Is death actually natural?

Death... what a topic... It’s inevitable, guaranteed, no matter how you slice it. Illness, helplessness, being backed into a corner... those are the things that actually matter, or at least should be feared. Death? That’s just a transition, some questionable continuation of existence in a different frequency or vibration... For those left behind, it serves as a visual, emotional... nudge to make the most of their time, to maximize [factor x] before sickness starts its offensive against them too... and then they become the "example" that triggers someone else's "will to live"... who will eventually find themselves on the chopping block of disease... and fading away into............
The repetition and cycles of energy vibrations within material existence.
Fixating on this fictional "self," while potentially seeing everything living around you as one single, uniform entity; that’s just a multiplier for irrational fear. Fear born from baseless disbelief in.......
The author; she’s likely torn between logic telling her that certain states—no matter what you call them—aren't officially "life" anymore... though it would probably be easier if that lifelessness was just seen as relief from pain....................... and given her sensitive nature and inability to offer genuine empathy without feeling the situation "on her own skin"... I think she's more than capable of sensing those "dry words and cold comments"... tossed out like dust motes against the logical side of the scale. All with the hope, or better yet, the "unconditional" intention that if that logic tips the balance, even if it's fake, it might bring a sliver of "lucid relief." We're all cowards, scared of something sooner or later. The question without an answer is; how justified or necessary it is. If we asked ourselves that more often, maybe things would be better for us all... or at least simpler..

I hear you loud and clear

shadowheron49 said:I’m really hoping I can find some solid advice here, maybe some coping strategies or self-help techniques to help me deal with this.

I think we all have that underlying fear of death, right? Or maybe it's just me...
I'm not sure if "phobia" is even the right word, but if it is, then my constant, overwhelming terror definitely qualifies.

Even when I was a little kid, just hearing the word "death" was enough to keep me wide awake all night long; and honestly, even though I’ve never actually witnessed anything traumatic or seen a dead body, this fear is so intense it feels like it could literally consume me.

I actually managed to find some peace for a few years there—I could even sleep in total darkness, which used to be an impossible mission for me.
But... it’s all coming back.

Basically, the other day, I had to witness someone I care about having a stroke right in front of my eyes (usually, nothing shocks me, but this was different), and seeing someone actually dying for the first time in my 25 years... I was covering my eyes, totally spiraling, and when I had to call 911, I was so out of it that I forgot my own name, let alone how to dial emergency services...

And now, it's all starting again...
Now I can't stand being in a dimly lit room, I can't be alone, I can't handle silence, and any sudden noise makes me jump and freeze up; plus, as if to spite me, the power tripped earlier and now I'm just shaking from pure terror—it's like fear is literally running through my veins.
I find myself leaving all the doors open because I can't stand being enclosed, and I'm constantly seeking out crowds, yet I can't bring myself to go near where that accident happened...
I just can't.
If I see even the tiniest shadow move, I bolt like a soldier surviving a grenade blast—it's that visceral.
Right now, I’d honestly rather be standing out in the rain than inside a closed room.
This behavior used to haunt me for a while, and it actually turned my hair gray by the time I hit 25.
Some people think it’s just genetics (though they can't point to anyone specific since I started graying at 18), and others just write off my extreme fear as part of my personality, but for me, this causes real, tangible problems.
Now that I know what's coming, I'm desperate for advice or anything at all, because I can't live like this for another second.
What am I going to do when a family member passes away one day? I know it's inevitable... what will I do? And God forbid I end up being alone with them...
Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
Do I need to see a psychologist?

Because my brain is always overanalyzing everything, I can't help but dive into the deepest, darkest thoughts about mortality in a way most "normal" people probably wouldn't; I've tried searching for the truth about the soul, trying to prove to myself that death isn't real or scary.
While everyone else around me is grieving at funerals, I'm just paralyzed with fear; I wouldn't even touch a deceased person, nor would I sit in a chair where they once sat—my family actually threw out the couch where a man passed away, and I wouldn't dare touch a glass someone died using... I'd rather just burn everything and toss it out (one day I might have to clear out the whole house if things don't change)...
The thing is... with everything I know about the nature of death, you'd think I'd be the last person to fear it, but despite all my logic, this living phobia is stronger than I am.
I can't even walk past a place where someone died...
It’s just too much... I can't live like this...

What am I actually afraid of?
I don't know.
But it's this feeling that death itself is spreading through the room, like a black shadow hovering nearby...
Like even the objects belonging to a dead person are dying...
That sensation that the deceased are trying to reach out to me, that they're right there...
And the worst part...
Is looking at myself and realizing I'm nothing more than a collection of meat and bones... essentially dead already even though I'm still breathing... it's like I'm carrying death inside me... I feel this urge to run away from my own body, from this physical shell that I see torn apart so often on the news or on a dinner plate...
Even seeing an animal die absolutely terrifies me.

