Dealing with an episiotomy: What to expect?

jadesailor14 said:I think you've wandered quite far off the mark with some of the nonsense you've posted here.

To me, your post sounds like nothing more than an intolerant, shapeless mess.

jadesailor14 said:I’m choosing to stay on the sidelines here. I really don't have the energy to debate someone who clearly hasn't done the homework, nor do you actually have any expertise in this field. Besides, you aren't a mother, and you never will be.

Fine, just go ahead and call me an idiot. It’s a classic move when you can't actually dismantle my points with anything resembling logic. If you don't have a counterargument, why bother? I know this isn't my specific field of expertise, but that doesn't mean my reasoning is flawed—it's like saying a male surgeon couldn't understand how a heart works just because he hasn't had one opened himself. If you've got nothing substantive to add, feel free to just sit this one out.

jadesailor14 said:Honestly, this is one of those massive, glaring idiocies.
Pain is pretty much a universal constant—it hits everyone the same way. But I suppose some people just have a higher baseline for tolerance than others. It’s a matter of upbringing, culture, or maybe just a bit of common sense. Some folks actually possess enough restraint to keep from screaming at everyone else, and they don't go around playing the martyr just because they had a rough patch in their past.

Pain is subjective. It’s one of those things where everyone seems to have their own internal thermostat for discomfort. Some people can shrug off a broken bone like it was nothing, while others might be sidelined by a headache. We all just have different thresholds.
I fail to see how culture has anything to do with physical pain. If someone is hurting, they should seek help. Period. Are you actually suggesting that people ought to just suffer in silence—suppressing their own agony just so they don't become an inconvenience to everyone else around them?

jadesailor14 said:You're going for it! Let's go!
That’s some heavy-duty data right there. Quite a bit to wrap one's head around.
Even the most out-of-touch old lady in the middle of nowhere knows that.

What was the author actually getting at there? Are we just throwing around profanity for no reason, just to try and look tougher than we actually are?

jadesailor14 said:I’m having a bit of trouble following your train of thought here. I don't quite grasp the logic you're using.
I suppose I should have mentioned this earlier, though I tend to dwell on things longer than necessary. Regarding the epi... well, it’s a bit of a mess, isn't it? I was sitting in my study yesterday, staring at a stack of papers, thinking about how much easier life would be if we just had some clear direction for once. It reminds me of that old lecture I attended back in college—nothing fancy, just a quiet afternoon in a dusty hall—where they talked about the unpredictability of systems. We often think we can map everything out, but then reality hits. It's like trying to predict the weather in Chicago; you think you're prepared, and then the wind shifts and ruins your entire afternoon. Anyway, I digress. My point is, we need to look closer at the data before we jump to any sweeping conclusions. Let's be methodical about this. 👎 But man, it’s absolutely top-tier. 👍
A minor intervention? Honestly, I wouldn't bother. It feels like a lot of fuss for very little payoff. But if you're looking at the larger scale—the bigger move—now that’s where the real value lies. It's just better that way. 😕

On the contrary, you haven't just taken my posts the wrong way—you’ve completely missed the point entirely. It seems like you’ve already built up these rigid, preconceived notions about everything, so actual facts don't really seem to interest you. Go ahead, tell me that my points about patient dignity and basic rights are invalid, just because you think I'm an idiot or because you're feeling frustrated.

My logic is pretty straightforward: I look for what works best, dive into the statistics, and listen to people’s actual experiences to see if there's anything worth learning. You see cases where C-sections go incredibly smoothly, and then you have vaginal births that turn into absolute nightmares. Personally, I’m definitely against routine episiotomies. To me, they just seem harmful and completely unnecessary. routine application. In my view, if anyone should be making that call, it’s the patient. It feels wrong for a doctor to decide whether to cut or not if they've been preemptively restricted from doing so. I'm honestly not convinced an episiotomy ever actually helps unless we're talking about a life-or-death emergency where birth needs to be accelerated immediately. If it isn't an emergency, I think an episiotomy is just unnecessary mutilation. It would be much better to prepare with massage, using an Epi-No device, supporting the perineum combined with gentle pushing—which requires actual cooperation from the medical staff—and a slower delivery process. I don't think it's right to hook up an IV drip, slice things open, and rush through it just because it's more convenient for the hospital staff. Patients aren't in the hospital for the doctors; doctors are there for the patients.

