School closures/delays?

Karen Richardson3 said:The one thing I just can't wrap my head around in this whole debate is how kids in basically every other developed nation start school at six, and honestly, more and more are even starting at five—mostly because of those generational shifts we all see happening—yet somehow here in America, we're still dragging things out until they're seven or older.

If she were to go to school in New Zealand—like what Susan James mentioned earlier—I’d honestly be totally fine sending her there with nothing but a 5G connection.
Honestly, I still feel like preschools are a much better option than elementary schools around here. In my experience, the early childhood centers just seem to offer a more nurturing environment before kids get thrown into the deep end of the formal school system.

I'm not entirely sure about my English, but back when I "lived" over there for about a month during the last century, my aunt had three kids. The youngest was always hanging around the house, while the middle one and the oldest were both off at school.
If my memory serves me right, she was only about six years old when she started middle school. Honestly, it felt just like our local preschools back home—they didn't really do anything differently. It was all about drawing, singing, and playing. There weren't any actual grades, just the occasional "good job" or a little sticker to keep them motivated. I'm pretty sure she wasn't even doing any real homework at home during that time. 🤷
Our youngest hasn't started preschool yet because, honestly, the childcare costs around here are just astronomical. We’re actually waiting until they turn five when kindergarten becomes mandatory and free. At that point, the only thing we'll have to worry about is paying for lunch, or we can just pack a bag from home.
I only used to see my older sister on the weekends—back when I was still out wandering around town all day. I have a feeling she might have been staying at some kind of boarding school, or maybe her school schedule just kept her busy from sunrise to sunset. 🤔

I’d love to hear from anyone who has some recent experience to share!

Joseph Stewart7 said:From what I can tell, those older kids are just calmer. I don't know how they act during class because the teacher doesn't make much of a fuss about it, but she seems pretty great. If she weren't so good—say she told me my son was constantly fidgeting while some other kid was perfectly still—it would bother me. My boy is 7, and if that other kid was 8.5, I’d definitely find that comparison unfair. And honestly, there are plenty of teachers out there who would make those kinds of comments.

As for the social side: My son used to bring quite a few classmates over to play, both boys and girls. Listening to them talk, I noticed a clear split; some are still obsessed with Mickey Mouse or Tom & Jerry, while others are already watching things like Victoria's Secret shows or Big Brother. I'm not trying to be a parent police officer or decide what's age-appropriate. I have no clue how much TV they actually watch, but I've observed how some kids get incredibly animated talking about how Jerry escaped, while others are deep in discussions about soap opera drama. Every single time, it turns out the younger kids are the ones watching cartoons, which makes them a bit more high-energy and restless (though still plenty ready for first grade).
Quincy:

I don't get the big deal about puberty either; what's the worst that could happen?

When I was a kid, I used to hang out with neighbors who were maybe two years older or younger than me. Those playdates started thinning out right around the time we hit puberty. It just felt like the gap between us had suddenly become massive. We actually started hanging out more again toward the end of high school. I can't quite put my finger on why, but at that stage of life, those couple of years really mattered.
Bottom line, nothing catastrophic is going to happen (and I wasn't suggesting it was a disaster when I posted). Likewise, nothing terrible will happen if a child starts school on time, provided no one besides the parents sees a reason to delay it.

It’s not just that older kids seem calmer; it’s more about the fact that they actually get enough chances to burn off energy. They have way more opportunities to move around and really satisfy that physical need to stay active.
As we get older, that constant need to be on the move starts to taper off a bit. I find myself gravitating more toward quieter, more low-key activities lately. But I’ve noticed something interesting: the more freedom they have to run around and burn off all that energy while they're young, the easier it is for them to actually sit still later on—whether they're sitting through a school lesson, watching a play, or catching a movie at the local cinema. It's like if they get it out of their system early, they're much better at finding that calm focus when it actually matters.

