What does this envelope mean? Which surgery is it for?

The title says it all.

Does anyone actually know what the standard "tip" is for a surgeon after an operation? Because I have zero clue.

I haven't asked this before, but trust me, I’m gonna be asking soon. Lord help me.

Thanks.

Richard Perez3 said:The headline says it all.

Does anyone know—because I certainly don't—what the standard etiquette is regarding "tipping" a surgeon after an operation?

It hasn't come up yet, but it will. Good grief.

Thanks.

Everyone in my immediate circle has had some kind of surgery over the last three or four years—gallbladder, prostate, more gallbladder issues—and nobody has ever given anything or even thought to ask. Everyone is still here, healthy, and the procedures went perfectly fine. 🙂

The only thing I actually said to the doctor was when I realized they weren't going to keep my father overnight, even though in my opinion, he absolutely should have stayed. It was something like this:

"If the healthcare system in this country were functioning normally, my father would be staying right here under your care." We were originally given a follow-up appointment for seven days out, but we had to rush him back in that very same day because it turned into an emergency—total urinary retention due to his prostate.

👋

Five hundred bucks? That sounds like a total scam. A friend of mine heard the same thing over at the Mayo Clinic.
I didn't pay a dime for mine—at the local cathedral—and honestly, my family ended up just taking the picture home afterward.

As long as you keep paying up, they’ll just keep coming back for more. But hey, if that doesn't bother you...

Richard Perez3 said:The title pretty much covers it all.

I was wondering—and please, if anyone actually has the answer, do let me know, because I am quite lost here—what the standard etiquette is regarding "tipping" a surgeon for an operation.

It hasn't come to this point just yet, but I have a nagging suspicion it will. Good heavens.

Thanks.

Well, I suppose it really depends on the nature of the surgery in question. You'd likely get a more precise answer from someone who has navigated a similar situation with the specific doctor performing the procedure.
Personally, I’ve never felt the need to hand over cash or even a particularly substantial gift to doctors, though fortunately, I haven't had to deal with anything too life-altering. In my extended family, however, people have certainly handed over money for surgeries; they usually managed to sniff out the unofficial "rates" by chatting with other patients or the nursing staff while prepping for the procedure.

Brandon Nelson3 said:Five hundred bucks?! A friend of mine heard that was the price at the Mayo Clinic.
I didn't pay a dime for mine (at the local cathedral), and then my folks ended up getting the painting stolen right after!

I'm with you on this one—my coworker paid the exact same amount over at the Mayo Clinic.

Back when I was still living in America about ten years ago, I needed surgery for scoliosis at Oakland. The waiting list was endless, and they told me I’d be seen in just a few months. Well, that never happened. I called them a hundred times, but they never once reached out. Ten years have passed since then.
Basically, they were probably just looking for a payout, but by then, I had already moved to Germany five years ago. Now, I’m having second thoughts. A bit of fear has set in, even though I could get this operated on here without any massive wait times.

Honestly, my family and I have been through hospital after hospital, surgery after surgery... but we have NEVER—and I mean NEVER—ever handed cash or even fancy gifts to doctors or nurses. I’m talking nothing. Not even a cake my mom brought to the ward when I graduated, or those times I’d grab massive tubs of ice cream for the nursing staff during those brutal 100-degree heatwaves (I won't even count those!). From what I've seen, doctors rarely ask for bribes for life-saving surgeries, even if they definitely overcharge for other stuff. Like, you know, things like herniated discs or whatever—they'll charge patients until they're blue in the face, but that’s just one example.

Maybe I'm totally off base here, though... it's just my own experience dealing with hospitals over the last 20 years...

granitesailor33 said:Back when I was still living in the States—about ten years ago, actually—I needed spinal surgery for scoliosis at the Mayo Clinic. The waiting list was endless, and I was supposedly supposed to be seen within a few months. But nothing happened. I called them a hundred times, just begging for an update, yet they never once reached out to me. Ten years just slipped by without a word.
It honestly felt like they were just fishing for cash, though by then, five years prior, I had already moved to Germany—but now, looking back, my perspective has shifted entirely. A certain fear has taken hold of me lately, even though if I were still there, I could probably get the procedure done without those agonizing delays.

Word on the street is that spine surgery at Oakland can cost you about $5,000 just to skip the line and avoid waiting months for an appointment—at least, that’s what my neighbor who lives down by the coast used to tell me.

I didn't pay anything officially, of course, but if you start adding up all the little envelopes handed to nurses and doctors—and since I was a tiny thing in there, being born a bit premature—those amounts could easily add up to that kind of sum.

