Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions?

To idea of a "true self" is really just a way to describe those actions and states of being where we feel completely aligned, you know? It’s when everything we do flows directly from our core principles, our values, and our deepest beliefs, ultimately creating that wonderful sense of "this is exactly where I belong."

On the flip side, we experience the opposite whenever we act in a way that clashes with our internal compass or contradicts our belief system, which leaves us with that nagging, uncomfortable feeling that "this isn't who I really am."

Until a person actually brings those three elements—our principles, our values, and our beliefs—into the equation, can they ever truly say they have found their authentic self?

Lighthearted romance is basically dead on arrival lately... feels like it’s all just worn out old nickels. Meanwhile, you see nothing but pure rage and bitterness everywhere you look. It’s been this way since day one and won't change for a century. Evil is everywhere, even when the big churches preach the good stuff while pocketing everyone's donations... honestly, the only thing left is that spark between two people, but even that can vanish in a heartbeat.

There are countless individuals who struggle to express any semblance of emotion—largely because they were never taught how. So many things simply went unaddressed; certain topics were treated as strictly off-limits within the family home. Consequently, children grow up learning that keeping secrets and maintaining an impenetrable exterior is the only way to navigate life.

Austin Nelson2 said:There are countless individuals who struggle to express any semblance of emotion—largely because they were never taught how. So many things simply went unaddressed; certain topics were treated as strictly off-limits within the family home. Consequently, children grow up learning that keeping secrets and maintaining an impenetrable exterior is the only way to navigate life.

I always found myself blaming my zodiac sign instead!😲

Austin Nelson2 said:There are countless individuals who struggle to express any semblance of emotion—largely because they were never taught how. So many things simply went unaddressed; certain topics were treated as strictly off-limits within the family home. Consequently, children grow up learning that keeping secrets and maintaining an impenetrable exterior is the only way to navigate life.

You don't even have to say it out loud. It’s enough for kids to just watch how their parents treat each other. That's the main thing.

Paul White80 said:Look, if even half of these self-proclaimed truth-seekers actually lived by their word, this whole society would collapse overnight. 😍

But instead, everyone just keeps playing along with the madness, treating the actual truth like it's some forbidden taboo. 😍

Truth is a luxury—don't go expecting to find it in cheap people.

Paul White80 said:Give me a break! You can't spend 100% of your life performing your "true self" or blabbing every unfiltered truth you have. Humans aren't built for that kind of perfection, are they?

That’s like saying noon is daytime—no kidding! Of course it can't be 100%... whatever. The whole point is that we've already cleared the baseline—we're working with established facts here—so let's just move the hell on.

Paul White80 said:No, real trash is an amateur who can't tell a good person from a bad one. And the person exploiting that naivety to manipulate others or cause harm just for kicks? That’s what true perfection looks like. 🙄

I'm exaggerating, sure, but you get my point. I know you shouldn't throw pearls before swine, but isn't it harder when those swine are wearing designer suits and acting like civilized Americans? 😁

In today’s world, most pigs just wear ties—it’s basically a noose disguised as fashion.

wiredrider7 said:It would be frankly absurd to expect everyone to wear their heart on their sleeve at all times—it just isn't realistic. Personally, I make a point of keeping my emotions in check when the situation calls for it; think professional settings or casual gatherings with acquaintances who aren't exactly my inner circle. However, once I am home with my family or being myself with my partner, I give 100% and express how I feel without reservation—anything else would feel performative and, quite frankly, unfair.
On the other hand, there are certain individuals who maintain a wall even around those closest to them. You never truly see an authentic emotion from them—be it joy or frustration—and that is honestly quite a shame.

And trust me, they're everywhere.

I've spent years studying how people tick, and I can say this with total confidence:

The ones who are overly sensitive, constantly showering you with attention and big emotions? They usually don't have much else to bring to the table, so they overcompensate.
Then you've got the people who seem cold or detached—those are the ones who actually have something valuable to offer, which is exactly why they’re careful about losing it or handing it to the wrong person.

People ALWAYS act the complete opposite of how they present themselves.
Every single time. Life is just one big masquerade ball.

Michael Diaz6 said:I've spent years studying how people tick, and I can say this with total confidence:

The ones who are overly sensitive, constantly showering you with attention and big emotions? They usually don't have much else to bring to the table, so they overcompensate.
Then you've got the people who seem cold or detached—those are the ones who actually have something valuable to offer, which is exactly why they’re careful about losing it or handing it to the wrong person.

People ALWAYS act the complete opposite of how they present themselves.
Every single time. Life is just one big masquerade ball.

Haha, I think my dad used to run an exhibition with a title just like that once :P

At the end of the day, people just behave the way they were conditioned to behave... mostly following whatever scripts society drilled into them from the moment they were born.

copperpanther27 said:Haha, I think my dad used to run an exhibition with a title just like that once :P

At the end of the day, people just behave the way they were conditioned to behave... mostly following whatever scripts society drilled into them from the moment they were born.

Precisely. Just look at men. They refuse to shed a tear, yet once you manage to reach their core and actually talk to them about anything meaningful, you realize how much they're hurting... that underneath it all, they’re really just fragile little things. 🙂 🙂

And how much of all that stuff does a kid actually soak up from their family dynamic growing up?

It all starts at home, doesn't it? It begins when parents start policing how you're allowed to feel... telling you not to cry, or forbidding certain reactions, or acting like your emotions are some kind of inconvenience they need to shut down.
By the time we grow up under all those restrictions, we've basically mastered the art of burying our own feelings and suppressing everything we actually feel deep down.

