How do I keep going?

I suppose I’ll give it a shot; I truly have nothing left to lose. Part of me resists, though—perhaps because I’m treating this as my absolute last lifeline. There’s this nagging fear, isn't there? If I make the leap and things don't pan out, if it doesn't actually solve anything... where does that leave me?
And regardless of how many times they’ve turned me away because of what happened previously—that one unfortunate incident—it seems I am left without a second, third, or even fourth option, other than this one.

Look, give it a shot. I honestly have no clue where you're located right now, so it's hard to give you a specific recommendation. If you happen to be down in Miami, or even just hanging around the area, I know a few places you could reach out to. However, if you’re based in Washington, D.C.—well, lucky you, because that's where all the real opportunities are—you'll have no trouble finding the right person for the job. Generally speaking, if you want a solid recommendation, just go through this topic.

Thomas Roberts3 said:Running away from your fears and problems isn't a recipe for happiness, and it definitely isn't a solution to them.

In the long run? No. But sometimes post-traumatic experiences hit so hard that a person honestly just doesn't know how to survive or move forward without pushing them down. Of course, everything eventually comes back to haunt you... sooner or later...

Jonathan Hayes said:In the long run? No. But sometimes post-traumatic experiences hit so hard that a person honestly just doesn't know how to survive or move forward without pushing them down. Of course, everything eventually comes back to haunt you... sooner or later...

It’s a completely normal reaction. Everyone processes trauma and high-stress situations differently. It’s actually the body’s way of trying to maintain some kind of equilibrium for a while, just until the brain is ready to process everything on a conscious level.

Jonathan Hayes said:In the long run? No. But sometimes post-traumatic experiences hit so hard that a person honestly just doesn't know how to survive or move forward without pushing them down. Of course, everything eventually comes back to haunt you... sooner or later...

I suppose that’s just instinct. It’s actually a physiological mechanism—this drive to "keep going" regardless of the trauma. An animal doesn't sit around contemplating how much time it needs to process an event; it just breathes, eats, sleeps, and survives. That is life, I guess.

And so many things pass through a lifetime and eventually get accepted as just part of being alive. Instead of a trauma being "resolved" so that it stops controlling or influencing one's existence, it essentially becomes baked into their very character. It’s a heavy thought...

...and then, quite predictably, those traumatized individuals band together and invent politics. 😬

Lawrence Bailey77 said:I suppose that’s just instinct. It’s actually a physiological mechanism—this drive to "keep going" regardless of the trauma. An animal doesn't sit around contemplating how much time it needs to process an event; it just breathes, eats, sleeps, and survives. That is life, I guess.

And so many things pass through a lifetime and eventually get accepted as just part of being alive. Instead of a trauma being "resolved" so that it stops controlling or influencing one's existence, it essentially becomes baked into their very character. It’s a heavy thought...

...and then, quite predictably, those traumatized individuals band together and invent politics. 😬

Leave politics out of this shop, for crying out loud.🧐

And no, it isn't "trauma" that causes people to invent politics. To pull that off, you need much deeper issues involving ego, ethics, and morality... it’s a complex cocktail of pathological conditions. But fine, let's not get bogged down in talking about politics or politicians ☕

Andrew Doyle said:Leave politics out of this shop, for crying out loud.🧐

And no, it isn't "trauma" that causes people to invent politics. To pull that off, you need much deeper issues involving ego, ethics, and morality... it’s a complex cocktail of pathological conditions. But fine, let's not get bogged down in talking about politics or politicians ☕

I won't, I won't🕺 I merely intended to point out that things can always get worse... though I suppose this was truly an extreme case😈... what kind of status quo are we even talking about
...
moving on... honestly🙂

Andrew Doyle said:I wouldn't go that far...

I just don't know how to live or function like a normal person anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I can’t...

After everything I've been through, I simply cannot keep going like this.
I have zero desire to live, zero motivation to do anything, and absolutely no will to step foot outside or socialize. Honestly, I'd much rather stay isolated by myself because that's where I feel most comfortable. I have dealt with a hundred different disasters in my life that most people couldn't even imagine experiencing, and frankly, I am exhausted. I'm worn out, and I see absolutely no point in trying to pull myself together when I’m convinced that something else terrible is just waiting around the corner—because that seems to be the pattern of my life.

