The Winner's Mindset

Has this topic already been picked clean?
They tell you: believe in yourself and your own potential, and that’s how you build a winner's mindset. Just decide what you want, go get it, and if you just keep grinding, you’ll come out on top.
When I first stepped into the competitive sports scene about ten years ago, I was carrying a total loser mentality. I didn't see myself as someone who could actually make it as an athlete, and honestly, that baggage just bled into every other part of my life.
I was convinced I wasn't the best and wouldn't ever become it. I looked at all these guys my age—more social, better looking, more athletic, more driven, more gutsy—and felt like I was just some random guy who wandered into the wrong room.
Why didn't I just dig in?

Why did I dodge every opportunity, like skipping out on those summer training camps or avoiding tournaments because I could already feel the sting of losing before I even showed up?
And even when I actually pulled off a win, I didn't feel that rush or that sense of pride you're supposed to feel.
Why?
Even though people were constantly telling me I was a standout or one of the "serious" guys in the club, inside I was terrified and basically had zero self-esteem.
I hated socializing, and I sure as hell didn't want to succeed just because someone else gave me a little "push."

Back in high school, I didn't want to be the star. I didn't want the spotlight. It just didn't feel like my lane. crimsonpuma23, you can answer for grade 5—actually, don't bother, just stick to grade 4.

I never felt like I was special at anything. Whether it was drawing, singing, math, or gym class, nothing clicked. I wasn't even happy with my own handwriting.

Was I basically hardcoding a loser mentality into my brain? And if so, how do I flip the switch now? I'm 23, and what have I actually accomplished? All I've gotten good at is running away from things.

So even after binge-watching endless motivational videos and listening to all that generic advice, I still feel this massive resistance toward winning.
What's your take? Is this something that can be viewed in black and white, or is a person's mindset a much more complicated spectrum than that?

This is such a great topic, and honestly, it’s perfect timing since we’re right on the doorstep of the World Cup in Brazil.

So, which angle are you leaning toward? Are we looking at this through a sports lens to find a winner, or are we diving into the artistic side? Or maybe the money side? What do you think?

Ha, I’m just looking for a bird's-eye view here. Or maybe just a little bit of everything. 🙂
Since you brought up Brazil, I honestly don't have a shred of faith that America could ever take home a world championship title. But hey, what do I know? 😁

If someone is hell-bent on proving that 2+2 doesn't equal 4, then they’re basically pulling a Sisyphus. Honestly, I’d tell them to just throw in the towel already.
How are you even supposed to tell if you've actually struck gold and found the winning streak worth chasing??

And what even defines a win??

To be real with you, I get that I'm constantly tripping myself up by making excuses that turn into actual roadblocks.
But when you're wandering around without a compass, it just makes the burnout hit way harder. It’s especially tough for me to drum up that grit within myself, my family, or even my inner circle..

To all the women reading this: I’ve been hit by just about every brick in the wall, but I guess I’m just stubborn enough to keep getting back up.

1. Never give up—classic advice from my old man (and he’s an idiot)
2. You have to believe in yourself—more nonsense from Dad
3. Better days are coming—stuff Mom says (she's clueless)
4. "Wish for good, think good." Honestly, the dumbest proverb ever. You want success? Someone will screw you over before you even get started, writing you up or shutting you down without having the slightest clue what you're actually going through. They don't even look at the work you've put in!
5. "Give and it will come back to you." I’d love to take a swing at whoever came up with that. And I'm not even a fighter. From my own experience, I give six times more than I ever get back... I've never once seen the universe settle the score.

- All I can say is: I can build enough to feed you for a lifetime.

Like I said in my last post, stop being so dependent on those tiny little social circles of twenty people. There are eight billion people on this planet. Break out of that bubble and find a new one.

Reviews, ratings, and all that crap? It’s the downfall of our society. That whole system was designed by the people running the show to breed "better" citizens. It's exactly how they raise livestock in a factory farm.

To me, winning isn't some kind of sprint. It's a marathon.

It’s really about that mix of pure grit and actual desire—making sure there's a real purpose behind the win.

There is a massive difference between a quick fix and that deep satisfaction you get from actually grinding for something.

