I feel like I'm meant for something more...

electrictiger25 said:So, I suppose I am slowly drifting into the world of adulthood... assuming, of course, there is actually some kind of recipe out there for finding purpose.😢

Given that everything is supposedly "relative," maybe the whole point of life isn't actually finding meaning, but just the endless search for it...🙂

electrictiger25 said:So, I suppose I am slowly drifting into the world of adulthood... assuming, of course, there is actually some kind of recipe out there for finding purpose.😢

Trust me, I’ve been hunting for it for forty years now and I’m still empty-handed. At this point, you just have to settle for catching those tiny, fleeting moments of actual satisfaction.

Amanda Jackson5 said:This is a textbook illustration of what Heidegger describes as living an authentic life. What we're looking at here is someone striving for that genuine sense of being, yet they haven't quite grasped that inner core of resolve—what Heidegger would call *Entschlossenheit*. Even though they're staring down the absolute nothingness that comes from projecting their existence toward the future (since, let's face it, death is the ultimate deadline), that very necessity forces them to embrace authenticity. Heidegger often points to Martin Luther as the gold standard for this; he wasn't the type to mumble, "I suppose I should probably do this," but rather to declare, "Here I am, and I can do no other."

Exactly. I can't help but think that (perhaps) I actually can.

Anything is possible if you truly want it to be.

BTW
don't waste your time hunting for the meaning of life; just live it.
It isn't a question of "to be or not to be," it's just a matter of being: I'm going. I'm here. Here I am.

electricdriver33 said:Everything is just a hustle to make a buck... 😬

As long as it doesn't break the bank. Usually, you're paying for someone's expertise—like when you go to a seminar led by a specialist, say http://www.dagroup.org/understanding-spirituality.html
http://naturewonders.com/portal/iu/285...my-statements

Personally, I think the ideal setup would be an outdoor retreat—just getting out into nature where people can actually exchange experiences. Everyone gets a turn to speak, everyone gets a turn to listen. It’s much more organic than sitting in some stuffy hall.

driftingraven122 said:I went through something similar myself—and let's just say there was no returning to "normal" life. I quit my job, dropped out of college, and spent about six to eight hours a day meditating in pursuit of the Truth. It’s become my purpose—my... whatever you want to call that higher calling. If I had to do it all over again right now, I probably would.

I suppose I don't know what the future holds. Life outside of a structured program is tough; you basically have to abandon everything. Maybe I'll head to a monastery, maybe I'll end up wandering the country as a drifter, or find some niche hobby and try to make a living off it... 🤷

But honestly? In the end, I realized I don't even care. Whatever Reality decides to throw my way, I'll just adapt. And frankly, I'm actually quite happy to be done with that whole "normal" life thing.

Eight hours of meditation a day!?! Well, damn. Cheers to that. My crew and I used to do something similar, though our sessions were much shorter, and we still ended up losing our minds a little bit going totally nuts all at once!! 😲 😁

Actually, I heard that the path taken by David Smith—the IBM instructor who first introduced me to meditation back in 1980—was almost identical to yours. But look, people change over the decades. By his later years, he had pivoted entirely to becoming a specialist in a different kind of spirituality: http://furthermore.com/us-life/recipe-for-...body/243611

It makes you wonder how your own journey might end up looking down the road, doesn't it??

electrictiger25 said:I honestly don’t even know where to begin. On paper, my life looks absolutely flawless—I’m young, I’ve got my head on straight, I’m nearly wrapping up my degree, I look decent enough, I’ve been in a stable relationship for several years now, and I have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy... Yet, for the last year or two, this creeping sense of emptiness and anxiety has started to settle in. I suspect it’s tied to the fact that I’m rapidly approaching that stage of life where society expects you to land a career, settle down, start a family, and just slide effortlessly into some "happily ever after" script. It is particularly grating when my parents start their usual litany of expectations: "Well, in two or three years, you'll probably have a baby, so you should start preparing... We need to start saving up for your wedding... You really need to find a job in your field," and so on and so forth. My best friend is following the exact same trajectory; she’s finishing up college and we spend our coffee dates discussing wedding guest lists, the struggle of the job hunt, and how she’ll likely have kids within the next couple of years...