I am certain there isn't a single "best" solution for everyone, precisely because people vary so much from one person to the next. We aren't just talking about pain thresholds, either; you have to consider fetal positioning, age, tissue elasticity, personal preferences, and a whole host of other factors.

My stance is that every laboring woman deserves, first and foremost, dignified treatment, unbiased information, and a choice in their birthing method. She should be the master of her own body, and she absolutely has the right to support from society both before and after pregnancy (through maternity leave, disability, and so on).

Justin Fox said:My logic is simple: I look for what works best, study the stats, and listen to people's experiences to learn something. There are C-sections that go incredibly smoothly, just as there are vaginal births that turn out terribly. Regarding routine episiotomies, I’m definitely against them; I see them as harmful and unnecessary when used routinely in practice. In my view, if an episiotomy is going to happen, it should be the patient's call. It feels wrong for a doctor to decide whether to cut or not if they are being prevented from doing so. I’m not convinced an episiotomy ever helps unless it’s a life-or-death situation where delivery needs to be rushed. If it isn't an emergency, I think an episiotomy is just butchery. It would be better to prepare with massage, an epi-no device, perineal support combined with slow pushing (which requires cooperation from the medical staff), and a more gradual crowning. It’s wrong to force an IV, cut the perineum, and rush everything just because it’s more convenient for the hospital staff. Patients aren't in the hospital for the doctors; doctors are there for the patients.

I am certain there is no single "best" solution for everyone, precisely because every person is different. It isn't just about pain thresholds—it involves fetal positioning, age, tissue elasticity, personal preferences, and much more.

My opinion is that every mother deserves, first and foremost, dignified treatment, unbiased information, and the choice of birthing methods. She should be the master of her own body and have access to support from society before and after pregnancy (like maternity leave, etc.).

You’ve got it all wrong! A patient can't be the one deciding how a procedure unfolds; that responsibility lies solely and exclusively with the physician.
For heaven's sake, a woman can't even see her own perineum while she's in labor!!! The midwife and the doctor are the ones seeing it!
There are absolutely situations where no epi was done and things ended in a disaster! And a really nasty one at that!

Don't get me wrong, I'm also against routine episiotomies, but if one becomes necessary, I won't be the one making the "yes" or "no" call.

As for C-sections, of course many of them go smoothly!!! 🙂 Even heart surgeries and transplants go smoothly!
But that is a major surgical procedure, and it is totally idiotic to choose it over a vaginal birth if it isn't medically required!
That's like choosing a liver transplant because you can't live without alcohol and greasy food, hoping your liver will always stay fresh and new.😵

I don't know why episiotomies are such a focal point for you or what your issue is, but your mindset is 👎

Frank Alvarez8 said:Don't get me wrong, I'm against routine episiotomies too, but if one becomes absolutely necessary, I won't be the one making the final call on whether it happens or not.

So, we both agree that routine episiotomies should be out of the question.

Where we diverge is the issue of patient rights. In my view, a patient should authorize their doctor regarding specific procedures before any surgery takes place.

The real headache with an episiotomy is the lack of consensus. You'll have one doctor insisting it's vital while another argues it's actually harmful in certain scenarios. It leaves you wondering who to trust—is it something you want, or not? It’s fundamentally wrong for a woman's decision to hinge entirely on which doctor happens to be on shift. If the medical experts aren't 100% certain about the best course of action, then the patient's wishes ought to take precedence. We have older studies suggesting they're beneficial, yet more recent research indicates they're largely detrimental.

If a woman makes it clear before the procedure that she doesn't want an episiotomy, that choice should be respected. Of course, if a doctor determines during labor that it’s an emergency, they can seek permission from her or, if she's unable to communicate, from her husband afterward.

