Moderator's unprofessional behavior on Sweet'N Low

A quick little intro here.
To be honest, I hadn't even noticed this particular user on the lifestyle threads I usually post in. I can't remember the last time we actually spoke in a discussion—not this year, for sure, and probably not for a long while before that either. Because of that, I’ve never once disagreed with her, never subtly undermined her, and never directly "attacked" her on any topic. Nothing at all. She was basically invisible to me.
Was she closely monitoring my posts, or was I just invisible to her? I'm not entirely sure, though given what happened next, I’m leaning toward the first option. Even so, she never directed anything toward me while she was just an "ordinary" member.

Well, then that user became a moderator.

A few days ago, in a thread where I was commenting on fashion and brands (I wasn't even addressing her), she jumped out of nowhere with this comment:

Sweet'N Low said:And why would you put them in the same category? Seriously.

Sorry, but I really have to facepalm at this.
The mindset—same shirt, but if it's on someone with money it's fine, whereas if it's on someone with less, it looks ridiculous? To me, that is such a textbook example of being incredibly petty and small-minded.

🤦 x 10

That single post wouldn't have been much of an indicator on its own; maybe she just really dislikes my comment, which is totally fair.

But then, a day or two later, I'm back in a thread—in a discussion she hadn't even participated in until then—and I use the phrase "as long as it doesn't merit a strike" when replying to someone. I think it's obvious to everyone what that means, and no one without a massive bias would think I was trying to dictate the actual rules or anything like that. Yet, there she is, jumping in to write this:

Sweet'N Low said:Since when are you in a position to decide who deserves a strike?😕

I replied to her after a few other users had already explained to her what I meant by that statement:

Jose Williams said:Have we gotten a little too arrogant now that we're in power?
-So cute 🙂...

The girls explained what the context was, so you don't go in with prejudices. Honestly, I thought it would have been clear to you the first time.

👋

So, here’s her response to me:

Sweet'N Low said:I just wanted to see if you could manage to make a single post without being aggressive or resorting to ad hominem attacks.

"By chance?" Not by chance. Not even close.🤣

I can put you on ignore, but you can't do the same to me. 🙂 🙂>

👋

🤣

Look, I’m perfectly fine with getting under some random user's skin.

And honestly? I'm totally okay with getting under a moderator's skin, too.

But what I am *not* okay with is a moderator—someone who actually stepped up to take on that role—being unable to control themselves enough to hide their blatant bias and irritation toward me in writing.

It’s even worse that this moderator seems to think her new title gives her a free pass to snap at me and make personal jabs (as if I "can't possibly" write a post without attacking someone?! Did she feel personally called out or something? 😕) and then have the nerve to brag about how I can't ignore her because of her position. So, basically, I'm stuck dealing with her arbitrary outbursts. And let me reiterate: I haven't given her a single reason to lash out. I can't even remember the last time I even spoke to her on this forum.

How am I supposed to expect any objectivity from her after a meltdown like that? She’s already decided that everything I write is an attack.

How am I supposed to feel comfortable just chatting about a topic on this site if she keeps hounding me? Especially since she already had the nerve to mock me about not being able to block her.

Am I asking for too much by expecting a mod to show even a shred of professionalism and basic decency? Because in this case, there isn't even a hint of it. > has shown us exactly the opposite.

Jose Williams said:A quick little intro here.
To be honest, I hadn't even noticed this particular user on the lifestyle threads I usually post in. I can't remember the last time we actually spoke in a discussion—not this year, for sure, and probably not for a long while before that either. Because of that, I’ve never once disagreed with her, never subtly undermined her, and never directly "attacked" her on any topic. Nothing at all. She was basically invisible to me.
Was she closely monitoring my posts, or was I just invisible to her? I'm not entirely sure, though given what happened next, I’m leaning toward the first option. Even so, she never directed anything toward me while she was just an "ordinary" member.

Well, then that user became a moderator.

A few days ago, in a thread where I was commenting on fashion and brands (I wasn't even addressing her), she jumped out of nowhere with this comment:

That single post wouldn't have been much of an indicator on its own; maybe she just really dislikes my comment, which is totally fair.

But then, a day or two later, I'm back in a thread—in a discussion she hadn't even participated in until then—and I use the phrase "as long as it doesn't merit a strike" when replying to someone. I think it's obvious to everyone what that means, and no one without a massive bias would think I was trying to dictate the actual rules or anything like that. Yet, there she is, jumping in to write this:

I replied to her after a few other users had already explained to her what I meant by that statement:

So, here’s her response to me:

Look, I’m perfectly fine with getting under some random user's skin.

And honestly? I'm totally okay with getting under a moderator's skin, too.

But what I am *not* okay with is a moderator—someone who actually stepped up to take on that role—being unable to control themselves enough to hide their blatant bias and irritation toward me in writing.

It’s even worse that this moderator seems to think her new title gives her a free pass to snap at me and make personal jabs (as if I "can't possibly" write a post without attacking someone?! Did she feel personally called out or something? 😕) and then have the nerve to brag about how I can't ignore her because of her position. So, basically, I'm stuck dealing with her arbitrary outbursts. And let me reiterate: I haven't given her a single reason to lash out. I can't even remember the last time I even spoke to her on this forum.