When it comes to their interests, my daughter is in a mixed-age group at her preschool, which covers everything from toddlers up to about seven-year-olds. It’s actually pretty interesting to watch—some things they all love doing together, while other activities really highlight how much they differ. Even within the specific age brackets, like the 3-to-4-year-olds versus the older 6-to-7-year-olds, you can see such a wide range in their hobbies and how they process things cognitively. It's a lot of different personalities under one roof! 🤷
Plus, the teachers organize all these group activities where everyone participates together. It honestly looks wonderful, and both groups end up benefiting from it.

I don't actually watch Violeta or Big Brother; we watch those at home, and I think that has much more to do with parenting than whether a child starts school early or not.
The whole debate about delaying school only really matters if you're worried about your kid just staying home and absorbing whatever random stuff they pick up. If you keep them in preschool a bit longer, you actually get more control over what they’re watching on TV.😂

Susan James said:If she were to go to school in New Zealand—like what Susan James mentioned earlier—I’d honestly be totally fine sending her there with nothing but a 5G connection.
Honestly, I still feel like preschools are a much better option than elementary schools around here. In my experience, the early childhood centers just seem to offer a more nurturing environment before kids get thrown into the deep end of the formal school system.

I'm not entirely sure about my English, but back when I "lived" over there for about a month during the last century, my aunt had three kids. The youngest was always hanging around the house, while the middle one and the oldest were both off at school.
If my memory serves me right, she was only about six years old when she started middle school. Honestly, it felt just like our local preschools back home—they didn't really do anything differently. It was all about drawing, singing, and playing. There weren't any actual grades, just the occasional "good job" or a little sticker to keep them motivated. I'm pretty sure she wasn't even doing any real homework at home during that time. 🤷
Our youngest hasn't started preschool yet because, honestly, the childcare costs around here are just astronomical. We’re actually waiting until they turn five when kindergarten becomes mandatory and free. At that point, the only thing we'll have to worry about is paying for lunch, or we can just pack a bag from home.
I only used to see my older sister on the weekends—back when I was still out wandering around town all day. I have a feeling she might have been staying at some kind of boarding school, or maybe her school schedule just kept her busy from sunrise to sunset. 🤔

I’d love to hear from anyone who has some recent experience to share!

It’s not just that older kids seem calmer; it’s more about the fact that they actually get enough chances to burn off energy. They have way more opportunities to move around and really satisfy that physical need to stay active.
As we get older, that constant need to be on the move starts to taper off a bit. I find myself gravitating more toward quieter, more low-key activities lately. But I’ve noticed something interesting: the more freedom they have to run around and burn off all that energy while they're young, the easier it is for them to actually sit still later on—whether they're sitting through a school lesson, watching a play, or catching a movie at the local cinema. It's like if they get it out of their system early, they're much better at finding that calm focus when it actually matters.

When it comes to their interests, my daughter is in a mixed-age group at her preschool, which covers everything from toddlers up to about seven-year-olds. It’s actually pretty interesting to watch—some things they all love doing together, while other activities really highlight how much they differ. Even within the specific age brackets, like the 3-to-4-year-olds versus the older 6-to-7-year-olds, you can see such a wide range in their hobbies and how they process things cognitively. It's a lot of different personalities under one roof! 🤷
Plus, the teachers organize all these group activities where everyone participates together. It honestly looks wonderful, and both groups end up benefiting from it.

I don't actually watch Violeta or Big Brother; we watch those at home, and I think that has much more to do with parenting than whether a child starts school early or not.
The whole debate about delaying school only really matters if you're worried about your kid just staying home and absorbing whatever random stuff they pick up. If you keep them in preschool a bit longer, you actually get more control over what they’re watching on TV.😂

Like I mentioned before, I have no clue how they behave during class since the teacher hasn't said anything about it. My observations come from seeing them at our place or watching them during recess from our window, which looks right out over the school playground. Those older kids really do seem to have a much lower drive to be constantly moving.

Regarding interests, my daughter is in a mixed-age preschool group for ages 3 to 7. Sometimes their interests overlap, sometimes they diverge, and even within the 6-7 bracket, the kids vary wildly in both hobbies and cognitive development, much like those in the 3-4 group.🤷
And yeah, the teachers lead certain activities for everyone together, which actually looks lovely and benefits both age groups.