Think about it. You see musicians or pro athletes writing their memoirs, and they always talk about those endless, sleepless nights.

Sometimes, you just find this weirdly better focus once the clock hits midnight.

But man, you have to stay persistent. And honestly? That's such a huge, complicated topic to dive into.

Why is staying the course easy for some people, but an absolute struggle for others?

rowdyharbor15 said:To all the women reading this: I’ve been hit by just about every brick in the wall, but I guess I’m just stubborn enough to keep getting back up.

1. Never give up—classic advice from my old man (and he’s an idiot)
2. You have to believe in yourself—more nonsense from Dad
3. Better days are coming—stuff Mom says (she's clueless)
4. "Wish for good, think good." Honestly, the dumbest proverb ever. You want success? Someone will screw you over before you even get started, writing you up or shutting you down without having the slightest clue what you're actually going through. They don't even look at the work you've put in!
5. "Give and it will come back to you." I’d love to take a swing at whoever came up with that. And I'm not even a fighter. From my own experience, I give six times more than I ever get back... I've never once seen the universe settle the score.

- All I can say is: I can build enough to feed you for a lifetime.

Like I said in my last post, stop being so dependent on those tiny little social circles of twenty people. There are eight billion people on this planet. Break out of that bubble and find a new one.

Reviews, ratings, and all that crap? It’s the downfall of our society. That whole system was designed by the people running the show to breed "better" citizens. It's exactly how they raise livestock in a factory farm.

So you're seriously telling me that all those "grind harder" success stories are nothing more than total clichés?

Carl Rivera43 said:To me, winning isn't some kind of sprint. It's a marathon.

It’s really about that mix of pure grit and actual desire—making sure there's a real purpose behind the win.

There is a massive difference between a quick fix and that deep satisfaction you get from actually grinding for something.

Think about it. You see musicians or pro athletes writing their memoirs, and they always talk about those endless, sleepless nights.

Sometimes, you just find this weirdly better focus once the clock hits midnight.

But man, you have to stay persistent. And honestly? That's such a huge, complicated topic to dive into.

Why is staying the course easy for some people, but an absolute struggle for others?

Everything just goes quiet once night hits. All that mindless daytime noise finally dies down, and honestly, there’s nothing better than just being alone with your own head and your own thoughts. Even I’m sitting here typing this up in the dead silence of my room—nothing but me and my brain.

Man, you could go on forever about what "persistence" actually means... maybe some people just grind harder because they're built different—tougher and more resilient, like rowdyharbor15 was saying. 😁

Grit and resilience? You can't just buy those; you earn them through experience.

Here’s another big point worth mentioning. Think about people who grew up playing sports or studying music from a young age. By the time they hit high school, they usually have way more confidence. They’ve built a network, made connections, and honestly, they just have more doors opening for them because of it.

In a way, it makes their path a little smoother. All those sacrifices they had to make early on actually pay off in the long run.

But, you know how it goes. Sometimes, when that sudden fame or wealth hits, people lose their heads. Instead of staying grounded, they dive headfirst into things they could never touch before. In those moments of massive success, they tend to go overboard, almost like they're trying to make up for everything they missed out on in the past.

crimsonpuma23 said:So you're seriously telling me that all those "grind harder" success stories are nothing more than total clichés?

Everything just goes quiet once night hits. All that mindless daytime noise finally dies down, and honestly, there’s nothing better than just being alone with your own head and your own thoughts. Even I’m sitting here typing this up in the dead silence of my room—nothing but me and my brain.

Man, you could go on forever about what "persistence" actually means... maybe some people just grind harder because they're built different—tougher and more resilient, like rowdyharbor15 was saying. 😁

Those aren't clichés; they're just the nonsense of a civilized society. Bureaucratic bullshit... filling out form after form just to prove you actually know what you're doing...

"Break a leg, but don't give up"?
"Never lose hope"? You mean dig yourself into a hole for the rest of your life chasing a dream that's never going to happen?
Lose hope about what exactly? That your professor hates your guts and won't pass you?

You stay tough until you hit the top. And when you can't move forward, even those types retreat into isolation to think things through. It looks like a mountain of successful Rockefellers who started out working with their hands and then vanished into seclusion to plan their next move... clearly, they just hit a wall with their public image.