When I hug someone and hear their heartbeat and their breathing...
It feels eerie to me...
And honestly, I’ve never been much of a touchy-feely person
but when it comes to the one I truly love...
The only thing that actually gets to me is knowing that eventually, they won't be here anymore...

How do you even begin to stop being terrified of death and just accept it as part of life?
Because for me, death definitely doesn't feel natural at all....

Find yourself a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, or a psychologist... someone you can spend years digging through your own psyche with (and draining your wallet in the process).

For God's sake, death—you don't see anything, you don't know anything, you just turn to dust. Your senses shut down long before the end actually hits. This human body is a miracle; it’s a damn shame we don't listen to it more often.

Honestly, I think anyone actually living their life doesn't have this irrational, baseless fear of death. The real horrors are happening right here on the surface of this miserable, exhausted planet, not three miles underground.

But yeah... I get it... what happens when I'm gone? Nothing. The world keeps spinning. In a few generations, nobody will even remember who we were because the next generation will only care about some distant great-great-aunt or whatever. Unless, of course, you become some world-renowned scientist or a major historical figure worthy of being in the history books (though, let's be honest, that doesn't mean much to the dead anyway).

I'm not afraid of my own passing; I'm terrified of losing those close to me. I dread the thought of something happening to my children. But everything else follows the natural order of things—how we say it in the States: it is what it is. That's just how life works.

My best friend was murdered four years ago when she was only 36. My mother died of pancreatic cancer also four years ago; ten days after the diagnosis, she was gone at age 51. It's a hell of a way to live, watching people depart when they still had so much they wanted to accomplish in this life (the one and only, in my opinion).
My grandmother passed away last summer at 89. She had been done with this world for a long time; she lived through the Great Depression and the era of her childhood.

You have a life right now, and it will last as long as it lasts. Death is a single moment. It isn't worth letting one fleeting moment overshadow everything else you can experience while you're alive. And look, we all know there's plenty of crap out there, but you'll always find something good that makes you happy or gives you a laugh.

I’m honestly spiraling into this total paranoia that I’ve gone and developed cancer—mostly because my smoking habit is becoming absolutely relentless, and despite the constant, nagging fear clawing at the back of my mind, I just find myself lighting up even more than before.😕

I honestly view death as nothing more than a transition point. I’ve stood right on that edge—face-to-face with the reaper—more times than I can count, whether it was during the war, through family chaos, or just growing up in an environment where life and death were basically playing tug-of-war every single day. But the absolute worst hit? Losing my best friend and her sister to their own father. I was only 14 when that happened, and by then, I’d already been through enough combat and family trauma to feel like I was flirting with death constantly. It turned me numb; a part of me just died right then and there, murdered by circumstance. I still have emotions, don't get me wrong, but I bury them deep. When people close to me pass, I cry alone in the dark, never letting a soul see. People love to throw around labels like "psychopath" or other nasty adjectives, but they don't know my history, my childhood reality, or the DNA I’m working with, so their opinions mean zero to me. Death is just a doorway because I still talk to my friend all the time—spiritually, we’re still totally connected...

shadowheron49 said:I’m really hoping I can find some solid advice here, maybe some coping strategies or self-help techniques to help me deal with this.

I think we all have that underlying fear of death, right? Or maybe it's just me...
I'm not sure if "phobia" is even the right word, but if it is, then my constant, overwhelming terror definitely qualifies.

Even when I was a little kid, just hearing the word "death" was enough to keep me wide awake all night long; and honestly, even though I’ve never actually witnessed anything traumatic or seen a dead body, this fear is so intense it feels like it could literally consume me.

I actually managed to find some peace for a few years there—I could even sleep in total darkness, which used to be an impossible mission for me.
But... it’s all coming back.

Basically, the other day, I had to witness someone I care about having a stroke right in front of my eyes (usually, nothing shocks me, but this was different), and seeing someone actually dying for the first time in my 25 years... I was covering my eyes, totally spiraling, and when I had to call 911, I was so out of it that I forgot my own name, let alone how to dial emergency services...