Richard Wells said:And how much of all that stuff does a kid actually soak up from their family dynamic growing up?

So, I’m actually sitting here reading this super fascinating book by Bernie called "The Social Network"... the whole core idea is about how humans are basically wired to play these little psychological games just to get some kind of social payoff... and honestly, it's all just a way to recreate those exact same feelings we had in our childhood homes...

We basically absorb the rules of these games subconsciously from our surroundings as kids... and then we spend the rest of our lives building our entire personalities based on them, which pretty much seals our fate...

Michael Diaz6 said:I've spent years studying how people tick, and I can say this with total confidence:

The ones who are overly sensitive, constantly showering you with attention and big emotions? They usually don't have much else to bring to the table, so they overcompensate.
Then you've got the people who seem cold or detached—those are the ones who actually have something valuable to offer, which is exactly why they’re careful about losing it or handing it to the wrong person.

People ALWAYS act the complete opposite of how they present themselves.
Every single time. Life is just one big masquerade ball.

I'm not really following this... could someone break it down for me?

Michael Diaz6 said:I've spent years studying how people tick, and I can say this with total confidence:

The ones who are overly sensitive, constantly showering you with attention and big emotions? They usually don't have much else to bring to the table, so they overcompensate.
Then you've got the people who seem cold or detached—those are the ones who actually have something valuable to offer, which is exactly why they’re careful about losing it or handing it to the wrong person.

People ALWAYS act the complete opposite of how they present themselves.
Every single time. Life is just one big masquerade ball.

Exactly right.

If you focus on a specific behavior, you'll end up doing the exact opposite because you're still acting from an old pattern. Everything you propose as concrete, realistic behavior is merely your "idea of focusing" on your behavior.
Focus is just an idea... it lives in your head, not in your actions.

Focus isn't change. Focus is a static vision of change. What actually changes things is presence. Or, more accurately: focusing on presence.

Andrew Price3 says: "..."

Andrew Price3 said:Exactly right.

If you focus on a specific behavior, you'll end up doing the exact opposite because you're still acting from an old pattern. Everything you propose as concrete, realistic behavior is merely your "idea of focusing" on your behavior.
Focus is just an idea... it lives in your head, not in your actions.

Focus isn't change. Focus is a static vision of change. What actually changes things is presence. Or, more accurately: focusing on presence.

It’s the classic logic of a wolf who assumes everyone else is running with the pack. But let’s get one thing straight: not everyone is playing along. Not everyone is wearing a mask, and not everyone views life as some grand, superficial masquerade. The problem is that people simply cannot stomach the truth. When someone shows up being genuinely authentic, society immediately moves to label them as "unfit," "incompetent," or "out of touch." It’s a convenient way to dismiss anyone who refuses to conform. There is this unspoken social mandate—a constant pressure to suit up, put on the costume, and play the part. Yet, look at the hypocrisy. We have groups like Anonymous who literally wear masks and hoodies, and suddenly we call that "masking"? It’s pathetic. We’ve built a culture based on performance rather than substance, and unfortunately, today’s generation is picking up on that hollow reality all too well.

There’s a massive difference between focusing on outward behavior and actually living from within. You have people out there constantly performing—putting on an act, wearing a mask, pretending to be something they aren't just to fit a certain mold. That’s not living; that’s theater. The person who truly *feels* doesn't need to obsess over "focusing" on how they behave. Their actions simply flow naturally from their internal state. But here is the tragedy of our modern American society: we have become so disconnected from our own inner lives, so dictated by the pressures of social expectations, that we’ve lost the ability to recognize authenticity altogether. We can't even tell when we're being real, let alone when someone else is. We're all just drifting through a sea of manufactured personas. If you want to actually matter, if you want to be a person of substance, you need to have the guts to be yourself. It takes real courage—real backbone—to face who you actually are beneath the layers of societal conditioning. Do the work. Explore your own psyche. Evolve. Change yourself instead of wasting your energy trying to manipulate or modulate the people around you. Stop trying to fix everyone else and start looking in the mirror.

Exactly. Focus on your own intuition.

If there is one thing I have learned about people, it is that everyone carries their own set of hidden fears, flaws, and deep-seated complexes. And especially those who present themselves as flawlessly confident. 😉

Paul White80 said:It’s just like when you actually put your heart into an essay in public school and get a failing grade. But then some old professor fakes a brilliant paper and sails right through with an A.

They’ve been brainwashing us since we were kids: apparently, it’s better to be a fake success than a genuine nobody.

Like Mr. Primavera already pointed out, that was perfectly put, Gemma! It hits right at the core of what I consider to be a global cancer eating away at everything.

Benjamin Wilson4 said:If there is one thing I have learned about people, it is that everyone carries their own set of hidden fears, flaws, and deep-seated complexes. And especially those who present themselves as flawlessly confident. 😉

Not everyone has actual complexes, though. That’s a pretty heavy, complicated set of issues. Most people don't have that, but yeah, we all have fears and flaws. Real confident people just radiate that energy naturally without feeling the need to brag about it. The second you start forcing that "perfect" vibe, people can tell—it’s pretty obvious you're just trying to mask what's actually going on underneath.

Richard Wells said:And how much of all that stuff does a kid actually soak up from their family dynamic growing up?

They don't. Having parents isn't a curse.