Solitude is basically just training for being public. But let's be real—in this age of constant internet pings, iPads, and endless hackers, finding any actual peace and quiet is way harder than it used to be.

crimsonpuma23 said:Has this topic already been picked clean?
They tell you: believe in yourself and your own potential, and that’s how you build a winner's mindset. Just decide what you want, go get it, and if you just keep grinding, you’ll come out on top.
When I first stepped into the competitive sports scene about ten years ago, I was carrying a total loser mentality. I didn't see myself as someone who could actually make it as an athlete, and honestly, that baggage just bled into every other part of my life.
I was convinced I wasn't the best and wouldn't ever become it. I looked at all these guys my age—more social, better looking, more athletic, more driven, more gutsy—and felt like I was just some random guy who wandered into the wrong room.
Why didn't I just dig in?

Why did I dodge every opportunity, like skipping out on those summer training camps or avoiding tournaments because I could already feel the sting of losing before I even showed up?
And even when I actually pulled off a win, I didn't feel that rush or that sense of pride you're supposed to feel.
Why?
Even though people were constantly telling me I was a standout or one of the "serious" guys in the club, inside I was terrified and basically had zero self-esteem.
I hated socializing, and I sure as hell didn't want to succeed just because someone else gave me a little "push."

Back in high school, I didn't want to be the star. I didn't want the spotlight. It just didn't feel like my lane. crimsonpuma23, you can answer for grade 5—actually, don't bother, just stick to grade 4.

I never felt like I was special at anything. Whether it was drawing, singing, math, or gym class, nothing clicked. I wasn't even happy with my own handwriting.

Was I basically hardcoding a loser mentality into my brain? And if so, how do I flip the switch now? I'm 23, and what have I actually accomplished? All I've gotten good at is running away from things.

So even after binge-watching endless motivational videos and listening to all that generic advice, I still feel this massive resistance toward winning.
What's your take? Is this something that can be viewed in black and white, or is a person's mindset a much more complicated spectrum than that?

Look, I used to be the kid retaking math and English classes, and now here I am—a full-blown IT Support pro working exclusively for international clients.

Am I happy about it? Am I successful?
Success isn't really what people think it is, but I definitely pushed way further than anyone expected me to.

And you know why? Some might call me a sociopath, others a psychopath, but honestly, I just realize that life is a game you either play until the very end or you don't play at all...

If I ever have grandkids of my own, then maybe I'll finally call myself a successful man.

on this topic

That guy from Target is only happy when he’s winning. His worst nightmare is just not coming out on top... then he goes absolutely feral for the win. Honestly, when you see someone walk away from their career, they probably made the right call by saving their sanity before things went south. It’s the same as when a woman loses her mind over some random guy—or when a man spends his whole life chasing a woman he’ll never actually have.

If you aren't about that Target mindset, I don't even know why you're in sports or who talked you into this. You haven't even figured out if you're meant to be the support system for someone else or something else entirely. Everyone carries their own baggage onto the ice.

Joshua Adams41 said:Look, I used to be the kid retaking math and English classes, and now here I am—a full-blown IT Support pro working exclusively for international clients.

Am I happy about it? Am I successful?
Success isn't really what people think it is, but I definitely pushed way further than anyone expected me to.

And you know why? Some might call me a sociopath, others a psychopath, but honestly, I just realize that life is a game you either play until the very end or you don't play at all...

If I ever have grandkids of my own, then maybe I'll finally call myself a successful man.

Between 20 and 30, you're basically building a career on autopilot (unless your dad sets the course for you).

The person who actually builds something starts from scratch; the ones who don't, they never really get going.

Besides, not every career path is actually worth the money...

What rowdyharbor15 is getting at is that you first need to temporarily distance yourself from that narrow social circle you grew up in... focus on yourself and sharpening your skills instead 😁

Jose Carter2 said:What rowdyharbor15 is getting at is that you first need to temporarily distance yourself from that narrow social circle you grew up in... focus on yourself and sharpening your skills instead 😁

So, check out what a standard-issue motivational video looks like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EA35AXfFJ8

Can stuff like this actually serve as real motivation or inspiration for your life?

rowdyharbor15 said:Between 20 and 30, you're basically building a career on autopilot (unless your dad sets the course for you).

