Am I being too naive?

Hey,

It really comes down to basic human naivety—that tendency to put far too much faith in others. It’s when someone operates under the delusion that everyone around them is inherently good, kind, or well-intentioned. Or perhaps it's when a person fails to see they're being played, falling for smooth talk just to secure some perceived benefit, only to realize later they were being manipulated... It's that classic case of seeing the world through rose-colored glasses when, in reality, life is much harsher than that.

So, here is my question,

is this level of naivety something hardwired into our DNA, or is it a byproduct of how we were raised, our environment, or simply our lifestyle?
What are your thoughts? Can a naive individual actually develop more discernment and wisdom?
And if so, what is the path to achieving that?

Someone very close to me is incredibly naive, and frankly, it breaks my heart to watch it happen.

If your old man was an artist—specifically into that Americana folk art style—then there’s a better shot at it. 😁
It'll probably fade as you get older. Honestly, maybe being this way is better than just being realistic. 🙂

quietviper27 said:Hey,

It really comes down to basic human naivety—that tendency to put far too much faith in others. It’s when someone operates under the delusion that everyone around them is inherently good, kind, or well-intentioned. Or perhaps it's when a person fails to see they're being played, falling for smooth talk just to secure some perceived benefit, only to realize later they were being manipulated... It's that classic case of seeing the world through rose-colored glasses when, in reality, life is much harsher than that.

So, here is my question,

is this level of naivety something hardwired into our DNA, or is it a byproduct of how we were raised, our environment, or simply our lifestyle?
What are your thoughts? Can a naive individual actually develop more discernment and wisdom?
And if so, what is the path to achieving that?

Someone very close to me is incredibly naive, and frankly, it breaks my heart to watch it happen.

Every single naive person I know either had naive parents,
or they grew up with manipulative parents who intentionally raised them to be easy targets
so they could pull their strings even more effectively. 🤣

I'm putting my money on upbringing, environment, and lifestyle.
Genetics? I don't think so.
If you take two average-intelligence naive parents, their kid could grow up to be a master manipulator among a group of scammers if they're taught how to play the game.
It's just like the dynamic between Ezel and Omer in that drama series from a few years back.

Naivety is essentially just accepting information from various sources without ever pausing to question if they're actually credible; naiva is really just about misplaced trust, where a naive individual simply wants to believe whoever happens to be serving them a narrative.
It isn't some sort of pathology or medical condition... it's a choice.
Is it curable? Not exactly. But one could certainly attempt to nudge someone in a different direction using more subtle, non-invasive methods... because the moment they realize what you're doing, they'll grow suspicious and likely double down on their faith in the other side.

The only real cure—or at least a way to dull the sting—for being too naive is through experience.

It’s a sad pattern, really. I see people shift from being those wide-eyed optimists who trust everyone, straight into becoming cynics who don't trust a soul. Personally? I think that kind of existence is just plain miserable.

There is also this other tendency—this habit where people try to pin their own blatant failures and blunders on everyone else. They hide behind this mask of being "too naiva" or just being too kindhearted to function. You know the type—they always have those tired old excuses ready, like, "Oh, what can I do? I'm just too good for my own good, I trust everyone... I guess only the sharks survive in this world."

Nathan Foster4 said:Every single naive person I know either had naive parents,
or they grew up with manipulative parents who intentionally raised them to be easy targets
so they could pull their strings even more effectively. 🤣

I'm putting my money on upbringing, environment, and lifestyle.
Genetics? I don't think so.
If you take two average-intelligence naive parents, their kid could grow up to be a master manipulator among a group of scammers if they're taught how to play the game.
It's just like the dynamic between Ezel and Omer in that drama series from a few years back.

How fascinating!

The individual who prompted this entire discussion actually comes from a family of very wise parents, which makes this massive decline even more baffling. Sure, maybe those parents made a mistake—perhaps they just wanted to shield their child from the harsh realities of the world by feeding them fairy tales—but now we're left with a fully grown adult who has learned how to just sit there and take it...

quietviper27 said:How fascinating!

The individual who prompted this entire discussion actually comes from a family of very wise parents, which makes this massive decline even more baffling. Sure, maybe those parents made a mistake—perhaps they just wanted to shield their child from the harsh realities of the world by feeding them fairy tales—but now we're left with a fully grown adult who has learned how to just sit there and take it...