My son was also in a mixed group, and I know it can look wonderful. I'm not claiming it won't work, nor am I saying things will get worse; I'm just pointing out that having more older kids definitely shifts the classroom dynamic. Since quite a few people (who don't even know my kid) have asked why we didn't opt for delayed school entry just because it's the current trend, I'll say this: if you want to follow trends, go ahead, but it's dishonest to act like it doesn't affect anyone else when it clearly does.

Violeta doesn't watch Big Brother, because that's what we watch at home, and that's tied to parenting, not school enrollment.
Actually, regarding delaying school, the only connection there is if you don't want your child stuck at home alone watching whatever pops up on screen, or if you want to keep them in daycare longer to maintain more control over their TV content.😂

Again, this is just my observation from my son's class. It might just be a coincidence that parents of the older kids happen to be more liberal about TV time. Personally, I know my child Violeta isn't interested, as she turns the TV off the moment she sees it; when something actually catches her eye, she begs her aunt to let her watch. In a year, I'll see if that's due to how we raised her or if her interests just shift naturally.

Kids over there don't just sit quietly at a desk trying to learn how to write or do math at age four or five. They're actually tackling things here that we usually don't see until preschool. That’s really what it's all about.

silentraven6 said:Yeah, within their school system, that's completely standard.

But here? We need a massive overhaul first.

A five-and-a-half-year-old definitely doesn't have the attention span to sit there like a soldier for hours on end. They can barely organize themselves at 6 or 7. Name one parent who’s going to drop off a 5.5-year-old and then leave a 7.5-year-old home alone for hours just because there’s no after-school care. People are giving me grief right now because my kid stays home for two hours or walks home from school by himself, and he'll be 8 soon enough!

Even a seven-year-old doesn't have the attention span to sit still like a statue for hours.
I've been told that the average kid that age can only focus on one thing for about 15 minutes, which is why school periods are usually structured to be broken down into smaller chunks.
I’m assuming for five-year-olds, the lessons are even more segmented and probably involve way more time spent running around outside.

That said, I don't see any reason why a five-year-old shouldn't start doing things other than just coloring, running around, or playing with Play-Doh.
Every kid I've met around that age, regardless of how smart they are, seems to start developing that specific "school-oriented" interest.
I guess that happens earlier now than it did for our generation, mostly because they're growing up in a completely different world.

Raymond Jones8 said:Daisy
So, wait... are you telling me five-year-olds over in the USA have classes that start at 8:00 AM, run until maybe 10:45 or 11:30, and then they just... head home? Like, they just sit there waiting for their parents to finish work?
Or am I totally misreading this? Maybe it’s just mentioning the age they start school and nothing else about the actual schedule?

I haven't actually asked how long their classes last, or if they're in school all day or if they finish at 11:30 and go to after-school care or get picked up by a nanny.
I'll try to find out when I get a chance and let you know. 😉

I do know that at age five, they start what's officially called "school" (as opposed to preschool), where they actually learn curriculum that gets graded.

A friend's little one started halfway through the second semester because they allowed her to enroll late; the only difference was their grading system, where they evaluate "mastery of material compared to peers," so she's currently at an 80%, which is actually an amazing score.

Of course, their school system isn't identical to ours—it's impossible for two different school systems to be exactly the same.

However, I highly doubt their elementary school is anything like their preschool, otherwise, I don't see why a five-year-old would need to move from a preschool building to a school building.

Joseph Stewart7 said:Like I mentioned before, I have no clue how they behave during class since the teacher hasn't said anything about it. My observations come from seeing them at our place or watching them during recess from our window, which looks right out over the school playground. Those older kids really do seem to have a much lower drive to be constantly moving.