🙂

It makes me wonder, what exactly are we? Are we just some kind of pre-programmed biological machines? Does anyone actually bother to ask if *I* want any of this? Why am I supposed to have a child just because it’s considered "normal" or because "that's what everyone does"? Why am I expected to marry and "settle down"? Whenever I pose these questions to my family, they look at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind—most of the time they just ignore me entirely and steamroll ahead with their lectures about how things "must" be done. Even when I was a little girl, I never played with baby dolls, I never spent my time daydreaming about a white wedding, and I never harbored any desire for children (and I certainly don't have any now). So why on earth should I suddenly undergo this transformation just to satisfy an external expectation? This is my life, and mine alone. Don't get me wrong, my parents don't have much sway over my actual decisions—I'll ultimately do whatever I want regardless of whether they disown me or not—but these constant expectations are profoundly disorienting...

Please don't take this the wrong way; I’m not trying to offend anyone. There are people who find genuine bliss in marriage and parenthood, who truly love that lifestyle, and more power to them. But I crave something more substantial than that; I refuse to live my life according to a cookie-cutter template. Find a job, work a standard 9-to-5, pick up the kids from school, prep breakfast and dinner, have intimacy with a spouse in the evening... and repeat that loop for thirty years? Then eventually get some grandkids, retire, and spend my mornings picking out produce at the local supermarket... Is that it? Is that the entirety of a human existence? 😲

Tell me, am I losing my mind for wanting something more (even if I can't quite articulate what that "something" is)? I feel a profound sense of pity for myself when I realize that at only 23, I already feel this utterly miserable... if this is how it feels now, what does the future hold? I've become disillusioned with people, too; I only have one true friend left (though even with her, I don't feel I can truly open up), and I simply lack the energy to invest in building relationships with anyone else. I find I only truly connect with animals; at least they are honest and instinctual. Perhaps I should just pop a few antidepressants. Then I could just fake a smile, wear a mask, retreat into my own little shell, and pretend to be fulfilled and happy just like everyone else. 🤷

...

Interesting... This touches on something I've been thinking about for years.

What your parents are saying is really just them echoing current social norms. Their perspectives aren't even truly theirs; they were handed down by society. You could find endless examples of this.

It’s a tragedy for most people. They swallow up these external ideas and societal expectations, and the worst part is they don't even realize it—they genuinely believe those thoughts are their own. They can't see or think outside the "box" they've been placed in.

Let's be real, most of us have had our brains "washed" in a similar way. The only difference is that some individuals realize they've been programmed, snap out of it, and try to think for themselves.

You aren't crazy. If anyone is crazy, it's the people living their lives like robots (as you so accurately put it).

Keep asking that question. Keep sitting with it. I believe the answer will come to you eventually—maybe not as a concrete fact, but more as a feeling or an inner drive. Maybe that's just intuition? Who knows.

And I'll leave you with a fitting quote:

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
― Frank Zappa

swiftrider47 said:Interesting... This touches on something I've been thinking about for years.

What your parents are saying is really just them echoing current social norms. Their perspectives aren't even truly theirs; they were handed down by society. You could find endless examples of this.

It’s a tragedy for most people. They swallow up these external ideas and societal expectations, and the worst part is they don't even realize it—they genuinely believe those thoughts are their own. They can't see or think outside the "box" they've been placed in.

Let's be real, most of us have had our brains "washed" in a similar way. The only difference is that some individuals realize they've been programmed, snap out of it, and try to think for themselves.

You aren't crazy. If anyone is crazy, it's the people living their lives like robots (as you so accurately put it).

Keep asking that question. Keep sitting with it. I believe the answer will come to you eventually—maybe not as a concrete fact, but more as a feeling or an inner drive. Maybe that's just intuition? Who knows.

