Eragon

Look, I’m not trying to start a fight here. But honestly—if you actually think this movie is good, you clearly don't know anything about cinema because, objectively speaking, this is one of the absolute worst films of the year. As a piece of Fantasy, it’s total garbage since it ignores basically every rule in the Dungeons & Dragons playbook. Even as a "new" fantasy world, it fails miserably for all those same reasons—which is why some people have already realized the whole thing is complete trash. It would have worked best as a campy cult classic if it just leaned into being ridiculous, but instead, it tries to be dead serious, which is an utter disaster. If you’re out here telling me this movie is great, I honestly don't know what else to say about your taste in film. Sorry, but that's just the reality. Try to be objective for once. You might subjectively enjoy a certain line, a dragon, or the soundtrack, but strictly looking at the quality? This movie is just plain bad.

Man, I haven't even seen it yet... but that trailer is seriously cool...

For real though, producers always have this habit of just throwing the absolute best scenes from the whole movie into the trailer🙂

Austin Roberts8 said:Look, you can't argue with taste. But honestly? Anyone who thinks this movie is actually good clearly doesn't know anything about cinema, because objectively speaking, this is one of the worst films out this year. As a piece of Fantasy, it’s total garbage since it ignores all those D&D rules. Even as a new fantasy world, it fails miserably for all those same reasons—which is why some people have already realized the whole thing is absolute junk. It would have worked best as a campy trash flick that pokes fun at itself, but instead, it tries to be dead serious, which is an absolute disaster. If you actually like this movie, there isn't much left to say about your understanding of film. Sorry, but that's just how it is. Try to be objective here. You might subjectively enjoy a specific line, a dragon, the music, or whatever, but objectively? This movie is just plain bad.

My God, what a load of nonsense you're spewing. First, you claim that "taste is subjective," and then immediately pivot to trying to convince everyone else they're wrong if they think the movie is good. That is incredibly contradictory, man. And what on earth are these "rules" you're talking about?? Seriously, what rules even exist? Fantasy? The whole point of the genre is to lean into imagination—it’s totally absurd to suggest there are rigid rules for designing an unreal world, characters, or plots... everything! That is literally the entire purpose of F A N T A S Y!🙄 Coffee shop D&D rules?! Man, I swear, I hate that narrow-mindedness so much. It's the exact same kind of gatekeeping you see in the music scene (especially with those hardcore metalheads).

The movie was alright—though I’ve always had a soft spot for kid flicks—but it definitely wasn't meant for the big screen. It feels more like a TV movie, honestly, and the plot is just a mess of holes; nothing connects. The acting is pretty rough too, especially John Malkovich—he was absolutely desperate in this one. Nothing feels fleshed out and it's totally unoriginal: first he gets an egg, then his cousin gets killed, then he meets the dragon, then his protector gets hurt, then the dragon gets hurt, then the girl he hears in his head gets hurt, then the dragon again, then he gets hurt... I saw the whole predictable cycle coming from a mile away. 😬

Samuel Ortiz3 said:God, you're talking absolute nonsense. First you claim tastes aren't up for debate, then you turn around trying to convince everyone else they're wrong if they think the movie is good. You're being incredibly contradictory. And what kind of "rules" are you even rambling about, for crying out loud?!! Are there actually rules here? It's Fantasy. That whole genre is built on imagination—it’s honestly ridiculous to suggest there are set rules for building an unreal world, characters, or plots... everything! That's basically the whole point of Fantasy. That's why it's called F A N T A S Y! 🙄 D&D rules for coffee?! Man, I hate narrow-mindedness. It's the same kind of gatekeeping you see in music (especially with metalheads).

Look, you're just talking trash (to put it in your terms). If you’d actually bothered to read what I wrote, you’d realize I was distinguishing between the subjective and objective experience of a film. There’s zero contradiction there. Objectively, the movie is garbage. Subjectively, it can be whatever (THAT’S WHAT TASTE IS). Personally, I liked maybe two lines of dialogue, and that's about all that saves the movie for me. So, to ME, it isn't total trash. Charles Taylor10 already explained beautifully why the movie is objectively bad, even if she doesn't care either way. That’s what I was getting at, but you just twisted it to fit your own narrative and started throwing insults.

