Topic of the day: Do you know anyone who has undergone a complete personality makeover?

Nicholas Bailey3 said:Agreed. After 20 years, nobody cares about your regrets, your "character," or how much you've changed once the stakes are high enough.
Especially since, interestingly enough, this sudden "change" always seems to happen right after their power has vanished out the window. I wouldn't call it a transformation—more like a weakling adapting to doing exactly what they've done their whole life: following the rules. ☕
You have some sharp insights...

Unfortunately, I have a little bit of firsthand experience with this topic of the day—and honestly, just looking around, I see how easily families get torn apart by senseless addictions or people with weak willpower, regardless of whether they're men or women. It's the kids who end up paying the price.

The only thing you can really learn from people like that is how *not* to be them—how to stay grounded so you don't just get swept away by the current.

Rachel Richardson said:Not quite.
Most people here change at a glacial pace—it’s just how things work. 🤔

👍
I'm seeing the same thing—it looks like displaced aggression is at play here.

A picture is worth a thousand words. 🤣
Any other good costume suggestions? 😁

A massive shift—it requires a significant catalyst, some kind of major upheaval in one's circumstances.
Take those stories about girls who completely lose their minds after moving from small towns to a place like New York City—it’s actually pretty logical.
A different environment—more freedom...

👍

@Matthew Castillo5, he's speaking nothing but the truth—poor guy. 😲
Personally, I believe the worst thing that can happen to anyone in this life is losing a child. 🙂

Were you actually pulling birth charts, or just reading about them on some forum? 🍿

I posted mine quite a while ago—it’s probably "expired" by now. I don't spend a ton of time reading through everything; that's not really my style. I mainly wanted to try and "figure myself out" without having to sit down with a psychologist.😁

Dennis Bennett28 said:Usually, people like that only reach out for help when things start affecting their own bottom line or when they hit a physical breaking point—if they even bother at all. Honestly, I’d be pretty skeptical about any "reformed" individual who has twenty years of bad habits baked into their system.

To me, actual character would be someone who realizes they’ve been acting like an idiot after a short period of reflection, but not someone who spent years taking their frustrations out on children. No matter how much therapy they do later, that lack of core integrity stays with you.

Real character—the kind that actually matters—would be the person who, despite having a genetic predisposition toward it, doesn't touch a drop of alcohol. (Though, I suppose whether that counts as "character" or just discipline is its own debate.)

That kind of strength is built incrementally. You have to change one major thing first to prove to yourself that you can actually do it; once that's settled, everything else becomes much easier. But make no mistake—sticking to a decision requires real character.

Dennis Bennett28 said:Unfortunately, I have a little bit of firsthand experience with this topic of the day—and honestly, just looking around, I see how easily families get torn apart by senseless addictions or people with weak willpower, regardless of whether they're men or women. It's the kids who end up paying the price.

The only thing you can really learn from people like that is how *not* to be them—how to stay grounded so you don't just get swept away by the current.

I posted mine quite a while ago—it’s probably "expired" by now. I don't spend a ton of time reading through everything; that's not really my style. I mainly wanted to try and "figure myself out" without having to sit down with a psychologist.😁

Is that really an effective way to go about self-disclosure?
I have the ability to wire—does that sound interesting? 🍿

stormyheron9 said:That kind of strength is built incrementally. You have to change one major thing first to prove to yourself that you can actually do it; once that's settled, everything else becomes much easier. But make no mistake—sticking to a decision requires real character.

Exactly.
Major shifts don't happen overnight—they aren't like a sudden thunderstorm. Usually, change is subtle—small, incremental, almost imperceptible.
They aren't far off...

Ashley Vaughn79 said:May 19th. Do you know anyone who has undergone a drastic change in character or behavior, almost as if they became a completely different person?

Actually, I do know someone like that.

A few years back, I worked with a girl... she was quiet, timid, and you could tell just by her face and body language how insecure she was, though she was genuinely kind.
No makeup, nothing colorful in her wardrobe... she was always in black.

And then it happened... I'm not even sure exactly what triggered it. 😁
She worked on herself and changed over those couple of years we were friends... but then that change went way too far.
From an insecure, shy girl, she suddenly became incredibly self-centered and—frankly—arrogant. 😕

One sunny day, we were sitting in Central Park when a plus-sized woman walked past us.
And this girl, not even five or six seconds in, goes "I’d be too embarrassed to wear white pants, but look at how much butt she has."

Man, if I didn't nearly fall over right then, I never would have. 🤣

I told her she didn't know anything about the woman who just passed us, and that maybe just a few weeks ago that woman had a much bigger butt and might actually be really attractive now.
I mean, you can't really know.
You shouldn't talk about random people passing by like that.
It's just ugly.