Thanks for all the replies, honestly feels like I can finally breathe again 😁

Got my surgery date set for the end of the month. It's for a uterine tumor.

I’m definitely not an expert here... but if the appointment is already on the books, they shouldn't just cancel on you if you don't show up with some specific paperwork or whatever, right?

Right? Tell me I'm right. 😬

Amanda Lee42 said:I heard spine surgeries in Oakland can cost around $5,000 if you want to skip the months of waiting and get seen right away. At least, that’s what my neighbor down at the coast was telling me.

I didn't pay anything out of pocket, but when you factor in all the extra costs—the endless bags of supplies for the nurses and doctors (my little one spent quite a bit of time in the NICU since she was premature)—you could easily end up with a bill like that.

Where on earth are you getting a $5,000 figure for surgery from? Is that just a way to line someone's pockets, or does that actually cover the procedure itself?

😲

Brandon Nelson3 said:A whopping $500. A friend heard that was the going rate at the Mayo Clinic.
As for my own experience at the local Cathedral, I didn't pay a dime; in fact, my family ended up donating a painting afterward.

Was this some sort of "under the table" payment for something they weren't even required to do?
Because if that's the case, I suppose I could wrap my head around it.

They’ll keep squeezing you as long as you keep paying. But hey, if you don't mind being a walking ATM...

I couldn't agree more with that sentiment!
I have never once handed cash to a doctor, nor have I ever felt like I was receiving subpar care because of it.

I truly cannot fathom the logic of those who slide envelopes across desks thinking it solves everything.
Good grief. Doctors are already compensated for their expertise through their actual jobs!

Jamie Clark74 said:Where on earth are you getting $5,000 for a surgery? Is that just extra cash to grease someone's palm, or does the procedure actually cost that much?

😲

Look, you deal with it however you can. If you can't swing it, you don't get the surgery. Period. Otherwise, you're stuck waiting six months. Or longer. Because apparently, there are "no openings." But the second you show up with the cash? Suddenly, a slot miraculously opens up.

steelpanther9 - cut the crap. Yeah, they get paid to do their jobs. Sure. But the healthcare system here is a total dumpster fire. If you've got the dough, you're good; if you don't, you're screwed. Who gives a damn?

Would you rather just kick the bucket?

Richard Perez3 said:Bocca—give me a break. Sure, they get paid to do their jobs. They do. But the state of our healthcare system is an absolute train wreck. If you have the cash, you’re golden; if you don't, you might as well just roll over and die. Who cares, right?

Would you honestly rather just drop dead?

Look, I didn't mean to get under your skin; I know that's the last thing you need right now, and unnecessary agitation is useless.
But truly, I have never encountered doctors or hospital protocols quite like the ones you're describing.

My sister dealt with some serious health issues, dragging herself from one hospital to the next, and while things were genuinely dire, we never once felt the need to slip someone an envelope just to ensure she received basic attention.
That’s why these stories you're telling me are so hard to wrap my head around.

As for those who actually take bribes from people too sick to care about the cost—they should be deeply ashamed. Truly shameful.
To work in medicine to help people, only to exploit them at their most vulnerable moments... it's predatory.
Isn't there some kind of oversight agency or institution where these kinds of incidents can be reported?
(Though, naturally, you'd probably wait until after the surgery to file the report.😉 )

.......
Patients who just assume they can demand things without ever being asked a single question

They try to "buy off" doctors with stacks of cash, foolishly thinking they can purchase better health or somehow bribe their way into getting special treatment 😁

I don't hold it against the nurses; they work their tails off for a few hundred or even a few thousand dollars 😲

Here is a textbook example:

- The self-appointed queen of this topic actually had a scheduled appointment, and nobody even mentioned money to her.
Yet, she’s already losing her mind, ready to shove an envelope full of cash under a doctor's nose.

We basically turned our doctors into this kind of person ourselves. 😱

And for those looking to hand over an envelope? There's always a doctor available for them.

steelpanther9, my bad 🙂 I went a little off the rails there, didn't mean to. But look, this mess has been going on for years. Everyone knows it, it's all over the news, people talk about it openly—so now suddenly half the people on this thread are acting like they’ve never heard of it and are totally shocked by how things work. It’s because they can get away with it. They do it because they can. Because at the end of the day, people are just trying to survive.

I mean, I could play dumb and act like I’m living in some perfect little bubble where everything is sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever goes wrong, but we're talking about health here. That’s literally what this subforum is for: the most important thing in life. If people think it's better to just stay uninformed about these practices, fine.