Susan Martin24 said:Justin Fox, the law is quite clear: maternity leave kicks in four weeks before the expected due date.
There’s no room for sentimentality here. No employer is going to gift you eight months of psychological preparation and downtime for motherhood.

I’m just now getting through your post. I suppose if it's written in the law, you have a right to it. Regardless, I know from experience that in the real world, women often go on medical leave much earlier. It’s highly individual—a woman says she’s pregnant and feeling unwell, and a doctor will generally write her a note. Personally, I’m fine with that. It’s a unique life event that happens once or twice for most people. From a social standpoint, it makes sense too. Just because the law defines things strictly doesn't mean I have to believe the law is perfect. Laws are frequently flawed and subject to change; if this one is overly rigid, then I’m all for changing it. Changing it so that pregnant women have more rights.

Following your logic, you could argue: he went skiing, broke his leg—well, that's his own fault, so he should pay for his own treatment and receive zero disability benefits, because if he hadn't picked such a risky sport, he wouldn't have been injured. If we follow that path, we might as well scrap insurance altogether and move to a pure cash-and-carry system where nobody cares about anyone else. Look, I'm a proponent of the market and capitalism, but not a totally wild, unchecked version where absolutely everything is up for sale—including human life and health.

Susan Martin24 said:Work is a necessity and an obligation.

I really don't care for that view. Work is something people do to earn a living. For the vast majority, it is a necessity—a fundamental need to put food on the table. As for being an "obligation," no one is forced; if someone doesn't want to work, they don't have to, just as you said. I see why payments would be made: because she is pregnant, to support the birth of a child. The same applies to postpartum support and healthcare coverage. Not everything is driven by the market; there is also a social element—solidarity, helping those who are vulnerable.

Susan Martin24 said:Public daycare, which is already drained by various thefts and a shadow economy that fails to fill the federal treasury, simply can't afford it here.

I would much rather see theft and embezzlement reduced than see aid to those in need cut. Why does the American system have to be so broken? Why is it acceptable for us to say, "There's too much corruption, so we can't help the poor"? Let's stop the theft first, and then let the funds be used for their intended purposes. This is a perversion: allowing massive amounts of money to be stolen or embezzled while the vulnerable suffer.👎

Justin Fox, even though I told you I was done replying to your posts—and honestly, I'm pretty sure you only write them because you love the reaction they get

Pregnancy and childbirth are NATURAL PHYSIOLOGICAL PROCESSES (assuming everything is healthy, obviously), and I see absolutely NO REASON TO TREAT THEM LIKE A MEDICAL CONDITION! Thinking that way is just straight-up twisted! 😈

As for whether a woman chooses to work or stay home, or if she wants to have kids at all... that is HER business, her husband's business, and her family's business. Even though our country claims to be a social safety net, let's be real, it isn't... nobody actually gives a damn about helping out.
It’s the same story everywhere else: you might get some government assistance for a little while, but after that? You're on your own! If someone can afford a kid, great. If not, then don't!
Amen! :ziba :

Don't expect to hear another single word from me on this topic. 🙂

Well, Susan Martin24 is back. My absolute favorite, my dear 😘
It’s a real blessing that Susan Martin24 writes for the greater good of the community rather than just for her own amusement.

If only she could grasp the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We don't all have to think alike; if we did, we’d be an anthill instead of a society. Just because we disagree doesn't mean the best way to settle things is to grab a bison femur and see who survives the brawl. 😉

Look, I can give you my two cents based on what went down for me. I had a C-section and honestly? Didn't feel a thing. Even the stitches—I’ve had two kids now—didn't really bother me personally. I didn't feel like I needed anyone close by in the room during labor, though obviously, I totally get it if someone else wants their partner or family there to support them.
They didn't give me an enema, they did shave me, and they hooked me up to the CTG monitor, but none of that was a huge deal. The only thing I actually had a bone to pick with was that they wouldn't let me drink anything... I was absolutely parched!