And now, it's all starting again...
Now I can't stand being in a dimly lit room, I can't be alone, I can't handle silence, and any sudden noise makes me jump and freeze up; plus, as if to spite me, the power tripped earlier and now I'm just shaking from pure terror—it's like fear is literally running through my veins.
I find myself leaving all the doors open because I can't stand being enclosed, and I'm constantly seeking out crowds, yet I can't bring myself to go near where that accident happened...
I just can't.
If I see even the tiniest shadow move, I bolt like a soldier surviving a grenade blast—it's that visceral.
Right now, I’d honestly rather be standing out in the rain than inside a closed room.
This behavior used to haunt me for a while, and it actually turned my hair gray by the time I hit 25.
Some people think it’s just genetics (though they can't point to anyone specific since I started graying at 18), and others just write off my extreme fear as part of my personality, but for me, this causes real, tangible problems.
Now that I know what's coming, I'm desperate for advice or anything at all, because I can't live like this for another second.
What am I going to do when a family member passes away one day? I know it's inevitable... what will I do? And God forbid I end up being alone with them...
Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
Do I need to see a psychologist?

Because my brain is always overanalyzing everything, I can't help but dive into the deepest, darkest thoughts about mortality in a way most "normal" people probably wouldn't; I've tried searching for the truth about the soul, trying to prove to myself that death isn't real or scary.
While everyone else around me is grieving at funerals, I'm just paralyzed with fear; I wouldn't even touch a deceased person, nor would I sit in a chair where they once sat—my family actually threw out the couch where a man passed away, and I wouldn't dare touch a glass someone died using... I'd rather just burn everything and toss it out (one day I might have to clear out the whole house if things don't change)...
The thing is... with everything I know about the nature of death, you'd think I'd be the last person to fear it, but despite all my logic, this living phobia is stronger than I am.
I can't even walk past a place where someone died...
It’s just too much... I can't live like this...

What am I actually afraid of?
I don't know.
But it's this feeling that death itself is spreading through the room, like a black shadow hovering nearby...
Like even the objects belonging to a dead person are dying...
That sensation that the deceased are trying to reach out to me, that they're right there...
And the worst part...
Is looking at myself and realizing I'm nothing more than a collection of meat and bones... essentially dead already even though I'm still breathing... it's like I'm carrying death inside me... I feel this urge to run away from my own body, from this physical shell that I see torn apart so often on the news or on a dinner plate...
Even seeing an animal die absolutely terrifies me.

When I hug someone and hear their heartbeat and their breathing...
It feels eerie to me...
And honestly, I’ve never been much of a touchy-feely person
but when it comes to the one I truly love...
The only thing that actually gets to me is knowing that eventually, they won't be here anymore...

How do you even begin to stop being terrified of death and just accept it as part of life?
Because for me, death definitely doesn't feel natural at all....

Death is an illusion.

While you're busy sweating over the illusion of non-existence, you're just flushing your precious time right down the drain.

hollowpuma762 said:Death is an illusion.

While you're busy sweating over the illusion of non-existence, you're just flushing your precious time right down the drain.

I'm with you on that. It's fine to try and wrap your head around things to a certain point, but obsessing over stuff humans simply can't grasp? That's just spinning your wheels and wasting time.

What happens when losing someone in the family completely flips a person's script—like, they suddenly start living in constant fear for everyone else? I have this friend who’s basically trapped in this cycle of terror and just spends her time praying... She’s been dealing with intense anxiety and depression ever since it happened.

Charles Bishop10 said:What happens when losing someone in the family completely flips a person's script—like, they suddenly start living in constant fear for everyone else? I have this friend who’s basically trapped in this cycle of terror and just spends her time praying... She’s been dealing with intense anxiety and depression ever since it happened.

Losing someone close is a trauma. Everyone handles it differently... grief isn't one-size-fits-all. If someone is so far out of it that they can't function in daily life, they need to go see a pro.

hollowpuma762 said:Death is an illusion.

While you're busy sweating over the illusion of non-existence, you're just flushing your precious time right down the drain.

The reality is that death is very much real—and frankly, the fact that you're terrified of it is the only thing proving you're actually alive. ☕

Andrew Price3 said:Honestly, what do I see? I see tears frozen in eyes. I see screams muffled by the strength of character. I see kindness buried under survival instincts. I see hearts wounded by the cold sting of disappointment. I see a world that desperately needs compassion, understanding, and someone willing to listen. How can we reach a better system, or better relationships between people, if not through the one thing we lack most—the very reason the world is the way it is? Love. Not technology that provides free energy, not crime prevention, not organic food or medical care... but love and the improvement of human connection. Because from that foundation, technology, medicine, and security can actually be realized.

Through that kind of consciousness... even just one person is enough to make the Matrix tremble.

