Offside Chat Archives (2014-2021)

An old mentor of mine used to say that spending the summer with a girlfriend is a bit like heading out into the woods with a bunch of firewood.

brightpilot6 said:I felt a certain sense of frustration last year when you couldn't find a single bottle of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru aged prior to '66 anywhere in the entire city.

Well, you'll find plenty of that kind of thing in Monaco—usually grabbed during those little breaks between rounds at the casino!

Maria Anderson said:An old mentor of mine used to say that spending the summer with a girlfriend is a bit like heading out into the woods with a bunch of firewood.

And you're doing it with just a single tree, 😢

Robin Fox2 said:You aren't just an American, you're the embodiment of one... When you go to get blood drawn, you probably get annoyed because it's red, and people call you "Luke" because the socialists start weeping the moment you step within a yard of them. Your heart beats for the States, but even that is eclipsed by that massive patriotic heart tattoo on your shoulder... When your blood pressure spikes, the federal budget starts shrinking preemptively, you wear Crocs all summer, and your bathroom is tiled in red, white, and blue...

🤣 About 90% of the replies I see are perfectly reasonable—parking spots, that guy with the chain, and so on...

I suspect there is a single question that truly defines who you are, and nothing else really matters...🤣

No. 🤷 I tried inputting some "middle ground" answers and got this:

Congratulations! You are a true-blue American! Your DNA isn't a double helix; it's a square. From foreign nations, you only respect Germany. From news sources, you trust nothing but Fox News. From medicine, you prefer moonshine, and for cologne, you stick to Brut. We are grateful for your existence!

EDIT: Here is another one.

The Fake American.

You’ve heard about true Americanism and you wish you were one of us, but you just don't get it. There is something rotten in you. Maybe your name is Elvis, or maybe you drive a Tesla. On paper, you are an American, but everyone knows we can never fully accept you.

Honestly, you should have just gone with Sammi's photo—it would've worked so much better—but this one from Dudu? It just doesn't fit the vibe at all. 🤷

It wasn't me. It was them. 🤣 Though, I suppose I agree. ☕

Eric Fox7 said:Just leave her at home and then it doesn't really matter which place you pick. 🤷

Look, I have to go because I finally managed to clear my schedule for the World Cup, so I really need to get this trip out of the way before summer hits.

brightpilot6 said:Good grief, man, just be a bit more creative and take her out to some quiet spot in rural Kentucky instead. Either way, you’ll end up spending a lot less money.

I’ve got a skydiving trip scheduled 😎, so that's basically my vacation planned out right there.

brightpilot6 said:I felt a certain sense of frustration last year when you couldn't find a single bottle of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru aged prior to '66 anywhere in the entire city.

🤣🤣

brightpilot6 said:I felt a certain sense of frustration last year when you couldn't find a single bottle of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru aged prior to '66 anywhere in the entire city.

It’s such a letdown when that happens! 🙄
I just set my monocle aside and give a heavy, judgmental sigh.

brightpilot6 said:I felt a certain sense of frustration last year when you couldn't find a single bottle of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru aged prior to '66 anywhere in the entire city.

One can truly sense the recession hitting; now they're only stocking vintages from '87 to '89...

brightpilot6 said:I felt a certain sense of frustration last year when you couldn't find a single bottle of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru aged prior to '66 anywhere in the entire city.

brightpilot6 said:I know we used to joke about how "we'll arrive at the hotel and realize there aren't five stars anymore," but if I'm being honest, there was always this underlying sense that we were being treated like second-class citizens.

🤣

🙂👏

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgFKc...tailpage#t=481

And now, even Eto'o has jumped on the bandwagon with this latest internet craze! ☕

https://www.facebook.com/KILEMIAMI

🙏 🙏

Late again! 😁

The tractor of my dreams...

Lmao, Freud would have had a field day with dreams like these.

A classic chip shot, executed with pure American flair. 🤣

Heading out to Phoenix next week 🙏

Ice falling straight from the heavens😢

Did you experience this crash too?



All I'm seeing on my end is ice...😢