Topic of the day: Would you rather cheat or be cheated on?

Charles Johnson18 said:The question itself is fundamentally stupid, aside from those religious zealots who would probably start lighting bonfires over this. It’s not the same thing. Being cheated on by someone you actually enjoy being with isn't the same as cheating on someone who systematically neglects you, rejects your intimacy, and denies you any affection—compared to someone truly devoted to you. Honestly, it's a waste of breath. Nothing in life is black and white, unless you're a teenager or some academic theorist with zero real-world experience.

It goes deeper than that.

Let's look at these responses—it's essentially a binary system built on a flawed premise from the jump (like being asked if your mother knows you're a lesbian, for instance).

Who's going to say they'd rather be the one cheating?
Maybe someone doing it out of pure spite, or someone who simply prioritizes their own ego above all else.
Or perhaps an egocentric loner who couldn't care less about anyone else's feelings?

And who would say they'd rather be the victim of infidelity?
There’s even a bit of a perceived moral high ground there—since, technically, you haven't done anything wrong yet—but...
It assumes bad choices were made and leads directly into playing the victim.

coastalwalker9 said:Spreading the love. 🙂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

You're finally back on your feet!!!!!!!

Patrick Reed51 said:You're finally back on your feet!!!!!!!

I am feeling slightly better, yes 😬

Rachel Richardson said:It goes deeper than that.

Let's look at these responses—it's essentially a binary system built on a flawed premise from the jump (like being asked if your mother knows you're a lesbian, for instance).

Who's going to say they'd rather be the one cheating?
Maybe someone doing it out of pure spite, or someone who simply prioritizes their own ego above all else.
Or perhaps an egocentric loner who couldn't care less about anyone else's feelings?

And who would say they'd rather be the victim of infidelity?
There’s even a bit of a perceived moral high ground there—since, technically, you haven't done anything wrong yet—but...
It assumes bad choices were made and leads directly into playing the victim.

I think this topic of the day is great. You get to see how people actually think, what they value, and how honest they really are with themselves and everyone else. It’s like a logic puzzle where there isn't one "correct" answer. You just watch how someone navigates the situation and where they choose to start solving it. 😉

fadedcobra7 said:Look, if you ask me, you're just overthinking it. Theory is one thing, but reality is a whole different beast.

You’d think anyone would be happy if their partner decided to "go out and spread the love." 😬

But did I ever actually suggest anything of the sort? Of course not. Perhaps if people practiced a modicum of reading comprehension, they wouldn't feel the need to attribute such wildly inaccurate sentiments to me.

fadedcobra7 said:I think this topic of the day is great. You get to see how people actually think, what they value, and how honest they really are with themselves and everyone else. It’s like a logic puzzle where there isn't one "correct" answer. You just watch how someone navigates the situation and where they choose to start solving it. 😉

It’s pretty hard for anyone here to actually catch me off guard 🤣

feralranger said:...well, we find ourselves circling back to this issue simply because some people lack basic discernment. It’s quite similar to when you attempt to provide someone with fundamental mathematical instructions; the problem lies in the fact that certain individuals fail to grasp the glaringly obvious distinction between erotic love and philia within the Homo sapiens sapiens species.

In the sphere of philia, most people aren't prone to jealousy or possessiveness—> for the most part, they don't insist on a monopoly over their partner.

In the erotic sphere, however, most people are inherently jealous and exclusive—> they generally demand a strictly 'monogamous' arrangement.

It isn't truly a matter of "complex mathematics," yet somehow, it remains an impossibly complicated concept for some.

If you want to get technical, there are four types of love.

You seem pretty hung up on that whole hippie/artistic vibe—hey, if that's how you want to play it, fine.

There are actually 9 of them.^^.

And there are four different kinds of luck. 🧐

Both of them being Sisyphus 😁.

Which one of them are we supposed to imagine being happy? 🤔

fadedcobra7 said:Even my girlfriend was like, "Let's ring in New Year's together." We make all these plans, get everything lined up, and then she just flakes on me to hit up some party with someone else? Honestly, I’d lose my mind.