As for Fantasy, do yourself a favor and actually read up on what the genre is. Go hit up an American fantasy forum and do some research before you start insulting people and spouting nonsense about things you clearly know nothing about. To you, I bet Harry Potter counts as fantasy. Newsflash: it doesn't.

Austin Roberts8 said:Look, you’re talking nonsense (to put it in your terms). If you actually bothered to read what I wrote, you’d see I’m talking about the subjective versus objective experience of a movie. There’s zero contradiction there. Objectively? Yeah, the movie is straight-up garbage. Subjectively? It can be whatever—that’s just taste. Personally, there were maybe two lines in the whole thing I actually liked, which is barely enough to save it for me. So, to ME, it isn't total trash. Charles Taylor10 explained even better than I did why the movie is objectively bad, but hey, if she doesn't care, that's fine. That’s what I was getting at, but you just twisted it to suit your own narrative and started throwing insults.

And as for fantasy—man, please, go read up on what fantasy actually is. Maybe hop on an American fantasy forum and do some homework before you start insulting people and spouting nonsense about something you clearly know nothing about. To you, I bet Harry Potter counts as fantasy. Newsflash: it's not.

Some people here take the word "objective" way too seriously. Seriously, what does "objectively bad" even mean? By what criteria? I say the directing is decent; you say it’s bad. You say the acting is terrible; I say it’s passable. We could go back and forth on this forever. Are you some trained film scholar or a professional critic who knows every single metric used to judge a quality film? (And let’s be real, knowing that stuff takes years of study, which is totally fair, right?) If you are—and I highly doubt it—then my bad. I’m not, so I’m not going to insist that a movie is "objectively" this or that, good or bad. Honestly, arguing that way feels pretty childish to me.

Regarding that last point, I still have to call out the narrow-mindedness! Did Tolkien write his book following some rigid set of rules? Sure, literary ones, but besides that... not really! It drives me crazy that some group of people decided to invent these specific foundations that define our modern idea of fantasy. Am I supposed to, as a "true" fantasy fan, just swallow that? Like, I have to accept these templates exist and follow them? Is Harry Potter fantasy? Yes, it is, just like Star Wars and everything else. This movie wasn't marketed as a fantasy based on Dungeons & Dragons, so it doesn't have to stick to those specific tropes. You might belong to a circle that only tolerates fantasy if it hits certain checkboxes, but I get what fantasy is, and I'm not so closed-minded that I'd claim a movie is bad just because its story doesn't fit your arbitrary little criteria. It’s pure absurdity. If you paid even a shred of attention to the fact that the book this movie is based on was written by a 15-year-old kid fueled by nothing but pure enthusiasm and love, you'd realize that damn "rules" don't matter—what matters is how a kid's imagination works (clearly under a huge influence from Tolkien here).

I don't need some fancy film degree to tell the difference between a masterpiece and total garbage. That’s why movies are art—just like anything else—and self-taught creators are just as valid as the ones with formal training. Honestly, though, I think I might actually be closer to being a film scholar than you are, since you're out here claiming Star Wars is fantasy... You pretty much said it all yourself.

Austin Roberts8 said:Look, I don't need some fancy degree in film studies to tell the difference between a masterpiece and a total flop. That’s why movies are art—just like everything else. A self-taught artist is just as valid as someone who spent years in a classroom. But honestly, I think I'm closer to being a film scholar than you are, because if you're claiming Star Wars is fantasy... well, you basically said it all yourself.

Right, then why even bother going to film school if we already know some random guy off the street can be just as talented as a grad? It's a bit of a paradox, isn't it? I'm looking at this objectively—the movie is good. You're looking at it objectively—the movie is bad. So, who's actually right here? When I brought up Star Wars, I was digging into the actual core essence of what "fantasy" means—not just slapping a genre label on a box—and that's where the whole thing is built, which is just a fact! In the context of what I was trying to lay out for you, it’s pretty clear you were just having a hard time wrapping your head around it.

