Is death actually natural?

I see the OP isn't active anymore, but I really hope she sees this someday.
To be honest, there’s this girl I care about deeply—someone I love—who has these exact same fears and ways of thinking. It’s so similar that I actually wondered if she was the one writing these posts. I was one of the few people she completely opened up to; I was someone she trusted, and I really hope I still mean a lot to her. Over the last month, I’ve gone back and read all your posts on this thread a few times. Part of it is just pure nostalgia for her; I miss her. Her sister has been on her deathbed recently, so she’s pulled away from everyone, and she’s also found some other reasons to push people away, so I haven't seen or heard from her in maybe two months.

I thought about showing her these posts of yours, but the timing hasn't been right. After I post this, though, maybe I’ll just read them to her without telling her where they came from online. I think it would make her feel even a tiny bit better to know she isn't the only one who's terrified in this specific way. You wrote everything so well; I think she uses the same defense mechanisms you mentioned. She gets caught up in these temporary distractions—stuff like music, flirting, constantly switching jobs, getting into arguments with people, etc. You can tell exactly when her mind starts drifting off to those places; you described it perfectly. She has these very specific fears regarding different ways to die. For example, her biggest fear is waking up trapped in a coffin underground. She analyzed that scenario with the same level of intense detail you used here. Her second biggest fear is dying alone, like just collapsing in the middle of a room and being paralyzed, unable to move, just lying there until she dies of dehydration. She once even asked me how things would go if a tornado hit a shopping mall while she was under the roof; she wanted my help analyzing the whole scene... that was back when those threats against the U.S. were making headlines. She also had a bad experience at a cemetery when she was little, hearing something she shouldn't have and running away. I could go on forever listing how much she’s like you. I can't help but wonder how she's holding up right now. By the way, her friends who have known her longer than I have say she’s socializing way less than she used to. Oh, and this is important: she told me that back in elementary school, her best friend died, and left a suicide note that actually blamed her, saying, "you betrayed me too." Ever since then, she's dealt with nightmares and stuff like that.

She told me she's been dealing with this fear since the 6th grade. She had a really stressful childhood—I won't get into all the details, but between her parents and then the bullying and her parents' divorce, she had a complete nervous breakdown.
She describes her mental state as a constant depression that she has to fight just to occasionally surface from. She also has these almost masochistic tendencies where she seeks out shocking situations, like watching horror movies or reading about terrifying events. She knows it’s bad for her, though. And yeah, she doesn't really like people. When she's with me, she says she feels relaxed, better than she does with anyone else.

One time, I was home alone, and for just a couple of seconds, I was hit by this sudden "essence of fear." It came out of nowhere while I was probably just stepping out of the shower or brushing my teeth. I’d describe the feeling as "total abandonment"—like when you're a kid and your parents leave you all alone in the middle of nowhere to just die. It’s a terrifying sensation. If that feeling lasts for long, you can't stay sane, and honestly, that’s probably why people turn to suicide. Personally, I’m not afraid of much. But yeah, I also had this random, intense thought once that fear is basically the same thing as mistrust or betrayal—like, if fear is ruling you, you’ve strayed from God's path, or something like that. That was just my interpretation.

She used to wonder how I could know her so well, maybe even better than some of her closest friends. I just... I got her, you know? I could read her reactions perfectly. She wasn't acting; she was just being herself, though whenever she tried to mask what she was feeling, I noticed it immediately.

Over the course of a few years, she mentioned twice that someone had actually managed to help her overcome her fear. The first time, she thought it was gone for good after talking to a former nurse, an old colleague of hers. I remember the key phrases—based on how terrified she was at the time—being things like, "You're afraid, don't be, think about your son, imagine if something happened to him, what would you do then?"
For two weeks, she felt totally reborn, but then everything just went back to the way it was.
The second time, it was some religious groups or prayer that helped her, maybe Jehovah's Witnesses or something similar. She had a connection there, and they’d come over to visit on Sundays. But I suspect that was short-lived too. I have less info on that part because, by then, she wasn't talking as much about her fears in private. Maybe she didn't want to overdo it and worry me that she was losing her way... anyway, she calls herself a believer, but we never had deep talks about it; I'd say she's just an average believer. She once told me, "God will put obstacles in your path, but he'll never give you one you can't overcome."

Generally speaking, she’s the kind of person everyone just loves—beautiful, humble, and she always gives off this really warm, positive, funny vibe to people she meets. Much like the author here, she couldn't stand seeing unhappy faces; she always had this energy to lift others up... I realize I'm speaking in the past tense, but that feels more natural right now.

Thinking about her fear and the author's, I feel like all these different things, people, and places get "linked." Like, they create this intense, immediate association that sits deep in their gut.
For instance, they view certain families differently because those families are linked to a deeper, stronger emotion, rather than being tied to horror, death, shock, uncertainty, ghosts, mortality, corpses, coffins, loneliness, aging, paralysis, or suffocation...

As much as both of them might be masochists in a way, deep down, they only find relief in positivity, brightness, smiles, and humor; that's what they crave. That’s why they can’t stand gloomy faces, whereas a bit of cheerfulness can easily pull them back into the "NOW" and yank them out of those negative mental movies.

I saw a conversation on YouTube once where someone talked about having similar fears, hearing voices and seeing things too. Maybe schizophrenia. She basically healed herself by treating those negative voices and messages with love, almost like saying, "Thanks for looking out for me, you guys are really kind." Basically, she managed to link them as useful messages that could actually help her.
So, it's positivity against negativity. She didn't ignore them; she accepted them and thanked them for the help.

To me, that seems like a real solution. Those short bursts where they manage to escape the fear aren't enough; the negative emotions rule for too long, and that's just not sustainable in the long run.
You have to fight it by linking your biggest fears and triggers to a positive emotion. You could call it "facing your fear," but not in the sense of treating it like an enemy, but more like a friend... like when I told her that if I saw a ghost, I’d just start chatting with it like my best buddy, maybe even teasing it, like, "What are you gonna do, scare me?" and she actually gave a little laugh at that.

It isn't easy, though, especially when a person is full of doubt—if they don't trust the good stuff, how are they going to trust the good in the negative? But I guess that's the struggle. You have to learn to detach, to act like it doesn't touch you, when things get too heavy. All of this is possible as long as the person hasn't lost their grip on reality; after that, it gets harder because they can't tell anything apart anymore. But still, you have to try to look at everything through these "glasses of positivity and chill."

What exactly would be considered 'unnatural'?