What kind of person should I strive to be?

Nicole Barrett76 said:And you, you simply ought to be a diplomat, shouldn't you? Constantly shifting your colors like a chameleon to suit the moment.

No, I don't think so. Everything is fine. It’s just... I’m not that type of person, and honestly, neither was my father. Changing who you are isn't really easy for us. I guess I'm just saying that, in many situations, it might be more effective to act like a diplomat or a politician rather than just reacting instantly to everything...

if you and everyone else on this forum are truly incapable of any diplomacy at all, then well, good for you, but...

velvetfalcon52,
I don't believe being diplomatic is synonymous with being a manipulator. There are times when it is simply wiser to bite your tongue and mitigate potential risks. Is "brutal honesty" truly worth the fallout? One has to consider what the consequences might be if you choose to stay silent or strategically redirect the conversation 🤷
In my view, it is entirely possible to remain true to oneself while still maintaining a diplomatic approach toward others. Most conflicts arise not from the substance of what was said, but rather from the manner in which it was communicated.

If you actually use a little bit of logic and some solid analysis, you can probably dodge a lot of unnecessary arguments.

I mean, fighting is exhausting. It’s just common sense, right?

Sometimes, a heated debate might look like a total blowout from the outside, even if it isn't really an argument.

But honestly, the more time people spend bickering, the less chance they have to notice the good stuff happening around them.

Sure, it might seem like the loudest people in the room—the ones constantly clashing—end up climbing the corporate ladder a bit faster.

But you have to wonder, though... how does that actually feel on the inside?

Jessica Ward said:So true! A beautifully articulated sentiment.🙂

Thanks! 😍🙂🙂

Maybe life is actually better without it—you finally get some peace, and then suddenly everyone starts treating you like some kind of saint. It's funny how people act once you're gone,
when they didn't give a damn about you while you were still around—which, let's be honest, is just plain stupid and fake.🤣

If being your authentic self doesn't actually get you anywhere in this life, then I suppose there's really nothing left to do but put on a mask and pretend to be someone else entirely.

Just stay true to yourself... if people see where you're weak, they'll definitely use it against you. Don't be too open, don't let people walk all over you, and never change who you are just to please someone else... that's just showing them they can manipulate you whenever they want.

🙄 .. perhaps a bit too much paranoia for my personal taste, though I suppose it’s a logical defense mechanism .. the trouble is, most people start swinging wildly at shadows before they even know if there's a target, and by the time reality catches up, the damage is usually done .. I wouldn't suggest being stingy when it comes to being a decent human being, though. I know folks who aren't paranoid in the slightest; they just stand tall in their kindness without feeling the need to blast it from the rooftops

Ethan Cruz4 said:Does "being a good person" actually just mean being naive and a pushover for everyone? Reading through the responses here, it seems like most people view them as one and the same.

quite the opposite .. true naivety prevents someone from being a truly good person .. regardless of how innocent or well-intentioned they might be, a person like that is far too susceptible to influence, and their "goodness" becomes entirely dependent on their surroundings and circumstances .. which means they aren't really acting of their own volition .. they are perhaps only "good" because they lack the capacity to be cruel .. I spent a large portion of my life that way, I suppose .. thinking that goodness was an absolute, self-contained thing .. and in a vacuum, maybe it is, but .. well, you know how these stories go ☕

I've stopped obsessing over the binary of good versus evil .. I've simplified my own values, and honestly, just being a "regular" human being is enough for me 😉

My philosophy on life is pretty straightforward: strive to be an honest, decent person who lends a hand whenever someone is in need. I believe in being polite and treating people with genuine respect, especially those who show you kindness in return. At the same time, I don't believe in letting anyone walk all over me or take advantage of my good nature—especially those who offer nothing but trouble. To me, it’s about finding that balance; being a good person when it counts, but knowing when to stand your ground and be firm.

Loved and necessary.

People will only value you as much as you value yourself; that’s just how the world works, plain and simple. There’s no other way around it.

If you decide to play the martyr—trying to be this pillar of unwavering morality or religious righteousness—you’re essentially throwing that logic out the window. You end up becoming nothing more than a doormat for everyone else. At some point, you really have to sit down and ask yourself if the trade-off is actually worth it. Still, I have a deep respect for those who have finally stopped sweating other people's opinions. Those who can face injustice with quiet composure? Honestly, they’re practically saints.