Look, I'm not claiming you have some official medical diagnosis, but based on what you're describing, I firmly believe you should seek professional help.
When people hit a wall and can't move forward on their own, when they're struggling to reconcile with the things that have happened to them, they sometimes just need a real conversation—one that gets to the core of the issue and helps them find a way to actually move in the right direction.

Professional help is a joke; all they do is hand out pills that numb you out and leave you feeling sluggish and complacent for ages. I’ve been through the ringer with psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and psychologists myself, and honestly? Zero stars for every single one of them. I feel exactly the same way as the girl writing all this.

Brandon Mitchell said:Professional help is a joke; all they do is hand out pills that numb you out and leave you feeling sluggish and complacent for ages. I’ve been through the ringer with psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and psychologists myself, and honestly? Zero stars for every single one of them. I feel exactly the same way as the girl writing all this.

Professional mental health care isn't just about throwing medication at a problem; it encompasses pharmacotherapy, psychotherapy, and holistic support systems. It is absolutely not limited to just drugs.
I am genuinely sorry you had such a dismal experience with the entire spectrum of professional help, but let’s be clear: there are incredibly talented psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and psychologists out there—and please understand that none of those roles share the same educational background or training.

No expert is a magician who can promise a total fix overnight. Most of them just have significantly more experience dealing with these patterns than the average person—who usually only knows their own specific case, which is both an advantage and a limitation.

Experience comes in all shapes and sizes. For the exact same diagnosis and medication, some people claim it completely turned their lives around, while others say it ruined them or made things worse. Even with two people facing anxiety and depression, the same antidepressant can trigger totally different reactions. For one person, it’s the solution they needed; for another, it might trigger mania or psychosis (though I don't want to cause unnecessary alarm, it's not exactly common).

Unfortunately, this stuff is just too complex to fully map out. It’s hard to get a perfect scan of everything, especially since most assessments are indirect, based on conversation and subjective feelings, along with a dozen other variables that could influence how a therapy works. At the end of the day, it often comes down to trial and error. A specialist just uses their knowledge and experience to statistically tip the scales toward a positive outcome. But just because one person had a bad experience doesn't mean we should generalize that or expect everyone else to react the same way.

bluemason3 said:No expert is a magician who can promise a total fix overnight. Most of them just have significantly more experience dealing with these patterns than the average person—who usually only knows their own specific case, which is both an advantage and a limitation.

Experience comes in all shapes and sizes. For the exact same diagnosis and medication, some people claim it completely turned their lives around, while others say it ruined them or made things worse. Even with two people facing anxiety and depression, the same antidepressant can trigger totally different reactions. For one person, it’s the solution they needed; for another, it might trigger mania or psychosis (though I don't want to cause unnecessary alarm, it's not exactly common).

Unfortunately, this stuff is just too complex to fully map out. It’s hard to get a perfect scan of everything, especially since most assessments are indirect, based on conversation and subjective feelings, along with a dozen other variables that could influence how a therapy works. At the end of the day, it often comes down to trial and error. A specialist just uses their knowledge and experience to statistically tip the scales toward a positive outcome. But just because one person had a bad experience doesn't mean we should generalize that or expect everyone else to react the same way.

I’m definitely not the only one who’s been burned here. I know there are plenty of us who have had terrible experiences. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying every single provider out there is garbage, but let's be real about the general trend: right from the jump, they basically tell you they can't actually do much for you. It sets this expectation where you realize you can't realistically expect any real support from them at all. And don't even get me started on the pills. They are absolute bottom-of-the-barrel. As much as they might help you on one hand, they simultaneously strip away your ability to actually experience life and situations normally. Your whole existence just shrinks down until you're living entirely inside your own head instead of actually experiencing the world around you. I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to stay this way forever, but I've been stuck in this loop for four years now. I've been battling depression for seven years total—it all started with mild anxiety and spiraled into full-blown panic attacks and psychosis, which I don't even know where the hell came from. Maybe the antidepressants actually triggered the psychosis? Honestly, I wouldn't even be surprised... anyway, that's all I have to say. Take care. 😁

Andrew Doyle said:Professional mental health care isn't just about throwing medication at a problem; it encompasses pharmacotherapy, psychotherapy, and holistic support systems. It is absolutely not limited to just drugs.
I am genuinely sorry you had such a dismal experience with the entire spectrum of professional help, but let’s be clear: there are incredibly talented psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and psychologists out there—and please understand that none of those roles share the same educational background or training.