And honestly... I kept thinking about that girl for a long time afterward and how things turned out that way.
From being quiet and unsure to becoming so (almost) toxic and conceited.

That was my example and the first person I thought of for this question.
Feel free to share yours; I bet most of us will associate this question with someone in our own circles. 🙂

Thanks to anonymous 🙂 for the suggestion.

______________________________________________
This thread was spun off from 54. post from the topic of the day.

Did you actually know everything she was going through? If you say she was withdrawn, my guess is she just wasn't talking about her private life.
It’s incredibly easy for someone to reach a breaking point where they just stop giving a damn about being "polite" or "classy."

About 10 or 11 years ago, I was much more introverted, naive, quiet, and laid back myself. Since then, I've changed—not necessarily for the better, mind you. For instance, now I'm pretty cynical and I generally have a much darker outlook on life and people in general...

Rachel Richardson said:Is that really an effective way to go about self-disclosure?
I have the ability to wire—does that sound interesting? 🍿

Exactly.
Major shifts don't happen overnight—they aren't like a sudden thunderstorm. Usually, change is subtle—small, incremental, almost imperceptible.
They aren't far off...

Five years ago versus now—I am two completely different people.

I’ve cut out almost all the negativity and walked away from everything bad.

Once enough time passes, those new habits become second nature. I don't even think about going back to my old ways because they don't fit me anymore; the version of myself I worked toward is simply better.

I was feeling pretty damn proud of myself—thinking I’d finally reached that level of unshakable resilience where absolutely nothing can rattle me—when my boss decided to drop a critique about one of my recent slip-ups. To make matters worse, she had to bring up how a former colleague from fifteen years ago noticed the exact same thing 😬
I'm basically invincible 🙂

Honestly, I wish her comment had just been: "Honey, what happened to you? You weren't always like this..."

I’m not sure if high school or those early college years count toward this.

It happened quite a bit back in high school.
You’d have these quiet girls—totally into poetry, super intellectual, top of their class, perfectly behaved—and then suddenly, they’d transform into these edgy rebels who were drinking, smoking, swearing, and dressing like they walked off a punk rock stage... We all stood there wondering how that was even possible, what could have triggered it? With the guys, it wasn't usually such a sudden jump; it felt more like a slow burn... but for the girls, it usually just took one summer break...

That kind of rapid personality shift also used to happen during basic training. You’d see guys change completely within a single month. But again, these abrupt transformations were always limited to the younger crowd—teenagers or people in their early 20s. Once you get older, you just don't undergo these kinds of sudden shifts anymore...

Honestly, I don't know a single person over the age of 20-something who has ever fundamentally changed like that.

nimblemarlin6 said:I’m not sure if high school or those early college years count toward this.

It happened quite a bit back in high school.
You’d have these quiet girls—totally into poetry, super intellectual, top of their class, perfectly behaved—and then suddenly, they’d transform into these edgy rebels who were drinking, smoking, swearing, and dressing like they walked off a punk rock stage... We all stood there wondering how that was even possible, what could have triggered it? With the guys, it wasn't usually such a sudden jump; it felt more like a slow burn... but for the girls, it usually just took one summer break...

That kind of rapid personality shift also used to happen during basic training. You’d see guys change completely within a single month. But again, these abrupt transformations were always limited to the younger crowd—teenagers or people in their early 20s. Once you get older, you just don't undergo these kinds of sudden shifts anymore...

Honestly, I don't know a single person over the age of 20-something who has ever fundamentally changed like that.

To me, this is just creepy 😁

I’ve known quite a few women who underwent a complete metamorphosis after becoming mothers, spanning ages from 19 up into their 30s.
They used to be the type to live for the nightlife, dabbling in certain substances and drifting through life without much direction—skeptical of marriage or settling down, just living in the moment. Then, an unplanned pregnancy happens, and suddenly everything shifts; the child becomes the absolute center of their universe. They lose interest in the partners they were with, focusing entirely on the baby, and they generally become much more subdued and settled.

It’s also something I’ve noticed regarding family dynamics; people can drift away from their relatives. Given how many traumatic events have occurred, and knowing that a few people have certainly dealt with nervous breakdowns, it makes sense that they would change. However, since I didn't know these individuals before those turning points, I can't really speak to who they were originally, other than what I've heard in passing.

Morgan Newman7 said:Honestly, the weirdest part of this whole thing is the sister. She had a second kid with her husband, yet they’re still living separately?

It’s the same old story—mother-in-law drama and constant friction. The point should be simple: don't move in with in-laws. Most of the time, trying to share a roof just leads to massive blowouts or divorce, and it totally kills the relationship. But hey, that’s more of a topic of the day for Zud...

Yeah, the sister is definitely acting strange. They actually lived together again for a few months when they had that second child. And thank God they did, because that nephew of mine is such a massive source of support for me—just like I am for him. He's a truly wonderful little soul.

