headache. 👍 There aren't even that many spinsters in terms of percentage, but whenever they show up, they're all you see. 🙂

mistyhound2 said:🤦

Lupus in fabula. 🤦

Steven Ruiz, I honestly thought people like that only got banned on those specific PDFs where they just frantically clone themselves over and over.

A "deep" post from Kokuza? More like science fiction. 😁

mistyhound2 said:🤦

Lupus in fabula. 🤦

Steven Ruiz, I honestly thought people like that only got banned on those specific PDFs where they just frantically clone themselves over and over.

We asked, but no luck.
🤷

Just a bunch of straw-men bashers and uneducated morons 😂😂😂 Oh, and let me not forget the educated Google-morons—they’re a whole different breed, though they seem way too obsessed with politics 😁

Steven Ruiz said:We asked, but no luck.
🤷

What a waste. 😢

Politics really doesn't give a damn about the diaspora...
The fact that not a single moderator from Politics even wanted to step up and handle the diaspora moderation tells you everything you need to know... 😬

The Diaspora should be a place where people can actually connect and talk about real issues facing those of us living abroad—discussing our outlook on life, the cultural diversity we encounter daily, how that shapes us, the integration process, the hurdles we face, and the perks too. But what has this forum turned into? An endless loop of answering the exact same three questions: how to get out of America, how to snag a visa, and how to find a job overseas.
It’s become a glorified information center for people who join the forum just to ask the same question in a million different ways... "I'm a carpenter, how do I get a job?" "I'm a mason, how do I get a job?" "I'm a complete loser, how do I get a job?"
Any other topic, or even a slight tangent away from those repetitive questions, tends to get shut down by moderators who just swoop in to kill the thread and lock it.
Here’s a fresh example if you don't believe me: Stephanie started a thread about self-confidence or something along those lines (not my cup of tea, personally), but plenty of people were actually interested in the discussion until, of course, our diligent moderator stepped in and locked it down.
And then we’re right back to the usual discussions on how to become a truck driver or how to apply for a visa to some random country...