I see you’re still leaning heavily on insults as your primary argument, but fine.
Since you clearly haven't seen enough movies to recognize decent editing or even grasp the basic concept of art, let me try to break down why this flick is actually garbage.
Direction — the predictability here is just unreal, and I’m not just talking about the plot points, but the camera angles and all those little details too. From the opening setup about how everything used to be great—which we already knew was coming thanks to Jeremy before the movie even started—to the actual events and that subtle "sequel bait" everyone caught onto immediately. Honestly, it's obvious the guy directing this spent his whole career working on special effects instead of storytelling. Character relationships are completely half-baked from start to finish. There's zero emotion in this thing, and zero payoff.
Acting — Jeremy Irons tried his absolute best to save this mess, and you can tell he put in the work, but he just can't overcome a desperate script and even worse direction. That Dragoness woman speaks in such a monotone way, like she’s just reading lines off a teleprompter without any soul. I won't even touch that little blue kid; it's painfully obvious they just took the brat who wrote the book and gave him a paycheck to play the lead. And Malkovich? He totally lost my respect—he shows up three times just to say "death" and "punish" and other equally "surprising" crap for a movie like this.
Set design looks more like war-torn Albania than some kind of dreamworld. And don't even get me started on the logic gaps, like a horse being faster than a dragon. No need to go there.
It's glaringly obvious this movie was based on a book by some kid who basically just slapped a Star Wars vibe onto a Lord of the Rings setting. The character names are so pathetic and cliché they actually hurt to listen to.
My personal take? They couldn't have squeezed much more out of such a bottom-of-the-barrel script. If they had just stuck to the rules of Dungeons & Dragons, it might have been a solid effort, if nothing else, for the fans. But trying to invent a whole new world is just pathetic and failed miserably—not everyone can pull that off, which is exactly why people don't try it. It’s freaking hard. Not everyone is Tolkien. But hey, we live in a world where any piece of trash can be sold as gold if they market it right...

Austin Roberts8 said:I see you’re still leaning heavily on insults as your main argument, but fine.
Since you clearly haven't sat through enough movies to grasp what actually makes a film well-directed—or even understand the basic concept of art—I’ll try to break down why this flick is just plain bad.
Direction—the predictability here is honestly staggering, and I don't just mean the plot points, but the camera angles and all those little details too. From that opening setup about how everything used to be great—which, let's be real, Jeremy was already droning on about before the movie even kicked off—to the actual events and those blatant teases for a sequel that everyone caught within the first five minutes. Honestly, it’s painfully obvious the guy behind the camera spent way too much time working on special effects instead of storytelling. Character dynamics are totally half-baked from start to finish. There’s zero emotional weight, and there's absolutely no moral to the story.
Acting—Jeremy Irons is basically carrying the whole thing on his back because you can tell he's trying, but he just can't overcome a desperate script and even worse direction. That Dragoness woman talks in such a monotone way, with zero vocal range, it’s like she’s just reading lines off a teleprompter. And don't even get me started on that little blue kid; it's way too obvious that the kid who wrote the book and got paid for the adaptation should have been playing the lead. Malkovich really lost all respect in my eyes—he shows up three times just to bark "death" and "punish" and other equally "surprising" garbage for a movie like this.
The production design looks more like war-torn Albania than some kind of dreamworld. And the logic gaps—like a horse being faster than a dragon—don't even need a mention.
It’s glaringly obvious this movie was based on a book by some naive kid who just poorly transplanted Star Wars into a Lord of the Rings setting. The character names are so pathetic and cliché they actually hurt.
My personal take? You couldn't have squeezed much more out of such a hopeless script. If they had just stuck to the rules of Dungeons & Dragons, it might have been a decent enough production, if nothing else, for the fans. But trying to invent an entirely new world when you aren't up to the task is just pathetic and fails miserably—not everyone can pull that off, and that's exactly why. It’s insanely hard. Not everyone is Tolkien. But hey, we live in a world where any piece of trash can be sold as gold if you market it right...

Nobody is insulting you. If that's how you're choosing to take it, my bad. I'm just commenting on your statements in my own way. Feel free to feel insulted if it makes you happy (clearly, you prefer viewing my comments as attacks, otherwise you wouldn't react this way). Oh, and by the way, according to your little "review," you've somehow proven you're the true expert on the concept of art, unlike me, right? 😬 So, was what you wrote actually objective or subjective? (I mean, putting "predictability" under "direction," when the plot should really be sticking to the book... it's a bit fuzzy), oh great master of cinema?

In any case, they know way more than you do. Using the phrase ''my personal impression'' actually describes an objective experience of the movie. It’s well-written. And honestly, if you're out here questioning the whole concept of art, who even gives you the right to decide who's educated enough to comment on it?

