Topic of the day: Do you know anyone who has undergone a complete personality makeover?

nimblemarlin6 said:In theory, you could overhaul your entire personality overnight.
There isn't actually anything stopping you from doing it.
Sure, nobody ever really pulls it off—not consistently, anyway—but it’s possible. It really is.

If you stick to new habits long enough, they stop being "new" and just become your new normal. Then you can judge for yourself whether the upgrade was worth it or if the old ways were better. You just have to be persistent. Nothing happens overnight, obviously. But the key is genuine desire. If someone truly wants this, after a significant amount of time—we aren't talking six months, we mean much longer—it becomes their standard way of operating.

Rachel Richardson said:So, you suddenly pivot from dating Black women to exclusively blondes? 😁
What would even drive a person to make a shift like that? 🍿

One guy on here mentioned he wasn't exactly thrilled with his own personality.

He wants to—well, "become more outgoing, get out more, break free from his shell," and all that jazz.

Look, if that's the case, I honestly think you can change your whole vibe right this second.
There’s this persistent myth floating around about the necessity of being "true to yourself." But honestly? It's just a myth...

stormyheron9 said:If you stick to new habits long enough, they stop being "new" and just become your new normal. Then you can judge for yourself whether the upgrade was worth it or if the old ways were better. You just have to be persistent. Nothing happens overnight, obviously. But the key is genuine desire. If someone truly wants this, after a significant amount of time—we aren't talking six months, we mean much longer—it becomes their standard way of operating.

Oh, it can happen immediately!
There's just no time for this slow, patient, step-by-step approach.
No, time is ticking away. It has to be right now! 👍

Sure, it can happen. People can jump right in or take things slow, but I wonder how many people actually follow through with that? Or is it just more of those cases where someone grabs something from abroad and tosses it out without a second thought?

Exactly. If you realize the benefits today, don't wait—just dive in right now. That whole "I'll start on Monday" mentality? It never works. By the time Monday rolls around, you’ve already lost the momentum. Sure, you have to be disciplined and stay focused at the beginning, but eventually, it just becomes second nature. Even if you slip up a few times, it doesn't matter; you just get back on track. It’s actually much easier to stick with it once you start seeing results. The critical part is pushing through that initial phase until those benefits become visible. It's exhausting when you're putting in the work and seeing absolutely nothing to show for it. You're left wondering if it's even worth it. And honestly, if a new venture feels like it has more downsides than upsides after you've given it a shot, it's probably best to just call it quits.

I mean, you can always do it, I guess... once you’ve messed up enough, or hurt people, or lost everything—even lost someone dear—you might finally decide to just sit back and look inward at why everything went sideways in the first place. But man, it is such a massive struggle to actually go against your own ego and admit, "Hey, I might be wrong here, maybe my perspective is totally skewed"... it's incredibly hard. Seriously, give it a shot sometime. It’s always so much easier to just point fingers at everyone else, shift all the blame onto them, and tell yourself you’re 100% right. That's just how it goes, life happens, and sometimes you change so much that you don't even recognize yourself anymore, and that old version of you is just gone. It takes a whole lot of courage to own up to it and try to find your way back to who you used to be...

Alright then...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Example_link

Hey, I'm curious—what actually defines someone's character?

https://velikirecnik.com/2016/09/14/karakter/

swiftgull4 said:I mean, you can always do it, I guess... once you’ve messed up enough, or hurt people, or lost everything—even lost someone dear—you might finally decide to just sit back and look inward at why everything went sideways in the first place. But man, it is such a massive struggle to actually go against your own ego and admit, "Hey, I might be wrong here, maybe my perspective is totally skewed"... it's incredibly hard. Seriously, give it a shot sometime. It’s always so much easier to just point fingers at everyone else, shift all the blame onto them, and tell yourself you’re 100% right. That's just how it goes, life happens, and sometimes you change so much that you don't even recognize yourself anymore, and that old version of you is just gone. It takes a whole lot of courage to own up to it and try to find your way back to who you used to be...

It is simply human nature to want to be right. That’s why we convince ourselves we are. That’s why admitting fault feels so heavy. It is extremely difficult to remain objective when you are one of the primary actors in the drama.

The easiest path is claiming someone else is to blame. That might be true once or twice, but it’s statistically impossible for everyone else to be wrong all the time. It’s just unrealistic.

Edit:

Kate Fox58 said:Hey, I'm curious—what actually defines someone's character?

https://velikirecnik.com/2016/09/14/karakter/

Thanks, we definitely drifted off-topic.