I wasn't asking for special treatment or for one specific patient to get extra attention. But clearly, I must have phrased something poorly if that's how it came across. Honestly, I can't even find the part where I said that 🤔

Richard Perez3 said:steelpanther9, sorry, 🙂I lost my cool for a second there. But this situation has been going on for years. Everyone knows about it; it’s in the papers and people discuss it openly. Now, suddenly, half the people on this thread act like they’ve never heard of it and are shocked by how things work. It’s because it can be done. And it gets done because it can. People just want to survive.

I could play the fool, living in some fairy tale where everything is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong, but we’re talking about health here. That’s what this subforum is for: addressing the most important thing in life. If there's a way to stay informed about these practices, I'm going to do it.

I wasn't asking for special treatment or for a patient to be singled out. Apparently, I phrased something in a way that made it sound like I was, though I honestly can't find where I did that. 🤔

-------------------------------
😘 For starters, 🙂

You didn't say you were looking for special attention; that was just my own interpretation. 🙂

It’s like... "I'll give them a little extra so they'll look at me more kindly," trying harder than necessary. 🙂 Isn't that how it works??

When you already have an appointment, you don't owe anyone anything.

Whether you choose to offer something extra is up to you. But if nobody asked for it, you should realize that people aren't exactly satisfied with the bare minimum. You have to decide how much you're willing to provide.
I think it's unnecessary.

I say this because, unfortunately, I've spent countless hours around doctors, endless nights in ERs, and gone through several surgeries. Nobody ever got anything extra from me—or us. Everything was handled without any extra payments. 🙂

Elective C-sections are typically charged when there isn't a medical necessity—basically, when a woman simply chooses to deliver that way. In the US, you don't really have the option to just opt for it on a whim without reason, so women end up paying doctors under the table to perform them. If a C-section is medically indicated or, heaven forbid, an emergency procedure, there's no charge for that.

I had surgery to remove a uterine fibroid myself, performed by one of the top laparoscopic specialists over at the Mayo Clinic, and I didn't pay a single cent out of pocket. Once a surgical date is already on the books, it seems pretty cynical to suggest a doctor is sitting there waiting for a bribe to go through with the operation 😕

steelpanther9 said:Was it some kind of unnecessary medical fee they charged?
Because that’s the only way this actually makes sense to me.

I don't remember her exact words—memory is fuzzy—but I'm pretty sure the woman was being incredibly stubborn about wanting a C-section, even though a natural birth was totally doable.

Smart bitch said:You just deal with it however you can. If you can't manage, you don't get the surgery. You end up waiting six months, maybe even longer, because there are simply no openings. But if you show up with cash in hand? Suddenly, an appointment magically appears.

Bocca—don't give me that. They get paid for their jobs. They really do. But the healthcare system here is a disaster. If you have the money, you're set; if you don't, you're on your own. Who cares?

Would you rather just die?

We're all stuck waiting in any system... though maybe things are better in Europe.
I had two complicated spinal surgeries by the time I was 30.

The last one was last year. Since I don't have private insurance, I was lucky enough to have a specialist who operates at both private clinics and public hospitals... he put me at the top of his priority list. He doesn't practice anymore now.

In a city like Adelaide with 1.75 million people, there isn't a single private doctor working in the public hospital system... I've personally seen waits of 18 months, and some people are waiting four years for knee surgery. Is this what we call Western countries?

If you have private insurance, you basically get taken care of quickly in a private facility. It’s not about bribes; it’s more about co-pays, since doctors often charge more than what insurance covers.

Around here, a doctor's visit is covered by Medicare, but you pay a supplement if the doctor charges extra... and everyone charges extra. For example, for a 10-minute visit, Medicare pays the doctor $30, and then they ask the patient for an additional $10 for seniors or $25 for workers.

A well-known neurology specialist might get $85 from Medicare per visit, leaving you to shell out $80 on top of that as a retiree.

Private insurance covers the hospital stay... but for a family starting at age 30, it could cost anywhere from $1,800 to $2,500.

I had coverage for 28 years before I stopped. If I were to sign up again, I'd be hit with a 2% penalty for every year of age.
Since my wife is 68 and I'm 64, I'd be paying a 2% penalty for 36 years (66 minus 30).
That’s 72% of $1,800, which is a $1,296 penalty, bringing the total to $3,096... and even then, I'd still have to pay the base $250 per visit plus whatever extra the doctor wants for a surgery.

So much for Democracy and capitalism.

Stay healthy, everyone.

😉