And I'll leave you with a fitting quote:

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
― Frank Zappa

What do you actually think about these "robotic" principles of legality? I guess it’s like society deciding to impose its own rigid set of rules on itself—for instance, by putting drugs under a microscope and slapping them with criminal penalties. Maybe that's just how it works? It feels like an attempt at programmed order.

Benjamin Taylor6 said:Trust me, I’ve been hunting for it for forty years now and I’m still empty-handed. At this point, you just have to settle for catching those tiny, fleeting moments of actual satisfaction.

Well then, maybe try changing up those meditation techniques... you've been bragging about them for quite a while now...

Benjamin Taylor6 said:Trust me, I’ve been hunting for it for forty years now and I’m still empty-handed. At this point, you just have to settle for catching those tiny, fleeting moments of actual satisfaction.

Maybe that little shred of satisfaction is called "Use, nase i podase?"🤔 😬

Honestly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support and the advice. It is such a relief to finally talk to people who actually get it 🙂

I am just utterly exhausted by all these arbitrary rules—but honestly, it’s more than that. It’s the hatred, the discrimination, all those ugly social constructs that
drive a wedge between us. Sometimes I find myself staring out at this world we inhabit and just feeling overwhelmed. Everything seems to revolve around money; people are
judged solely by the size of their vacation homes or their job titles. I still remember when my dad made a comment about
this guy: "How can a man be any good if he wears shoes like those?" (The guy was wearing these beat-up, century-old sneakers because, frankly, he
couldn't care less about his footwear or how he looks to strangers). It genuinely broke my heart to hear him say that 😢 It is simply impossible
to squeeze any sense of openness out of certain types of people.

Everyone is so obsessed with cash and material possessions, acting as if they’re going to carry them into the grave with them.

I don't know exactly what it is I'm looking for... I just know that I'm not a lesbian 😁, that I will never give a damn about what Peter from the third floor thinks...
and that I want to travel—to see every single corner of this planet. I've always had this dream of living for one year at one
end of the world, then moving to another the next year, and so on. Just spinning the globe and letting my finger decide where my next home will be...

I don't know...

^You probably just need a different circle. Once I cleared out all the toxic losers from my life and surrounded myself with people who actually have their act together, everything finally clicked for me. We're social creatures by design, after all. 😁

Here is some Alan Watts for you. A little 😁 /spam

Since we’re already on the subject of "spamming," I feel like this video actually fits the vibe of this discussion quite well...

I wouldn't exactly call myself a social butterfly; I've always been more of a lone wolf...which leads to the strange irony that the larger the crowd, the
more isolated I tend to feel..it's a bit of a paradox, I know..

electrictiger25 said:Since we’re already on the subject of "spamming," I feel like this video actually fits the vibe of this discussion quite well...

I wouldn't exactly call myself a social butterfly; I've always been more of a lone wolf...which leads to the strange irony that the larger the crowd, the
more isolated I tend to feel..it's a bit of a paradox, I know..

I find myself in much the same position—I genuinely prefer my own company, mostly because I spend so much time buried in books. I need an enormous amount of solitary time just to recharge. It’s a strange paradox, I suppose; there are moments when I feel like I’m missing human connection, yet the second I actually find myself out in a crowd, all I can think about is getting back home, crawling under a warm blanket, and finally getting lost in a good book.🙄
I suppose I just retreat into this little world of my own making—a small, curated headspace where everything actually makes sense and feels a bit more beautiful than the reality we’re stuck with.

I find myself in agreement—I also struggle to define exactly what I want, though my list of what I refuse to tolerate is quite extensive. For instance, I have zero interest in being coddled, having arbitrary rules forced upon me, or dealing with anyone attempting to play boss—because, frankly, that is precisely when I tend to transform into a bit of a monster.
The only thing I know for certain would truly make me happy is traveling the world—but, unfortunately, I just don't have the means to make that happen right now.

