Who can I talk to for help? Who should I reach out to?

Harold Anderson3 said:I actually ended up quoting myself because of this specific thought.
It just occurred to me that this might be the underlying logic behind my relationships with others.
It feels like someone—whether it's a partner, a friend, or just an acquaintance—views me as if I were that car. If I can't be "fixed" to meet their needs, they just swap me out for someone else who fits better.

While I obviously can't just replace my entire existence with a new person, others can certainly replace me with someone who suits them more easily, which is exactly what happens.

And because of that, I struggle to accept myself, which creates this cycle where I end up feeling rejected by everyone else.

I honestly don't even know what I should be using as a foundation for my self-esteem.

Do you all base yours on your career, your profession, a degree, or maybe your family ties?

Personally, I feel like I don't have a single solid thing to hold onto in my life right now.

I realize I'm probably just rambling here, since these kinds of deep-seated issues aren't going to be solved overnight through an internet forum. But I really don't know who to turn to or even where to begin?

Real confidence comes from mastering a specific skill. For instance, imagine you work in construction. You study the trade, put in the hours, gain experience, and eventually, you become a true expert. Because you know you can handle any task thrown your way and that you are constantly improving, you feel steady and capable in your profession. 🙂

As for general self-confidence, I'm not quite sure what that entails... Is it the feeling of inherent worth just by being alive? Learning to accept all your traits, both good and bad? Simply feeling comfortable in your own skin?

Even if someone is perfectly at peace with themselves, it doesn't guarantee universal acceptance. We won't be loved by everyone, nor can we possibly love everyone—including ourselves 😁—and we certainly won't fit into every social circle or be the life of every party.

Confidence built on physical looks, bank accounts, status, or career success is incredibly fragile. What happens when the very things that define a person's "worth" suddenly disappear?

I don't have a single redeeming quality to hold onto in my life.

You write interesting and coherent posts here, which is more than most people can say 😁. Isn't that a quality in itself? 🙂 I am certain you possess many positive traits and perhaps even undiscovered talents waiting to be developed.

It might be best to start by building small, practical areas of confidence—focusing on acquiring specific skills or knowledge. As you see progress in any area, your sense of self will naturally improve, which will eventually bolster your overall self-esteem. 🙂

mistybison said:Real confidence comes from mastering a specific skill. For instance, imagine you work in construction. You study the trade, put in the hours, gain experience, and eventually, you become a true expert. Because you know you can handle any task thrown your way and that you are constantly improving, you feel steady and capable in your profession. 🙂

As for general self-confidence, I'm not quite sure what that entails... Is it the feeling of inherent worth just by being alive? Learning to accept all your traits, both good and bad? Simply feeling comfortable in your own skin?

Even if someone is perfectly at peace with themselves, it doesn't guarantee universal acceptance. We won't be loved by everyone, nor can we possibly love everyone—including ourselves 😁—and we certainly won't fit into every social circle or be the life of every party.

Confidence built on physical looks, bank accounts, status, or career success is incredibly fragile. What happens when the very things that define a person's "worth" suddenly disappear?

I don't have a single redeeming quality to hold onto in my life.

You write interesting and coherent posts here, which is more than most people can say 😁. Isn't that a quality in itself? 🙂 I am certain you possess many positive traits and perhaps even undiscovered talents waiting to be developed.

It might be best to start by building small, practical areas of confidence—focusing on acquiring specific skills or knowledge. As you see progress in any area, your sense of self will naturally improve, which will eventually bolster your overall self-esteem. 🙂

Great point and solid advice!

I think we've all felt this. We feel more valuable when we're actually good at something our community respects. No matter how much we differ socially, most of us want that recognition. It just makes us feel more secure and happy.

Of course, success isn't free. You have to work hard, be patient, and stay persistent. But in the end, it's always worth it. 🙂

EDIT: Since Harold Anderson3 mentioned starting out as a construction laborer, there’s a real path for growth there. There is a huge demand for skilled tradespeople, and a solid recommendation often matters even more than a degree or a certificate. In those fields, being careful and detail-oriented is everything. Nowadays, too many workers are in such a rush that they cut corners and do sloppy jobs. That’s a massive opportunity for anyone willing to do things the right way!

mistybison, you really hit the nail on the head with that one, truly beautifully written👍

Huge thanks to our moderator mistybison, and honestly, thank you to everyone else for all the advice and support lately.

I feel a little silly asking how to build up my self-confidence at thirty, especially when I feel like I should have actually accomplished things by now instead of just working on my mindset. But since I know that dealing with psychosis basically knocked me back ten years, I suppose it isn't as strange as it sounds. After those two psychotic episodes, I had to relearn almost everything from scratch. It took about three weeks just to shake off the visual and auditory hallucinations, and then I spent several months on heavy doses of medication before things finally started looking up. It felt like everything I had achieved by the age of twenty-one just vanished into thin air.
For me, life before and after the diagnosis feels like two completely different existences.

Thanks again, everyone, truly. 🙂

Did you grow up feeling like nobody actually cared about you? If that's the case, there’s a good chance you're feeling pretty isolated right now. Even when you manage to find a close friend or start a new relationship, those connections often feel fleeting and temporary.

It honestly feels like this was written specifically for me.
Even though I've managed to break some of those old childhood patterns, my life still feels fundamentally the same.
The only real difference is that while the physical abuse from my past has stopped, I've just ended up lonely, and I'm still struggling with that same sense of unhappiness.