Organ donation after death: thoughts and experiences?

Look, here’s the thing—on paper, the whole concept works perfectly fine. You sit down, you and your family reach an agreement, and you think, "Okay, we're all set." But honestly? All those plans go right out the window when things take a turn for the worst. In those intense, emotional moments, parents and kids just... they don't want anyone touching their loved ones. It's overwhelming. That's why I think we need either a donor card or a digital registry—something where it’s explicitly stated that this was the choice of a conscious, consenting adult. Once that decision is made, nobody else should be able to change it.

copperrider20 said:But what if you’re at odds with your family? What if my mom and kids want one thing, but my husband and dad are on totally different pages?

At the end of the day, you're an organ donor unless you explicitly opt out. Why do they even bother asking the family? 😠

Honestly, I just keep my donor card tucked right inside my insurance card and hope someone actually notices it in eighty years.

Besides, I doubt anyone's going to be lining up for organs that old. 🙂

Let them carry it all once I'm gone😁

placidjackal36 said:Besides, I doubt anyone's going to be lining up for organs that old. 🙂

But seriously, what kind of organs are we even talking about here? What exactly can they take?

copperrider20 said:But what if you’re at odds with your family? What if my mom and kids want one thing, but my husband and dad are on totally different pages?

At the end of the day, you're an organ donor unless you explicitly opt out. Why do they even bother asking the family? 😠

Honestly, I just keep my donor card tucked right inside my insurance card and hope someone actually notices it in eighty years.

In the US, just like most other Western nations, we follow the principle of presumed consent when it comes to organ donation. Basically, everyone is an organ donor by default unless they’ve officially opted out in writing while they were alive.
But—and this is a big "but"—just like pretty much everywhere else, medical teams ALWAYS go to the family to ask for permission, regardless of whether you have a card or whatever.
A donor card is great for promoting the idea of donation as a selfless act, but legally speaking, it carries about as much weight as a membership card to a local gym or a video rental shop.
Not once in the history of American medicine have organs been taken without checking with the family first.
You can't look at this strictly through the lens of legal "presumed consent." There's just way too much raw emotion and sensitivity involved; no doctor is going to touch the explantation process unless the family gives the green light.
From what I've seen, no donation has ever been blocked by a family if the deceased person had a positive stance on being a donor and if the doctors take the time to sit down with the family, explain brain death clearly, and walk them through how they confirmed it.
And if the family is arguing? A random uncle or cousin can't just swoop in and dictate terms. There’s actually a specific hierarchy of who gets to decide, and it has to be followed. Usually, the spouse makes the call first, then the children, then the parents. There are more levels to it, but I don't want to misremember the exact order and give you bad info. Generally, it goes down the line to siblings, extended relatives, and legal guardians if there are any.

Jack Ramirez6 said:Now, this feels like a pretty interesting topic to dive into. Personally, I see the human body as this incredible resource—honestly, if something were to happen to us, wouldn't it make sense to share that gift with people in need? Since I'm studying medicine, I see all sorts of things—or at least hear the stories—about how people react to organ donation, and frankly, some of it seems totally disconnected from common sense. I mean, someone who’s passed away isn't going to be needing their organs anymore, right? But there are plenty of people out there who could really use them. So, where do you all stand on this? Would you be an organ donor, and would you want your loved ones to be one too?

Look, it’s an individual choice. Everyone decides for themselves. Personally? I wouldn't let anyone touch my organs while I'm still here, but once I'm dead... yeah, I think I'll sign up. I won't need them where I'm going, and if they can save a life, why not? When I kick the bucket, just take whatever you want from me. 😁Sure, I'll end up rotting and getting eaten by worms eventually, 😉but in a way, a part of me stays behind... living on inside someone else.

Look, I am 100% down for organ donation. I’ve actually had my donor card sitting in my wallet for years, all filled out and signed, but here's the thing—I haven't actually mentioned it to my primary care doctor yet. Like, does she even need to know? Should I tell her so she can scribble it down in my medical file or whatever, or is it totally unnecessary?