Regarding interests, my daughter is in a mixed-age preschool group for ages 3 to 7. Sometimes their interests overlap, sometimes they diverge, and even within the 6-7 bracket, the kids vary wildly in both hobbies and cognitive development, much like those in the 3-4 group.🤷
And yeah, the teachers lead certain activities for everyone together, which actually looks lovely and benefits both age groups.

My son was also in a mixed group, and I know it can look wonderful. I'm not claiming it won't work, nor am I saying things will get worse; I'm just pointing out that having more older kids definitely shifts the classroom dynamic. Since quite a few people (who don't even know my kid) have asked why we didn't opt for delayed school entry just because it's the current trend, I'll say this: if you want to follow trends, go ahead, but it's dishonest to act like it doesn't affect anyone else when it clearly does.

Violeta doesn't watch Big Brother, because that's what we watch at home, and that's tied to parenting, not school enrollment.
Actually, regarding delaying school, the only connection there is if you don't want your child stuck at home alone watching whatever pops up on screen, or if you want to keep them in daycare longer to maintain more control over their TV content.😂

Again, this is just my observation from my son's class. It might just be a coincidence that parents of the older kids happen to be more liberal about TV time. Personally, I know my child Violeta isn't interested, as she turns the TV off the moment she sees it; when something actually catches her eye, she begs her aunt to let her watch. In a year, I'll see if that's due to how we raised her or if her interests just shift naturally.

It’s definitely a trend.
Honestly, it probably depends on the specific city, the preschool, or even just the specific teaching staff you're dealing with.
I’m living in Cleveland, and at the preschool I go to, this is a massive trend that everyone—from the teachers to the school psychologist and even the school nurse—is totally on board with.

rowdypanther12 said:Kids over there don't just sit quietly at a desk trying to learn how to write or do math at age four or five. They're actually tackling things here that we usually don't see until preschool. That’s really what it's all about.

A friend of mine lives in Italy, and her little one started school at five and a half; she swears the curriculum is incredibly demanding.
He’s in fourth grade now, and she’s super happy with the quality of his education and how much he's actually learning, feeling like the Italian school system is way more rigorous than ours.

At the end of the day, I’m all for letting every family make their own individual choice.
It doesn't really bother me when people decide to send their kids to school early or not.

What actually bugs me is this narrative about a "cruel" school system that's supposedly crushing little kids, because from watching the kids I know who are already in school, nothing seems nearly as traumatic or overwhelming as people make it out to be.

Plus, since we're talking about focus and concentration, some teacher friends of mine tell me that those issues pop up even in middle school, where kids struggle to keep up with history or English because they just can't handle reading longer texts.

So, if we follow that logic, should we just wait until they're twenty to send them to school, or maybe never? 😁

I don't know much about Italy, Daisy; I only really know about the northern countries and America.
I just got an email from a local childcare center about seven-year-olds and the start of actual, serious schooling. Basically, everything I've heard about early mandatory education is just that—one or two years of institutionalized preschool. Call them mini-schools if you want.
There aren't any assignments, problem-solving, or rote memorization involved.
Maybe Italy is the exception, but looking at how their government functions, I'm sure it's just great that kids are expected to learn multiplication tables at five and a half.

In the Netherlands, kids start school when they're just four, and by age six, they’re already deep into the heavy lifting. They actually pick up certain concepts way ahead of what we see here in the States—for instance, I think they’re already tackling numbers by the time they turn five.

Daisy, I don't have anything against those systems personally. I’ve got my own gripes, sure, but honestly? Our school system is dealing with so many massive issues right now that we really need to fix those first before even talking about decisions like this. It almost feels wrong to even bring it up so casually when there's so much more pressing stuff on the table.

rowdypanther12 said:I don't know much about Italy, Daisy; I only really know about the northern countries and America.
I just got an email from a local childcare center about seven-year-olds and the start of actual, serious schooling. Basically, everything I've heard about early mandatory education is just that—one or two years of institutionalized preschool. Call them mini-schools if you want.
There aren't any assignments, problem-solving, or rote memorization involved.
Maybe Italy is the exception, but looking at how their government functions, I'm sure it's just great that kids are expected to learn multiplication tables at five and a half.