I suppose I’d give just about anything if I could finally pinpoint exactly what it is I’m actually searching for—just so I could actually start moving toward it.
🙂

electrictiger25 said:Honestly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support and the advice. It is such a relief to finally talk to people who actually get it 🙂

I am just utterly exhausted by all these arbitrary rules—but honestly, it’s more than that. It’s the hatred, the discrimination, all those ugly social constructs that
drive a wedge between us. Sometimes I find myself staring out at this world we inhabit and just feeling overwhelmed. Everything seems to revolve around money; people are
judged solely by the size of their vacation homes or their job titles. I still remember when my dad made a comment about
this guy: "How can a man be any good if he wears shoes like those?" (The guy was wearing these beat-up, century-old sneakers because, frankly, he
couldn't care less about his footwear or how he looks to strangers). It genuinely broke my heart to hear him say that 😢 It is simply impossible
to squeeze any sense of openness out of certain types of people.

Everyone is so obsessed with cash and material possessions, acting as if they’re going to carry them into the grave with them.

I don't know exactly what it is I'm looking for... I just know that I'm not a lesbian 😁, that I will never give a damn about what Peter from the third floor thinks...
and that I want to travel—to see every single corner of this planet. I've always had this dream of living for one year at one
end of the world, then moving to another the next year, and so on. Just spinning the globe and letting my finger decide where my next home will be...

I don't know...

Eventually, you’ll realize that the wanderlust is mostly just a metaphor. Someone once pointed out that the most profound journeys usually happen right between the four walls of your own room.

coastalhound58 said:I find myself in much the same position—I genuinely prefer my own company, mostly because I spend so much time buried in books. I need an enormous amount of solitary time just to recharge. It’s a strange paradox, I suppose; there are moments when I feel like I’m missing human connection, yet the second I actually find myself out in a crowd, all I can think about is getting back home, crawling under a warm blanket, and finally getting lost in a good book.🙄
I suppose I just retreat into this little world of my own making—a small, curated headspace where everything actually makes sense and feels a bit more beautiful than the reality we’re stuck with.

I find myself in agreement—I also struggle to define exactly what I want, though my list of what I refuse to tolerate is quite extensive. For instance, I have zero interest in being coddled, having arbitrary rules forced upon me, or dealing with anyone attempting to play boss—because, frankly, that is precisely when I tend to transform into a bit of a monster.
The only thing I know for certain would truly make me happy is traveling the world—but, unfortunately, I just don't have the means to make that happen right now.

I suppose I’d give just about anything if I could finally pinpoint exactly what it is I’m actually searching for—just so I could actually start moving toward it.
🙂

Are we even single individuals at this point? 😲🙂

Amanda Jackson5 said:Eventually, you’ll realize that the wanderlust is mostly just a metaphor. Someone once pointed out that the most profound journeys usually happen right between the four walls of your own room.

This is incredibly fascinating; I actually just experienced one of those sudden "aha!" moments myself. 🙂
Truly compelling stuff.

electricdriver33 said:Maybe that little shred of satisfaction is called "Use, nase i podase?"🤔 😬

How on earth did you nail that? 😁

Benjamin Taylor6 said:As long as it doesn't break the bank. Usually, you're paying for someone's expertise—like when you go to a seminar led by a specialist, say http://www.dagroup.org/understanding-spirituality.html
http://naturewonders.com/portal/iu/285...my-statements

Personally, I think the ideal setup would be an outdoor retreat—just getting out into nature where people can actually exchange experiences. Everyone gets a turn to speak, everyone gets a turn to listen. It’s much more organic than sitting in some stuffy hall.

Eight hours of meditation a day!?! Well, damn. Cheers to that. My crew and I used to do something similar, though our sessions were much shorter, and we still ended up losing our minds a little bit going totally nuts all at once!! 😲 😁

Actually, I heard that the path taken by David Smith—the IBM instructor who first introduced me to meditation back in 1980—was almost identical to yours. But look, people change over the decades. By his later years, he had pivoted entirely to becoming a specialist in a different kind of spirituality: http://furthermore.com/us-life/recipe-for-...body/243611

It makes you wonder how your own journey might end up looking down the road, doesn't it??