Justin Fox said:Oh look, Susan Martin24 is back—my absolute favorite, my dearest 😘
How wonderful that Susan Martin24 writes for the greater good of society rather than mere personal amusement.

If only she could grasp that everyone is entitled to an opinion. Must we all think identically? If so, we’d be ants, not humans. Does thinking differently mean we should all just grab a bison femur and swing until only one survivor remains? 😉

I assume you aren't planning on becoming a father anytime soon, or rather, there isn't a child on the way. This is merely a debate for its own sake, is it not? We are simply exchanging views, right?

I can only hope that one day, when a child actually *is* on the way, you won't attempt to impose your opinions on the mother of your offspring. Given that her health is at stake, shouldn't you allow her to make her own decisions? 🙂 😉

By all means, present the options along with the pros and cons, back them up with evidence, but leave the final verdict to her.

I would say more if this were your body and your health being discussed so politely, but I highly doubt men will be giving birth anytime soon—and I certainly doubt a doctor will perform surgery without medical necessity.
I sincerely hope you don't try to perform the procedure yourself at home in the name of "protecting" the mother and your future lineage. 😉

Kate Garcia2, of course we’re just exchanging ideas here. I’m writing about this because I want to raise awareness about the issue. My stance has always been that everyone has to make their own call—based on solid, unbiased information. I would never dream of imposing a decision on someone else, especially not someone dear to me. You present the facts, you offer whatever help is needed, but the final choice belongs to the mother. It’s her body, her health, and her life.

As for doctors, they’ll do whatever you ask; it really just comes down to what you’re willing to pay. In some places, you can even opt for an elective C-section—you simply state your preference and arrange it. Medically speaking, there isn't definitive proof that one way is inherently better than the other. When I look at the statistics, they often feel heavily biased, clearly written to support the author's specific agenda.

There is a very insightful article regarding episiotomies available here:

I am firmly convinced that routine episiotomies are a mistake, except in extreme emergencies where a birth needs to be accelerated immediately. A routine incision is nothing more than an unnecessary procedure, carrying all the usual surgical risks and trauma.

In the US, you have options too, provided you coordinate with your medical team: you can request a water birth, ask to avoid incisions, opt for a C-section, or request a private room—all of course, for a price. Some hospitals aren't equipped for everything, but if you put in the effort to find the right facility with the right staff, you can get almost anything you want.

That works fine if things are calm. But if it’s an emergency and you’re stuck with whoever is on call, you might try to appeal to them quickly, waving cash around or even mentioning a lawyer. If they remain uncooperative or stubborn, though, they’ll simply do exactly what they please.

That’s the part that truly haunts me: imagine a woman who means everything to you screaming in agony, while some grumpy nurse yells at her to shut up, or a doctor refuses pain medication and tells the nurse to cut her anyway, despite her protests. What is a husband supposed to do then? Just sit there and weep? 😢 Should he pull out a gun? 🙂 To me, the scene feels akin to passively watching someone assault your wife. And if you walk away, it’s as if you’re letting it happen behind closed doors while you stand by doing nothing.

When I think about it that way, it seems much better to go somewhere where pregnant women are actually respected. On certain forums, they mention that places like Feldbach in Austria are incredibly humane and allow for real negotiation. I’ve heard great things about experiences in Germany, too. Kindness, humanity, and actual freedom of choice. Even if the end result is the same, why go through the unnecessary suffering? How much is it worth to be treated like a human being—an intelligent, emotional person—rather than just a piece of meat?

Just look at the posts from Susan Martin24, who seems to be some kind of doctor—for her, there is only one "correct" path, dictated solely by the letter of the law and her own interpretation of it. She usually makes good points, but occasionally, unfortunately, she ignores the patient's humanity and overlooks the reality that doctors can sometimes be lazy or simply unwilling to go the extra mile.

