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The Watch (2004)

Started by Gary Kelly8 · · 👁 10 views · 68 replies

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Participants Gary Kelly8Sean Lee7Elizabeth Garcia2Eric Jackson43Larry King37Betty Walkercasualotter21Jose Chase2Matthew Doyle73redowl90Paul Mendoza8Larry Martin11bluebison8Raymond Palmer8Brian Gonzalez7northerncrane4quietdriver3stormycyclist13irontiger25Acoastalgardener40cosmicraven2Frank Moore4Arthur Anderson49 …
Gary Kelly8 Gary Kelly8 MemberOP
37 messages
joined Apr 2006
#1 ·
I popped this on my Blu-ray a few days ago—it’s a Russian production with a $3 million budget. Basically, they took a standard fantasy premise, cherry-picked all the best visual effects from The Lord of the Rings and The Matrix... and ended up churning out a total Straw film!
I’m honestly still reeling from it...
(The thread might stay quiet for a bit, I guess, but once people start talking, I have a feeling everyone is going to be just as shocked as I was by how much this "Hollywood-style" Russian flick tries to mimic the big studios...)
Sean Lee7 Sean Lee7 Member
44 messages
joined Apr 2004
#2 ·
Where did you find that? Was it at a local video store or did you pick it up through some shady channels?
Gary Kelly8 Gary Kelly8 MemberOP
37 messages
joined Apr 2006
#3 ·
I honestly don't see this hitting video rental stores anytime soon—it looks pretty "bootleg" on Blu-ray, though at least it has English subtitles...
I actually got my hands on it from an old flame from Russia. btw, that flick actually pulled in more cash over there than Spider-Man 2 did (which is a massive achievement, especially when you consider how Americans view their own cinema—I mean, people love it and respect it, sure, but they just don't show up to the theaters like they used to...)
Elizabeth Garcia2 Elizabeth Garcia2 Active Member
53 messages
joined Apr 2005
#4 ·
Uh, I honestly thought you were talking about that trashy TV movie from '95 starring Pierce Brosnan...
I mean, where did you even dig up that flick all of a sudden?
Eric Jackson43 Eric Jackson43 Active Member
73 messages
joined Dec 2006
#5 ·
Just grabbed the trailer.

SO WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ASKING FOR THIS MOVIE??!!
Larry King37 Larry King37 Member
18 messages
joined Oct 2006
#6 ·
Oh my goodness!😲 😲
Betty Walker Betty Walker Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jul 2004
#7 ·
Just caught a segment on CNN about that movie, and I figured I’d pop onto the forum to see what everyone thinks... 😲

They were saying the film is a massive hit over in Russia—apparently, it’s totally blowing Lord of the Rings and The Matrix out of the water in terms of box office numbers there.

It’s structured like the first part of a trilogy, and word is they’re already filming the sequel...

From the trailers I managed to catch, the special effects look solid, but some of the scenes felt almost ridiculous...

Especially that bit where the guy falls from the plane straight into a tiny cup, like I was watching a damn Nescafé commercial...

I really hope that’s just an outlier...
Gary Kelly8 Gary Kelly8 MemberOP
37 messages
joined Apr 2006
#8 ·
Honestly, I’ve heard quite a few people complaining that the movie feels like one giant commercial for Nescafé... but hey, it’s still Straw!
Gary Kelly8 Gary Kelly8 MemberOP
37 messages
joined Apr 2006
#9 ·
So, it’s been over a year now since that "The Watch arrives in America" movie dropped. And then what? Did any of you guys from the forum actually catch it?
I'm curious—did anyone have any strong feelings about it, or maybe some complaints or gripes to share?
casualotter21 casualotter21 Regular
264 messages
joined Feb 2003
#10 ·
Gary Kelly8 said:Well, it's been over a year since the movie "The Watch arrived in America." So, what now? Has anyone from this forum actually seen it? Any opinions, complaints, or grievances to share?

I’ve seen it twice myself. That alone probably speaks volumes about my impression, but let me elaborate:

- The first time, I went with a group. It was alright, though I didn't fully grasp the plot immediately. It isn't exactly a masterpiece of complex storytelling; the film is just too MTV-style to be a deep conversation starter at home.

- The second time, I watched it with a friend who couldn't make it to the theater due to finals. This time, I caught some details I missed initially (like, why are they wearing sunglasses in twilight? What's with all those mosquitoes?) and the movie immediately felt better.

Essentially, the plot isn't any smarter than your average Hollywood flick, but a week later, I watched the third Blade movie on Blu-ray and was stunned by how anemic and soulless it felt compared to The Watch: there's no humor, no interesting side characters, and Blade is so monolithically perfect that you know from the jump he has zero chance of losing...

"The Watch" is interesting to me specifically because of its contrasts with typical American films. Instead of working for some massive corporation, the heroes work for the electric company. The villains are clustered around a pop singer like Britney Spears. There's a kid on TV watching Buffy dubbed in Russian. Nuclear plant workers are cooking sausages on the pipes. Half the action takes place in public housing projects. There are heaps of little details that allow for a complete suspension of disbelief, making you believe that if vampires actually existed, this is exactly how things would go down.

And then there’s the lead, a total walking disaster of a drunk, who despite all his flaws, tries to do the right thing. As Matthew Doyle73 commented after the film:
"Uuuu, this one can turn into a tiger! And this one into an owl! And this one into a bear! What can you turn into, kid?"
"Nothing."