The person who actually builds something starts from scratch; the ones who don't, they never really get going.

Besides, not every career path is actually worth the money...

Look, if you’re out there chasing some big dream without a father figure to point you in the right direction, you’d better realize one thing: you’re basically walking around like a ghost before you’ve even kicked the bucket. It’s like trying to navigate a dense forest in the middle of the night without a compass or a flashlight. You think you're making progress? You're just wandering in circles until you hit a tree. Without that guidance, that foundational steering, you're effectively dead on arrival. You might be breathing, sure, but you're already gone.

Anyone who can't wrap their head around the fact that death is inevitable honestly has nothing better to do with their life. They can go ahead and cry about it on YouTube because they can't find a job.
It’s a choice, really. You either stand your ground, or you spend your entire life bending the knee to the system. It’s that classic, fundamental struggle. You can fight to maintain your integrity, or you can just let the machine grind you down until you're nothing more than another compliant cog in the engine. There isn't much middle ground once you realize how the gears actually turn.🙂

Running through the hills of Tennessee at high noon when it's pushing 97 degrees out...
At that point, I either need extreme sports or I’m just not risking it.
I mean, what kind of shock is that for the body? It takes me hours just to recover from the heatstroke alone..

Look, I need something hardcore just to feel like a man. Every time I headed out for a run like that, I was basically flirting with death.
But death didn't show up..
So what am I supposed to do? Just drink myself into oblivion and look like an idiot in front of my friends... and women and their boyfriends...

Go all out, brother. If you finish, you'll be walking on air; if you don't, you just overshot your limits..

crimsonpuma23 said:Has this topic already been picked clean?
They tell you: believe in yourself and your own potential, and that’s how you build a winner's mindset. Just decide what you want, go get it, and if you just keep grinding, you’ll come out on top.
When I first stepped into the competitive sports scene about ten years ago, I was carrying a total loser mentality. I didn't see myself as someone who could actually make it as an athlete, and honestly, that baggage just bled into every other part of my life.
I was convinced I wasn't the best and wouldn't ever become it. I looked at all these guys my age—more social, better looking, more athletic, more driven, more gutsy—and felt like I was just some random guy who wandered into the wrong room.
Why didn't I just dig in?

Why did I dodge every opportunity, like skipping out on those summer training camps or avoiding tournaments because I could already feel the sting of losing before I even showed up?
And even when I actually pulled off a win, I didn't feel that rush or that sense of pride you're supposed to feel.
Why?
Even though people were constantly telling me I was a standout or one of the "serious" guys in the club, inside I was terrified and basically had zero self-esteem.
I hated socializing, and I sure as hell didn't want to succeed just because someone else gave me a little "push."

Back in high school, I didn't want to be the star. I didn't want the spotlight. It just didn't feel like my lane. crimsonpuma23, you can answer for grade 5—actually, don't bother, just stick to grade 4.

I never felt like I was special at anything. Whether it was drawing, singing, math, or gym class, nothing clicked. I wasn't even happy with my own handwriting.

Was I basically hardcoding a loser mentality into my brain? And if so, how do I flip the switch now? I'm 23, and what have I actually accomplished? All I've gotten good at is running away from things.

So even after binge-watching endless motivational videos and listening to all that generic advice, I still feel this massive resistance toward winning.
What's your take? Is this something that can be viewed in black and white, or is a person's mindset a much more complicated spectrum than that?

So, if you were actually talented enough to have had those opportunities—to have potentially leveled up even further or come out on top in some arena—why just walk away from it all? Why stop wanting it? I mean, setting aside that relentless self-criticism of yours, you clearly pulled off some real results. People noticed. They gave you credit. Honestly, at that age, having people actually recognize your wins is usually just the perfect fuel for a little ego trip. It’s hard to resist.😁

I don’t know, there isn't exactly some grand philosophy at play here. Just work on yourself. Have a little more guts. If you find yourself stuck in a situation that feels subpar, don't just shrug your shoulders and accept it like it's some inevitable fate. Instead, put in the effort to actually improve things until they reach a level that meets your standards. Or, if you're one of those people who is perpetually impossible to please—which, let's face it, most of us are—then at least work until someone else tells you that what you've done is actually good.

