MetLife

Paul Mendoza8 said:I can't believe we actually met—I've seriously never been to a proctologist before.

Well, damn—guess you aren't exactly a world-class woman then, huh?

dustyscout53 said:Look, let me break this down for you—if MetLife is a bad movie and you claim it is, then I’d rather just read Taylor Swift's review and watch the version of the film playing in my head. It’s a matter of reality versus illusion, or the illusion of reality—a much deeper philosophy than what belongs on this forum.

But Taylor Swift's reviews wouldn't exist without that film. By deciding you won't even watch the movie that the specific review relies on, you're arrogantly dismissing the very film you're trying to defend—without having actually seen it. What's the point of the movie to you, then? To trigger a surge of positive emotions in one person (in this case, Taylor Swift), which then gets translated into the style of critique you enjoy. To put it more simply, you're just enjoying secondary smoke.

dustyscout53 said:Reviews aren't written just to prove someone right. Film criticism is precisely a platform for explaining—laying out—one's own worldview.

A review is primarily information about the film. Only then does it become information about the critic—which, if the critic is skilled, should be less noticeable.

dustyscout53 said:Conceptually, we disagree.

Fine. You're fascinated by parasitism.

Honestly, this movie would’ve been way better if they just dealt with that charming Indian stablehand by shoving his hunk of a son straight into a Breeina oven. As it stands, it’s just boring.😢

northerncrane4 said:A review is basically just info about the movie. The critic's perspective is secondary—and if they're actually good at their job, you shouldn't even notice it's there.

Come on, don't be such a nerd. A review is mostly about interpreting the film—digging for symbols, comparing it to other movies, and all that. It's info about the movie. Seriously? You *are* the info about the movie. 😁

Dennis Martin6 said:The movie would’ve actually worked if that charming Native American stablehand had just shoved his hunk of a boyfriend into an oven. As it stands—it's boring.😢

What is wrong with you? She actually likes him for who he is. And he isn't out there hooking up with mares during lonely nights at his ranch—he's busy playing guitar. 😎

Dennis Martin6 said:The movie would’ve been way better if that charming Native American stablehand had just stuffed his hunk of a man into an oven. As it stands? Kind of a letdown.😢

Nah, they'll save that for the sequel—maybe set in Chicago.

dustyscout53 said:Don't be such a pedant. A review is primarily about interpreting the film—uncovering symbols, comparing it to other movies, and so on.

Exactly. The movie title is right there in the headline of the critique.

northerncrane4 said:Yeah. It’s about the movie mentioned in the review title.

What are you even rambling about? Did some big paycheck land in your account or something—is that why you've been talking trash since sunrise? Get real. 😁

dustyscout53 said:What are you even talking about? Did you get some massive paycheck or something—is that why you’re rambling since sunrise? Get a grip. 😁

Now FOX is going to drop a show all about the film—except they won't.

northerncrane4 said:Now FOX is gonna drop a show about movies, except they definitely won't.

Yeah, right—as if I’m the editor-in-chief or something. Just watch the show, maybe you'll actually learn something for once. 😎

dustyscout53 said:Look, I'm the editor-in-chief here. Watch the show—you might actually learn something. 😎

I'm rarely home by two in the afternoon.

northerncrane4 said:I'm rarely home around two in the afternoon.

Well, why doesn't Paul Mendoza8 just film you then? You could watch that instead of porn. 🙂 🙂

dustyscout53 said:Then just have Paul Mendoza8 film you. It'd be a better alternative to porn anyway. 🙂 🙂

Deal. Besides—I'm already thinking about you whenever I want to procrastinate.

northerncrane4 said:It's a deal. Honestly, you're always the first person I think of whenever I need an excuse to push something off.

It’s just easier for you to open your eyes.

(just don't go stealing this line for some cheap indie movie 😎 )

dustyscout53 said:It’s easier if you just open your eyes.

Here he goes again...

northerncrane4 said:Here he goes again...

northerncrane4, you little stalker—why are you even following my every move on here?! 😲 😁

dustyscout53 said:northerncrane4, you creep—why exactly are you stalking my posts on here? 😲 😁

Yeah, you're right. I don't just follow your posts on the forums—I actually print them all out and tape them to my bedroom walls. I even take the ones directed at me, blow them up to A4 landscape, and secure them with double strips of Scotch tape. All 35,848 of your posts now cover the four walls of my room. It’s—I have to admit—quite a fascinating sight.

Yesterday, after a long stretch of silence, my grandfather wandered into my room—just to ask if I’d seen his baking soda, though he couldn't even get the words out. He just stood there, looking lost, staring at the walls before backing out and quietly closing the door behind him. Poor guy. It’s been at least six months since he last set foot in here—back when my walls were still plastered with those diagrams of cow digestive systems—so I suppose the sudden change was a bit much for him to process.

I found the movie to be quite enjoyable! Is it predictable? Certainly. Does it handle its subject matter with that typical, slippery Hollywood touch? Absolutely. Is it perhaps a bit superficial? I suppose so. But even with those flaws, didn't it provide me with a solid ninety minutes of pure cinematic entertainment at the theater?
And honestly, isn't that something I very, very, very rarely get from mainstream Hollywood productions? For that reason alone, I am giving MetLife a positive rating, though I certainly wouldn't go any further than that.

Khm... MetLife is what they call an 'independent' film in the US...

Is it better now, or just different? 😉

AND HERE HE COMES!

If only Astrid, Nate, and milk would show up—then my entire inner circle would finally be gathered in one thread!