So, what exactly is making this person naive?
And what kind of "crack" are they smoking?
If this is supposed to be hilarious, just tell me now so I can move to a sturdier chair before I lose it laughing.

Nathan Foster4 said:So, what exactly is making this person naive?
And what kind of "crack" are they smoking?
If this is supposed to be hilarious, just tell me now so I can move to a sturdier chair before I lose it laughing.

I wasn't trying to quote anyone, just felt like putting this out there...
People are born equal in the eyes of God
but then parents smoke weed or whatever—so the kid pays the price
fine
who designed this mess?
WHICH DEMOCRATIC SYSTEM BUILT THIS CHAOS
who's busy numbing the public with endless farming sims and trashy reality shows? who?
families can't afford groceries, yet there's plenty of money for those pig-fest reality TV shows
it's pathetic...

Nathan Foster4 said:Every single naive person I know either had naive parents,
or they grew up with manipulative parents who intentionally raised them to be easy targets
so they could pull their strings even more effectively. 🤣

I'm putting my money on upbringing, environment, and lifestyle.
Genetics? I don't think so.
If you take two average-intelligence naive parents, their kid could grow up to be a master manipulator among a group of scammers if they're taught how to play the game.
It's just like the dynamic between Ezel and Omer in that drama series from a few years back.

Well, my mom is definitely naive, and her parents? They’re calculated as hell, kind of like working at a big corporate firm in Chicago.☕

quietviper27 said:How fascinating!

The individual who prompted this entire discussion actually comes from a family of very wise parents, which makes this massive decline even more baffling. Sure, maybe those parents made a mistake—perhaps they just wanted to shield their child from the harsh realities of the world by feeding them fairy tales—but now we're left with a fully grown adult who has learned how to just sit there and take it...

But honestly, I don't think that's what happened here; it's more like what Nathan Foster4 was getting at. They raised her specifically so she could be manipulated. I mean, I don't even think she realizes what they're actually like, even now.🤣

Joseph Gonzalez57 said:Naivety is essentially just accepting information from various sources without ever pausing to question if they're actually credible; naiva is really just about misplaced trust, where a naive individual simply wants to believe whoever happens to be serving them a narrative.
It isn't some sort of pathology or medical condition... it's a choice.
Is it curable? Not exactly. But one could certainly attempt to nudge someone in a different direction using more subtle, non-invasive methods... because the moment they realize what you're doing, they'll grow suspicious and likely double down on their faith in the other side.

I'm with you on this one. It really does come down to a choice.
Personally, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, I get burned sometimes, but I figure everyone is innocent until proven otherwise. Does that make me naive? Probably.
But honestly, turning into someone who trusts absolutely nobody sounds like a pretty miserable way to live.

Matthew Booth2 said:I'm with you on this one. It really does come down to a choice.
Personally, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, I get burned sometimes, but I figure everyone is innocent until proven otherwise. Does that make me naive? Probably.
But honestly, turning into someone who trusts absolutely nobody sounds like a pretty miserable way to live.

I am 100% with you on this!

I guess I'll just add that as you get older and go through more stuff, you definitely stop being "naive" about certain specific things, but that doesn't mean you have to stop trusting people in general 🤷 I still want to believe that most folks are actually good at heart, even though I've seen enough to know that isn't always the case...

To be honest, I don't really know where I got this from, because my parents never fed me any fairy tales or anything like that, and I've definitely dealt my fair share of sketchy people and bad experiences in my life, so if anything, maybe that's why I choose to lead with trust instead 🤷

Could you ever see yourself being in a relationship with someone who was just completely naive?

quietviper27 said:Could you ever see yourself being in a relationship with someone who was just completely naive?

Absolutely not—they need to be sharp, if not significantly sharper than I am.
Sure, if they were a bit clueless back when they were kids, I can overlook that—it's part of growing up.
But being a lifelong naive soul? No way. That’s a dealbreaker.
Only Regina could pull that off... Katalenić 🤣 🤣

quietviper27 said:Could you ever see yourself being in a relationship with someone who was just completely naive?