I really appreciate the sympathy, everyone. Honestly, there isn't much professional support available here in my city, and everything I've tried so far has been a total wash. These pills I’m on... they just slow me down. They dull everything—they make me feel sluggish, numb, and completely lifeless. I can't even enjoy a beer anymore. Even when I do feel a spark of excitement, it lasts maybe two seconds before vanishing. Everything just feels empty. I’m actually terrified to start working again because when I was volunteering, people really noticed how "out of it" I was. Some people even made fun of me for it, which was just shitty. My psychiatrist doesn't even really talk to me; she just keeps pushing these meds to slow me down further. I don't have any other options right now, so I'm just sitting here praying that I won't be living my entire life in slow motion... because if that happens, it’s going to be a devastating loss...

If you want my honest opinion, it sounds like you haven't even received proper professional guidance yet. You desperately need a second opinion—ideally from a psychiatrist who also practices psychotherapy. You need someone who can actually oversee your medication regimen while simultaneously digging into the root causes of your condition through a structured therapeutic process.

Let me be perfectly clear: beer, alcohol, or any kind of recreational drugs are absolutely disastrous when combined with pharmacotherapy. They are strictly off-limits and should never, under any circumstances, be part of the equation.

Andrew Doyle said:If you want my honest opinion, it sounds like you haven't even received proper professional guidance yet. You desperately need a second opinion—ideally from a psychiatrist who also practices psychotherapy. You need someone who can actually oversee your medication regimen while simultaneously digging into the root causes of your condition through a structured therapeutic process.

Let me be perfectly clear: beer, alcohol, or any kind of recreational drugs are absolutely disastrous when combined with pharmacotherapy. They are strictly off-limits and should never, under any circumstances, be part of the equation.

You’re probably right, but do you know anyone in Indianapolis who could actually help? Look, I'm not saying alcohol is great, but having a drink in moderation isn't the end of the world—sometimes it just helps lift the mood. As for other drugs, I don't touch them, even if there are some I might be tempted by...

Unfortunately, I can't offer much guidance regarding Indianapolis, but you should try checking this specific thread to see if anyone has posted about finding help in that area. It’s worth a deep dive through the archives.

As for opioids and alcohol, I don't have much to add beyond this: 🙂
Mixing pharmacotherapy with alcohol is a dangerous game you simply shouldn't play; the consequences can be absolutely lethal. And when it comes to other opioids or narcotics? They aren't just bad news—they will aggressively tear down whatever mental stability you have left. But I won't hijack the conversation here, as there is a dedicated section for those topics.

I truly, sincerely hope you find the professional medical support you need. And let me be clear: if your current medication regimen is making you feel this sluggish, drowsy, or heavily sedated, something is wrong. You might tolerate a bit of grogginess in the short term while your body adjusts to a new prescription, but once that initial phase passes, you're supposed to be functional. If you aren't, then the treatment plan is fundamentally flawed and needs to be adjusted immediately.

Andrew Doyle said:Unfortunately, I can't offer much guidance regarding Indianapolis, but you should try checking this specific thread to see if anyone has posted about finding help in that area. It’s worth a deep dive through the archives.

As for opioids and alcohol, I don't have much to add beyond this: 🙂
Mixing pharmacotherapy with alcohol is a dangerous game you simply shouldn't play; the consequences can be absolutely lethal. And when it comes to other opioids or narcotics? They aren't just bad news—they will aggressively tear down whatever mental stability you have left. But I won't hijack the conversation here, as there is a dedicated section for those topics.

I truly, sincerely hope you find the professional medical support you need. And let me be clear: if your current medication regimen is making you feel this sluggish, drowsy, or heavily sedated, something is wrong. You might tolerate a bit of grogginess in the short term while your body adjusts to a new prescription, but once that initial phase passes, you're supposed to be functional. If you aren't, then the treatment plan is fundamentally flawed and needs to be adjusted immediately.

Thanks 😁, and good luck to you too with everything