Man, you're something else... do people like that actually exist? Or are you just really good at talking?🙏 🙂

I don’t fear death itself; I only fear the process of dying. Death represents either a total cessation of existence or a transition into a different state. I have always felt it was a shame we aren't granted the agency to choose our own exit. Imagine simply deciding, "That's enough for me," falling asleep, and never waking up—or perhaps waking up somewhere else in an entirely different form. Unfortunately, the rules of this life aren't designed that way. 😢

mistybison said:I don’t fear death itself; I only fear the process of dying. Death represents either a total cessation of existence or a transition into a different state. I have always felt it was a shame we aren't granted the agency to choose our own exit. Imagine simply deciding, "That's enough for me," falling asleep, and never waking up—or perhaps waking up somewhere else in an entirely different form. Unfortunately, the rules of this life aren't designed that way. 😢

I honestly thought that was an option, and people just called it suicide... 🤔

You're basically looking for something that society or religion would actually label as "normal"...

Death isn't some natural part of life—honestly, I’m just holding out for the day we finally discover a cure for mortality itself.

I actually stumbled upon this absolutely brilliant video on YouTube about the whole subject 🙂 .

neonsailor26 said:Death isn't some natural part of life—honestly, I’m just holding out for the day we finally discover a cure for mortality itself.

I actually stumbled upon this absolutely brilliant video on YouTube about the whole subject 🙂 .

You're being serious right now...? 🍿

Why would anyone even want to live forever?

Total disaster. 👎

I kind of feel bad for people who can't let go of this world and just want more...

velvettiger35 said:You're being serious right now...? 🍿

Why would anyone even want to live forever?

Total disaster. 👎

I kind of feel bad for people who can't let go of this world and just want more...

That’s great. If you're so eager, go ahead and do it right now—nobody's stopping you.

As for me, I actually want to live!

neonsailor26 said:That’s great. If you're so eager, go ahead and do it right now—nobody's stopping you.

As for me, I actually want to live!

I'll head out when the time is right... not a second sooner... 🤷

I don't have any desire to die early, but I'm not looking to stick around longer than necessary either.

When nature finally calls, I just hope I can leave with a smile on my face instead of whining, "just a little longer"...

velvettiger35 said:You're being serious right now...? 🍿

Why would anyone even want to live forever?

Total disaster. 👎

I kind of feel bad for people who can't let go of this world and just want more...

especially if they're battling a terminal illness. They end up clinging to every single day, even when those days are nothing but pure agony.☕

That’s a textbook case of death anxiety. Our entire society is fundamentally broken when it comes to how we handle mortality; we basically glorify suffering instead of accepting the end.

I actually have the complete opposite issue... I just don't feel that fear. I honestly can't remember when exactly it vanished. I still get physical fight-or-flight responses to danger, and I deal with other anxieties, but that abstract, existential dread regarding death? It's just not there. From what I've read, it might even be a matter of missing certain receptors in my brain.

When I was seeing my therapist, I brought it up quite directly—I was explaining how I manage the panic attacks I'm genetically predisposed to. She seemed genuinely taken aback, though we didn't really dive deeper into it because she ended her practice shortly after. (She was also surprised by how I react to touch; she brought up a past trauma of mine, which made me start crying, but then she put a hand on my shoulder and I wiped my eyes and went right back to a normal conversation in a split second. According to her, most people react in the exact opposite way.)

I can't help but feel like she categorized me as a psychopath and got spooked by me. I really don't want a repeat of that experience, so it feels a bit silly to go looking for a new therapist just to ask them what's "wrong" with me and how I can fix it.

Personally, I’ve never been afraid of death—not once. Growing up, funerals were just part of life; I saw bodies in caskets without any sense of dread. It was just... normal. Once I hit high school, though, my perspective shifted. I started seeing death as this massive, fascinating phenomenon. I guess it’s because it remains the ultimate mystery. You have scientists theorizing about total nothingness, while spiritualists talk about transitioning into some higher plane or a new state of being. Even ancient civilizations spent lifetimes studying the process of dying and the stages we pass through.
I honestly think people fear death because we’ve become so disconnected from nature and our own primal selves. Nowadays, we ship people off to specialized hospice facilities or nursing homes, whereas in the past, people died at home, surrounded by their family and everything they knew.

I feel incredibly lucky that I had the chance to say goodbye to someone very dear to me in such an intimate way. It really helped me process their physical absence and, strangely enough, only deepened my fascination with how enigmatic existence truly is.

Death isn't something outside of me. It lives within me
from the very first moment: growing alongside me
in every passing second
And one day
I will come to a halt
while it keeps growing
inside me, until it completely overtakes me
and reaches my very edge. (B. Šimić)