That period between ages 5 and 7 isn't really daycare in the way we usually think about it. Legally, it’s required, and from what I’ve gathered while skimming some stuff online, it functions more like "pre-K," but not in our sense where a kid just hangs out at daycare playing with toy cars, drawing, and running around the playground before having a single hour of "pre-school" worksheets. It’s structured specifically as a school designed for kids that age.

Check this out:
WA. state is changing the kindergarten classes from 1/2 day to full day. The world is changing. How do you feel about that change going from 3 1/2 hours to over 6 hours a day? I think it is too long of a day for a 5 to 6 year olds.

That clearly isn't anything like the preschool experience we have in our daycares.

Honestly, the labels "preschool" or "school" aren't even the main point here. The real issue is that over here, a child stays in daycare until they're 7, mixed in with 3 and 4-year-olds, whereas elsewhere, the line for separating kids by age is being moved lower, giving children age-appropriate tasks—and let's be real, kids at that age are capable of quite a lot.
Nobody is sitting a 5-year-old down to learn multiplication tables unless the average kid that age actually has the capacity to grasp it.
And if they *can* handle it, why wouldn't we teach them?

I don't see the issue with learning and assignments; if kids are developing normally and don't have concentration issues, they're actually totally open to it and can't wait to show they can do things.

The only thing is, if the argument is that Disney thinks our schools are the absolute worst in the world... 🤷
I get the feeling it's all just trends. It used to be that everyone was pushing for early enrollment, and now everyone is suddenly looking for ways to delay it.

My parents were actually pretty ahead of their time; they suggested enrolling me earlier, but they wouldn't hear of it 🙂 😂

I don't know, maybe I just see things differently because our preschool group has been together for seven years. They’re doing so many "serious" activities and learning so much this year that I honestly never worry about my kid falling behind or getting bored.
Personally, I'm not a fan of the whole "sit still and complete tasks" concept. I get that's just how school works—it was the same way when I was a kid—but that doesn't really change my mind.
I truly feel like kids in school don't move nearly enough and spend way too much time sitting passively.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against school itself. In fact, I absolutely loved it, and I just hope my little one loves it at least half as much, and for twice as long as I did.😂

Daisy, I definitely wasn't implying that our school system or schools in general are the absolute worst on the planet—I wouldn't say that about the German or English systems either, despite all their flaws and shortcomings.

What I see as the real issue is how people try to address potential improvements using nothing but Band-Aid solutions.

It’s like, "Sure, let's introduce this one thing, maybe we'll fix something, but whatever you do, don't touch the foundation."

From my perspective, here is what's actually missing if we want to build the kind of school environment both you and I dream about:

1. The physical space itself; there just isn't enough room.
2. The size and overall layout of the classrooms.
3. A lack of funding to make real changes (actually, it's not even a lack of funds, it's more like a total lack of interest from the governing bodies to ever invest properly in the education system).
4. Inadequate training for current teachers, and honestly, for future ones too.
5. Outdated teaching methods that are still stubbornly stuck in the classroom (with lecture-style teaching remaining the bedrock).
6. A general lack of interest within the profession to work differently, combined with the fact that they've basically been administratively hamstrung by the system itself.
7. The way our labor market is set up, plus the reality that we don't have the resources to pay for childcare over holidays for five-year-olds.
8. The textbook publishing lobbies, which are a cancer on education.
9. The fact that, as a nation, we are often uneducated, poorly educated, or just uninterested in anyone's progress except our own—we tend to view everyone else's success with suspicion (I admit, that's a bit of a cliché).
10. Corruption among the administrative leadership in the education system and their general incompetence when it comes to managing people and resources, fostering a positive workspace, making parents and kids feel welcome, encouraging self-actualization, or avoiding forcing every child into the exact same mold...

And last, but not least, the absolute martyr complex held by an entire profession that has spent a century portraying itself as the most downtrodden segment of our population, all while staying silent about obvious failures in staff selection and training.