How am I supposed to expect any objectivity from her after a meltdown like that? She’s already decided that everything I write is an attack.

How am I supposed to feel comfortable just chatting about a topic on this site if she keeps hounding me? Especially since she already had the nerve to mock me about not being able to block her.

Am I asking for too much by expecting a mod to show even a shred of professionalism and basic decency? Because in this case, there isn't even a hint of it. > has shown us exactly the opposite.

In other words, you're basically asking me not to leave any written evidence of my future disagreements with whatever you post, because apparently, that would constitute "unprofessionalism" on my part?
I have zero intention of wrapping myself in a cloak of hypocrisy and pretending that everyone here is wonderful or that I agree with every single word uttered; besides, it shouldn't be my job to just stand there like a decorative tulip, pretending this digital space is all sunshine and roses just to maintain a polite facade , regardless of how much that might bother certain people.

acting all high and mighty about the fact that I can't just put her on ignore because of her moderator status, so I guess I'm just stuck dealing with her arbitrary outbursts

but she can certainly ignore you—if that’s what she was trying to get at. 🙂

I haven't the slightest clue who either of you are—honestly, I don't even know what prompted me to stumble upon this complaint—but I feel compelled to say that this kind of behavior from a moderator is completely unacceptable. They should be doing everything possible to mask any personal biases toward forum members, let alone publicly taking someone down like this.🤷

Under the guise of "I can't withhold my opinion because I'm a moderator."
Fine, have an opinion... just keep it to yourself unless it actually pertains to a specific topic.

I went through something similar in Social Science last year, and it was anything but pleasant.

Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue who all the main players in this drama actually are—it’s all a bit of a blur—but I do know one thing: the moderators need to operate at a level of professionalism that doesn't feel like watching a playground spat in a preschool classroom. This whole situation is just plain unsightly.

Is it an unwritten rule now that we’re installing mods on ZK who aren't even qualified for the job? Looking at the moderator list, I can't help but chuckle 🤣

Paul Morales3 said:In other words, you're basically asking me not to leave any written evidence of my future disagreements with whatever you post, because apparently, that would constitute "unprofessionalism" on my part?
I have zero intention of wrapping myself in a cloak of hypocrisy and pretending that everyone here is wonderful or that I agree with every single word uttered; besides, it shouldn't be my job to just stand there like a decorative tulip, pretending this digital space is all sunshine and roses just to maintain a polite facade , regardless of how much that might bother certain people.

acting all high and mighty about the fact that I can't just put her on ignore because of her moderator status, so I guess I'm just stuck dealing with her arbitrary outbursts

but she can certainly ignore you—if that’s what she was trying to get at. 🙂

I really don't have the energy to get into a back-and-forth with you. I already tried to make that clear to you twice over on ZK. Though, I find it pretty amusing that you're trying to threaten (who, exactly? Me? Yourself? 🤷) by threatening to ignore an active, long-term member with thousands of posts on ZK—even if I only have two warnings—let alone someone who belongs in that subforum you recently, presumably voluntarily, agreed to moderate (?!). And then there's the fact that you can't seem to grasp the bare minimum of how to be fair to the users in your own section by hiding behind this cloak of hypocrisy and acting like everyone's best friend (?!?!). No sane user would ever demand that from a moderator, and I certainly haven't expected it from you, even in theory...

Anyway, maybe those nuances will help clarify things for the people who decided you'd be a suitable moderator. That's not my concern, but it's definitely interesting to file away these kinds of attitudes for the record. 😉

What I actually want from this thread is for the ZK administration—or the head admins, if necessary—to answer the questions laid out in the original post.

And I'm glad the neutral users are seeing exactly where the issue lies. 🙂

What's the deal here?
Is this thread following all the rules? Yep, it is.
The whole day's gone by, and I've seen three of the ZK moderators hanging out on the forum all day long. Even the supermod in charge of this section was around today, along with the admin too.

Are you guys just ignoring me? Or are you actually sitting there overthinking your replies for hours? 🤷

Paul Morales3 said:In other words, you're basically asking me not to leave any written evidence of my future disagreements with whatever you post, because apparently, that would constitute "unprofessionalism" on my part?
I have zero intention of wrapping myself in a cloak of hypocrisy and pretending that everyone here is wonderful or that I agree with every single word uttered; besides, it shouldn't be my job to just stand there like a decorative tulip, pretending this digital space is all sunshine and roses just to maintain a polite facade , regardless of how much that might bother certain people.

acting all high and mighty about the fact that I can't just put her on ignore because of her moderator status, so I guess I'm just stuck dealing with her arbitrary outbursts

but she can certainly ignore you—if that’s what she was trying to get at. 🙂

It’s exactly this kind of communication and behavior that caused those scenes we had on the PŽK recently.

Congrats on becoming a moderator—though I didn't really notice you over on ZK—but that doesn't give you a license to act entitled or do whatever you want. Tone it down. Soften your approach... even velvettrucker52 doesn't pull an act like this.