But even character can evolve. For instance, if you're someone with a short fuse that constantly lands you in hot water, you can work on de-escalating your own tension. Over time, you can become much more level-headed. It won't happen overnight, but through years of effort, it's possible.

Alright, just wanted to clear a few things up here. ☕

stormyheron9 said:It is simply human nature to want to be right. That’s why we convince ourselves we are. That’s why admitting fault feels so heavy. It is extremely difficult to remain objective when you are one of the primary actors in the drama.

The easiest path is claiming someone else is to blame. That might be true once or twice, but it’s statistically impossible for everyone else to be wrong all the time. It’s just unrealistic.

Edit:

Thanks, we definitely drifted off-topic.

But even character can evolve. For instance, if you're someone with a short fuse that constantly lands you in hot water, you can work on de-escalating your own tension. Over time, you can become much more level-headed. It won't happen overnight, but through years of effort, it's possible.

So, yeah, that's really what it comes down to.
But I truly believe you can step back and see things clearly even when you're involved, you just have to have the willpower to do it...

Sedona, I’ve had this happen a few times in my life where I’ve run into people from my childhood.
By some crazy coincidence, we end up in the exact same spot at the exact same time and just start hanging out again.
You know what I noticed?
That they are actually the SAME people we knew back when we were kids.
Sure, the look is different—everyone’s a bit more polished now—but the core... it’s exactly the same.

stormyheron9 said:It is simply human nature to want to be right. That’s why we convince ourselves we are. That’s why admitting fault feels so heavy. It is extremely difficult to remain objective when you are one of the primary actors in the drama.

The easiest path is claiming someone else is to blame. That might be true once or twice, but it’s statistically impossible for everyone else to be wrong all the time. It’s just unrealistic.

Edit:

Thanks, we definitely drifted off-topic.

But even character can evolve. For instance, if you're someone with a short fuse that constantly lands you in hot water, you can work on de-escalating your own tension. Over time, you can become much more level-headed. It won't happen overnight, but through years of effort, it's possible.

That describes me perfectly.
When I'm in an argument, I tend to say whatever comes to mind just to get under the other person's skin, even if I don't mean any of it... then the next day, I feel terrible and full of regret, but by then, the damage is already done.
And honestly, that's something I really need to work on. It requires intentional effort and a massive shift in my own personality, starting with just admitting that I have a problem in the first place.
Some people won't believe me and will claim I'm just making excuses or being fake, but I am truly owning up to my mistakes and working to be better. Let them try doing the same thing—it's definitely not easy...

swiftgull4 said:That describes me perfectly.
When I'm in an argument, I tend to say whatever comes to mind just to get under the other person's skin, even if I don't mean any of it... then the next day, I feel terrible and full of regret, but by then, the damage is already done.
And honestly, that's something I really need to work on. It requires intentional effort and a massive shift in my own personality, starting with just admitting that I have a problem in the first place.
Some people won't believe me and will claim I'm just making excuses or being fake, but I am truly owning up to my mistakes and working to be better. Let them try doing the same thing—it's definitely not easy...

I'm right there with you. Although, being insulting isn't really my nature. These days, my fuse is much longer, and I tend to avoid arguments altogether. I find that keeping my voice low can help calm the other person down, allowing us to talk through the issue rationally. If we still can't resolve it after an hour, I just get dressed and go for a walk, then come back once I've cooled off even more.

@Kate Fox58 People tell me every five years or so that I haven't changed at all. And honestly, in terms of communication, I haven't felt the need to change. What *has* changed is my worldview; I'm much more optimistic now and I have a significantly thicker skin. I've also worked on specific traits based on advice from people who pointed out my Achilles' heel. Being calmer helps me everywhere. Reacting purely on emotion is a losing game 99% of the time. I can't recall a single instance where an emotional outburst yielded a better result than handling the situation calmly.

Amanda James27 said:Did you actually know everything she was going through? If you say she was withdrawn, my guess is she just wasn't talking about her private life.
It’s incredibly easy for someone to reach a breaking point where they just stop giving a damn about being "polite" or "classy."

About 10 or 11 years ago, I was much more introverted, naive, quiet, and laid back myself. Since then, I've changed—not necessarily for the better, mind you. For instance, now I'm pretty cynical and I generally have a much darker outlook on life and people in general...

I think I was fairly well-informed about what was happening in her life, yeah. 🙂
At least during the period when those changes were taking place.

I don't know... I get the impression that when people change like this, it usually follows a pattern—man, look how everyone screwed me over before... well, nobody's messing with me anymore! and then they often swing toward some other extreme.

At least, that's the conclusion I've reached based on what I see around me. 😁