So, I'm really not surprised when people advocate for delaying school entry, especially since children globally are starting earlier because they mature faster with all the technology and content available to them today.

To pull all of this off without institutionalizing children at such a young age, we would also need laws that encourage mothers and fathers to stay home with their kids or work reduced hours. We need to foster a freelance-friendly environment. To me, what kids need most in those early years is a core foundation provided by family. No matter how good a school system is, it can never replace that, because that's where all successes and failures begin. But around here, thinking like that is dismissed as being either old-fashioned or purely utopian.

silentraven6 said:Daisy, I definitely wasn't implying that our school system or schools in general are the absolute worst on the planet—I wouldn't say that about the German or English systems either, despite all their flaws and shortcomings.

What I see as the real issue is how people try to address potential improvements using nothing but Band-Aid solutions.

It’s like, "Sure, let's introduce this one thing, maybe we'll fix something, but whatever you do, don't touch the foundation."

From my perspective, here is what's actually missing if we want to build the kind of school environment both you and I dream about:

1. The physical space itself; there just isn't enough room.
2. The size and overall layout of the classrooms.
3. A lack of funding to make real changes (actually, it's not even a lack of funds, it's more like a total lack of interest from the governing bodies to ever invest properly in the education system).
4. Inadequate training for current teachers, and honestly, for future ones too.
5. Outdated teaching methods that are still stubbornly stuck in the classroom (with lecture-style teaching remaining the bedrock).
6. A general lack of interest within the profession to work differently, combined with the fact that they've basically been administratively hamstrung by the system itself.
7. The way our labor market is set up, plus the reality that we don't have the resources to pay for childcare over holidays for five-year-olds.
8. The textbook publishing lobbies, which are a cancer on education.
9. The fact that, as a nation, we are often uneducated, poorly educated, or just uninterested in anyone's progress except our own—we tend to view everyone else's success with suspicion (I admit, that's a bit of a cliché).
10. Corruption among the administrative leadership in the education system and their general incompetence when it comes to managing people and resources, fostering a positive workspace, making parents and kids feel welcome, encouraging self-actualization, or avoiding forcing every child into the exact same mold...

And last, but not least, the absolute martyr complex held by an entire profession that has spent a century portraying itself as the most downtrodden segment of our population, all while staying silent about obvious failures in staff selection and training.

So, I'm really not surprised when people advocate for delaying school entry, especially since children globally are starting earlier because they mature faster with all the technology and content available to them today.

To pull all of this off without institutionalizing children at such a young age, we would also need laws that encourage mothers and fathers to stay home with their kids or work reduced hours. We need to foster a freelance-friendly environment. To me, what kids need most in those early years is a core foundation provided by family. No matter how good a school system is, it can never replace that, because that's where all successes and failures begin. But around here, thinking like that is dismissed as being either old-fashioned or purely utopian.

This is a solid post.
Honestly, it’s pretty heavy stuff too 😁

It actually ties right back into that whole conversation about school reform, because these are the exact same questions spinning around my head whenever I start thinking about restructuring the curriculum...

But, getting back to the main point: the reality is that schools have always been this way, even back when we were kids. We used to start at six, and now there's this push to delay enrollment for kids born in March (and if they keep moving the needle bit by bit, February will be next on the list). It’s kind of like how they used to push for early enrollment for anyone born between April and July—I actually had a woman, a friend's mom who started school early back in the 80s, tell me just recently, "Oh, she wasn't even early," since her daughter was born only a month and a half after the cutoff.

So, is it that schools have fundamentally changed and become way more intense?
That’s the big question mark for me. I hear conflicting things all the time, so I’m really just waiting to see how this all plays out 🤣 😁

Karen Richardson3 said:This is a solid post.
Honestly, it’s pretty heavy stuff too 😁

It actually ties right back into that whole conversation about school reform, because these are the exact same questions spinning around my head whenever I start thinking about restructuring the curriculum...