Read the post about Feldbach over at
The woman there describes beautifully what she disliked about the system here and why she’ll head to that location next time. To me, that sounds more than reasonable. I’m not an advocate for C-sections; I’m an advocate for whatever is best for the woman. If some want a C-section, let them. If others want a natural birth, let them have that too.
👍 Patient rights and dignity 👍
👎 Incompetence and the sheer arrogance of medical staff 👎

Yeah, alright, so I’m "some kind of" doctor... but let's be real, Justin Fox, you are an incurable paranoid, potentially a danger to yourself and everyone else around you. Honestly, my heart just breaks for whichever poor woman ends up having a kid with you. I truly feel for her. 😱

And as for this wild idea of yours about heading over to Switzerland for some custom surgical incision just because a patient thinks they know better than medical professionals...
man, get a grip 😵 😵 😵

Before it's too late... 😈

Justin Fox said:If only she’d realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We aren't all supposed to think the exact same way—if we were, we'd be ants, not people. Just because we disagree doesn't mean the best approach is for everyone to grab a bison femur and swing until whoever's left standing wins.😉

This reminds me of how some folks in America view science. It’s democracy everywhere, apparently—even when it comes to the theory of relativity or evolution. Just because something is an established theory doesn't stop people from thinking they have an equal vote in whether it's true...

But hey, whatever works... as long as you sign the waiver saying it was your idea. At least then you can't sue the doctor for ignoring standard medical practice.

Justin Fox said:I maintain that everyone must decide for themselves—making choices based on sound, unbiased information. I would never impose a decision on someone else, especially not someone dear to me. I’d present the facts and offer any help needed, but the ultimate call rests with the expectant mother—it is her body, her health, and her life at stake.

As for doctors, they will do whatever is requested—the question is simply the cost. In some countries, you can opt for an elective C-section; you simply state your preference and arrange for the procedure. Medically speaking, there isn't definitive proof that one way is inherently better than the other—though when I look at statistics, they often seem skewed just to support the author's specific agenda.

There is a very informative article regarding episiotomies available at:
http://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-releases/tekstovi.php?Teks...t2ID=&Show=759

The keyword here is... information. However, there is a vast difference between seeking unbiased data and merely hunting for evidence to support a preconceived notion about the dangers of episiotomy. You weren't in the birthing classes—we were. Decisions are made in split seconds—there is no time to debate whether a procedure is necessary, much less over a few stitches. If you spend those precious moments threatening a doctor with a lawyer, you risk wasting critical minutes, and the consequences could be far worse for a young mother than an episiotomy ever would be.

You seem aware of the dangers of cherry-picking data... which you mention in your next paragraph... as well as the idea that doctors will perform certain things if the price is right. Well, I wouldn't deal with someone like that—a doctor who abandons professional standards and common sense for money is not someone I would ever trust. It's true that money drives many senseless surgeries—from massive breast augmentations to hymenoplasty—but that doesn't make them wise decisions.

And as for this "dream clinic"... it smells a bit too much like the Republican Party to me.

BTW... I am glad I wasn't preoccupied with these matters during my own labor... I was busy taking (and passing) exams the week before and three weeks after giving birth. I viewed pregnancy as a natural state and childbirth as a natural process... and I trusted my doctors to ensure everything turned out okay.

Gerald Kern77 As requested:
You weren't there in the shop—but we were.

How can you possibly know whether I was there or not? And who exactly are you to judge? You had one single experience, and now you think you’re some kind of ultimate authority on everything.

Gerald Kern77 said:Decisions happen in an instant. You don't exactly have the luxury of sitting someone down to debate whether they need a procedure or not—especially when we're talking about just a few stitches. It’s one of those moments where you just act.

I have to disagree. You can easily have Doctor A coming to one conclusion while Doctor B lands on something else entirely. When that happens, the patient’s own wishes should carry the weight. Reality isn't some binary choice between black and white; most of the time, the truth is buried somewhere in the gray areas.

Gerald Kern77 Asks:
If you go running to a lawyer before you even talk to your doctor, you're basically throwing precious time down the drain. Every minute counts in these situations. And honestly, for a young mother, the fallout can be so much more intense than just dealing with an episiotomy. It’s about the long-term impact, too.