Keith Barrett2 said:Look, I am 100% down for organ donation. I’ve actually had my donor card sitting in my wallet for years, all filled out and signed, but here's the thing—I haven't actually mentioned it to my primary care doctor yet. Like, does she even need to know? Should I tell her so she can scribble it down in my medical file or whatever, or is it totally unnecessary?

Right now, it looks like what was written above is actually true—that donor card is basically just an informal document with very little legal weight. Like I said before, everyone is considered a potential donor unless they officially opt out during their lifetime, which is handled differently anyway.

I’ve already gone ahead and signed up to be an organ donor! Honestly, I don't see any reason why I would ever need those organs myself once I'm gone, and even if things stay exactly as they are now, why wouldn't I want to help? Isn't it wonderful to think that I might actually save someone's life or bring a little more happiness to a family somewhere out there?

This whole thing was thrown at us with an aggressive attack based on what was splashed in the news yesterday—though looking back through the archives, I see this debate isn't even new. Honestly, kudos to anyone noble enough to support it, but let’s be real: our organs belong to us. Period. Only the individual—or their next of kin if they never made their stance clear while alive—should have the right to decide. At least regarding Canada, there should be a law stating that upon death—say, following a sudden accident—organs can be transplanted WITHOUT THE CONSENT of the deceased. I mean, if you don't proactively go somewhere specific to say "no," then fine. It's shameful! I’m just wondering, where can someone actually file a written refusal? It’s such nonsense—instead of creating laws that respect everyone's autonomy, people are forced to write it into their wills just out of fear that their bodies will be desecrated automatically without explicit permission. We're talking about millions of citizens who need to weigh in here. How many of them are actually against it, versus those who are just completely in the dark about this new policy when a tragedy strikes?

The exact same thing goes down in most European countries too—it's all based on that presumed consent rule. It’s the same way here in the States. But honestly, I've never seen an organ taken from anyone without the family being fully on board first. They always check in with the relatives, and at the end of the day, the family has the final say.
There's really no manipulation going on here, so there's no need to start panicking, trust me.

Alright. If there isn't a legal mandate forcing people to put their stance in writing—then personally? I wouldn't want to donate an organ unless it was to my immediate family, people I actually feel a moral debt toward. I’m not down for anything else—nor would I ever expect anyone to step up for me if they hadn't already given their consent, no matter how you look at it.

Thanks for the answer. It’s a relief to breathe a little easier now.

Look, I’m all for donating—as long as what they’re taking is actually useful, obviously.👍
But honestly? I might just negotiate to have them cut my heart out right now, whether it’s "useful" or not. It’s purely because I am terrified of the sheer possibility that someone might actually wake up after being declared dead. Between medical incompetence and doctors being shaky about when they officially call it, I can't shake the fear of waking up in a casket—trapped, suffocating, and facing what I personally consider the absolute worst way to die.

Man, I really hope you're just pulling my leg with this one....

Scott Allen10 said:Man, I really hope you're just pulling my leg with this one....

Wake up and smell the coffee...😕

I am dead serious. I actually know of a case where a guy sat up right out of an open casket while his family and the priest were still hovering over him praying—we're talking just a few hours before the funeral was even set to start...

Man, believe me when I say those kinds of stories don't really have anything to do with what we're talking about here. I actually dug up an old thread about donations and tied it all together, so if you're curious about the ins and outs of how it works, just give it a read from the very beginning.😉

Look, I’d happily donate my organs after I pass, but honestly? Who’s going to give me a written guarantee that I won't check out early?

darkbison81 said:It’s not just an issue here in the States. In some parts of the world, these organ trafficking networks are actually much better organized; wherever there's demand, they manage to manufacture a supply to match...

I first heard about this from my own family doctor. Later, through my professional work, I had direct contact with people involved in tissue typing—which is a mandatory step for any transplant. They were the ones who told me straight up: never agree to be typed unless you absolutely have to for your own medical needs. The logic is that once your data is sitting in those registries, if you ever end up hospitalized while someone else (ideally someone with deep pockets) happens to be a perfect match, things can "accidentally" go sideways very quickly...

