Offside Chat Archives (2014-2021)

Adam King6 said:Ken even mentioned he started wearing a mask for himself, not for some hairdresser.

And what the hell is an SJW anyway? 🤷

When I read "wearing a mask for the first time," I totally took it to mean the barber told him he had to wear one 🤔

If that’s really what happened, then honestly, let's just laugh about it! 🤣

Don't get all worked up on me now, Messi isn't going anywhere, I was just messing with you.

Messi can't ever be caught slipping because if they actually checked his growth hormone levels, the needle would probably snap right off the gauge, so they just blame the equipment and tell everyone to chill out and stay calm 😂

restlesssurfer97 said:Messi can't ever be caught slipping because if they actually checked his growth hormone levels, the needle would probably snap right off the gauge, so they just blame the equipment and tell everyone to chill out and stay calm 😂

3.6 ☕

says shadowmarlin22, now his barber is probably going to have to grab size 🤣

steelharbor9 said:So, I guess we could totally laugh at people who act all careful and cautious after being stuck in close quarters with everyone else all day? Maybe? I mean, honestly, it’s kind of funny! It's like, they spend eight hours in a crowded office or a packed subway car, and then suddenly they're acting like they need a hazmat suit. I don't know! It seems a little much sometimes, right? But hey, maybe I'm just overthinking it! Haha! 🙏

Way to go! Awesome job! 🙏

I wore mine once. Just once. And definitely won't be doing it again unless some crazy mandate makes it mandatory. 🤣 It’s honestly a total disaster. I’m starting to feel bad for those poor retail workers who have to lug this stuff around for 8 hours straight.

My hairdresser had one on for the first time yesterday—said the exact same thing. There’s just no getting used to it. 😁

Left all my info right there... 🙏 what a wonderful new world we live in.

urbanhawk17 said:says shadowmarlin22, now his barber is probably going to have to grab size 🤣

This legislation is absolute nonsense.
What took me years to figure out, these people are going to settle in a heartbeat.

Kyle Campbell4 said:The empire lasted roughly 150 years, which isn't a short run considering its massive scale. Given its sheer enormity, it was bound to fracture eventually. And let’s call them what they were: barbarians. They turned out that way because life on the steppes was brutal and everyone lived in absolute poverty. They were ruthless toward one another, showing no mercy. Later, once they encountered and integrated with the cultures of China, India, and other ancient kingdoms, they softened up a bit. But that initial wave led by Temujin was pure, unadulterated brutality. When Temujin went to avenge his father, who had been poisoned by a rival tribe, he wiped that entire group off the face of the earth. The whole tribe was slaughtered as if they had never existed. While campaigning through China, they were even known to use catapults to hurl plague-infected corpses 🤣 into enemy territory; there were very few psychotic lunatics like that in all of history.

Back in Genghis's day, they didn't actually have a single city; they were essentially one giant mobile unit on the move. Soldiers, horses, women, kids, the elderly—everyone lived in caravans. The idea of staying in one place was totally foreign and honestly seemed repulsive to them. They couldn't wrap their heads around why people in China lived in buildings with walls and roofs, because they were always worried the ceiling might cave in on them. Their first city, Karakorum, was built by Ögedei Khan, who put up this massive silver tree in the center that they had scavenged parts for all across Eurasia. It was kind of like a medieval version of Brasília, since they planned the city on an empty field and hired architects and craftsmen from all over Asia. That silver tree was actually designed by a goldsmith from Paris! They were even pretty tolerant toward different religions back then, allowing Christians and Muslims to practice as long as they stayed obedient and paid their taxes (though, I guess, they didn't really have much of a choice...).

Under Ögedei and his successors, Karakorum became a major site for world politics. Möngke Khan had the palace enlarged, and the great stupa temple completed. They had the Parisian goldsmith, Guillaume Bouchier, design the Silver Tree of Karakorum for the city center. A large tree sculpted of silver and other precious metals rose up from the middle of the courtyard and loomed over the palace, with the branches of the tree extended into the building. Silver fruit hung from the limbs and it had four golden serpents braided around the trunk, while within the top of the tree was placed a trumpet angel, all as automata performing for the emperor's pleasure. When the khan wanted to summon the drinks for his guests, the mechanical angel raised the trumpet to his lips and sounded the horn, whereupon the mouths of the serpents began to gush out a fountain of alcoholic beverages into the large silver basin arranged at the base of the tree.

That part of the world was way ahead of America or Europe before the plague hit. They had bigger cities, larger wars, and more advanced military and civilian tech. Like I mentioned before, the Song Dynasty was comparable to modern states in many ways. Even after the plague, Chinese sailors were building wooden ships 430 feet long that could reach the coast of Africa. Central Asia was also one of the wealthiest regions in the world, filled with huge cities along the Silk Road. The Mongols just turned them all into dust, and those regions haven't really recovered to this day. What used to be the world's main transit route is now just a flight path that takes a few hours in a jet...

urbanhawk17 said:says shadowmarlin22, now his barber is probably going to have to grab size 🤣

You mean he might actually have to get laid...

Honestly, I think Brandon’s got a much better shot if he keeps the mask on, you know? Like, when he stays quiet and just lets things breathe, instead of constantly suffocating everyone with his endless rants about the Lakers and the Spurs 🙄

dustyridge3 said:That’s a tough one for me, since those guys from the turn of the millennium were part of my very early childhood. 😬

And yeah, I completely blanked on the Hautamaki brothers. 🙏 🙏

God bless America, Hautamaki🙏

William Gomez5 said:God bless America, Hautamaki🙏

Wait, was I the only kid who thought "Scream of the Falcon" was some kind of formal greeting or something?

No? 😢

steelharbor9 said:Wait, was I the only kid who thought "Scream of the Falcon" was some kind of formal greeting or something?

No? 😢

😢

Man, what kind of ridiculous name is Bjern Ajnar Remeren? 🙏

Those Scandinavians were absolutely unhinged. You’ve got guys like Lars Bystol or Roar Ljhegoiwhoighwoieghowsey... even this Remeren dude seemed like the type of guy who'd break world records one day and then just decide to drive Haradu all the way out of Lillehammer the next.

And don't even get me started on Martin Schmitt—that guy's face is just annoying, always acting like he's against everything Milwaukee.

I guess Martin Höllwarth had such a massive nose that he’d probably end up drifting into Canadian airspace during any given tour.

If we’re talking about German talent, I guess Sven Hannawald is really the only one worth mentioning.

Man, Vidin Papi totally shut down that idiot yesterday 😁

not that I’m planning on getting the shot myself, but still... 🤷

steelharbor9 said:Wait, was I the only kid who thought "Scream of the Falcon" was some kind of formal greeting or something?

No? 😢

🤣🤣

Those childhood delusions are honestly the best part, aren't they? 🤣

I swear I used to sing along to those classic Taylor Swift hits thinking she was saying "you're in my blood, my darling" instead of "you're in my blood, you monster."

And don't even get me started on that old "Restless Heart" track. Back then, I thought it was some deep anthem about passion, but listening to it now? I can't tell if it's a masterpiece or just straight-up unhinged.🤣

And what am I supposed to do when she rides off on a horse?
I just watch her go.
🤦

For the longest time, I actually interpreted Barrett’s line about "light coming at the end of the darkness" as a subtle nod toward "and then comes King David." 🤣