But, getting back to the main point: the reality is that schools have always been this way, even back when we were kids. We used to start at six, and now there's this push to delay enrollment for kids born in March (and if they keep moving the needle bit by bit, February will be next on the list). It’s kind of like how they used to push for early enrollment for anyone born between April and July—I actually had a woman, a friend's mom who started school early back in the 80s, tell me just recently, "Oh, she wasn't even early," since her daughter was born only a month and a half after the cutoff.

So, is it that schools have fundamentally changed and become way more intense?
That’s the big question mark for me. I hear conflicting things all the time, so I’m really just waiting to see how this all plays out 🤣 😁

Daisy, look, you're a historian. The zeitgeist has shifted. People's mindsets, the way we work, the timing of everything—it's all moved. School has changed too (some parts for the better, some for the worse, and frankly, some vital pieces haven't changed at all, which isn't great).

Everything is different.

Back in the day, teachers didn't have a hard time because they could just tell the parents, and they knew the kid would get a lecture (or a beating) at home. They basically acted as the bridge between the parents and the discipline. Nowadays, you see people longing for the "good old days" when a teacher would just send a note home and the kid would be terrified to even sit in their seat the next morning.

But nothing has changed regarding the fact that they're stuck with these rigid 45-minute blocks and five-minute breaks. And kids are spending ten hours a day in after-school programs. When were you ever stuck in an after-school program for ten hours?

Starting a new thread here...

I'm curious—how did your kids handle the delay? How did they take the fact that all their little friends started kindergarten while they’re still stuck hanging out at preschool?

My child was right in the middle of the age bracket, so there really wasn't any practical reason to delay their start.

However, I found myself teetering on that age threshold myself back then, and my parents insisted on—and successfully secured—a year of deferment for me. It was all due to what they deemed "emotional immaturity," which was really just a polite way of saying I was far too prone to tears.
I still vividly recall the fallout when they told me; it was pure misery, just days of weeping and feeling utterly wretched. Yet, looking back, that extra year in preschool was actually my saving grace, as it meant I wasn't targeted by the older kids anymore. 🙂

But then elementary school arrived, and once again, I felt like a complete outsider. There were only two other students older than me, both of whom had been held back for good reason. Meanwhile, I stood out for all the wrong reasons—I was the tallest girl in class and among the largest. On top of that, I was the one who could read most fluently, write multi-page stories, and breeze through math from addition to division... it was essentially a perfect storm of traits to be mocked for, especially whenever I broke down. Eventually, though, I suppose I just grew a thicker skin and stopped crying so often.

Brian Jones8 said:Starting a new thread here...

I'm curious—how did your kids handle the delay? How did they take the fact that all their little friends started kindergarten while they’re still stuck hanging out at preschool?

Honestly, if there’s a good reason for the delay—and you truly feel it’s the right call—don't let it weigh on you too much. It might be a tiny bit sad for them at first, seeing their friends move on, but really...
Down the road, once they're settled in school, they'll actually be thanking you for it.

I ended up doing the same thing myself... I was just so young and tiny back then, and the local school was such a trek from home.
I was always one of the oldest in my class, yet somehow still the smallest—it was a strange balance! But even so, I was consistently among the top students, and honestly, nobody ever teased me about it...

The delay actually makes sense when you look at the big picture... we're dealing with speech issues, focus problems, and—let's be honest—emotional immaturity.

I can't help but worry about how this whole thing is going to hit him down the road, but hey, what's done is done... 🕺

Brian Jones8 said:Starting a new thread here...

I'm curious—how did your kids handle the delay? How did they take the fact that all their little friends started kindergarten while they’re still stuck hanging out at preschool?