People don't talk about this kind of thing in public, obviously, but the people close to me—my family and my inner circle of colleagues—felt it was my responsibility to warn me.

Unfortunately, just like everything else in life, people always find a way to take a noble idea and completely ruin it.😢

In a perfect world, I’d probably feel okay with the idea that if I were freshly deceased, my organs could go wherever they were needed most...

Jerry Moore2 said:I don't know... ever since I watched that one British movie about this topic, plus some stuff I saw back when I was a kid regarding cloning, I've been strictly against those donor cards. In this day and age, just about any lunatic can commit a murder. There are way too many people out there getting filthy rich by exploiting this kind of thing. 😢

I seriously can't believe how many paranoid people there are. 😲 Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if some doctor here tries to take you out just to get their hands on your organs. What kind of sick sci-fi movie is this? 🙄

I think organ donation is a beautiful thing, and I want to get my donor card sorted as soon as possible. Honestly, I won't have any use for my organs once I'm gone, especially since I’d prefer cremation anyway. The problem is, my parents are completely against it. They’ve got this narrow-minded attitude, just like those elitist snobs on certain online forums. It could end up being a real issue if I pass away before they do...

Can my primary care doctor—the one holding my medical records—actually note down a refusal to donate organs to anyone except specific people I designate? Or does that only work if I list my next of kin?

Look, I'm not saying I'm flat-out against it,

but I’d only ever consider it for the people I actually love—people who mean something to me. As for that mystical, "love thy neighbor" type of altruism? No chance. I'm just not that saintly.

Besides, I'm not about to let some random stranger decide what happens to my body after I'm gone.

What I'm really wondering is: can a doctor actually write that "but" into my file? Specifically, that I opt out for everyone *except* certain individuals? It's a bit heavy to sit there and try to list exactly who those people are, if I'm being honest.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it—but selectively. Period. Honestly, listening to those "holier-than-thou" types judge me just makes my blood boil!

Roger Martinez8 Asks:
Can you actually file a formal statement against organ donation with your primary care physician—the one who manages your medical records—to ensure your wishes are respected, even if it isn't your immediate next of kin making the call? ... I'm wondering if there's a way to make that official...

So, look—I wouldn't say I'm explicitly against it, per se...

I’d only ever give my heart to the people I truly love—the ones who actually mean something to me... As for that mystical, universal love for everyone? No chance. I’m just not that noble...

I simply will not allow anyone—absolutely anyone—to decide what happens to my organs instead of me...

What really bugs me—and I’ll admit, thinking about this is a bit difficult—is whether a doctor could actually include that "but" in my medical records... specifically when excluding close family members, which would be quite a challenge to document, if you know what I mean...

Of course I’m all for it—but only SELECTIVELY, and there's no other way to look at it. Honestly, seeing how some of those self-righteous "saints" have been judging people... it actually hurts my feelings, man!

It honestly seems pretty senseless—mostly because the odds that someone you’d actually want to gift an organ to would happen to need one at the exact moment of your passing are incredibly slim... not to mention the massive headache of tissue incompatibility and all that. Organs can't just be stored away on a shelf, either; you know from the movies how they have to rush them via helicopter just to get them transplanted in time. Maybe there's some room for negotiation there... 😁 If I were facing my final moments, I’d give up my organs in a heartbeat—provided they went straight to people who actually needed them right then... but there's a catch, isn't there? The idea that if one of my own loved ones ever needed a transplant down the line, they would receive someone else's gift instead. It's a bit of a heavy thought, I suppose... Still, let's be realistic—you'd certainly get an organ if you were on the list, especially if you ran into someone who didn't attach so many conditions to their donation as I do... 🤷 🙄 Look, if nobody on that list of yours actually needed anything—and you had already donated everything you owned—then we’d just be talking about a total waste of time... which is basically just a massive screw-up. ☕ It’s certainly not easy for you...