Unless we’re talking about a true medical emergency—which, let's be honest, is rarely the case—there really is no need to rush. I’ve always felt that it's much better to let a woman labor at her own natural pace. If you try to force things to speed up, you’re just asking for trouble. In my experience, pushing for speed is exactly how unnecessary injuries happen. Slow and steady wins the race, especially in something this intense.

Gerald Kern77 said:I’m fully aware of how dangerous it is to cherry-pick facts. It’s a slippery slope. You start with one half-truth, and before you know it, you’ve built an entire reality that doesn't actually exist. I remember reading a study back in college—it was a long, tedious thing about cognitive bias—and it really drove home how easy it is to ignore anything that contradicts what we already believe. We all do it, whether we like to admit it or not. It's just human nature to look for confirmation rather than the truth.

I agree. At the end of the day, it’s only human for everyone to make their own calls based on what they feel is right. If someone is giving professional advice, sure, they ought to be objective. But you and I? We aren't professional consultants. We're just people trading thoughts on the internet.

Gerald Kern77 said:Someone who would toss their professional ethics out the window just for a bit of money... that’s not a doctor I’d ever trust with my life.

Can you not see that professional standards are often left completely undefined? Medicine isn't God; more often than not, it’s just someone fumbling around in the dark. Standard protocols vary wildly from one country to the next—doesn't that prove, at least occasionally, that they contradict themselves?
Would you ever actually trust someone who makes decisions just because it’s convenient for them? Honestly, I find myself wondering about that more often than I should. It’s one thing to make a mistake—we all do, even me when I tried to fix my own plumbing last summer (let's just say I won't be winning any awards there)—but choosing the easy path over the right one? That’s a different breed entirely. It erodes everything. Once you realize someone is prioritizing their own comfort over the actual mission, the trust is pretty much gone. There's no coming back from that.

Gerald Kern77 said:It’s true—money can buy just about any kind of nonsense you can dream up. People spend fortunes on everything from massive cosmetic surgeries to those desperate attempts at "restoring innocence." But just because someone has the cash doesn't mean they're making a smart move. Money doesn't equal common sense.

I agree that most people aren't looking for that, but we’re talking about the desires of free individuals here. If someone truly wants larger breasts and is fully prepared to foot the bill and undergo the surgery, who exactly has the right to tell them they can't buy it?

Gerald Kern77 Asks:
As for that "Dream Clinic" business... it’s giving me major Republican Party vibes.

It sounds pretty good on the surface. If the Republican Party actually wants to get somewhere, they’d probably want to hear some specifics about what exactly isn't working over there. At least this way, someone is out there making a promise like, "We’re going to look out for you." To me, that feels a lot more inviting than hearing, "We’re going to starve you out, treat you poorly, and just do whatever the hell we feel like doing."

Gerald Kern77 said:I was sitting for my board exams once a week before giving birth, and then had to go right back at it three weeks after. I passed, by the way.

I assume you had your kids quite young. You have to realize that some women wait until they’re 30, 35, or even 40 to start a family, and for them, it isn't exactly the same experience as it is for a twenty-year-old. For those women, we’re talking about genuine health risks and a massive life event. Some people simply don't give a damn about the exams or tests; maybe they passed them fifteen years ago and now they just want to have a baby and come out of it in one piece. Whether the recovery takes three days or fifteen might be a minor detail to them—what actually matters is being able to function normally in a month, being able to walk and sit without being in constant pain. 😢

Gerald Kern77 said:I really put my faith in the doctors. I truly believed they had everything under control.

There’s a certain kind of bliss in ignorance. At least when everything turns out alright in the end.🙂

Susan Martin24 said:Sure, I’m "some kind of" doctor... but you, Justin Fox, are an incurable paranoid—potentially dangerous to yourself and everyone around you. Honestly, I just feel for the poor woman who ends up having your kids. My heart goes out to her.