Austin Roberts8 said:Either way, they know more about this than you do. When someone uses the phrase ''my personal impression,'' they're talking about an objective experience of the film. It's well-written. And honestly, if you start questioning the whole concept of art, who even counts as being "educated" enough to comment on it?

Well, clearly *you* are, since you're so sure of yourself, right?! 😬

So, you're some massive film expert compared to me?
Lucky you, though—at least you aren't using your actual first and last name instead of a handle. Imagine what people would think! 😬

Honestly, I couldn't care less what people on this forum think about me—especially if they actually take internet boards seriously—but you clearly don't, since you're just out here living your life. I’m just laying out my own takes and some other people's arguments that I happen to agree with. From what I can see, you don't even have actual points to make; you're just spitting venom and throwing insults at me. If that's really all you've got, then maybe just walk away from the topic, because this whole thing is honestly unnecessary.

Austin Roberts8 said:Honestly, I couldn't care less what people on this forum think about me—especially if someone is actually taking internet forums seriously—but you clearly don't mind since you're just out here living your life. I'm just laying out my own opinion along with arguments from others that I happen to agree with. From where I'm sitting, it looks like you don't even have actual arguments; you're just spitting venom and throwing insults at me. If that's really all you've got, then maybe just walk away from this thread, because honestly, there's no point in continuing this.

Look, I *do* have arguments and I've laid them out—it just seems like you're choosing to ignore them. You made your points, sure, but in a lot of places, they just didn't land. But hey, that's just my two cents. If I went a little too hard there (and let's be real, I probably did with that last part), sorry! To each their own, right? Cheers!

There’s really no need to get all defensive. I’m immune to insults—honestly, they don't phase me at all. But you totally dodged my "review." Your only real take is that I’m not some authority? Fine then—if you're so qualified, why don't you actually write something? Don't be lazy, for crying out loud.

Alright, if you really want my take... the movie is decent enough, strictly within the realm of Fantasy. It’s definitely not some life-changing masterpiece, but considering the source material it was based on, it turned out pretty satisfying—especially for the crowd that lives and breathes this genre. The directing is solid, though I will say the pacing gets a bit frantic in the second half—it picks up speed so fast it almost trips over itself—but honestly, it’s not a dealbreaker if you're just looking to enjoy the ride, even if it feels a little obvious. The plot is pretty naive, and the whole attempt at reaching a certain level of quality mostly shines through the special effects, which are absolutely top-tier. As for the cast, they're hit or miss. Malkovich doesn't quite land his mark here. Irons is actually very good, but you can tell he didn't go full throttle with his performance—though, maybe that’s a blessing in disguise? If he had gone overboard with the dramatic expressions, the whole thing might have felt way too pretentious. At its core, the movie is relatively "shallow"—kind of like a summer beach read—that could be a blast for some and a total drag for others, but all things considered, it’s a solid production with some genuinely great moments.

@Austin Roberts8, I’m right there with you—the movie was pretty rough, and honestly, everything you laid out hits the mark, but I have to wonder... what does the rulebook for Dungeons & Dragons actually have to do with the fantasy genre as a whole?

I’ll say it: I don’t care if a movie doesn't stick strictly to the rules of Dungeons & Dragons, because at the end of the day, that doesn't stop it from being a damn good fantasy flick.

What a mistake I made $10 buying that movie ticket...
In my opinion, this flick borrowed way more from Star Wars than it did from Lord of the Rings.
Sure, it swiped the set design, the masks, the orcs—all those "surface-level" things from Lord of the Rings...
But look at how much it lifted from Star Wars...
You've got the kid living with an uncle who gets killed, and this guy failing to show up to the battlefield on time... then while Brom (Obi-Wan Kenobi) explains the bond with a dragon—it’s basically him talking about the Force... then there's that whole bit about killing an officer to promote the next one... plus the princess (or whatever she is) and the rebels... the rogue rider (Darth Vader), and so on.
All that's missing is for the character to find out in the sequel that that evil king is actually his father...

At any rate, IMHO, it's a messy blend of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Empire Strikes Back, and whatever else.

Austin Roberts8 said:I'm sorry, but that's just how it is.

YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU!

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