Topic of the day: Would you rather cheat or be cheated on?

There’s a joke about this topic.

A fugitive breaks into a young couple's house.
He ties them up—shoves some rags into their mouths to keep them quiet.
He starts salivating over the wife, whispers something in her ear, and heads into the bathroom.

The husband manages to spit out his gag first and whispers to his wife...

"Honey, this guy clearly spent years behind bars. He hasn't been with a woman in forever.
I saw how much he was eyeing you.
Just stay calm and don't struggle; I'm sure he'll be quick about it."

By then, the wife has also managed to get the rag out of her mouth, and she replies...
"Darling, the man is definitely turned on, but it isn't because of me—he's gay.
He asked if we had any Vaseline, so I pointed him toward the bathroom.
He'll be back any second.
Just stay calm and don't struggle; I'm sure he'll be quick about it."
😬

Regarding the topic of the day...🤣

Quincy:>>

Tyler Durden says: >> Any other female response would just be a lie.😳 Sent from my iPhone

Unsatisfied women.😲

Rachel Richardson said:But what about the actual experience...?🍿

Is there a story out there where someone actually experienced the end of the world—and realistically, they probably should have?🤔

Nobody has actually said anything like that.
Are you seriously suggesting a scam should be the end of the world? 🍿

Rachel Richardson said:But what about the actual experience...?🍿

Is there a story out there where someone actually experienced the end of the world—and realistically, they probably should have?🤔

Even when faced with a direct question, most people want to offer an answer. It shows a certain selflessness, doesn't it? It implies at least a little less suffering for the other person.😬

I don't really expect anyone to share confessions or personal stories here regarding this topic. People only open up when they feel like it.🙂

Adam Moore12 said:It's interesting how your perspective shifts. One day, you're deep into the idea that the erotic aspect gets exhausted in long-term relationships, and the next, you look at the world around you and conclude that most people are just inherently jealous because of that same erotic drive.

What exactly are you seeing out there? This whole "eros" thing is a moving target! One minute it's there, the next it's gone. ^^

I have to agree with his point about the erotic aspect regarding "men." He’s spot on. Most men can’t even wrap their heads around the idea of their partner being sexual with someone else.

For a man, that’s the ultimate ego hit—realizing someone else was in his territory.
The emotional side, or what feralranger calls philia, isn't as prominent for men in those moments. Basically, any friendly feelings he had just vanish from his perspective. Maybe that doesn't make perfect sense.

The issue with feralranger on this topic is that he doesn't seem to grasp that in any marriage or relationship, both elements are inseparable. A marriage or a partnership simply doesn't function without both philia and eros.
You need both components for it to actually work.

fadedcobra7 said:Nobody has actually said anything like that.
Are you seriously suggesting a scam should be the end of the world? 🍿

Drama aside—in certain contexts, it absolutely is.
I mean, the betrayal itself—plus the subsequent pain...

Anthony Martin2 said:Even when faced with a direct question, most people want to offer an answer. It shows a certain selflessness, doesn't it? It implies at least a little less suffering for the other person.😬

I don't really expect anyone to share confessions or personal stories here regarding this topic. People only open up when they feel like it.🙂

True—it is a delicate subject.

Rachel Price6 said:I have to agree with his point about the erotic aspect regarding "men." He’s spot on. Most men can’t even wrap their heads around the idea of their partner being sexual with someone else.

For a man, that’s the ultimate ego hit—realizing someone else was in his territory.
The emotional side, or what feralranger calls philia, isn't as prominent for men in those moments. Basically, any friendly feelings he had just vanish from his perspective. Maybe that doesn't make perfect sense.

The issue with feralranger on this topic is that he doesn't seem to grasp that in any marriage or relationship, both elements are inseparable. A marriage or a partnership simply doesn't function without both philia and eros.
You need both components for it to actually work.

And where on earth are you getting that from? You seem to be implying that I am denying this, which I assure you, I most certainly am not. Of course both elements are required.

My point was merely that jealousy tends to manifest more intensely in men within the sexual sphere, whereas in women, it leans toward the emotional side—which, quite frankly, explains why we see those differing perspectives on what actually constitutes "infidelity." This is an observation of my own, and it is further supported by the research. (Though, naturally, as with almost everything in life, there are outliers, albeit they remain the minority).

feralranger said:And where on earth are you getting that from? You seem to be implying that I am denying this, which I assure you, I most certainly am not. Of course both elements are required.

My point was merely that jealousy tends to manifest more intensely in men within the sexual sphere, whereas in women, it leans toward the emotional side—which, quite frankly, explains why we see those differing perspectives on what actually constitutes "infidelity." This is an observation of my own, and it is further supported by the research. (Though, naturally, as with almost everything in life, there are outliers, albeit they remain the minority).

I'm with you on the idea that male jealousy is primarily sexual.

You've repeated this thousand times about there being two spheres. You constantly separate Eros from philia, treating philia like some kind of advantage in your examples.
You can't compare philia between friends to philia within a romantic relationship.

Sex is the catalyst (your Eros) that allows philia to develop and leads a couple into a really solid bond.

In a friendship, the Eros factor isn't there. So, naturally, there's no jealousy in that kind of setup.

We all get it, so there's no need to keep hammering the same point over and over.

We're adults, not kids in a classroom. At least I'm not—I'm practically ready for retirement.🤣

Rachel Price6 said:I'm with you on the idea that male jealousy is primarily sexual.