It’s the exact same thing if a partner says, "I'm going to open up my inner world to you and we'll have this deep, exclusive connection," only to go out to some random bar, come home, and act like nothing ever happened. They didn't share anything.

This isn't about being jealous. It's about broken promises, betrayal, and straight-up lying.

👍
Boldano is a total scam.
Every single relationship—whether it’s just friends, family, or romantic—needs to be a two-way street. At the end of the day, trust is the ultimate MVP in any connection.
We trust people because there’s really no reason not to—at least not until that trust gets completely burned.

Betrayal is always the worst way to go.

I think I could honestly be described in just a few words.

Mavis Brambell

I’ve always preferred being the one who gets fooled over being the one doing the fooling. I’d much rather look naive than be cold-blooded.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Which one of them are we supposed to imagine being happy? 🤔

This 😁.
Albert's isn't even close 😁.

Thomas Nelson25 said:If you want to get technical, there are four types of love.

You seem pretty hung up on that whole hippie/artistic vibe—hey, if that's how you want to play it, fine.

I am well aware of the various classifications out there... however, for instance, the concept of 'agape' implies a certain dualism, a distinction I simply don't subscribe to... within a non-dualistic framework, 'agape' actually falls under that non-Erotic spectrum, much like the philia category...

Is it just me, or is jealousy actually an expected reaction to infidelity? It’s such a strange mix—lingering love and even a sense of longing for what used to be, all tangled up with betrayal, heartbreak, and pure rage. How can someone take away something that belonged only to us? Ours.It’s just for the two of us. Of course, it's only a passing feeling. It's human, isn't it? I'm not talking about that pathological jealousy that takes over and controls everything.
I suspect there is a complex mix of emotions at play here. Beyond the sting of betrayal, aren't some of those feelings perhaps a bit less than noble?🤔

coastalwalker9 said:The question itself is quite straightforward. It's just that any attempt at an answer seems to stretch out indefinitely in every direction. All that is required is a simple choice between A or B, along with a brief explanation as to why. ☕

It isn't a simple question. There are endless ways to deceive others or be deceived, along with countless scenarios of how it all unfolds. Not everyone is equally malicious, after all. I make my own choices regarding what I'll tolerate in my real life, but I refuse to make those decisions for anyone else. Can any outcome truly be considered "better"? It all depends on us and the circumstances at hand. I simply cannot blindly choose the lesser of two evils, whether for myself or for someone else.

feralranger, they might’ve won the battle, but they sure haven't won the war... I'm riding with you, don't let 'em get to you...

It’s gotta rain tonight. 🙂

🤣
Alright!

Anthony Martin2 said:Is it just me, or is jealousy actually an expected reaction to infidelity? It’s such a strange mix—lingering love and even a sense of longing for what used to be, all tangled up with betrayal, heartbreak, and pure rage. How can someone take away something that belonged only to us? Ours.It’s just for the two of us. Of course, it's only a passing feeling. It's human, isn't it? I'm not talking about that pathological jealousy that takes over and controls everything.
I suspect there is a complex mix of emotions at play here. Beyond the sting of betrayal, aren't some of those feelings perhaps a bit less than noble?🤔

It isn't a simple question. There are endless ways to deceive others or be deceived, along with countless scenarios of how it all unfolds. Not everyone is equally malicious, after all. I make my own choices regarding what I'll tolerate in my real life, but I refuse to make those decisions for anyone else. Can any outcome truly be considered "better"? It all depends on us and the circumstances at hand. I simply cannot blindly choose the lesser of two evils, whether for myself or for someone else.

The specifics don't even matter.
The main point is that rejecting one option doesn't automatically mean choosing another.
If the OP had asked, "Imagine you're in a relationship where one person cheats and the other gets cheated on—which role would you choose?" that would be a totally different conversation.
I haven't cheated, and I haven't been cheated on.
So, cheating means absolutely nothing to me.