I mean, I guess the only way that works is if you're looking for some kind of pushover you can just manipulate whenever you feel like it.😁
Personally, having a partner who just doesn't catch on to anything would probably drive me absolutely insane.

Matthew Booth2 said:I'm with you on this one. It really does come down to a choice.
Personally, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, I get burned sometimes, but I figure everyone is innocent until proven otherwise. Does that make me naive? Probably.
But honestly, turning into someone who trusts absolutely nobody sounds like a pretty miserable way to live.

Thank You!☕

Emily Garcia3 said:I am 100% with you on this!

I guess I'll just add that as you get older and go through more stuff, you definitely stop being "naive" about certain specific things, but that doesn't mean you have to stop trusting people in general 🤷 I still want to believe that most folks are actually good at heart, even though I've seen enough to know that isn't always the case...

To be honest, I don't really know where I got this from, because my parents never fed me any fairy tales or anything like that, and I've definitely dealt my fair share of sketchy people and bad experiences in my life, so if anything, maybe that's why I choose to lead with trust instead 🤷

It’s nice to see you two in agreement, but the reality is that the more someone tramples on you or betrays your trust, the more you end up trusting... because we always have to start with ourselves. We shouldn't judge the entire world based on one individual's actions.

Joseph Gonzalez57 said:It’s nice to see you two in agreement, but the reality is that the more someone tramples on you or betrays your trust, the more you end up trusting... because we always have to start with ourselves. We shouldn't judge the entire world based on one individual's actions.

But wait, how exactly do you mean we end up trusting even more? Like, are we talking about putting more faith in one specific person or just the rest of the world at large? 😬

That idea about starting with ourselves is spot on, honestly, it's such a huge truth because if you aren't out there doing the right thing yourself, you kind of just assume—or maybe you just desperately hope—that everyone else operates the same way, which makes it almost impossible to wrap your head around the fact that some people actually go out of their way to be malicious on purpose 🤷

The real kicker is just realizing that the world is full of all sorts of characters, so you've gotta learn how to read the room and figure out which group someone belongs to and who's actually worth your time...

Emily Garcia3 said:But wait, how exactly do you mean we end up trusting even more? Like, are we talking about putting more faith in one specific person or just the rest of the world at large? 😬

That idea about starting with ourselves is spot on, honestly, it's such a huge truth because if you aren't out there doing the right thing yourself, you kind of just assume—or maybe you just desperately hope—that everyone else operates the same way, which makes it almost impossible to wrap your head around the fact that some people actually go out of their way to be malicious on purpose 🤷

The real kicker is just realizing that the world is full of all sorts of characters, so you've gotta learn how to read the room and figure out which group someone belongs to and who's actually worth your time...

When I said "globally," I meant that we begin with ourselves; we use our own moral compass as a baseline. We tell ourselves, "I'm not that kind of person, so surely no one else is either." But he is an outlier, a single individual. It isn't our intellect or our capacity for thought that defines us, but rather our actions and how the world perceives those actions. We always tend to view ourselves in the best possible light, and even the manipulator likely has some sort of positive justification for their behavior, even if, from your perspective, they seem purely malicious. ☕

gentlesailor25 said:I mean, I guess the only way that works is if you're looking for some kind of pushover you can just manipulate whenever you feel like it.😁
Personally, having a partner who just doesn't catch on to anything would probably drive me absolutely insane.

Actually, I see it differently. A manipulator isn't looking for a fool; they're usually hunting for someone even more cunning than themselves. On the flip side, it's the people with genuine intentions who gravitate toward the naive. They might see the simplicity as a flaw, but they view that inherent goodness as a redeeming quality that outweighs everything else.

Look at the folks moving out of the concrete jungles and back to the countryside lately. They aren't looking for those sleazy, small-town types who spend their whole lives trying to cheat a neighbor out of a few extra bucks just so they can brag about it at the local diner. That kind of behavior is just bottom-tier.

I honestly think it all comes down to how you were raised. For instance, I grew up with my grandmother—she was an absolute sweetheart who refused to see any evil in anyone. People could walk all over her, and she’d just take it because she was so incredibly naive. And honestly? I turned out exactly the same way. I tend to cave the second someone tells me what to do... But look, life experience is slowly starting to shape me, bit by bit. I'm actively fighting to stop being that pushover... at least not when it ends up hurting me.