You've repeated this thousand times about there being two spheres. You constantly separate Eros from philia, treating philia like some kind of advantage in your examples.
You can't compare philia between friends to philia within a romantic relationship.

Sex is the catalyst (your Eros) that allows philia to develop and leads a couple into a really solid bond.

In a friendship, the Eros factor isn't there. So, naturally, there's no jealousy in that kind of setup.

We all get it, so there's no need to keep hammering the same point over and over.

We're adults, not kids in a classroom. At least I'm not—I'm practically ready for retirement.🤣

Well, they do exist. And while it is true that I do not conflate them, nowhere in my writing do I suggest that one isn't necessary alongside the other. Please try reading with a modicum of actual comprehension so you don't go implying things that simply do not exist in my posts; frankly, I have no desire to repeat myself if everyone would just learn how to read properly.

feralranger said:Well, they do exist. And while it is true that I do not conflate them, nowhere in my writing do I suggest that one isn't necessary alongside the other. Please try reading with a modicum of actual comprehension so you don't go implying things that simply do not exist in my posts; frankly, I have no desire to repeat myself if everyone would just learn how to read properly.

Look, I've dealt with Saugaro and his constant need to back everything up with a mountain of logic.
I don't need another Saugaro in my life. If you don't like how I write, just skip it. I know your routine by heart. If anyone is going to make implications here, it's me.
You keep labeling friendship as philia and sex as Eros.

You used your own philia for one girl versus your Eros for another as an example.
That "philia" you have for your friend actually messed up your sexual relationship with the girl you're sleeping with. Obviously, women aren't thrilled when you love one person but sleep with someone else.

I'd call that emotional and physical cheating.

If that isn't a separation of the two, then I'm as clueless as a broken compass.

When one fails to engage with reading comprehension, the inevitable result is a series of sprawling, distorted interpretations that bear absolutely no resemblance to my actual points. You are essentially projecting intentions onto me that I never possessed, nor did I ever articulate them in the manner you’ve decided to interpret them.

I am certainly not following your lead by attempting to plant false ideas in your head, yet that is precisely what you are doing to me. It would be quite civil of you to cease this behavior immediately.

That specific example wasn't intended to serve as some sort of "gold standard" for communication (and, for the record, my relationship with that girl at the time was hardly reducible to mere physical intimacy nor did I suggest anywhere that it was); it was simply a candid illustration of how things actually were.

Sure, I'll stop baiting right now. I'm not quite foolish enough to waste my time trying to prove something that’s already obvious over thousands of pages.
Goodnight.

Rachel Price6 said:Sure, I'll stop baiting right now. I'm not quite foolish enough to waste my time trying to prove something that’s already obvious over thousands of pages.
Goodnight.

It appears you are quite fond of extensively interpreting your own examples rather than anyone else's... because once you start twisting someone else's logic, we have moved past debate and straight into the most pedestrian form of sophistry through blatant misinterpretation.

I'm starting to sort through some potential Usovska items, so I figured this one should be first on the list. 😁

Actually, I get the feeling the question in the title is a bit more complicated than it looks at first glance, so... maybe if anyone has anything to add. 😁

Changed my mind. It doesn't matter.

Ashley Vaughn79 said:I'm starting to sort through some potential Usovska items, so I figured this one should be first on the list. 😁

Actually, I get the feeling the question in the title is a bit more complicated than it looks at first glance, so... maybe if anyone has anything to add. 😁

Conscience

One could discuss this subject at length, yet it always seems to circle back to the same fundamental starting point...

Ashley Vaughn79 said:I'm starting to sort through some potential Usovska items, so I figured this one should be first on the list. 😁

Actually, I get the feeling the question in the title is a bit more complicated than it looks at first glance, so... maybe if anyone has anything to add. 😁

The question itself is kind of pointless. Because saying something "shows who someone is"...
In reality, it shows nothing.
Theory is one thing; real life is another.
Life isn't black and white, and neither are decisions or people—nobody is just purely good or purely evil.
At the end of the day, one situation doesn't rule out the other.
Plus, there's a massive gap between actually living through something and just talking about it from the sidelines.

A real question would be: which is harder, being left behind or doing the leaving?
Is it tougher when the person you love doesn't love you back, or when you realize you've stopped loving someone you're supposed to?

And even then, there wouldn't be an answer, because both options suck.

Joseph Rivera75 said:The question itself is kind of pointless. Because saying something "shows who someone is"...
In reality, it shows nothing.
Theory is one thing; real life is another.
Life isn't black and white, and neither are decisions or people—nobody is just purely good or purely evil.
At the end of the day, one situation doesn't rule out the other.
Plus, there's a massive gap between actually living through something and just talking about it from the sidelines.

A real question would be: which is harder, being left behind or doing the leaving?
Is it tougher when the person you love doesn't love you back, or when you realize you've stopped loving someone you're supposed to?

And even then, there wouldn't be an answer, because both options suck.

I’ve never been the one left behind; I’ve always been the one walking away.

There is zero logic in loving someone who doesn't return the feeling—it's clear their priorities are completely skewed.🙂😬
That part about falling out of love—that slow fading of affection—is painful, certainly.🕺

And the question basically boils down to this: would you rather be loaded or broke?

Brandon Foster7 said:And the question basically boils down to this: would you rather be loaded or broke?

Would you prefer seventy years of luxury or just seven days of absolute misery? 🍿

Usually, when people answer a question like that, you can tell pretty quickly if they actually have money in the bank right now. 🧐