Real paranoia or just being paranoid?

So, I was looking into what exactly datamn~1.exe or Data Manager is all about...
I suppose I should ask, what is its actual purpose, and what kind of tasks can one realistically use it for?

I have this theory that they’re essentially gaslighting me, trying to force me into being more empathetic or focusing on other people's needs, presumably so I’ll feel better and finally commit to that girl.

but honestly, all they actually managed to achieve was leaving me feeling like I had a heavy weight pressing down on my skull for two straight months. I couldn't sleep for anything, and I think I lost about five pounds just from the sheer anxiety of it all... But that part is over now; it's been two months since I started having positive thoughts regarding their massive little psychological game. Though, I suppose the FBI still occasionally pokes at me, hinting that someone might take their own life, or someone will end up killing someone else, or maybe I'll just wind up in a psychiatric ward.

If I didn't convince myself that they actually have good intentions, I probably would have sent them all a scathing message via DM a hundred times over by now...
yet I keep telling them that this whole approach is a mistake, because any social interaction I have with people I don't truly trust is going to remain entirely superficial. And that goes for my own parents as well, I guess.

As far as the girl is concerned, I care about her more than anyone else... though, I suppose the others are decent enough too.

I suppose I’m siding with the first person here; I just want this whole ordeal to be over with.
Regarding the second person, that girl
As for the third, I think it would be reasonable if they gave me some sort of approximate breakdown of what was actually done to me, mostly so I might eventually find a way to trust people again.
And as for the fourth, well, maybe some massive, sweeping changes to everything!

And, I suppose my greatest wish would be for her to be the one to initiate things first, just to see how that might play out.
I also find myself somewhat interested in the idea of poking at Gnip a little bit, if I'm being honest.

look, if you're REALLY that obsessed—just go talk to her face-to-face then

quietgull75 said:look, if you're REALLY that obsessed—just go talk to her face-to-face then

I mean, that is precisely what I want to do, but she seems to be drifting away, or perhaps she's just pushing back, or maybe it's a bit of both... It gets under my skin quite a bit, I suppose, because she tends to overdo it.
And then, naturally, I end up taking the whole conversation into private messages. And then some wise guy always manages to chime in, trying to encourage me to give it another shot.
I wouldn't have ever been pulled into this little game if I hadn't allowed it myself, I guess. And I allowed it because, well, I wanted to play along a little bit... but certainly not to this extent.

Maybe she’s acting distant just to see if you’ll actually put in the work to win her over.
Stop obsessing over everyone else—just focus on her. Don't go full stalker mode either—just try being decent, patient, and showing her you actually give a damn. Win her back slowly by being a solid friend first, and eventually, she'll probably soften up. Just don't start dumping all that paranoid, suspicious crap on her—you'll just freak her out.
You gotta win her over through friendship again.

Look, man, maybe you're just not her type... I don't want to rain on your parade, but you really need to take a step back and look at this from her perspective. Is it possible she's become a bit of an obsession for you? Just sit down, take a breath, and try to look at the whole situation objectively. 😉

quietgull75 said:Maybe she’s acting distant just to see if you’ll actually put in the work to win her over.
Stop obsessing over everyone else—just focus on her. Don't go full stalker mode either—just try being decent, patient, and showing her you actually give a damn. Win her back slowly by being a solid friend first, and eventually, she'll probably soften up. Just don't start dumping all that paranoid, suspicious crap on her—you'll just freak her out.
You gotta win her over through friendship again.

Everything you're saying sounds like something I imagine she would say herself🙂. However, she really needs to give me another chance to prove that. To be honest, I've forgiven her for all the nonsense that went down with my head and my social circle, because I realize now that she didn't have bad intentions, but I wish everyone could understand that I didn't have bad intentions either; everything bad I did was sort of a self-defense mechanism, because, well, I felt attacked and panicked. I want to be constructive here. I want her to tell me whatever she needs to say about herself. I'm willing to accept that and I want to try again with her. I'm not quite as cold as I may have come across. I suppose if I don't clear the air with her, there will always be this lingering feeling haunting me... I'm not rejecting her, but if she wants me, I guess she should just make it happen sooner rather than later.
If she did all those things to me out of love, then I value that, and I don't think there should be any shame in her telling me. I also want to open up to her regarding all the stupid things I imagined while I was busy creating my own false reality.
And I do believe it would be smarter for us if I listened to her rather than her listening to me. Though, at the same time, I think she occasionally needs someone to act as a brake, since she tends to get carried away too easily.

Watch out for the fallout if I ever actually find out the truth I've been searching for so desperately; I mean, almost every scenario I've conjured up seems to revolve around her anyway.

But fine, if you’ve already decided that I’m the one who’s going to end up being picked up from the psych ward by you, acting like the last idiot standing.
Well, maybe that works? Though, I suppose there really isn't much of a need for it.

It would probably be better if we focused on being more constructive rather than just being destructive.

Don't you think she might feel like she's being blackmailed if things go that way?

frozenharbor10 said:Don't you think she might feel like she's being blackmailed if things go that way?

I suppose I'm not quite sure I follow your reasoning there... what exactly do you mean by that?

At this point, I suppose all I am really looking for from her is just one single thing: for her to look directly into the camera lens and tell me exactly where we stand. Everything else beyond that... well, that’s entirely up to her, I guess. It could be her own will, or perhaps it's just my own desires, or maybe I'm just mistakenly assuming things are her desires when they aren't.

Honestly, you might have better luck if you just tried something along the lines of: "Look, I'm sorry, but the games need to stop. I feel like this has gone way too far, at least from my perspective." Just be real with her about how you're feeling, and then she can tell you exactly where you stand right away.

frozenharbor10 said:Honestly, you might have better luck if you just tried something along the lines of: "Look, I'm sorry, but the games need to stop. I feel like this has gone way too far, at least from my perspective." Just be real with her about how you're feeling, and then she can tell you exactly where you stand right away.

Sure, but I really want to handle this in person; I'm honestly just done with these long-distance setups, but she won't make that happen.

What exactly am I feeling toward her? I suppose...
Well, I find myself drifting into thoughts involving her almost all day long... perhaps that is what this is. At times, I catch myself imagining holding her close, or even wanting to kiss her.
There were a few instances where I imagined being much more aggressive, you know, pulling her sweater down, but that isn't the case anymore. In truth, I don't think I could ever actually go through with something like that.

Honestly, it might not be a bad idea to just give her a call and lay everything out on the table. If she actually cares about you, she’d find a way to meet you halfway...

frozenharbor10 said:Honestly, it might not be a bad idea to just give her a call and lay everything out on the table. If she actually cares about you, she’d find a way to meet you halfway...

Well, I don't actually have her number anymore. I deleted it from my contacts, much like I tossed out everything she ever gave me. One thing at a time, really. I'd just end up getting angry at her again if I kept any of it.
And I suspect she might have blocked me as well.

The only thing left is this one email address I managed to dig up online, which I've already used to send her a second message.
I also reached out to her best friend, who is fully aware of the whole situation.

Though, I suppose it’s unlikely she'll even see my email there, given that she uses it for Facebook, and I imagine her inbox is probably just buried under a mountain of FBa spam.

And I suppose there’s a chance she could actually see everything I’m typing into Google if I just leave the data manager turned on? If that were the case, then maybe I could find a way to reach out to her
PS: I have actually kept it disabled for the last couple of days, mostly because I am feeling rather frustrated with her for certain reasons

I really don't want to tell Vic I love her unless I am absolutely, one hundred percent certain about it;
it honestly just irritates me when people throw those kinds of words around so carelessly,
so instead, I suppose I'll just say that I care about her and that I really do like her.