Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions?

I’m right there with both of you. Honestly, putting on an act all the time is just exhausting—it’s a losing game if you ask me. It’s way better to just let people think you're a bit of a weirdo or even just write you off entirely; at least then you can actually feel comfortable in your own skin without the constant performance. And honestly? It’s always so much easier to just be real with people from out of town 🙂

So many people spend their entire lives just playing a part, living a life that isn't even remotely their own. That’s exactly why they end up wrecking it.

The less you reveal about your vulnerabilities, the smaller the target on your back becomes. This is especially true when dealing with family—those relatives who have spent their entire lives finding clever ways to exploit your weaknesses. Keeping them at arm's length regarding your private struggles is simply better strategy. After all, you haven't cut ties with them yet, which means a certain level of performance is unavoidable for everyone involved. (Because let’s face it: who knows your buttons better than your own blood? They’ll see right through the act, but they’ll tolerate it because that’s just how the family dynamic works.)

I honestly think I’ve mastered the art of burying my emotions... It’s reached a point where even the people I interact with daily don't truly know me; they see a version of myself that feels entirely foreign to who I actually am. Not to mention how invisible I feel within my own family, almost as if my value is diminished simply because I don't fit the specific mold of what they imagine a young person should be... it’s left me with this lingering sense since childhood that no one really cares about how I feel, so I never quite learned how to open up to anyone.
Perhaps that’s why I come across as cold or indifferent, giving the impression that I lack empathy or just don't care about anything—but that couldn't be further from the truth. The reality is much simpler: I’ve spent my entire life learning to run from my feelings, having seen firsthand just how much damage they can do to a person's life...

What can I do about this?

Richard Wells said:What can I do about this?

Emotions are nothing more than straws used by various people and groups to suck the life right out of you.

Guilt and fear are the most obvious ways anyone tries to exert total control over someone else.

Nick can't do a single thing without our permission 🙂

Austin Nelson2 said:The less you reveal about your vulnerabilities, the smaller the target on your back becomes. This is especially true when dealing with family—those relatives who have spent their entire lives finding clever ways to exploit your weaknesses. Keeping them at arm's length regarding your private struggles is simply better strategy. After all, you haven't cut ties with them yet, which means a certain level of performance is unavoidable for everyone involved. (Because let’s face it: who knows your buttons better than your own blood? They’ll see right through the act, but they’ll tolerate it because that’s just how the family dynamic works.)

But I suppose there is also a diminished chance of actually feeling anything at all—all those good things life offers, aside from the misery, tend to slip away too.

You end up living in the shadows... ( ) 😁

Richard Wells said:Nick can't do a single thing without our permission 🙂

In my humble, perhaps overly cynical opinion, that sounds a bit schizophrenic... I hope my actual perspective on this is coming through clearly. It isn't quite as if you simply manifested your own circumstances from nothingness to begin with, and then things progressed from there... there has been a significant amount of interference directed at you, and frankly, I highly doubt that will ever truly cease. 👍

Richard Wells said:Nick can't do a single thing without our permission 🙂

Exactly. That is, if we actually bother to think for ourselves. 👍

I honestly don't think we're even on the same page here. Obviously, that’s just my take on things. Look, you can't really compare the act of being born to the conscious part of life where you actually develop the ability to reason through stuff. Where or when someone is born is a completely different conversation from what I was getting at. I was talking about conscious, grown adults who always have a choice in how they react to what life throws at them—and by extension, how much power they hand over to others. There's always a choice, and people who claim otherwise are usually just looking for an excuse. Everything has two sides to it. That’s just how I see it.

I tend to keep things to myself because most people just don't get it. When you actually open up and show some emotion, it’s like they immediately start looking down on you—pitying you, or worse, losing respect. It becomes this thing where they think, "Oh, she's a mess, she can't handle life." Society has shifted to a point where being cold and detached is seen as the ideal—acting like nothing touches you is considered "cool," while showing any real feeling is dismissed as being "weak."

Amy Barrett2 said:I tend to keep things to myself because most people just don't get it. When you actually open up and show some emotion, it’s like they immediately start looking down on you—pitying you, or worse, losing respect. It becomes this thing where they think, "Oh, she's a mess, she can't handle life." Society has shifted to a point where being cold and detached is seen as the ideal—acting like nothing touches you is considered "cool," while showing any real feeling is dismissed as being "weak."

Look, you're going to run into all sorts of people. You'll find those types who think feelings are a total weakness, sure, but there are also plenty of people out there who actually value emotional depth. You just have to go find a crowd that actually understands you.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Look, you're going to run into all sorts of people. You'll find those types who think feelings are a total weakness, sure, but there are also plenty of people out there who actually value emotional depth. You just have to go find a crowd that actually understands you.

👍 ☕ Patience really is a virtue.

Roadblocks, anxieties, injustices, and those stubbornly weak principles we cling to

People bury their feelings out of fear. Some just don't know how to show them because they weren't raised that way, while others believe being vulnerable is just another word for weakness.
The second you show sensitivity, you're labeled weak. That's just how it works. There will always be people waiting in the wings to pounce on someone else's vulnerability, usually because they're miserable and frustrated themselves. Especially those types who pretend nothing can touch them—the ones who think they're totally in control of everything. Psychologists would have a field day with them. In my opinion, a healthy person needs to be able to express their emotions; if they can't, there's a real issue there.