My kid didn't technically get "held back" since she was born in May, but most of her old preschool crew moved on to kindergarten a full year before her. During her last year of preschool, they lumped her into this big mixed group with all the other kids who weren't starting school yet, and honestly? She absolutely loved it. She actually made some awesome little besties in that group.
To be totally real, I was freaking out when everyone else was heading off to school. I kept worrying she’d be constantly bugging me, like, "Mom, why am't I going to school yet?" And since our local YMCA programs were mostly geared toward the older preschoolers, I thought she’d feel left out and miserable. But man, was I wrong. It was actually the exact opposite. She was smart enough to realize, "Hey, I'm not a pre-K kid yet, I'll go next year," and she figured out that whatever the older kids were doing, she’d get to do it a year later. She actually picked up on the difference too—she noticed the older kids had different worksheets and more structured tasks. Honestly, she clearly preferred just having more time to play 🙂 this year.

We’re officially first graders now, and looking back, that extra year in preschool made a massive difference in terms of her maturity and just being ready for the grind of school. She was practically counting down the days until she could finally start. She isn't the oldest kid in her class by any means, but she sits right there with the older crowd and hasn't run into a single issue so far.

Brian Jones8 said:The delay actually makes sense when you look at the big picture... we're dealing with speech issues, focus problems, and—let's be honest—emotional immaturity.

I can't help but worry about how this whole thing is going to hit him down the road, but hey, what's done is done... 🕺

You should really look into the preschool situation first—see what the group dynamic is like. Check if most kids are moving on or staying, who he might end up being grouped with, and what kind of environment he'll be stepping into.

When it comes to delaying school entry, those mixed-age groups can be wonderful; they usually split things pretty evenly, with half moving up and half staying behind.

Whatever you decide, try to explain to him why practicing these new skills now will make his transition to elementary school much smoother. Also, see if there are any kids he can stay friends with—maybe connect with some of the other parents and set up a playdate or a birthday party. I don't mean you should force friendships, but having those social connections during such a big transition period can really help.
And definitely give the preschool a heads-up as soon as possible (if they don't know already) so they can try to group kids with similar interests together. Anything is possible if you have the time and the willingness to coordinate.

My kid turns six in three months, and I’m considering waiting until she’s 6.5 before starting school...

She’s mature, calm, stays focused on tasks, and can already read and write simple things—numbers up to 30, colors, directions, word synthesis, analysis, spelling, etc.
Emotionally, she’s right where she needs to be.

I have an older daughter who’s currently in third grade... and the gap between them is massive in every way—maturity, knowledge, focus...

The only real issue is her pronunciation of certain sounds.

We saw a psychologist and a speech therapist at Savannah, and now she’s started regular sessions with a speech therapist there.

The psychologist’s take is that her concentration and maturity levels are more like those of a seven-year-old (even though she’s only 5.5), but they still advised delaying enrollment because she’s right on the edge—plus the speech issues.
However, she also pointed out that every psychologist is going to recommend delaying; it seems to be their standard stance that starting later is always the safer bet.

To be honest, I never even considered delaying for my younger one because she’s just so ready.

But given how much struggle and effort I had to put in with my older girl during first grade—she didn't start until she was a full seven—I’m wondering if I should push for a delay anyway. My oldest had constant issues with word synthesis, analysis, and spelling, and needed speech therapy too.

I'm thinking about heading back to the psychologist in three months to get a fresh evaluation at Savannah.

Though, part of me worries she'll be bored out of her mind in first grade. She’ll basically be a double preschooler, and she already knows half of what they teach in the first grade curriculum.

My kid is right on the edge. He’s supposed to start kindergarten this fall with a 6.5 GPA equivalent.
He gets logic, synthesis, reading, writing—all that. But patience? Zero.
Whatever he starts, he's onto the next thing in 10 or 15 minutes (unless he's playing with Legos, then he'll go all day 😁). Trying to get any info out of him about what he did in preschool or music class is a total battle. And once he hits that wall where he thinks he can't do something? Good luck getting him to change his mind. Honestly, I’d love to hold him back a year, but I’m worried about how he'll take it since all his buddies are moving on. He’s the youngest in the group. His friends will all be nearly 8 when they start school. Where can I get a private developmental assessment before the official school district testing kicks in? I don't trust the admins during enrollment; it feels like the trend here is just to push everyone through because they need the numbers to fill the classrooms.