Who knows, but I find myself much more inclined to root for a hero like that than for hyper-competent, high-octane icons like Blade, where it's painfully obvious from the start that they'll succeed.

In any case, I didn't take the film too seriously, but I got the sense that the film itself doesn't take itself too seriously either, which works for me.
casualotter21 casualotter21 Regular
264 messages
joined Feb 2003
#11 ·
Betty Walker said:Based on the teaser I saw, the special effects look solid, though certain scenes felt borderline ridiculous...

specifically that part where the guy falls from the plane right into a tiny cup; it felt less like a movie and more like a Nescafé commercial...

I found it pretty absurd too, but if Nescafé actually produced an ad that morbidly hilarious, I suppose people might actually start drinking their coffee. 🙂
Jose Chase2 Jose Chase2 Active Member
196 messages
joined Sep 2008
#12 ·
casualotter21 said:I reckon they'd probably head out for a coffee.🙂

The real question here—are we talking about someone who doesn't drink coffee, or just someone who won't touch Nescafé?

To be honest, I’m pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff—I don't really hang out with people who don't drink coffee. They seem foreign to me... maybe even a little intimidating?😁 😁
casualotter21 casualotter21 Regular
264 messages
joined Feb 2003
#13 ·
Jose Chase2 said:The real question here is whether you just don't drink coffee, or if you specifically have an issue with Nescafé.

To be honest, I'm somewhat socially stunted when it comes to these things—I tend to avoid people who don't drink coffee; they seem foreign to me, and frankly, they even scare me a little.😁 😁

In that case, take one look at my avatar and start trembling, because I don't touch coffee, I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, and I've never even dabbled in recreational drugs. My true vices are laziness, the internet, and a complete lack of character.
Matthew Doyle73 Matthew Doyle73 Active Member
107 messages
joined Dec 2002
#14 ·
casualotter21 said:Take one look at my avatar and be terrified: I don't touch coffee, I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I’ve never even messed around with recreational drugs. My real vices? Laziness, the internet, and a total lack of backbone.

I basically check every single one of those boxes except for the coffee part, the lack of backbone, and I don't smoke while I'm sober. 😬

btw, this movie is absolute gold. 🙂
redowl90 redowl90 Regular
287 messages
joined Aug 2005
#15 ·
This movie is just exhausting, absolute garbage...

A complete 👎
Paul Mendoza8 Paul Mendoza8 Member
47 messages
joined Jun 2005
#16 ·
I saw it in theaters—only once, unfortunately—but I’ll definitely be revisiting it on Blu-ray. Absolutely fantastic!

Jose Chase2 said:The real question here is: do you just not drink coffee, or do you specifically avoid Nescafé?
To be honest, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff. I don't really hang out with people who don't drink coffee; they seem foreign to me. Honestly, I'm almost afraid of them.😁 😁

Look, Jose Chase2, how can I even put this... 😁
Jose Chase2 Jose Chase2 Active Member
196 messages
joined Sep 2008
#17 ·
Paul Mendoza8 said:Look, Jose Chase2, I don't even know how to put this... 😁

Just stop it.😲 😲 😲

How do you people even start your day?😵

Go ahead—tell me you don't like chocolate bars.🙄 🙄
casualotter21 casualotter21 Regular
264 messages
joined Feb 2003
#18 ·
Jose Chase2 said:How do you all typically kick off your mornings?😵

With chocolate, obviously!
And next you'll be telling me you don't like chocolate bars.

Sure. I’m a geek, but I’m not some kind of masochist. btw, if you have a sweet tooth for chocolate bars, you should definitely try that new miniature Lindt truffle in the green wrapper. It’s soft as a cloud and tastes exactly like a Snickers. You can polish it off in about thirty seconds. Mmmm!
Paul Mendoza8 Paul Mendoza8 Member
47 messages
joined Jun 2005
#19 ·
Jose Chase2 said:Don't mess with me.😲 😲 😲

😁 Maybe I just have a twisted mind.😬
Jose Chase2 said:How on earth do you people start your day?😵

First thing I do is get up, hit the restroom, and then knock back a little baby.
Larry Martin11 Larry Martin11 Active Member
141 messages
joined Feb 2008
#20 ·
...watched the midnight premiere at our one and only local AMC multiplex (and hey—the tickets were free and the seats were actually comfy, so...🙂 )...

...left feeling totally let down...

...I was expecting some sweeping Russian film—you know, something that takes those brilliant bits of Russian mythology (or at least their folklore—where else are you going to find better depictions of the battle between good and evil than in those classic Russian fairy tales? Seriously, highly recommend them for kids of all ages!) and blends it with everyday post-communist life, all backed by a massive budget and enough special effects to make it feel epic...

..but what did I get? Zero percent of that actual soul. Just some impressive special effects and CGI that exist purely for the sake of existing (remember that ridiculous scene where a screw ends up in a coffee cup? It didn't serve the plot at all; it was just there to show off that they have the tech and can pull it off)...a weak script, decent acting (I’ll admit, the lead actor was a pleasant surprise), and—when you boil it all down—basically just a two-hour commercial for Nescafé produced by Russians trying to prove they can do everything Americans can...

...honestly nothing special—it would be better if they brought us some actual, genuine Russian films to our empty theaters...

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