It seems Susan Martin24 has developed this habit where she just can't stand anyone disagreeing with her. The moment someone offers a different perspective, she snaps and starts throwing insults around. It’s a rather poor reflection on her professionalism, especially regarding how she carries herself and her supposed level of decorum. I suppose everyone is respected as long as there are fewer than two doctors in the room—otherwise, the math of being "the best" gets a bit fuzzy, doesn't it? I can't recall ever seeing her actually admit to being wrong. I won't descend to her level by trading insults directly, but honestly, I feel for her patients if this is how she treats people in private. She promised she wouldn't weigh in on this topic anymore, didn't she? If you don't have anything constructive to add, it's probably best to just stay quiet.

Susan Martin24 said:As for your little theory about heading back home to Feldbach and letting patients dictate their own surgical incisions because they supposedly know best... honestly, man, pull yourself together.

Right, because clearly, patients are just mindless cattle. Brilliant insight, Doctor!
I’ve got an idea: let's add a label next to the physician's name for those who think patients are nothing more than livestock. We could split insurance into two tiers—human and cattle—with entirely separate funding pools. That way, everyone can choose whichever plan suits them, and doctors could be paid strictly based on which pool they draw from and how well they perform.

Fine... you aren't looking for input from women who have actually given birth—meaning they carry at least one more experience than you do—nor are you interested in the perspectives of female physicians, who are generally quite willing to share both their expertise and their personal stories. You simply want us all to validate your paranoia and your "instant expertise" gleaned from online forums. My apologies; clearly, we aren't your target audience... and I have no desire for a confrontation.🙂

I attempted to explain that even though I was young, I wasn't ignorant—even back before the internet era, books existed, and I read whatever piqued my interest. Instead of spending months obsessively worrying about what *might* go wrong—or why certain things are done—I focused on my university studies. During labor, I was in peak physical and mental condition. My only consultation was with the anesthesiologist regarding an epidural; I ultimately declined once I learned his wife—a physician herself—had delivered naturally without any anesthesia.

In the delivery room, I was, as I mentioned, quite well-connected... do you honestly believe someone would perform an unnecessary episiotomy on the daughter of a senior colleague?😕 That move, which you seem to view as butcher-like, actually saved me from tearing, as the labor—which was entirely natural—was progressing incredibly fast. Thanks to that, I ended up with a clean incision that healed quickly and never caused issues. There simply wasn't time for them to negotiate with me or my husband in that moment.

But, as I said, that doesn't matter to you. Just as you selectively cherry-picked data online to support your thesis, you expect us to indulge you—and you react poorly when someone suggests you might be wrong or that online forums aren't always reliable sources of information. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you if you were holding a chicken bone—I'm just not that type of person.

In any case, I hope the delivery goes smoothly...

Look, Gerald Kern77, don't take it personally. I value experience, truly, but I just can't stand that gatekeeping mentality—that whole "if you haven't given birth, you can't understand" vibe. Or the "if you aren't a doctor, your opinion doesn't count" attitude.

You’ve shared an interesting post because of your personal experience, but honestly, I’m not really interested in whether you're a saint who handles pain perfectly, if you passed all your exams on time, or what your husband is like—I really couldn't care less about the domestic details.

In my view, using an episiotomy might make sense as a tool to speed things up in specific emergencies—say, if a baby is struggling for air mid-delivery and an express exit becomes necessary to prevent distress.

My take is that those who end up tearing will tear regardless, and perhaps they'll actually fare better without the incision; without an episiotomy, there might be less tearing and a smoother recovery. Of course, we can't say with absolute certainty if my theory holds water. If we compare two women, one who had an incision and one who didn't, there are so many variables people overlook: tissue quality, the speed of labor, age, preterm delivery, pelvic floor exercises, or how the perineum was supported during birth. My opinion is just a mix of what I've read in studies and what feels logically sound to me. I’m happy to admit I could be completely wrong, and I’d love to see that same level of openness from those who argue for the necessity of episiotomies. If only we could discuss this online without everyone getting their feelings hurt. 😢

I appreciate the concern, but there's no baby on the way here. I'm just gathering information and having a discussion—thankfully.