Honestly, you can't really expect much change until people hit their mid-twenties and let those hormones settle down—and even then, you see guys in their forties still figuring it out. 😛

From everyone I’ve known, the biggest transformations usually come from people who have been hit hard by a serious illness or a major life crisis. Then there's that one narcissistic alcoholic I know who is suddenly dead-set on getting married; he just pivots to whatever new interest catches his eye to stay relevant. Recently, he actually evolved from being this clumsy romantic into a total "self-help guru" type.
Most regular, everyday people just decide to change their diet or hit the gym after New Year's, only to fall right back into their old habits after about fifteen days. 🙂

stormyheron9 said:Five years ago versus now—I am two completely different people.

I’ve cut out almost all the negativity and walked away from everything bad.

Once enough time passes, those new habits become second nature. I don't even think about going back to my old ways because they don't fit me anymore; the version of myself I worked toward is simply better.

This is excellent. 👍

Matthew Castillo5 said:Yeah, the sister is definitely acting strange. They actually lived together again for a few months when they had that second child. And thank God they did, because that nephew of mine is such a massive source of support for me—just like I am for him. He's a truly wonderful little soul.

Every child represents an entirely new world. 👍

Gerald Gomez43 said:I’ve known quite a few women who underwent a complete metamorphosis after becoming mothers, spanning ages from 19 up into their 30s.
They used to be the type to live for the nightlife, dabbling in certain substances and drifting through life without much direction—skeptical of marriage or settling down, just living in the moment. Then, an unplanned pregnancy happens, and suddenly everything shifts; the child becomes the absolute center of their universe. They lose interest in the partners they were with, focusing entirely on the baby, and they generally become much more subdued and settled.

It’s also something I’ve noticed regarding family dynamics; people can drift away from their relatives. Given how many traumatic events have occurred, and knowing that a few people have certainly dealt with nervous breakdowns, it makes sense that they would change. However, since I didn't know these individuals before those turning points, I can't really speak to who they were originally, other than what I've heard in passing.

It seems to me that once women become mothers, they are essentially treated as if they no longer exist as individuals. 😁
It really comes down to one thing—simply having an excess of hormones in the system. 😬

Well, aside from those dealing with PTSD or other psychological shifts, I don't really know anyone else (+25 years)🤣

Gerald Gomez43 said:Well, aside from those dealing with PTSD or other psychological shifts, I don't really know anyone else (+25 years)🤣

You're right—the options have become far too narrow.🤣

Looking at it from a certain angle, yeah. I mean, the causes are strictly down to those individuals' own struggles with illness, or maybe just some tragedy or suicide attempt happening nearby.

As for someone actually changing their core character for the better on their own? I don't think so. Not really.

Now, I’m not counting major career shifts here—I’ve seen plenty of folks jump from totally different fields straight into the ministry, but they always claim they were meant for it all along, so I won't count those as real changes. And I'm not talking about people getting sober, either; while that's huge, I don't necessarily link overcoming an addiction to a fundamental shift in someone's actual character.

Goodness, you all have just completely extinguished my hopes of turning over a new leaf before I even had a chance to begin! I was truly looking forward to embracing a more open lifestyle, getting out more often, finding a sense of freedom, and exploring all sorts of new possibilities

placidbadger17 said:Goodness, you all have just completely extinguished my hopes of turning over a new leaf before I even had a chance to begin! I was truly looking forward to embracing a more open lifestyle, getting out more often, finding a sense of freedom, and exploring all sorts of new possibilities

You can always change.

Nobody likes someone who stays too closed off; people generally find those who are more cheerful much easier to talk to. It’s the same for me, both with men and women. When it comes to participating in conversations, I personally prefer saying as little as possible. You just have to step slightly outside your comfort zone at first—I know it feels awkward, but you have to do it.

stormyheron9 said:You can always change.

Nobody likes someone who stays too closed off; people generally find those who are more cheerful much easier to talk to. It’s the same for me, both with men and women. When it comes to participating in conversations, I personally prefer saying as little as possible. You just have to step slightly outside your comfort zone at first—I know it feels awkward, but you have to do it.

I am fully aware that I need to take that step, because if I don't, I fear I might actually lose my mind—if I haven't already!

In theory, you could overhaul your entire personality overnight.
There isn't actually anything stopping you from doing it.
Sure, nobody ever really pulls it off—not consistently, anyway—but it’s possible. It really is.

nimblemarlin6 said:In theory, you could overhaul your entire personality overnight.
There isn't actually anything stopping you from doing it.
Sure, nobody ever really pulls it off—not consistently, anyway—but it’s possible. It really is.

So, you suddenly pivot from dating Black women to exclusively blondes? 😁
What would even drive a person to make a shift like that? 🍿