Jose Williams said:What's the deal here?
Is this thread following all the rules? Yep, it is.
The whole day's gone by, and I've seen three of the ZK moderators hanging out on the forum all day long. Even the supermod in charge of this section was around today, along with the admin too.

Are you guys just ignoring me? Or are you actually sitting there overthinking your replies for hours? 🤷

They're just waiting for the thread to die.

Ace, you’re honestly just so irritating and arrogant in how you carry yourself—acting like there isn't a single soul around you (which explains why nobody even knows who Paul Morales3 is)—that it’s really no wonder the mods have to read your posts with extra caution. This topic you've brought up is about as relevant as the outskirts of Topeka or Lansing... basically a zone of special government concern. It's not like any woman said anything terrible to you, so I'm assuming you're just making up complaints because you want to be nominated for moderator again.

If you could see past the end of your own nose, you'd realize that's NOT how moderators are chosen—you'd need to be a long-time contributor with thousands of posts like 🤣

Go take a nap, and maybe come back once velvettrucker52 finishes rearranging the kids' room and actually has some free time... perhaps then your little complaint will gain traction and Kate Foster12 will nominate you for mod.😬

Good grief, this is worth watching—honestly, you've been getting on my nerves for a year and a half now... finally, an opportunity.😁

I’d go with the Guild and Rural... 🙂

Kate Foster12 Asks:
Because of this kind of communication—and frankly, this behavior—we recently had a total meltdown over at the PŽK. Is anyone actually surprised?

No—it’s because of the unequal treatment.
This kind of back-and-forth is perfectly normal—until the moderators decide to step in and ruin everything.

It’s nice to see you stepped up as a moderator—though, to be honest, I haven't really caught sight of you over on the ZK lately.

🤣

stormyraven14 said:Ace, you’re honestly just so irritating and arrogant in how you carry yourself—acting like there isn't a single soul around you (which explains why nobody even knows who Paul Morales3 is)—that it’s really no wonder the mods have to read your posts with extra caution. This topic you've brought up is about as relevant as the outskirts of Topeka or Lansing... basically a zone of special government concern. It's not like any woman said anything terrible to you, so I'm assuming you're just making up complaints because you want to be nominated for moderator again.

If you could see past the end of your own nose, you'd realize that's NOT how moderators are chosen—you'd need to be a long-time contributor with thousands of posts like 🤣

Go take a nap, and maybe come back once velvettrucker52 finishes rearranging the kids' room and actually has some free time... perhaps then your little complaint will gain traction and Kate Foster12 will nominate you for mod.😬

Good grief, this is worth watching—honestly, you've been getting on my nerves for a year and a half now... finally, an opportunity.😁

No 😲
I am never going to be a moderator 🙂 😢

Steven Reed said:No 😲
I am never going to be a moderator 🙂 😢

well, maybe you will 😁
:namig: :jamesbond: 🤣

Kate Foster12 said:It’s exactly this kind of communication and behavior that caused those scenes we had on the PŽK recently.

Congrats on becoming a moderator—though I didn't really notice you over on ZK—but that doesn't give you a license to act entitled or do whatever you want. Tone it down. Soften your approach... even velvettrucker52 doesn't pull an act like this.

They're just waiting for the thread to die.

Honestly, that's exactly how it goes.🙂

Looks like you guys have cluttered up this thread again. 🙄

I'm locking this one down. ☕

😳

But seriously, guys. First off, I need a supermod to weigh in here—I’m definitely not ignoring you! Plus, I had to work through the weekend, so I was totally out of the loop. Just from what I can see at first glance, it doesn't look like the moderator wrote anything that actually violates our ZK guidelines. There aren't any specific, extra-strict rules on how one becomes a mod, but we’ll dive deeper into exactly what happened once we look into the details. 🙂

I honestly don't buy this explanation. I can only imagine what would happen over at Comparison Policy if the mods actually allowed people to go after each other personally—though even there, you catch one mod slipping up once in a blue moon.🙂

The moderators are supposed to be the ones keeping things civil and de-escalating tension—giving everyone a sense of security on the forum. If someone keeps breaking the rules, they get the cards, the points... everything stays orderly.

Honestly, my first impression? The moderator comes off as super condescending.

The only person I’ve actually seen treat forum members with any real respect isScotsman lately.
If everyone just acted like him, this place wouldn't be such a headache.

p.s. And yeah, I'm being totally unbiased here.☕

Or they could just try using some kind of 👍 behind every sentence—that way, even when they slide into your DMs, they can act all friendly enough🤣

Yeah, it’s classic ZK and Comparison Policy. (well, except for that one 🤣 instance)

The moderation criteria over at ZK are so incredibly vague that I honestly tip my hat to anyone who can actually stomach their mods. It’s all very "trolling is fine, just don't go overboard" or "insults are okay, but stay within reason." Where exactly is the line? Is it a nudge, a shove, or a punch to the gut? Nobody knows. 😕

As for this specific situation, both parties were being equally shady, which is pretty much par for the course at ZK—regardless of the fact that one of them holds a moderator title. I don't get why everyone is making such a massive fuss over this, acting like we're dealing with some high-stakes drama over at Reddit. 🙄