I used to get hit by those feelings too, though rarely. But back then, I was having visions constantly, which actually made the meditation quite interesting. Nowadays, as a result, I have this profound silence, mental focus, and a pretty stable mood. I guess I'm mostly glad I dedicated so much time to it.

Benjamin Taylor6 said:As long as it doesn't break the bank. Usually, you're paying for someone's expertise—like when you go to a seminar led by a specialist, say http://www.dagroup.org/understanding-spirituality.html
http://naturewonders.com/portal/iu/285...my-statements

Personally, I think the ideal setup would be an outdoor retreat—just getting out into nature where people can actually exchange experiences. Everyone gets a turn to speak, everyone gets a turn to listen. It’s much more organic than sitting in some stuffy hall.

Eight hours of meditation a day!?! Well, damn. Cheers to that. My crew and I used to do something similar, though our sessions were much shorter, and we still ended up losing our minds a little bit going totally nuts all at once!! 😲 😁

Actually, I heard that the path taken by David Smith—the IBM instructor who first introduced me to meditation back in 1980—was almost identical to yours. But look, people change over the decades. By his later years, he had pivoted entirely to becoming a specialist in a different kind of spirituality: http://furthermore.com/us-life/recipe-for-...body/243611

It makes you wonder how your own journey might end up looking down the road, doesn't it??

Tantra isn't really my thing, but hey, you never know. 😁

At this point, I’m finding that neither sex nor chocolate provides any real fulfillment—honestly, I might be a lost cause😲😁

electrictiger25 said:Honestly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support and the advice. It is such a relief to finally talk to people who actually get it 🙂

I am just utterly exhausted by all these arbitrary rules—but honestly, it’s more than that. It’s the hatred, the discrimination, all those ugly social constructs that
drive a wedge between us. Sometimes I find myself staring out at this world we inhabit and just feeling overwhelmed. Everything seems to revolve around money; people are
judged solely by the size of their vacation homes or their job titles. I still remember when my dad made a comment about
this guy: "How can a man be any good if he wears shoes like those?" (The guy was wearing these beat-up, century-old sneakers because, frankly, he
couldn't care less about his footwear or how he looks to strangers). It genuinely broke my heart to hear him say that 😢 It is simply impossible
to squeeze any sense of openness out of certain types of people.

Everyone is so obsessed with cash and material possessions, acting as if they’re going to carry them into the grave with them.

I don't know exactly what it is I'm looking for... I just know that I'm not a lesbian 😁, that I will never give a damn about what Peter from the third floor thinks...
and that I want to travel—to see every single corner of this planet. I've always had this dream of living for one year at one
end of the world, then moving to another the next year, and so on. Just spinning the globe and letting my finger decide where my next home will be...

I don't know...

You've got a boyfriend and you love to travel. Honestly, what could be better? Tell everyone trying to nag you or force you into their little mold to just go jump in a lake!

Just try to tune out those narrow-minded people who want you to live a tiny, restricted life just because that’s what they think is "right." There isn't some universal blueprint for how to live, just like there isn't one single answer to the meaning of life—everyone’s got their own version.

And honestly? Avoid these deep dives with your parents. It’s pretty unrealistic to think you can actually convince them that their way isn't the only way; they tend to dig their heels in way too hard. If they bring it up, don't get sucked into a massive debate—just act bored or indifferent. If things get heated, just walk away if you can. And hey, if you feel like it, feel free to toss a sarcastic comment their way about their "life advice" just for the hell of it. 😉

To deal with that feeling of emptiness, you've gotta find something you actually give a damn about. Some folks here suggested leaning into spirituality, but it can be anything that fills your cup. Music, sketching, woodworking, volunteering, getting lost in a good book, scientific research (if you've got the degree), writing stories or poetry, coding...

The options are endless, really. You just need to hunt down your passion if you haven't already. Once you find it, go for it and live your dream! 😉

coastalhound58 said:At this point, I’m finding that neither sex nor chocolate provides any real fulfillment—honestly, I might be a lost cause😲😁

Just switch up the routine and grab a box of those fancy chocolates instead. You know, the ones filled with sweet liqueur.😁