Here’s a link featuring stories from women who went through an episiotomy:
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/tips/165.html

Reading through them, you see a handful of people who had smooth recoveries, but honestly, most are pretty unhappy about how it went down. A lot of them felt forced into the procedure against their wishes. Even long after the initial healing, they're still dealing with discomfort when sitting, walking, standing, or even during intimacy. It's a lot more complicated than people realize.

It seems like the healthcare system in the United Kingdom isn't much to write home about either—it's entirely state-run, much like Medicare here in the States.

It’s commendable that the Holy Spirit provides a website with information. Unfortunately, that information is flat-out wrong. On:
http://www.klubtrudnica.net/porod/epiziotomija.htm
they are spreading falsehoods:
- "An episiotomy speeds up delivery and makes stitching easier." That’s just not true. Research shows that if tearing is going to happen anyway, an episiotomy doesn't prevent it; it actually makes the resulting tear much worse. The idea that routine episiotomies are beneficial is completely outdated. Does the Holy Spirit even keep up with modern medical advancements?

It's interesting how they claim an episiotomy is often standard 😲practice during birth, yet they follow that up by saying "incontinence issues were more pronounced in women who had an episiotomy." Does that mean they're performing the procedure just to cause incontinence? For actual, accurate information regarding episiotomies, you should check:

I also find it quite unsettling how the site suggests a pregnant woman should simply "mention" to her OBGYN that she wants to avoid an episiotomy. That isn't how it works. The truth is that a patient shouldn't be forced to sign a blanket consent form that authorizes doctors to perform any and all procedures on her body. If you don't sign that form, they are legally required to ask for permission before every single step—whether it's starting an IV, breaking the water, or making an incision. If a hospital refuses to provide care because a patient won't sign away her rights, she can report them to the Department of Health for a blatant violation of patient rights.

Re:
http://www.example.com/article/story/145
This is about a woman who managed to convince the hospital staff to let her give birth exactly how she wanted—naturally, without all the unnecessary cutting, stitching, or interference. Everything went smoothly until one doctor took it personally. Apparently, having an opinion on your own medical care was enough to make this physician decide to settle a score.

First, she started performing manual exams that were intentionally aggressive and incredibly painful. Then, once the baby arrived, the doctor started stitching up minor tears before the anesthesia had even kicked in.😲

Now, I can see how a painful exam might be chalked up to incompetence or just a bad day, but that bit about the stitching? That sounds like intentional cruelty. It’s a blatant violation of medical ethics.

A few questions:
- How do you defend yourself against this kind of targeted harassment from a doctor who holds all the power?
- If someone isn't in a position to fight back in the moment, what's the best way to report them, hold them accountable, or ensure they face actual consequences?

If this turns out to be true, then we should just go with a lifetime ban.

What’s your deal, Arslan? 😲

I didn't read the whole thing—too long. You aren't a doctor, you've never even seen a birth, so how can you pretend to be an expert here? When a baby is born, they're cyanotic—completely blue, looking like a little alien—and it takes a minute or two before they actually turn pink. Delivery needs to be fast because that tiny thing is in hypoxia. That's why the abdomen is pressed; it's to make things easier for both the mother and the baby.

Checkups are done by hand... doctors gauge dilation by how many fingers fit, which determines when labor can actually get moving. Yeah, it's done by hand. How else would you do it? Use a trocar from the inside?

I'm sure the doctor was just being malicious and stitched her up without any numbing agents... Give me a break. Lidocaine kicks in instantly; if she wanted to use it, she could have. I don't know if they performed an episiotomy—not wasting my time quoting all that—but if they didn't and the perineum just tore, we're talking maybe two or three stitches max. It's just that some women make a huge production out of it, while others breeze through without a hitch.

What did those doctors do to you to make you so bitter? Was this back in the States or somewhere in Australia?