Honestly, back in my college days, I’d occasionally walk away with a C or even a D just because of some stupid, brain-fart mistake. A little oversight here, a silly slip-up there during a midterm... it happens. It's like missing a stop sign because you were looking at a cool bird; the knowledge was there, but the execution? Not so much.
I’d honestly rather skip the grading altogether and just tell them I’ll be back in the fall to collect my A. And honestly? That’s exactly how I’ve played it every single time. It’s like a little ritual. Or take those oral exams—you know the ones, where you're hovering right on that line between a B and an A. The professor looks at you and goes, "Look, you can settle for a B, or I can throw one more curveball question at you; if you nail it, the A is yours." I just looked them dead in the eye and said, "Let's hear it."🙂

When it comes to sports, I’ve always been more of a solo player. I don't really need a crowd or a teammate to get moving. But whenever I hop on my bike and hit one of those standard routes—you know, the usual loops around town—I find myself obsessing over the clock. It’s basically just me racing against my own shadow, trying to shave a few seconds off my previous best. A little personal competition to keep things interesting, I suppose.

Maybe you should look into making some incremental improvements. Just a little tweak here, a small adjustment there... bit by bit, you start demanding more from yourself, working harder, pushing the pace just a little faster. It’s like tuning an engine; you don't just swap the whole block overnight, you fine-tune the timing until everything finally clicks.

Look, the bottom line here is that you have to make yourself the priority in that equation. You can't be bogged down by what everyone else thinks or how they might react if you happen to outshine them in a competition—even if those people are your closest friends. It’s easy to get caught up in that social friction, like trying to navigate a crowded sidewalk in NYC without bumping into anyone, but at some point, you just have to look out for your own interests. If you start playing small just to keep the peace, you're essentially sabotaging your own progress. Focus on your own lane.
Think of it this way: you can actually turn being an introvert into a bit of a tactical advantage. If you just step up and take the lead once...

Anyway, don't sweat it too much. You're only 23 🙂

crimsonpuma23 said:Ha, I’m just looking for a bird's-eye view here. Or maybe just a little bit of everything. 🙂
Since you brought up Brazil, I honestly don't have a shred of faith that America could ever take home a world championship title. But hey, what do I know? 😁

If someone is hell-bent on proving that 2+2 doesn't equal 4, then they’re basically pulling a Sisyphus. Honestly, I’d tell them to just throw in the towel already.
How are you even supposed to tell if you've actually struck gold and found the winning streak worth chasing??

And what even defines a win??

To be real with you, I get that I'm constantly tripping myself up by making excuses that turn into actual roadblocks.
But when you're wandering around without a compass, it just makes the burnout hit way harder. It’s especially tough for me to drum up that grit within myself, my family, or even my inner circle..

To me, the universal truth we need to break down is this— only the crazy win. Whether it’s pro sports, scientific breakthroughs, or whatever else, winners come in all shapes and sizes. There isn't much common ground between them, except that you could call that tiny shared spark "madness."
History is full of examples where we celebrate the lunatics as heroes.
Is that what we're actually getting at?

Carl Rivera43 said:To me, winning isn't some kind of sprint. It's a marathon.

It’s really about that mix of pure grit and actual desire—making sure there's a real purpose behind the win.

There is a massive difference between a quick fix and that deep satisfaction you get from actually grinding for something.

Think about it. You see musicians or pro athletes writing their memoirs, and they always talk about those endless, sleepless nights.

Sometimes, you just find this weirdly better focus once the clock hits midnight.

But man, you have to stay persistent. And honestly? That's such a huge, complicated topic to dive into.

Why is staying the course easy for some people, but an absolute struggle for others?

I find this entire premise fundamentally flawed; a marathon is, by definition, a race.

The French after they pulled off that 7-second miracle back in 2000 were all like, "Oh, it's just because we have a winner's mentality."

And then what happened? They couldn't find the back of the net once in 2002 and got knocked out in the group stage! 🙂

I mean, come on—that whole "mentality" thing is just some imaginary concept that has zero connection to reality.